![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hahaha fandom.
So, I was going through some old files, and I found comments I pulled from the st_xi_kink meme, the Star Trek 2009 kink meme that eventually shut down. These comments were the ones that I felt best represented the spirit and . . . general integrity of the meme. They were all made anonymously.
If you've ever wondered what a kink meme is, here it is in its absolute distilled uncorrupted form. Just be aware that--well, it is very kinky, by which I mean extremely offensive. As in, extremely offensive; seriously don't read if you want sexual topics that are potentially sensitive or triggery treated with any kind of delicacy, understanding, or respect.
It made me laugh so hard I almost cried, and this is like the fifth time I've read this.
what about if Uhura is a furry and spock thinks its illogical.
For the record, Spock's dick is the embodiment of sound logic.
How? Who cares how. Jareth's a goddamn wizard, he could do whatever he wants.
Spock and Kirk as centaurs (due to a mission on a distant planet).
We've had Naruto, Harry Potter, Pokemon, Teletubbies, all the normal crossover stuff, but no Matrix crossover. What the hell?
He's such a slut he got knocked up when he was ten years old.
I NEED SOMETHING MADE OUT OF JUST PURE HAPPINESS AND GIGGLES
Spock is secretly part of Team Galactic.
it would be great if jim dies un loved.
SAREK, you guys!
I hope you don't mind gruesome torture, because I am on this like the FIST OF GOD.
More Captain cock, lol.
Like mirror verse McCoy stabbing Sulu and fucking the stab wound.
I've never wanted to read necro but I want someone to write this. Just so I can see if I get turned on or not.
My sperm saved the world from hostile machine/military take over.
I would read this so hard that it would whimper and beg me to be gentle.
'Stap' is a typo but if anon could make it some new fangled strap on that does something extra nice it would be awesome. KTHNX.
Jim laps a little of the cum up with his thumb and rubs it into Bones' forhead while whispering "simba" like in the movie.
Spock goes back in time and rapes Jim's father. Then in the st xi timeline spocks dad rapes checkov, so mirror verse sulu rapes jim.
It's a circle of raaaaaaaaaaape, and it hurts us aaaaaaaaaaaall...
Still reeling from the Lion King prompt up there, aren't you?
Rapeverse is rapey!
Instead of Christopher Pike, the Enterprise was originally captained by Christopher Walken.
I want a Chekov gangbang. That's not original, I know, but I want a Chekov gangbang where Chekov is drugged.
MOAR MASTURBATIONS.
How about a story with blood as lube. Preferably Neros blood.
Ok what if Kirk got turned into a werehorse? Mccoy is an equestrian after all.
Spock's hat is knocked slightly askew and they're breathing hard and Jim is really flushed and Spock is whispering naughty punishments into Jim'searsandSEX!!!
THE INTERNET IS OVER. EVERYBODY GO HOME.
I guess the mittens will make Spock feel pretty.
I've seen a ton of requests where Spock gets raped by childhood bully #1 and gets pregnant. But it seems that we're being a little unfair to Kirk. Why can't he have a teenage sexual assault-baby?
I would read this like I was starving and it was a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
I don't specifically support them in general.
I can haz Spock with girls parts inside?
Calvinist porn is calvinist.
And by brain, do you mean penis?
Dinosaur planet. I need it.
I love secretly-a-centaur fics!
CAN I LIVE INSIDE YOUR DREAMS?
I’ll be in my bunk. FOR SCIENCE.
Summer Glau makes everyone on the Enterprise into her bitchwhore.
I don't know why. I don't know how. But two crewmembers must salsa dance IN ORDER TO LIVE.
Anon, you and me need to make some sex.
Sulu is getting offended and, ok he admits it, kinda sad and mopey that Chekov has not friended him back on Spacebook.
Someone bring the Sarek rapefest!
Kirk orders Spock and McCoy to 'learn to place nice'. They do this by having sex.
Bill Cosby on board the Enterprise. Spock just doesn't get jello pudding pops.
IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG SINCE SOMETHING WAS BEAMED UP KIRK'S ARSE. RECTIFY, PLEASE.
Tentacle sex is a religious experience.
Goldychekov and the three cocks.
I need me some Bones getting nicely fucked by a fireplace.
This irritates people, until someone shuts him up. With their genitalia.
I WANT THIS FIC MORE THAN I WANT WORLD PEACE.
This turns into love!sex (as opposed to hatesex).
