I love the changes you've made to the ending. Great juxtaposition of the hateful and the heroic:

And I could keep touching, touch right on through to the outside, to the world, where there are mothers loving and beating children, kids eating ice cream and shooting their class-mates and watching cartoons, men raping each other and dying for each other.

This is the world we've made. Isn't it wonderful?

You put so much time and effort and work into this piece, and every bit of it paid off. Beautifully done. You should be very proud. *hugs*