![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
(no subject)
A while ago now, I wrote Go Your Own Way, Bruce Wayne/Jim Gordon (okay okay, Bats/Commish) fic set in Nolan's movieverse. Sure I wanted to write porn, and yet my number one motivation seemed to be this: I wanted Gordon to drink shitty coffee. I wanted him to go to shitty diners with crabby waitstaff and sticky tables and have a little paunch. I wanted him to wear ratty sweats and buy cheap cigarettes and have to adjust the antennae on his tv. I want him to drink out of the bottle and put it back in the fridge, to eat out of a box almost every night, and to utterly fail at being a father. I wanted him to have drawings by his kids that he never really looks at stuffed in a drawer somewhere, and like a shirt that Babs gave to him that says, "best dad ever" and it has a hole in it.
I wanted to write all of this, and I wanted none of it to change. I wanted it to just go on and on and never have Gordon think about it and just have him live this sad sad life and work on Christmas, and not be happy but not too bent out of shape about it either, because this is what you do. You trim your mustache and you rarely buy new clothes and when some rich amazingly gorgeous playboy keeps showing up at your door you sort of shrug and start keeping condoms around the apartment, and you fuck him because who wouldn't, but sometimes strange things happen to you like Batman, and Batman is the best and worst thing that ever happened to you, and sometimes when you come you think of him but none of it is actually real or matters very much, because this is just your life.
Why does that story appeal to me? It's not even a story. And now it's happening again, I want to write it again, but now with more X-Files and Assistant Director Skinner. Oh, and no porn. Because after that thing with the hooker he figures it's not worth the bother. And what he really wants he can't have. And Mulder and Scully keep happening and happening with their aliens and their lying for each other and their sitting across from him tight-lipped giving him nothing, and he would give them everything except never to their faces, and meanwhile, all his shirts are perfectly pressed, and he always tried to do his job. This is what comes from being bald and middle-aged and a middle man and a bureaucrat and impotent and divorced and an ex-marine who used to believe in things but now only believes in people who believe in things.
Why do I want the things I want? Tell me this and win one hundred points!
I wanted to write all of this, and I wanted none of it to change. I wanted it to just go on and on and never have Gordon think about it and just have him live this sad sad life and work on Christmas, and not be happy but not too bent out of shape about it either, because this is what you do. You trim your mustache and you rarely buy new clothes and when some rich amazingly gorgeous playboy keeps showing up at your door you sort of shrug and start keeping condoms around the apartment, and you fuck him because who wouldn't, but sometimes strange things happen to you like Batman, and Batman is the best and worst thing that ever happened to you, and sometimes when you come you think of him but none of it is actually real or matters very much, because this is just your life.
Why does that story appeal to me? It's not even a story. And now it's happening again, I want to write it again, but now with more X-Files and Assistant Director Skinner. Oh, and no porn. Because after that thing with the hooker he figures it's not worth the bother. And what he really wants he can't have. And Mulder and Scully keep happening and happening with their aliens and their lying for each other and their sitting across from him tight-lipped giving him nothing, and he would give them everything except never to their faces, and meanwhile, all his shirts are perfectly pressed, and he always tried to do his job. This is what comes from being bald and middle-aged and a middle man and a bureaucrat and impotent and divorced and an ex-marine who used to believe in things but now only believes in people who believe in things.
Why do I want the things I want? Tell me this and win one hundred points!
no subject
I dunno about you, but I want stories like that because I am fictionally in love with people being imperfect and unromanticised.
no subject
Hmm. I don't like reading about Perfect Angel Snowflakes, but I have a thing for characters who think the whole world centers around their ANGST and DRAMA. I mean, like Batman. Harry Potter! Angel from BtVS. Zuko! I understand that these people are ridiculous, which is one imperfection in them I love. But this is one reason it seems strange for me when I go for someone like Gordon and Skinner, who don't seem to think they're the center of the universe and in fact know they're not and trudge on nose to the grindstone doing the job anyway.