Kirk and Spock bake a cake together. Then they have sex.
Trying to understand the math of porn? Simple: if you think of it, it exists. If it does not exist, it will be made.
You are on the best drugs and I request that you share them.
Same old blah blah blah they invite Chekov into their wonderful little sexings.
Haahahah tentacles ILU.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
…which leads to said native acting accordingly, by either trying to eat Kirk's face off or trying to eat Kirk's face off (oh ho ho, see what I did there?)
Sex-u-al.... HEALING BAAABEH . . . Bonus points if Sulu remains mostly clothed throughout the whole event.
So would the fireplace technically be a transformer then?
OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO FILL THIS REQUEST BEFORE THE UNIVERSE EXPLODES OH MY GOD FILL THIS SHIT QUICK
OOPS DID I SAY HOUR, I MEANT WEEK SILLY ME.
Someone do the motherfucking waffle prompt.
I'm such a lolgeek for Twilight. It is ridiculous and stupid and badly written and OMG SPARKLESSSSSSS.
Aliens made them do it.
on it like spandex on someone you'd actually want to see spandex on. not overweight middle aged joggers. think chris pine + latex. that is how i am on this prompt.
OH MY GOD. HOW IS THIS ANON NOT ME.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Uhura is so fierce.
C'mon, a boarding school IN SPACE! How can that not be awesome.
THIS. THIS ABOVE ALL THINGS. ABOVE ALL THINGS, THIS.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Kirk really enjoys the aesthetic of Spock's amazingly green erection.
I'm BURIED under ROMULANS right now.
Even zombies think Chekov has the cutest brains.
Because it's not rape if you yell 'Surprise!'
this could be legen
wait for it
dary.
Is her vagina a black hole of competency?
01001001 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000101 01101110 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110000 01110010 01101001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100101 01100100 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101110 01110100
I DIED. I DIED ALL UP IN HERE. A+++++ WOULD DIE AGAIN.
He gasped and fucked the cupcake faster.
Don't fail me, Anon! Shatner and Nimoy want you to do it!
RAHM MOTHERFUCKING EMANUEL ON THE ENTERPRISE.
*pets convenient aliens lovingly*
...c'mon! Its space! There has to be some tentacles out there wanting some human ass.
BRB DYING OF LOL AND OHSHIT THATS THE BEST THING EVER AND AGH IM CHOKING ON A CHIP RIGHT NOW
Kirk and the Vulcan Dildo: no wait hear me out!
Aliens made them do it.
Are you a Vulcan or a Vulcan't?
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Kirk in a wedding dress. I don't care how you do it, I know only that it must be done.
WHY ARE YOU SO MADE OF AWESOME, ANON? WHY.
Chekov's a runner.
Kirk probably works out.
You know what this means?
SHOWER SEX. At ze gym.
Vulcan baseball.
Yes, it exists now.
Aliens made them do it... on the bridge, in front of everyone.
Someone needs to get this shit DONE.
"JUST FUCKING EAT IT!!!!!" FOOD!NON-CON
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE AN UPSIDE-DOWN KISS, PLEASE. Spider-Man style! They're in space, it could be in zero-g!
Your father filled this prompt for 800 people! I DARE you to do better!
More Pon Farr! It's a gift that just keeps giving!
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
I seek the sex funtimes.
I WANT THIS PROMPT IN MY PANTS.
Anon. Ilu. Like no other.
Go back to 2009 through ~SCIENCE!~
Aliens made them do it.
Vulcan semen is purple, and stains... even skin.
Stephen Colbert needs to get on board the Enterprise immediately.
But what is this request, really? A request to get RAHM FUCKING EMANUEL to interact with these GQ motherfuckers. Massive bonus points if Rahm takes Jim aside and is like "Listen, don't fuck this up or I'll fuck you. I'll kill you. Okay I love you bye."
I have just regained some trust in stories written by 5 year olds now.
Chekov seduces Scotty with the line, "Ream me up, Scotty."
THAT IS SO SWEET. I NOW HAVE SPACE DIABEETUS.
The premise of "warp" speed in "real" theoretical physics involves creating a warp in the spacetime surrounding an object (like a ship) and thereby moving space around the object.
SPACE HARLOTS.
Spock and his sehlat spending some private fun time together. As in Spock getting fucked raw by the sehlat.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Kirk nearly gets buttraped. Or married in some Sexy Alien Ceremony. Or something.
