Real Life Tales in La Vie De TKP!

[lettered]

1. So my mom's seen all of BtVS. But we're watching it a second time. And in S5 "Blood Ties", you know that scene where Dawn goes to Ben and tells him she's the Key, then Ben changes into Glory? TKMOM: OMG, Ben is Glory?
TKme: Yeah, Glory is in Ben's body.
TKMom: You mean Ben is in Glory's body?
TKme: Yeah, Glory is Ben.
TKMom: So. Glory and Ben.
TKme: Are the same person.
TKMom: Glory and Ben are the same person?

I KID YOU NOT.

2. So I'm writing smut, slashy porn type smut, with things I don't believe I've typed before and god, did I even know Angel was that raunchy, and all the sudden there's a knock on my door. So I open it up and hear, "Hello. Have you let Jesus Christ into your life today?" All I could think was Angel does feel very close to Jesus right now, yes he does. "Have you had a chance to study the Book of Mormon, the Testament of Jesus Christ?" I'm spending my quality time studying porn, thank you.

I've actually never had missionaries come to my house before, and would've really liked to've chatter with them and perhaps offer them tea, but I was so embarrassed I said no and shut the door. And I think they thought I was laughing at them, which made me really ashamed of myself. Then I went back to studying porn.

3. So (all stories start with so, apparently) I just watched The Gift. I forgot how Spike cries at the end. Then I went downstairs and there was this little rabbit the size of a hamster sitting on the stoop just outside the front door, munching on little green leaf planty things. And it felt very ironic to watch Buffy die and then see this bitty baby bunny live.

4. So Friday my brother calls to ask when my mom is coming to Michigan so he knows when to go up to see her, and my mother says she's going Tuesday, and I'm going with her. I'd been thinking about going again to see my brother and also just because I can, and that jazz, but this was so very sudden. But hey it's free, so I'm there. Since I'm going to be gone longer this time I'm going to be dropping by an internet cafe every couple days just to see what's up, but I'll be less available. But I'll be there if you want to get in contact with me, and I will also fly about randomly commenting. But anyway, toodles!

Comments

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

LMAO.

One of the Jinnie fic has a stripper in it named Tiara. Does that count?

If I had photoshop I'd put a tiara on his head just to make you happy. God knows he already wears enough lipstick. Hee. Pretty boy.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

And then promptly take her to an animal shelter to get cleaned up and neutered, so that when your grandmother has tail sex with your cat again there ain't no cat!preg monstronsities running around giving birth to none other than ...your mom.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

My mother is a beautiful, if not hairy, woman. She sprays in your general direction and makes a loud yowling sound.

Does this mean you shagged my underpant wearing cat!preg monstrositie grandmother? I'm losing track on whose boinking what freaky inappropriate thing.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Dude! Now all he needs is a--oh wait, he already has his scepter.

God knows he already wears enough lipstick.

But aren't his lips naturally freakishly red? Because they don't do that weird flourescent pink thing and back again like so many of the other male cast members, but they're always really really blushy, like he just--um. Had a lollypop?

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I did indeed shag your underpant wearing cat!preg monstrosity of a grandmother.

But your father smells of elderberries.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

"Had a lollypop"

Yea. Angel's.

Can you see Hell from here? It's so shiny.

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

It was probably a hare if it was that small. Rabbits are born without fur, with their eyes shut, and drink their mom's milk. Hares on the other hand are born ready to hop around and munch on greens, fur and all.

I once explained to some Mormons that I was a pagan, and they had no idea what a pagan was.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

And a blood thirsty attack bunny farts in your general direction!

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

GO TO BED YOU WAFFLEHEAD.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

But we have such beautiful wingéd children. Who perch so prettily on Connor's cock.

Also, if you ever mention Snyder/Connor again I will throw up right through the holes of your cats' clothes you're darning, right onto your foot.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

OMG I WAS WATCHING LUKE AND LAURA VIDS!!!!!!!

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

I was going to comment on the actual content of this post, but then you started talking about Connor as a princess and I started imagining him gathering berries in the forest, careful don't get your gown caught in the thorns! and a hunter passes by and sees Connor and stops and stands there with the deerksin things, those pants things, but tighter fuckit I don't read enough Romance Novels and with the beard and with the bow and arrows in the quiver and speaking of, there's quivering when the hunter presses Princess Connor up against a tree and kisses him and you think I'm joking but I am crying with the beauty of it.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

He ate Angel's lollypop? That sounds childish.

