Dynamics of LJ

[lettered]

JB. I was going to say how much I loved lj's "save draft" thing for posts, but I retract because I lost half the post and apparently it wasn't saved.
O. speaking of lj, is there a way to mark posts on your friends page?  I usually scan the list through to the last entry I read, taking note of the posts with fic, posts I want to read more thoroughly, and posts I want to reply to.  Then sometime later when I feel like it I go back, but then I have to scroll so much and can't find/remember the things that were of particular interest.  I'm a lazy bint who wants a system.
R. speaking of all that I don't know about lj, what's this "skip 20" or "skip 50" people sometimes mention as regards their friends pages?
G. speaking of "friends," that whole thing is distinctly odd.  I mean, it's been said before, but I'll say it again.  But even if the system wasn't called "friends", I think it would still have that weirdness attached to it.  And I myself can't help feeling all weird about it.  I fancy that the way I use the ole flist is objective; I use it as a reading list.  But I'm starting to realize that the way I FEEL about it (and the way I feel about those of others) is still strangely emotional and sensitive, as *logical* as I've always tried to be about it.
E. speaking of that whole weirdness thing, what're y'all's thoughts about filtering the flist posts that you read?  I know some people are way against it.  I suppose others secretly do it.  I personally feel like I would use them--not to completely knock anyone off and secretly not read them, but if I had a list I had trouble keeping up with, I'd probably have a filter for the people I'm most interested in, so if I'm really busy I can fly through very quickly.  Then I'd have a filter for the others to zoom through periodically as well.  Most of the time I'd just go through the whole list, but in really busy times it seems like the filter thing would be handy.  It's not like I need it, though.  I'm just wondering if there're angles of it I haven't considered.  What do you do and how do you do it?
S. speaking of discussions about how you use your lj, I'm also wondering about locked posts.  Some people are against using them.  Some are against using them except for personal matters.  Some seem to use them completely arbitrarily.  Some, I guess, might use them for more...sinister reasons.  And some feel the need to explain every time they flock.  Anyway, I personally see nothing wrong with flocking something you're just not interested in discussing with everyone, either because you're feeling introverted or lazy, but again, I'm wondering if there're other things to consider?  What do you do and how do you do it?

*

I feel the need to point out that this isn't in response to anything--people are always trimming or locking or skipping or what have you.  Actually, it is in response to something.  3 things, actually.

1. imnotacommittee informed me that there's such a thing as a rich text editor for when you post. I had no idea.  Beats the shit out of typing out all that freakin' code, and made me wonder what other little treats lj has I'm too lazy to suss out.
2. I'm going to Austin tomorrow and will be gone for two days.  I'm wondering what'll be up with the ole flist when I get back and how I'll ever manage.
3. Which really just made me wonder how everyone manages, and how all this crap works, and while everyone is always discussing it I'm interested in having stuff to discuss with everyone on my lj when I get back.  Yay!

Look at the color of this text, yay!

P.S. I've discovered I hate the rich text thing.  I've discovered that this post contains massive frippery and the title of the cut is misleading.  It's much more difficult to edit such a thing when one is using this do-hickey.  I throw up my hands I say, I throw up my...ouch, ceiling.  And ew, throw up.

Comments

[spiralleds.livejournal.com]

In regards to R - If you are on your friends page, click on "previous" and then look at the link at the top of your page, you'll see that it says:

http://tkp.livejournal.com/friends?skip=10

Every time you click "previous" you will go back 10 more posts. So if I've been gone for a few days, instead of clicking "previous" multiple times, I'll manually manipulate the link, replacing the 10 with 50 or 100 or 170 or whatever finally gets me back to where I left off.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Oh, awesome! I see. I know that you can actually go change in your settings how many entries the friends page shows, but manipulating that every time according to how much I was going to be around seemed lame.

Also, when people used the phrase "skip 50" or what have you, I assume they meant they were skipping the entries themselves so they didn't have that much to look at whenever they got back from a trip or from being uber busy.

Thanks for clearing that up.

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

I use either Firefox's tabs or del.icio.us to mark the things I want to go back to.

My OCD doesn't allow me to filter (instead I defriend) as I'm paranoid about missing posts.