Hold your head high, furry or no.
My captcha was SenateMajority Khans.
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.
Aliens made them do it.
Would be nice to see Chekov asking for sex by saying he's ready to be impregnated.
I wish to subscribe to your mind.
RAHM EMANUEL/MIRROR!SPOCK. I don't even know. I just really, REALLY want it.
Okay, let's stop with having Chekov being raped by his superiors...Because Sulu's just as cute and deserves some dubious-consent ass-pounding from Kirk and/or Spock and/or McCoy, too.
BATMAN VS. SPOCK.
There are no barbers in space.
More importantly: will McCoy be fucking him in the vagina?
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Ok, let's do this thing right. Star Trek/Twilight crossover.
KIRK/CAPTCHA, PLZ. With Captcha shouting random two-word things during sex.
Spike's kind of gotten tired of life on Earth... so he joined Starfleet.
I....will be in my bunker. [sic]
idgaf i am a terrible person i am from harry potter fandom stop judging me.
I second this 300%.
I've seen Sirius/Harry pedophilic bestiality . . . but was one of the participants dead?
brb GOING TO HELL FOREVER
Spock decides to steal Christmas because he deems it illogical.
Okay guys, I require me some Mcgangbang goodness.
Yes, it exists now.
PLEASE anon. I need this more than a squid needs water!
To further the cause of science, Spock needs to determine the maximum threshold of orgasms achievable in a given lapse of time.
Everyone knows that the USS Everyone's Gay is a total sausage fest. How do we fix that? GENDERSWAP ORGY.
Spock = a colder, more badass (is this even possible?) Rahm Emmanuel? Y/N?
If I didn't fail so hard at rhyming couplets, I would write this prompt yesterday.
I WILL JUDGE YOU. I WILL JUDGE YOU TO BE AWESOME. Seriously, I'd read it.
I would like to second, third, fourth, and lick this prompt.
Kirk is secretly an obnoxious sparkly vampire. McCoy is his own personal brand of heroin.
Chekov turns eighteen. (*molest molest molest*)
And then possibly there is some sex.
They gift us with the freedom to fuck around wildly without feelin' (for my part) like I'm raping Jesus or something.
I would read the shit out of that.
I would like a reservation to YOUR MIND!
Man, this is the worst KINK meme ever. We keep going WRITE ME EPIC AU'S PLEASE. OH AND SOME SEX IS NICE TOO I GUESS. I love it ahahaha.
Have you ever been touched by a tentacle, Doctor McCoy? It is a most fascinating sensation.
MY ENGLISH IS CRAPPY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M ASKING THIS USING CAPSLOCK. BUT DO IT.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
I would give my left tit for Bones dressed up like a cowboy.
Bones got bitten and turned into a vampire which is the real reason his wife divorces him. He decides to join Starfleet because there is there is no sun in space.
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING LACK OF LOGIC ON MY MOTHERFUCKING STARSHIP.
Enterprise/the laws of physics. Epic hatesex.
Sex eventually ensues with character A creating lube on the spot using nothing but a stray tribble and some chewing gum (idk) … You guys I am kind of stoned right now.
Yes, The motherfucking Parent Trap!
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Brb JIZZING IN MY PANTS.
Seconded with the fury of a thousand khan-yells.
Let's get morally gray up in here.
Scotty wins Chekov in poker.
I feel like I've been running around this meme for days writing "MORE SHATNER" but seriously, you guys. You guys, seriously. MORE SHATNER.
Kirk/Chekov which Chekov being totally "vtf, I kent believe I'm having the sex with the Keptin!", and Kirk being hideously drunk and calling out Spock's name.
God I hope someone nabs this one because mmm mmm "Live long and prosper you bunch of fuckers" Spock.
PLEASE DO IT SO I DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE SERIOUSLY I'M GOING TO GET BEAT UP ENOUGH IN GYM CLASS AS IT IS.
Spock, don't you want some icecream?
I'm a pervert not a plotter, damn it!
His action figure comes with medical equipment, not a bottle of booze!
Transporter accident, natch.
But please, make it synthetic leather. Think of the Vulcans.
SET PHASERS TO STONED. I don't care how.
...and dragons are also a plus, but mostly the unicorns.
Crazy. Alien. Sex.
Go kink meme go!
PUT THEM ON AN AWESOME RAVE PLANET(oh god I wish there was a rave planet).
Please, Anon, fill my hole!