Oh and of course, very wrong.

It actually looks kinda schlongy. All those tall buildings, and apparently, everything must be related back to the phallus.

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

*FACEPALM*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Buckskin breeches, you mean?

I would never accuse you of joking about something so moving. Can Connor be singing a soft tune to the birdies? And can Connor feel something hard when the hunter presses against him, and realize it's the hunter's staff? No really, his long staff, because the hunter has to turn around and defend him from the forest dragon, which is red-eyed and emerald plated, and once the hunter is covered in sweat and specks of blood, which of course Connor doesn't like to see, Connor kneels in front of a unicorn and proves his purity by the unicorn eating out of his hand, omg?

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Huh. We don't get too many hares around here, but we do get loads of bunnies. But it really was the size of a hamster or a rat. Looked just like a rat, actually, but with long straight up ears. Hare or not, he was so cute!

I'm kind of agnostic, sort of, but I like to hear about other people's religions. But I would've been sad if they'd eventually disclosed they weren't even educated enough to know what a pagan was.

My pagan s-i-l dated a Mormon before she moved on to my brother. How weird is that?

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

Marry me.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Ares! Oh hi! HI!!! I'm so glad you got an lj. I'm a bad emailer person, I am. How ARE you? I friended you right back! Of course it's ok! And if you have any questions, I'm sure all the nice people you already have friended can help, but I'm here too.

The porn is in the novel-length fic. It's B/A but it kinda wanders around toward the end. Thanks so much for wanting to read it, and the nice compliment :o)

These were very polite missionaries. I told them I wasn't interested; they tried again; I washed rinsed and repeated, they gave me a flier and went. Could be they a. read my dirty, dirty thoughts, still with the porny fic on my computer, or b. they thought I was a terrible person anyway because I kept laughing at everything they said, just because I was so embarrassed by my thoughts.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid Kita might kill me, but okay.

[ares132006.livejournal.com]

Oh hi! HI!!! I'm so glad you got an lj. I'm a bad emailer person, I am. How ARE you? I friended you right back! Of course it's ok! And if you have any questions, I'm sure all the nice people you already have friended can help, but I'm here too.

You are totally forgiven about the email thing. Cause, babe, you are writing!!! And we can't get in the way of that, can we?. Thank you for your kind offer, DS pushed me into this, but Renee started me on the road last year. I still don't know what I am doing, but I'm muddling along and have a couple of people just as clueless to keep me company. :~))

The porn is in the novel-length fic. It's B/A but it kinda wanders around toward the end. Thanks so much for wanting to read it, and the nice compliment

Woohoo!!! 150,000 words, and porn! As long as Angel gets lots of lovin', cause I never get tired of reading that!

Could be they a. read my dirty, dirty thoughts, still with the porny fic on my computer, or b. they thought I was a terrible person anyway because I kept laughing at everything they said, just because I was so embarrassed by my thoughts.

I'm sure they read your thoughts...*g* It must have been written on your face or was it the beads of sweat on your brow and the leer that gave it away. *snigger*

Keep at it sweets. We live for your words.
Hugs

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

Dude, I love that. People who don't remember the endings or effects, it's like they get to see the thing for the first time every time! Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean. The resonance hits them differently, and that's damn cool.

PORN! I know from skimming other comments that it's a part of the larger whole, but still! This is exciting. The world needs good porn.

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

I was skimming comments, and saw "Connor is an architect" and thought, okay, sure, makes as much sense as anything else. But then:

Connor is all about building things, not destroying anymore. It's like his penance.

Wow, that really works for me.

It's bad it makes me want to write Connor-the-architect/Xander-the-foreman slash, right? I mean, I know you're not so into the Xander part of it, but I'm all, ARCHITECT/FOREMAN, OTP!

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

Nooooooooo!
You only just got back for goodness sake!

[semby.livejournal.com]

Hee! You make me want to try to make my mom watch. I don't think I'd have such amusing results though.

Have lots of fun in Michigan!

[astridv.livejournal.com]

1. cracked me up.

So, is the Angel/Spike part of your 150.000 word epos you told about the other day? I was meaning to comment on this because it sounds yummy, but then charlottelennox came and stole my brain.