The bit where Darla talks about approval makes me think that this is what he most desired from his father, not some kind of victory,

Yeah, exactly--I think you and Dave hit the nail on the head with that.

I also think your interpretations might not necessarily be either or but instead maybe a mix of both?

Yeah, as I said at the beginning of this post and as I just told Lynne: I'm not sure I agree with everything I say about Angel here, either. This presents a very uniform viewpoint that's very specific, and it's far more likely that Angel doesn't conform to any particular way of acting that's so easily defined, just as real life humans don't.