Aw, poor lil' stray comment. You got lost? Where do you live? Would you like a candy? Just come with me to that van over there...
Eventually, Spock figures out what's happening and teaches Kirk a lesson. A very sexy lesson.
ANON I GIVE YOU MY HEART. ONLY NO CAUSE I NEED IT TO LIVE.
What would James T. Kirk do for a Klondike Bar? Hopefully he would eat out Spock's girlfriend right in front of him!
Can their friendship survive? Could they be any hotter? Will this prompt ever end?
I NEED THIS LIKE EXOTHERMICITY.
Why yes, I would like to make my reservations for special hell.
And you know Scotty is a BAMF pimp. He originally got into it just for the rad hat but now he's a god damn bitch master.
I don't think I can handle any more Science, Mr Spock!
YOU DID NOT JUST JOIN MY TWO LOVES TOGETHER IN HOLY MATRIMONY.
Spock's sexy flowcharts. You know you want to.
Totally consensual. (Not that I'm against tentacle rape...)
THIS IS AMAZING AND IF IT IS NOT CONTINUED I MIGHT EAT A BABY IN MY DESPAIR, OMG, JUST A HEADS UP THERE
Uhura gets Kirk pregnant.
We need this, come on fandom, just do it.
And Simon Cowell dies.
This of course results in sex.
SECONDED. WITH FIRE.
I would love to read knitting porn! I just read Kirk/Spock tree/Spock, so Knitting/Spock sounds really logical right now.
. . . and ends up molesting Girl!kirk on accident.
A race of intergalactic space ninjas. They are actually sex assassins. But. Kirk outsexes them.
SECONDED SO HARD I'M PRETTY SURE I'M ITS BITCH.
Someone nailing Chekov through the butt flap in his footie pajamas.
... are they rocket print footie pajamas?
Because Lolita was a Russian inwention.
...Let's just hope there's an internet connection in hell.
I love prompts that come with their own color-coded diagrams!
Captcha wants, "nude nation", club? band name? slave market?
...Did you just reference Rugrats in a prompt calling for non-con?
I want your CHILDREN for this fic! I mean, to bear, not like "give me your kids nom" because that would be weird. Umm... Nevermind, it got weird.
If you've ever wondered what a kink meme is, here it is in its absolute distilled uncorrupted form. Just be aware that--well, it is very kinky, by which I mean extremely offensive. As in, extremely offensive; seriously don't read if you want sexual topics that are potentially sensitive or triggery treated with any kind of delicacy, understanding, or respect.
It made me laugh so hard I almost cried, and this is like the fifth time I've read this.
what about if Uhura is a furry and spock thinks its illogical.
For the record, Spock's dick is the embodiment of sound logic.
How? Who cares how. Jareth's a goddamn wizard, he could do whatever he wants.
Spock and Kirk as centaurs (due to a mission on a distant planet).
We've had Naruto, Harry Potter, Pokemon, Teletubbies, all the normal crossover stuff, but no Matrix crossover. What the hell?
He's such a slut he got knocked up when he was ten years old.
I NEED SOMETHING MADE OUT OF JUST PURE HAPPINESS AND GIGGLES
Spock is secretly part of Team Galactic.
it would be great if jim dies un loved.
SAREK, you guys!
I hope you don't mind gruesome torture, because I am on this like the FIST OF GOD.
More Captain cock, lol.
Like mirror verse McCoy stabbing Sulu and fucking the stab wound.
I've never wanted to read necro but I want someone to write this. Just so I can see if I get turned on or not.
My sperm saved the world from hostile machine/military take over.
I would read this so hard that it would whimper and beg me to be gentle.
'Stap' is a typo but if anon could make it some new fangled strap on that does something extra nice it would be awesome. KTHNX.
Jim laps a little of the cum up with his thumb and rubs it into Bones' forhead while whispering "simba" like in the movie.
Spock goes back in time and rapes Jim's father. Then in the st xi timeline spocks dad rapes checkov, so mirror verse sulu rapes jim.
It's a circle of raaaaaaaaaaape, and it hurts us aaaaaaaaaaaall...
Still reeling from the Lion King prompt up there, aren't you?
Rapeverse is rapey!
Instead of Christopher Pike, the Enterprise was originally captained by Christopher Walken.
I want a Chekov gangbang. That's not original, I know, but I want a Chekov gangbang where Chekov is drugged.
