I can relate to this. My hormonal swings are milder, but I've definitely thought to myself, "Oh, come on, your life is not a whit worse than it was last week; why are you being such a gloomfest today?"

And I'm almost a little envious of your suicide epiphany. I think I had situational depression once, but I have a hard time imagining the hopeless, pointless grayness that some people with clinical depression describe. If I could do so under temporary, science fictionish conditions, I would. Well, same for a lot of things, good and bad. What does it feel like to be ___?

I'm glad you're feeling better.