lettered: (Default)
It's Lion Turtles all the way down ([personal profile] lettered) wrote2009-08-27 09:35 pm

Fandom is SRS, guys

When I write, I do it because something in my gut needs to say something. Often with fanfic, it's saying, "I need to get these characters together!" or "I need to see what happens next!" But whatever the need is, I always get to a point in the writing where I start thinking about it. Lots of time the thinky thoughts--analysis of the need, thoughts about why this should exist, ideas about purpose--stymie my process. I suddenly have to rehaul everything I've written, because it's become more. It's not just my need to fulfill intensely personal desires any more, it is a need to say something about universal desire, about our world and myself.

To put it in fanfic terms, I start out writing crack. Then I get caught up in meta. Sometimes I start over so I can just write more crack. Sometimes I start over and just write meta. In rare instances I keep what I have and manage to turn the crack into something meta.

I've often been frustrated by this meta impulse when it comes to fanfic. It is for some people, but for me, fanfic is not that much SRS BIZNESS. It's a chance to satisfy crack impulses, which often involve porn, while my higher brain can be engaged in say, writing original fic. But that's never actually true. Fanfic always turns into SRS BIZNESS for me, whether I like it or not. As I said in my rec of One Thousand Kisses Deep by [livejournal.com profile] seraphcelene, the thinkyness is fun. Fandom isn't always just about getting off; it's about analysis and our need to express our own thoughts on the thoughts of others that we consume.

I've been talking a lot to [livejournal.com profile] my_daroga about this. We both feel we have Things To Say, which are thoughtful and important and could produce impressive works of well, art. But at the same time we're in this to get our rocks off--I don't even mean we're in it for the porn, but for those intensely personal needs I was talking about. It seems to me like we're both having difficulty reconciling that latter impulse with broader ideals. Which is interesting, because in the end both of these drives are still to satisfy ourselves.

So, has this ever happened to you? Start out writing "for funsies" and have it turn wicked serious? What did you do with that? Did you stop yourself from getting too serious because it's supposed to be "fun"? Or did you start something else that was more serious, or did you allow it to organically become serious? And what was your reaction to the fic changing on you like that? Is this something that only happens with fanfic? What are some links to fic you've written that turned serious somewhere in the process, and is the "transition" visible? Does it happen the other way around--you want to write something poetic and thinky, and it turns out a lark? AM I CRAZY?
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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2009-08-28 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I don't think being "serious" really has to do with experience, necessarily. I mean, I'm not talking about serious in the sense that serious things are happening. One can write a crack h/c story about rape, and lots of people do, which is perfectly okay, imo. The kind of thing I'm talking about is when you get into writing stuff that is philosophical--it can be "unimportant" in the greater scheme of things, it can be navel-gazing, but it involves a lot more consideration than a story in which (no matter how life-altering the events) the purpose is to satisfy base desire (again, not always sexual desire. Mostly id desires, I guess).

Anyway, maybe it is a natural progression. But I've read (and enjoyed) stories that were completely mindless--I don't mean that they made no sense, just that they did not ask me to dig deeper into philosophical questions of identity/existence/sexuality/et al. Lots of romance novels tend to be that way. So I wonder if those writers are actively avoiding getting into deeper issues, or whether those things just don't occur to them because this is "fun" writing, or what.