I need to think more about Buffy because frankly, B/S distresses and confuses me so much I couldn't tell you which wears the pants.
I don't really know about the pants. With B/A they're a couple for a short time and they never have the time to do the wrangling that people do to work out how the pantswearing goes. And those fights would be significant because they'd usually wind up being about what each of them really thinks is important in life. They're generally not going to fight over things that don't matter -- the example of the fights they'd have are things like 'Sanctuary' which is about two things - them respecting each other as damaged near-adults and also a professional dispute over jurisdiction... but they're both fighting over different things - and they know why they're fighting. Those fights are part of building toward a more stable future.
Buffy/Spike's fights about pantswearing are different because I think they aren't fighting over the same thing. Spike is trying to hold onto her, and fighting to try to control because he needs it to feel important. While Buffy is working through all of her anger. So even when they're fighting over pants, they aren't fightin over the same things and they never really build to anything. The best they do is help her deal with the unhappiness. And then you get S7, where Spike is realizing that, and so he's not pushing her as much because he realizes those fights over who is who aren't going to solve anything.
no subject
I don't really know about the pants. With B/A they're a couple for a short time and they never have the time to do the wrangling that people do to work out how the pantswearing goes. And those fights would be significant because they'd usually wind up being about what each of them really thinks is important in life. They're generally not going to fight over things that don't matter -- the example of the fights they'd have are things like 'Sanctuary' which is about two things - them respecting each other as damaged near-adults and also a professional dispute over jurisdiction... but they're both fighting over different things - and they know why they're fighting. Those fights are part of building toward a more stable future.
Buffy/Spike's fights about pantswearing are different because I think they aren't fighting over the same thing. Spike is trying to hold onto her, and fighting to try to control because he needs it to feel important. While Buffy is working through all of her anger. So even when they're fighting over pants, they aren't fightin over the same things and they never really build to anything. The best they do is help her deal with the unhappiness. And then you get S7, where Spike is realizing that, and so he's not pushing her as much because he realizes those fights over who is who aren't going to solve anything.