lettered: (Default)
About ten years ago, when I was sixteen, I was spending a significant portion every day looking for an objective morality. I didn’t feel I could definitively tell right from wrong. It bothered me, so I thought that I could find a “platform” from which to view the world, I could determine the difference in any situation. I spent a lot of time thinking and writing about it.

Later I found out what philosophy and religion were about.

That’s my best example of having Things To Say about something, then realizing Things had already been said. Finding out you’ve been chipping away at a question that is pretty much the central theme of all abstract thought in the history of the world can be kind of a downer, actually. Gets to be even more of a downer when you realize that people have always been chipping away at all the questions you’ll ever think to ask, and they’ve chipped deeper than you’re going to.

It makes you wonder, what’s the point? Are you unwilling to speak unless to say something that will impress the whole room? )

So, do you feel the intimidation thing? On LJ? In writing? In real life? How do you get past it? Do you think about someone who inspires you, or does that make it worse? Who/what is it that intimidates you? What do you want to do with your life, anyway?
lettered: (Default)
Hello everyone. I haven't been on my journal in a while. I really miss you guys.

Here's what I've been up to! )

So, that's me. What's up with you? *puts chin in hands, ready to listen*
lettered: (Default)
1. I think someone on lj just spoiled me for BSG. It was about my favorite character. I'm going to kill someone.
I don't frown because I have a list. Lists make me happy. )
lettered: (Default)
So I finished my IWRY fic. Do I know why I am posting, since I will be posting about it again when it gets posted on my day? No. Do I care? Not really.

It was nice to write Buffy people again. Even if it was really only four Buffy people, one of which was actually an Angel people. I'm surprised I actually remember how to spell Buffy.

Anyway, I do have discussion points for you all. Don't collectively groan. Or do; I can't hear you so it doesn't matter. Here it is: I find it remarkably easier to write fanfic when I'm not knee-deep in the fandom it pertains to. I'll always love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Angel, but it's not my "thing" right now, and therefore it's easier to write. Remember Man's Best Friend? Which is one of my favorite fics I've written (and yes, I still plan on finishing, so sorry!)? I was not "in" the fandom when I wrote that. I still wanted to write Angel fanfic, obviously, but Angel was not my every waking thought, you know?

I think this is the case because I have So Serious Syndrome. More about SSS, and what YOU can do to prevent it. )
lettered: (Default)
Thought about it a lot, and I'm leaving Livejournal.

That's all dramatic and stuff, but I probably won't be gone until the end of the year. If most people decide to leave, and there's a mass exodus before then, I may be gone earlier. But this journal, my fic journal, and my private backup journal will be gone for certain by January 1, 2008.

I have a lot of stuff to say about the whole LJ/6A debacle, but for some reason every time I start a post on it I just have to get up and walk away from it, give it some time, read lots and lots of Harry/Draco, spend time with my family, or eat ice cream. Can't decide whether I'm too angry about it, depressed perhaps, lazy maybe, or possibly I'm an ostrich? Anyway, during the strikeout in May I felt very energized, but maybe that was because I thought that it was possible that LJ had made a mistake, and after hearing customer complaints, would fix it. In other words, I knew I was going to give Livejournal another chance. Well, I did, but I am still displeased as a customer. So, I take my business elsewhere.

I don't know where. One of the reasons I'm staying on LJ for another few months is that I want to see how many other people leave and where they go. Even if a lot of you leave (which I sekritly hope you will), it will not be all at once, and LJ will still be the place to be in the thick of fandom things for a while. If there is a mass movement, decision making, support/rallying/reasearch/etc to be done, I want to be involved. And if people are going to continue to discuss the issues connected to why I'm leaving, I want to be a part of those discussions. Because I do have a lot to say, and I want to say it to my flist, people who I'm interested in having around wherever I end up.

