Rec: One Thousand Kisses Deep (Buffy)

[lettered]

I wish everyone could go read One Thousand Kisses Deep by seraphcelene. This writer always has poetic language and vivid imagery, but when I first read this what really got to me was the concept. I did some thinking about it and suggested some things to seraphcelene (which I took way too long on, sorry again, L), but what's remained is the core idea, which just gets me every time.

Lots of times I think of fanfic as a way to satisfy my id, or at the very least, very personal desires. In other words, "just for funsies!" Whenever it starts to get bigger and meta, I ask myself what stultiloquentia just asked (rhetorically) in an email: why do we do this again? Then I read fics like this, and remember. Dude, this is fun.

Here, take this show about a girl kicking vampire ass. I know there was deeper thinking going on in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's why I liked the show; sometimes, there were consequences. In season 7, Buffy and Willow turned some couple thousand girls into Slayers. Someone on the show considered some of the consequences there; there was the Crazy Slayer in season 5 of Angel.

But what One Thousand Kisses Deep does is comes along and says, "Wait. The fuck? Let's look at how this (Slayer) identity has always been oppressive, something forced on her that causes her to struggle for a sense of self. Let's look at how much I love Buffy, and what the fuck you just did to her. Let's look at what happens when you do this to a thousand other girls. Let's look at how much I love girls, and what you just did to all of them. Let's look at Buffy/Angel, how this affects the deeply twisted psychological issues already there. Let's look at motherfucking incest, let's look at female identity and abuse of power. Let's analyze the shit out of this, because it's going to be awesome. And why not do it heartbreaking prose, because I can?*"

Let's get to work. Guys, seriously. Seriously guys. I love fandom and I love writing and I love this.

*There is little to no actual cussing in this fic. I just get excited, sometimes.

Comments

[tkp.livejournal.com]

It a very real way I don't feel that One Thousand Kisses Deep is an enjoyable fic.

Well, here's the thing. There are definitely some fics where the whole time I read them, I'm saying, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So fun!" This is not one of those fics. The whole time I'm saying, "Ooooooooooh dear god, everything's fucked."

Some of my very favorite fics, I don't really want to reread. I liked them because I got emotional about them, and because they made me think hard, and made me squirm.

As I tried to say in this post, sometimes I wonder what the point of writing like that is. We do this for fun, this is our spare time, who wants to think or beat their brains out, aren't we all just here to get off? But the truth is, I enjoy beating my brains out. I enjoy working my ass off, if I've got something to say. And people enjoy reading it--in different ways, of course--but we enjoy thinking and insight and tearing the things we love apart. Which sounds utterly destructive, but the whole point of what we're doing as fans is seeing what makes the stuff we love tick. That makes us tick.

So, I mean, there is a place for work like this, especially when it's well done, as yours is. I think it is a difficult work of fiction, and painful to read, but that is the point. Do we want to look at this part of Buffy (ourselves)? No. And yet we want to anyway.

I'm glad if anything I did could be of service to that.

Everything is totally aces with me! I'm excited because I'm going on vacation soon, getting to quit my cashiering job soon, getting a regular schedule soon, and hopefully going to try to get back into journaling, even if it's going to be mostly Star Trek stuff. I owe you an email, but dude, lemme know what's up with you. I miss you buckets.

P.S. I'm totally going to start calling people things like cupcake and doll.

[seraphcelene]

Well, here's the thing. There are definitely some fics where the whole time I read them, I'm saying, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So fun!" This is not one of those fics. The whole time I'm saying, "Ooooooooooh dear god, everything's fucked."

I LOVE that you say this because this fic is just this *thing* and to know that it works is huge for me.

I find all of the perspectives that writers arrive from incredibly interesting. All of the why and hows and wherefores of writing. I've always wanted to write something that was the result of me wanting something specific to happen but more often than not I find that I write because I want to explore something. In the case of fanfic, I want to take things to their extreme. Push the characters as far as I can or explore what can be the deepest reality of a set of events. Because shows have to keep going and producers want to keep their audiences it doesn't seem like we can truly plunder those depths. For whatever reason. So ... I guess I'm a meta writer at heart. I think that my hang-up is that I'm not really cognizant of that when I first begin to write. Your beta reminds me think about what I'm writing and why I'm writing it. To be more clear and aware of what I'm trying to get at. Tearing out the meaty heart and turning things inside out are, for me, the best part of this whole fandom writing business. I do like to read the pretty and the shiny, but give me the wormy insides, the ultimate reality of life as it can be spiraled out and I am in love.

P.S. I'm totally going to start calling people things like cupcake and doll.

I totally love calling people things like that. Cupcake, babycakes, butterbean, sweetie pie and honey lamb. My darling, my sweet, my precious.

I hope all is well with you. Congratulations on the impending vacation (YAY for vacation)and getting to quit cashiering and hopefully we'll both be journaling again. Especially you, my dear! And it won't matter what it is because your brain is shiny and you are made of awesomeness and win and I love when you're around.