MOAR MASTURBATIONS.
How about a story with blood as lube. Preferably Neros blood.
Ok what if Kirk got turned into a werehorse? Mccoy is an equestrian after all.
Spock's hat is knocked slightly askew and they're breathing hard and Jim is really flushed and Spock is whispering naughty punishments into Jim'searsandSEX!!!
THE INTERNET IS OVER. EVERYBODY GO HOME.
I guess the mittens will make Spock feel pretty.
I've seen a ton of requests where Spock gets raped by childhood bully #1 and gets pregnant. But it seems that we're being a little unfair to Kirk. Why can't he have a teenage sexual assault-baby?
I would read this like I was starving and it was a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
I don't specifically support them in general.
I can haz Spock with girls parts inside?
Calvinist porn is calvinist.
And by brain, do you mean penis?
Dinosaur planet. I need it.
I love secretly-a-centaur fics!
CAN I LIVE INSIDE YOUR DREAMS?
I’ll be in my bunk. FOR SCIENCE.
Summer Glau makes everyone on the Enterprise into her bitchwhore.
I don't know why. I don't know how. But two crewmembers must salsa dance IN ORDER TO LIVE.
Anon, you and me need to make some sex.
Sulu is getting offended and, ok he admits it, kinda sad and mopey that Chekov has not friended him back on Spacebook.
Someone bring the Sarek rapefest!
Kirk orders Spock and McCoy to 'learn to place nice'. They do this by having sex.
Bill Cosby on board the Enterprise. Spock just doesn't get jello pudding pops.
IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG SINCE SOMETHING WAS BEAMED UP KIRK'S ARSE. RECTIFY, PLEASE.
Tentacle sex is a religious experience.
Goldychekov and the three cocks.
I need me some Bones getting nicely fucked by a fireplace.
This irritates people, until someone shuts him up. With their genitalia.
I WANT THIS FIC MORE THAN I WANT WORLD PEACE.
This turns into love!sex (as opposed to hatesex).
Kirk and Spock bake a cake together. Then they have sex.
Trying to understand the math of porn? Simple: if you think of it, it exists. If it does not exist, it will be made.
You are on the best drugs and I request that you share them.
Same old blah blah blah they invite Chekov into their wonderful little sexings.
Haahahah tentacles ILU.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
…which leads to said native acting accordingly, by either trying to eat Kirk's face off or trying to eat Kirk's face off (oh ho ho, see what I did there?)
Sex-u-al.... HEALING BAAABEH . . . Bonus points if Sulu remains mostly clothed throughout the whole event.
So would the fireplace technically be a transformer then?
OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO FILL THIS REQUEST BEFORE THE UNIVERSE EXPLODES OH MY GOD FILL THIS SHIT QUICK
OOPS DID I SAY HOUR, I MEANT WEEK SILLY ME.
Someone do the motherfucking waffle prompt.
I'm such a lolgeek for Twilight. It is ridiculous and stupid and badly written and OMG SPARKLESSSSSSS.
Aliens made them do it.
on it like spandex on someone you'd actually want to see spandex on. not overweight middle aged joggers. think chris pine + latex. that is how i am on this prompt.
OH MY GOD. HOW IS THIS ANON NOT ME.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Uhura is so fierce.
C'mon, a boarding school IN SPACE! How can that not be awesome.
THIS. THIS ABOVE ALL THINGS. ABOVE ALL THINGS, THIS.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Kirk really enjoys the aesthetic of Spock's amazingly green erection.
I'm BURIED under ROMULANS right now.
Even zombies think Chekov has the cutest brains.
Because it's not rape if you yell 'Surprise!'
this could be legen
wait for it
dary.
Is her vagina a black hole of competency?
01001001 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000101 01101110 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110000 01110010 01101001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100101 01100100 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101110 01110100
I DIED. I DIED ALL UP IN HERE. A+++++ WOULD DIE AGAIN.
He gasped and fucked the cupcake faster.
Don't fail me, Anon! Shatner and Nimoy want you to do it!
RAHM MOTHERFUCKING EMANUEL ON THE ENTERPRISE.
*pets convenient aliens lovingly*
...c'mon! Its space! There has to be some tentacles out there wanting some human ass.
BRB DYING OF LOL AND OHSHIT THATS THE BEST THING EVER AND AGH IM CHOKING ON A CHIP RIGHT NOW
Kirk and the Vulcan Dildo: no wait hear me out!
