It's true, I almost got in touch with my Joyce-tolerance not only at the moments you mention, but also when she went at Spike with an axe.
However, I always felt it non-sequitur, almost out of character, that Buffy felt loved by her mom. I was glad she did because I wanted her to feel loved by her mother, but I personally saw very little love for Buffy in Joyce. Part of it was the actress, though. There were some moments that I think were supposed to by mother/daughterly, and came off to me stilted. KS and SMG had NO chemistry, imo.
Also, I always felt Buffy's fixation on the dinner in S4 showed signs of a manic mother who stressed out and made everyone's life hell for "events." I come from a long line of women who like to cook and throw fancy parties, and while I think my mom (and my granny) are very good mothers, their preoccupation with having everything perfect for "family get-togethers" has been dreadful for the families involved.
Lastly, I'm probably really biased against Joyce because of how I feel about my own parents. I kind of...idolize my parents, and liked to think they'd never treat me the way Joyce treats Buffy. I'm aware I probably make my parents about to be larger-than-life, so I might be holding Joyce to a standard of perfection that doesn't exist. Still, I watched BtVS with my parents and they hated Joyce as much (or more) than me. (My dad wouldn't stop cheering during "The Body," which was really tasteless and annoying, since that's such a heart-wrenching episode, even if you detest Joyce).
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However, I always felt it non-sequitur, almost out of character, that Buffy felt loved by her mom. I was glad she did because I wanted her to feel loved by her mother, but I personally saw very little love for Buffy in Joyce. Part of it was the actress, though. There were some moments that I think were supposed to by mother/daughterly, and came off to me stilted. KS and SMG had NO chemistry, imo.
Also, I always felt Buffy's fixation on the dinner in S4 showed signs of a manic mother who stressed out and made everyone's life hell for "events." I come from a long line of women who like to cook and throw fancy parties, and while I think my mom (and my granny) are very good mothers, their preoccupation with having everything perfect for "family get-togethers" has been dreadful for the families involved.
Lastly, I'm probably really biased against Joyce because of how I feel about my own parents. I kind of...idolize my parents, and liked to think they'd never treat me the way Joyce treats Buffy. I'm aware I probably make my parents about to be larger-than-life, so I might be holding Joyce to a standard of perfection that doesn't exist. Still, I watched BtVS with my parents and they hated Joyce as much (or more) than me. (My dad wouldn't stop cheering during "The Body," which was really tasteless and annoying, since that's such a heart-wrenching episode, even if you detest Joyce).