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

Hee! For a minute there I was trying to figure out what operating system OCD was.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I've been using del.icio.us to mark fics I need to read. It's so handy!

I'm paranoid about missing posts too...I've just come back needing to skip like 500 to read everyone and I'm still telling myself I can do it. OCD indeed!

[alwaysjbj.livejournal.com]

P.S. I've discovered I hate the rich text thing. Don't we all!? There is also a wonderful thing called semagic... here's the link. http://community.livejournal.com/ljwin32_sema/ MUCH better than rich text and it will let you know when your flist is updated as well if you want.

As for filters yes I use them... I have filters set up for when I am in a hurry but i do make sure I go through my WHOLE flist at least once every couple of days.

Have fun while you're away.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you! This is so cool! I would've thought I'd have to pay for something like this!

Yeah, I think that's how I'd use filters if I used them.

And I did have fun, thanks!

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

I lock personal things. The net is too big for me to be comfortable otherwise. What's personal? That, I suppose, is arbitrary.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I was just going to say I rarely post personal things, and then I thought about how some things are kinda personal even though I don't mean them to be, and how it's impossible not to be personal, really, and yet how I try to draw a distinction between personal and non-personal too much in RL too, and how introverted that makes me, really. Which is too say yeah, there're certain things I don't fancy sharing with the whole wide world.

[femmenerd.livejournal.com]

It is odd, the "friends" thing. I find that I have a variety of kinds of "relationships" with people on my flist and that's just fine with me.

There are some people where it's purely a reading list thing--they make icons, vids or fic that I read. Then there's some where it's like a colleague thing--we talk about meta or writing but I don't necessarily know much about their lives. Then there are people who I'm really friends with--who I talk on the phone with or have met in RL, who i exchange emails with, who know about the ups and downs of my life and all the non-fandom stuff. And then there are people somewhere in between.

I'll admit right here and now to using many, many filters both to read my flist and to post and I do this as a result of the variety of kinds of connections that I have on el jay. And when I look at people who have flists MUCH larger than mine I'm quite incredulous at the idea that they don't use filters.

One of the main things I filter my flist for is communities because I can't handle that much spam but I sometimes post on comms (links to fic, etc.) or want to be able to access them easily via my user page so I want to keep them friended. In fact, the only comms I usually have on the flist that I generally look at are the Herald, the Cortex (the Firefly version of the Herald), Metafandom, and Fanthropology. I have Writercon on there now and sometimes I'll have topicals like wildphotos while that was happening or seasonal_spuffy during the posting time.

I admit to getting very confused about the whole friending etiquette thing. When I first started my LJ I used to friend back everyone that friended me but I just can't do that any more and it does feel weird. I can't do it because I don't have time to read that many journals or my head will explode. And there is this kind of producer/reader imbalance that occurs I guess. i.e. I'm a producer of fannish content so some people friend me to read my fic but either have "lurker journals" or mostly just post memes or rambling about their first year at Uni (which is fine and perfectly acceptable way to use your LJ but...) And since I don't lock fic or fandom stuff, my not friending them back won't affect their ability to read that stuff. So yeah, I have a "short flist" filter and a "short short flist" filter for when I have NO time but I want to keep up with the people that I'm really close with, etc.

As for my posting filters, I do that because I don't want to spam people with things they don't want to see and as I said I have a variety of kinds of relationships with people on my flist. I have very short filters for when I'm say freaking the fuck out about personal stuff, and I also have other broader filters for when I'm being "real" but it's not really, really private. I also have various fandom specific filters but I don't use those much really so I don't know why I have them.

Sometimes I also generally flock entries such as all of my discussion of my grad school process because I don't want that stuff to show up in google searches. I also do that if I don't feel like having the post linked for whatever reason, and sometimes that's just because I'm tired and I don't feel like fielding assloads of comments from strangers.

Does all of this make me a bitch? Because it helps me keep sane and tailor my LJ use to a variety of purposes.