Aliens made them do it.
Are you a Vulcan or a Vulcan't?
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Kirk in a wedding dress. I don't care how you do it, I know only that it must be done.
WHY ARE YOU SO MADE OF AWESOME, ANON? WHY.
Chekov's a runner.
Kirk probably works out.
You know what this means?
SHOWER SEX. At ze gym.
Vulcan baseball.
Yes, it exists now.
Aliens made them do it... on the bridge, in front of everyone.
Someone needs to get this shit DONE.
"JUST FUCKING EAT IT!!!!!" FOOD!NON-CON
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE AN UPSIDE-DOWN KISS, PLEASE. Spider-Man style! They're in space, it could be in zero-g!
Your father filled this prompt for 800 people! I DARE you to do better!
More Pon Farr! It's a gift that just keeps giving!
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
I seek the sex funtimes.
I WANT THIS PROMPT IN MY PANTS.
Anon. Ilu. Like no other.
Go back to 2009 through ~SCIENCE!~
Aliens made them do it.
Vulcan semen is purple, and stains... even skin.
Stephen Colbert needs to get on board the Enterprise immediately.
But what is this request, really? A request to get RAHM FUCKING EMANUEL to interact with these GQ motherfuckers. Massive bonus points if Rahm takes Jim aside and is like "Listen, don't fuck this up or I'll fuck you. I'll kill you. Okay I love you bye."
I have just regained some trust in stories written by 5 year olds now.
Chekov seduces Scotty with the line, "Ream me up, Scotty."
THAT IS SO SWEET. I NOW HAVE SPACE DIABEETUS.
The premise of "warp" speed in "real" theoretical physics involves creating a warp in the spacetime surrounding an object (like a ship) and thereby moving space around the object.
SPACE HARLOTS.
Spock and his sehlat spending some private fun time together. As in Spock getting fucked raw by the sehlat.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Kirk nearly gets buttraped. Or married in some Sexy Alien Ceremony. Or something.
Hold your head high, furry or no.
My captcha was SenateMajority Khans.
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.
Aliens made them do it.
Would be nice to see Chekov asking for sex by saying he's ready to be impregnated.
I wish to subscribe to your mind.
RAHM EMANUEL/MIRROR!SPOCK. I don't even know. I just really, REALLY want it.
Okay, let's stop with having Chekov being raped by his superiors...Because Sulu's just as cute and deserves some dubious-consent ass-pounding from Kirk and/or Spock and/or McCoy, too.
BATMAN VS. SPOCK.
There are no barbers in space.
More importantly: will McCoy be fucking him in the vagina?
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Ok, let's do this thing right. Star Trek/Twilight crossover.
KIRK/CAPTCHA, PLZ. With Captcha shouting random two-word things during sex.
Spike's kind of gotten tired of life on Earth... so he joined Starfleet.
I....will be in my bunker. [sic]
idgaf i am a terrible person i am from harry potter fandom stop judging me.
I second this 300%.
I've seen Sirius/Harry pedophilic bestiality . . . but was one of the participants dead?
brb GOING TO HELL FOREVER
Spock decides to steal Christmas because he deems it illogical.
Okay guys, I require me some Mcgangbang goodness.
Yes, it exists now.
PLEASE anon. I need this more than a squid needs water!
To further the cause of science, Spock needs to determine the maximum threshold of orgasms achievable in a given lapse of time.
Everyone knows that the USS Everyone's Gay is a total sausage fest. How do we fix that? GENDERSWAP ORGY.
Spock = a colder, more badass (is this even possible?) Rahm Emmanuel? Y/N?
If I didn't fail so hard at rhyming couplets, I would write this prompt yesterday.
I WILL JUDGE YOU. I WILL JUDGE YOU TO BE AWESOME. Seriously, I'd read it.
I would like to second, third, fourth, and lick this prompt.
Kirk is secretly an obnoxious sparkly vampire. McCoy is his own personal brand of heroin.
Chekov turns eighteen. (*molest molest molest*)
And then possibly there is some sex.
They gift us with the freedom to fuck around wildly without feelin' (for my part) like I'm raping Jesus or something.
I would read the shit out of that.
I would like a reservation to YOUR MIND!
Man, this is the worst KINK meme ever. We keep going WRITE ME EPIC AU'S PLEASE. OH AND SOME SEX IS NICE TOO I GUESS. I love it ahahaha.
