Wow, what a gorgeous poem. I never thought I'd be used as an example of metaphor alongside D.H. Lawrence. Thank you! :) (Though I think Lawrence's talent is still beyond my grasp. Just a bit. *g*)

I think the thing I always strive for, and that I love to see, is inventive phrasing. Not every invention works, but I love to see writers make the effort. That's what I love about your writing. There's always some combination of words, images or phrasing that I've never read before, and it just gives me those "wow" moments, when I think, "I never in a million years would have thought of that."