[femmenerd.livejournal.com]

And good lord that was long. *head pillow*

[semby.livejournal.com]

O. What I do is Firefox tabs. That does get cluttery, with a tab open for every post of interest, but if you don't mind clutter I find it a good organizational tool. I can open new tabs and let 'em sit for awhile if I don't feel like really reading or responding yet, and close 'em when I'm done, so I know what still needs to be gotten to and can close what's all been done gotten to! It's fab. I love Firefox.
E. Ooh. Well, I don't do it. But I can totally see doing it for manageability, weeding out super-active comms or whatever. I do think it's kinda crummy for people to use them so they don't have to read certain individuals that they don't have the balls to really defriend. Actually, I could kind of understand if you were someone who friendslocks and someone was like "friend me, pleeeeeease! i want into the inner sanctum!!!" and you made it very clear that you didn't really want to read them but that it was okay for them to read, but I don't really see that happening often. So yeah.

2. OMG! I'm like not gonna be running into you much for awhile, I guess. You go and come back, and then the end of this week it's my spring break and I'm gonna be gone for a whole week. Which is a lot more than 2 days, in the land of LJ. But then, last year I was in London, where they have ridiculously long spring breaks, and I was away for 2 weeks and managed just fine. I wasn't quite as involved then, though, so I think I'll be curious about what happens as well...

Pink text, yay! That's magical.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

O. I need to get Firefox. Everyone has said it's better than IE (which of course everyone hates) but no one ever told me why. Now I know! I didn't know it had tabs.

E. Oh, yeah, I never actually thought about using a filter that way--I mean, using it to screen someone you want to defriend but can't. I can't understand why anyone would do that. I'd just defriend 'em if I really thought they were never ever going to say anything interesting.

2. But you're here today and tomorrow, right? I hope you have a good spring break--are you going home? mmmm, home cookin'.

Pink is love.

[stultiloquentia.livejournal.com]

speaking of lj, is there a way to mark posts on your friends page?

I do a quick scroll, tabbing, as I go along, everything I might want to respond to shortly. Firefox is love. I have a bookmark folder for "pending" fic and meta that I don't want sitting on a tab but intend to get back to within a couple days/weeks.

I fancy that the way I use the ole flist is logical; I use it as a reading list. But I'm starting to realize that the way I FEEL about it (and the way I feel about those of others) is still strangely emotional and sensitive, as objective as I've always tried to be about it.

The endless debate. I think calling it a "friends list" does tend to promote a cosier, kinder atmosphere (not guaranteed, natch. hahah.). But though my flist is full of people I admire, there are well under twenty (RL included) with whom I feel any sort of substantial connection. And there are definitely people on there who, if they've noticed me at all, are thinking, "Who the hell is she?"

what're y'all's thoughts about filtering the flist posts that you read?

Complicated. Like every newbie, I think, I initially friended everybody back. I recently started filtering, because the numbers are creeping up, and I'm busy. It makes me feel vaguely dishonest, but, frex, what would I do about the several people I really value, but who spam like crazy? I don't want to chuck them.

I'm also wondering about locked posts

I've only locked a couple times, when I wanted to fume and ask for advice about a potentially identifiable boy. I don't post a lot of intimate airings of my mental state or daily life, period -- my laundry is not for the world to see -- but at the same time, I do love to tell the funny anecdotes about my family, and post pictures at everybody's expense. Comedy is for sharing. I want to teach in a few years, though, so I may at some point decide it prudent to lock the photos and remove all markers that, if you're paying attention over time, indicate where I am and why. A few months ago I asked, out of curiosity, what people knew or guessed about me. Nobody came back with a satellite photo or my SSN.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I do a quick scroll, tabbing, as I go along, everything I might want to respond to shortly. Firefox is love.

Yeah--del.icio.us is great for quick and organized bookmarking, but I usually respond pretty quickly to the posts of interest on the flist so I don't actually want to bookmark them. I need to get Firefox. I didn't know it had tabs. My brother always said it was a better browser--everyone always said it's a better browser than IE--but I never saw why before.

It makes me feel vaguely dishonest

Apparently a lot of people feel this way. I don't get it. I guess because I don't feel like being on someone's flist means that person is reading me...so I have no compunction about not reading some people on my own list some of the time.