Have you ever been touched by a tentacle, Doctor McCoy? It is a most fascinating sensation.
MY ENGLISH IS CRAPPY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M ASKING THIS USING CAPSLOCK. BUT DO IT.
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
I would give my left tit for Bones dressed up like a cowboy.
Bones got bitten and turned into a vampire which is the real reason his wife divorces him. He decides to join Starfleet because there is there is no sun in space.
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING LACK OF LOGIC ON MY MOTHERFUCKING STARSHIP.
Enterprise/the laws of physics. Epic hatesex.
Sex eventually ensues with character A creating lube on the spot using nothing but a stray tribble and some chewing gum (idk) … You guys I am kind of stoned right now.
Yes, The motherfucking Parent Trap!
Sex pollen on the Enterprise!
Brb JIZZING IN MY PANTS.
Seconded with the fury of a thousand khan-yells.
Let's get morally gray up in here.
Scotty wins Chekov in poker.
I feel like I've been running around this meme for days writing "MORE SHATNER" but seriously, you guys. You guys, seriously. MORE SHATNER.
Kirk/Chekov which Chekov being totally "vtf, I kent believe I'm having the sex with the Keptin!", and Kirk being hideously drunk and calling out Spock's name.
God I hope someone nabs this one because mmm mmm "Live long and prosper you bunch of fuckers" Spock.
PLEASE DO IT SO I DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE SERIOUSLY I'M GOING TO GET BEAT UP ENOUGH IN GYM CLASS AS IT IS.
Spock, don't you want some icecream?
I'm a pervert not a plotter, damn it!
His action figure comes with medical equipment, not a bottle of booze!
Transporter accident, natch.
But please, make it synthetic leather. Think of the Vulcans.
SET PHASERS TO STONED. I don't care how.
...and dragons are also a plus, but mostly the unicorns.
Crazy. Alien. Sex.
Go kink meme go!
PUT THEM ON AN AWESOME RAVE PLANET(oh god I wish there was a rave planet).
Please, Anon, fill my hole!
Aw, poor lil' stray comment. You got lost? Where do you live? Would you like a candy? Just come with me to that van over there...
Eventually, Spock figures out what's happening and teaches Kirk a lesson. A very sexy lesson.
ANON I GIVE YOU MY HEART. ONLY NO CAUSE I NEED IT TO LIVE.
What would James T. Kirk do for a Klondike Bar? Hopefully he would eat out Spock's girlfriend right in front of him!
Can their friendship survive? Could they be any hotter? Will this prompt ever end?
I NEED THIS LIKE EXOTHERMICITY.
Why yes, I would like to make my reservations for special hell.
And you know Scotty is a BAMF pimp. He originally got into it just for the rad hat but now he's a god damn bitch master.
I don't think I can handle any more Science, Mr Spock!
YOU DID NOT JUST JOIN MY TWO LOVES TOGETHER IN HOLY MATRIMONY.
Spock's sexy flowcharts. You know you want to.
Totally consensual. (Not that I'm against tentacle rape...)
THIS IS AMAZING AND IF IT IS NOT CONTINUED I MIGHT EAT A BABY IN MY DESPAIR, OMG, JUST A HEADS UP THERE
Uhura gets Kirk pregnant.
We need this, come on fandom, just do it.
And Simon Cowell dies.
This of course results in sex.
SECONDED. WITH FIRE.
I would love to read knitting porn! I just read Kirk/Spock tree/Spock, so Knitting/Spock sounds really logical right now.
. . . and ends up molesting Girl!kirk on accident.
A race of intergalactic space ninjas. They are actually sex assassins. But. Kirk outsexes them.
SECONDED SO HARD I'M PRETTY SURE I'M ITS BITCH.
Someone nailing Chekov through the butt flap in his footie pajamas.
... are they rocket print footie pajamas?
Because Lolita was a Russian inwention.
...Let's just hope there's an internet connection in hell.
I love prompts that come with their own color-coded diagrams!
Captcha wants, "nude nation", club? band name? slave market?
...Did you just reference Rugrats in a prompt calling for non-con?
I want your CHILDREN for this fic! I mean, to bear, not like "give me your kids nom" because that would be weird. Umm... Nevermind, it got weird.
no subject
I first read this as the 'by'-of-performative-action rather than the 'by'-of-location. Strangely, it didn't faze me much. If any fandom could have sentient motile horny fireplaces, it would probably be Trek.