I'm going to back up the journals I have here and copy them to Insane Journal for now. I'm going to be cross-posting to Insane Journal (where I am tkp) and possibly Journal Fen over the next several months. I hope to gradually phase out: to just post links to fic here, instead of actual fics here, etc. Then I will be gone. I know I can make myself do that, but I know I can't make myself never visit LJ again. If you do decide to stay and not post elsewhere, I may still visit from time to time, but I will not have an account here ever again. I don't want to lose touch with any of you. I mean, well, except you; you're always talking about your grandmother's corns.

So, um, this isn't quite yet goodbye, and won't be for a while. Mostly I'm just posting this because once I say I'll do something, I'll do it. And now I've said it.

Okay, now that announcements are over: what're your thoughts? Leavin' on a jet plane? Why? Staying, why? Cat macros? Why not? Where are you going, if you go, where're you lookin' at, what are your hopes and dreams for fandom future? What did you think of the last ep of Mad Men? Is Jason Isaacs the man, or what? How 'bout that burr86, Barak, and Brad? Does the news comm make you laugh, cry, headdesk, or wha...? Did anyone even like the first two Bourne movies? What's your favorite pizza delivery service? Do you think Livejournal would disallow canon!Buffy/Angel fanart? How come I can't spell misogyny? What's the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? And the number one question all of us are asking: how come Buffy never wore the go-go boots again?
lettered: (Default)
I have a whole bunch of comments to reply to and I also want to say, "hello [livejournal.com profile] seraphcelene, you're the bestest ever, more later but I thought you should know that today and every day."

My Interests List on my userinfo page interests me. In a completely neurotic, scary way. Also I'm having trouble sleeping, and I think WEIRD things when I try. )

So! Tell me about your interest list, how you came up with it, what you add to it, when you add to it, why, how you think of it as. Talk about some of your favorite interests or what you think some of your more interesting interests are. Talk about other people's lists, how you think of them, whether you look at them, what the most interesting lists you've seen are, and stuff. Talk or ask me about mine, tell me I'm a spaz, go off on something random, love me, fear me! Though I am perfectly aware about how much of a spaz I am.
lettered: (Default)
Hi I'm sort of alive!

So this past week has been pretty crazy. If you posted something chances are I didn't read it, but don't link me to it now 'cause ... I still won't be able to read it.

But I'll be ghosting about, and should be back regularly by next week. Then I can read the rest of the IWRY Marathon stories, reply to emails, read fics, leave fb, and dump wild and crazy meta on you that's been stewing forever, and possibly also that cracktastic Spangel thing.

But for now, lots of family and lots of food and lots of stuff and lots of driving later, I have those strange intersections of family, friends and fandom to share. TKFamily Holiday Hijinks )
lettered: (Default)
B. I use words to get the thoughts out of my head. ) So in general I hate writing outlines/plans for stories/essays, for fear I'll waste the idea of what I want to write in the form of an outline instead of a story, and so never be able to write the story itself. How bout you? Like writing outlines? Thoughts, notes, ideas? Hate it? Why?

R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. ) This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?

A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)

I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.

N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.

S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?
lettered: (Default)

I feel the need to point out that this isn't in response to anything--people are always trimming or locking or skipping or what have you.  Actually, it is in response to something.  3 things, actually.

1. [profile] imnotacommittee informed me that there's such a thing as a rich text editor for when you post. I had no idea.  Beats the shit out of typing out all that freakin' code, and made me wonder what other little treats lj has I'm too lazy to suss out.
2. I'm going to Austin tomorrow and will be gone for two days.  I'm wondering what'll be up with the ole flist when I get back and how I'll ever manage.
3. Which really just made me wonder how everyone manages, and how all this crap works, and while everyone is always discussing it I'm interested in having stuff to discuss with everyone on my lj when I get back.  Yay!

Look at the color of this text, yay!

P.S. I've discovered I hate the rich text thing.  I've discovered that this post contains massive frippery and the title of the cut is misleading.  It's much more difficult to edit such a thing when one is using this do-hickey.  I throw up my hands I say, I throw up my...ouch, ceiling.  And ew, throw up.

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