Ha! Yes! Thank you for that--I feel very flattered!
This covers a lot of ground, philisophically, in a short period of time.
stultiloquentia pointed out that it's a tad manic and over-packed. I tend to agree. This is definitely rough around the edges. In my defense, this was for a ficathon, and I had a deadline.
I'm not sure, either how the different parts go together right away.
The timing (after Angel dies, when he comes back, after Buffy dies, when she comes back) is supposed to thematically connect to their self-identification. It's a study on how we define ourselves by the other people in our lives, and how losing those people affects us. That said, the same person I mentioned above pointed out that the moments I chose to write about aren't really...definitive. They're much more ... "day in the life", and I'm still not sure that works at all.
I worked in a breakfast diner that really reminds me of the one in "Anne"--I'm so glad this evoked that kind of experience for you too.
Yeah, the physical shape of the text is not something people consider in prose, thought they do in poetry. Changing that is one of the main things I wanted to do with this fic.
The dialogue here rubbed me wrong somehow:
Ooh! Thanks for pointing that out. I had a real problem with that line. I wanted the line to parallel waitressing to Slaying; i.e., you don't really matter, someone's always waiting to replace you; when you leave nothing changes, etc. But I think I tried to hard to make that parallel really explicit, and whether it's the commas that bothered you or not, that's the underlying problem in the dialogue here.
I'm totally rambling my head off, but I always view fb as an excuse to talk about me me me, so thank you.
no subject
Ha! Yes! Thank you for that--I feel very flattered!
This covers a lot of ground, philisophically, in a short period of time.
I'm not sure, either how the different parts go together right away.
The timing (after Angel dies, when he comes back, after Buffy dies, when she comes back) is supposed to thematically connect to their self-identification. It's a study on how we define ourselves by the other people in our lives, and how losing those people affects us. That said, the same person I mentioned above pointed out that the moments I chose to write about aren't really...definitive. They're much more ... "day in the life", and I'm still not sure that works at all.
I worked in a breakfast diner that really reminds me of the one in "Anne"--I'm so glad this evoked that kind of experience for you too.
Yeah, the physical shape of the text is not something people consider in prose, thought they do in poetry. Changing that is one of the main things I wanted to do with this fic.
The dialogue here rubbed me wrong somehow:
Ooh! Thanks for pointing that out. I had a real problem with that line. I wanted the line to parallel waitressing to Slaying; i.e., you don't really matter, someone's always waiting to replace you; when you leave nothing changes, etc. But I think I tried to hard to make that parallel really explicit, and whether it's the commas that bothered you or not, that's the underlying problem in the dialogue here.
I'm totally rambling my head off, but I always view fb as an excuse to talk about me me me, so thank you.