The beginning's great, and the end is dazzlingly hot. The middle part, though -- Buffy's thoughts in the bathroom -- feel infodumpy to me. I'm having trouble sorting out my reaction. I agree with everything she's thinking; your meta's as good as ever; but I guess I heard too much Author in there at once. An original story could probably get away with it, because it wouldn't have all that meta looming over it. I'll probably disagree with myself tomorrow. I do (see, I contradict myself!) like that you're letting Buffy be reflective. Because she *can* be reflective, it's just not often obvious on the show, because she doesn't share.