Monkeys, apes and people are the only animals who masturbate, and have sex just for pleasure. The More You Know. Heh.

I'm really sorry about your laptop. It's a nightmare, true. But OTOH, they didn't take it out of your house, and it doesn't have like, the only copy of your novel or something. It could have been a lot worse.

I love my ducky because he looks so calm on top, but he is paddling like hell underneath. Welcome to my metaphor!

SMOOOCH YOU