I don't post a lot of intimate airings of my mental state or daily life, period -- my laundry is not for the world to see --

Me neither. But I was also going to say I didn't say many personal things at all, and then I realized I do sometimes, and then I realized even the things I think aren't personal at all kind of are. I think I try too hard sometimes to separate my personal/private issues from the world around me, because I don't want to share or worse, because I think other people don't want to know (worse because it makes me feel slightly conformist).

I guess one of my issues is that I feel a connection to almost everyone on my flist through our mutual fannishness, and even the people I consider real "friends" on lj are people with whom I still haven't actually shared much personal information--I just like talking to them about fannish stuff or meta or writing and feel a connection to them in that sense. And I guess my other issue is that most of my RL friends are people with whom I feel like I can't talk about things near and dear to my heart, like Buffy or writing or even abstract philosophically stuff like I can with some people I've met online. Omg, I'm whining. I think I try too hard to categorize and define things like friendship, which often defy definition.

I want to teach in a few years, though, so I may at some point decide it prudent to lock the photos and remove all markers that, if you're paying attention over time, indicate where I am and why.

Ha, yeah I can see that. Would've seriously freaked me to find my teachers on lj. What are you thinking about teaching, English? At university?

[astridv.livejournal.com]

O.
Well, I finally just created a bookmarks folder for everything. Stuff to read leater, stuff to rec later, stuff to comment on later. Okay, and when rl gets too busy I never get around to revisit them and delete everything unseen, but normally the system works.

G.
Ah, the friends feature, neverending source of Angst. I don't know if it would be this emotionally laden if it was called diffently. It's a really unfortunate choice of word.

When I got my journal new, I was just happily friending and unfriending whatever crossed my path. Some journals, five times or so. Then I found out that's it apparently A Huge Thing. But now I'm more or less back to treating it like like a better bookmarks folder, and it's quite freeing.

I mean, I just don't want to read journals when I'm not interested in the content, it's not personal so why all the Angst. I have a handful of people who I talk to quite a bit, and I'd probably be upset if one of them unfriended, and I'd send a tear-filled email of, "Was it something I wrote?" But otherwise, nah.

E.
I don't like the thought of filtering myself, but I can understand if those with the over-100 flists are doing it. Also, I don't even know how to do a filter.

S.
Locked posts, no problem. What annoys me are locked journals. Okay, I totally get why people would lock their journals, but this "Comment if you want to be added"? I don't know if I want to read their journal if I can't read their journal. I did that just once. Commented, got added, journal had nothing of interest for me. Haven't done it since.

I never use the rich text thing, because then I forget how to do the codes. Hey, after a few years of posting on lj, I finally don't have to look up my a href's and img src's any more :). It's like when I had a digital watch... I swear, I almost de-learned reading the traditional one. I had to stare at it for a few seconds and wonder which finger was pointing where. So, no digital watches and rich text editors for me ;) (Oh, but I use the editor for colours, because I'm also lazy.)

I'm getting OGES.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

ahahaha. I replied to this and then it got eaten by lj, and I was too fed up to rewrite it so I saved it to reply. That's why you're getting a reply almost 3 weeks later!

Ah, the friends feature, neverending source of Angst. I don't know if it would be this emotionally laden if it was called diffently. It's a really unfortunate choice of word.

I don't know though. I mean, sure, it's a loaded word, but even if it wasn't called "friends", adding someone would mean "I want to read you" and taking someone off would mean "I'm no longer interested in you." And even though I really do view my list as a reading list, I think there would still be a strange feeling attached to it.

Then I found out that's it apparently A Huge Thing.

What's funny is when I first got on lj I was very uncomfortable "friending" people without...building a relationship with them first. But as I went on, I was like dude, it's not about friends, it's about what I want to read! And then it was fine. But then, when I started to really care for some people on the list, it got all weird again...because some people I do consider friends, some people just friendly acquaintances...and some people not friendly at all; I'm just interested in what they have to say in a fannish or intellectual capacity. So my arc of feeling toward my list is the opposite of yours...awkward to comfortable to awkward again.

What annoys me are locked journals. Okay, I totally get why people would lock their journals, but this "Comment if you want to be added"? I don't know if I want to read their journal if I can't read their journal.

Yeah, I've never really been interested in people who have locked journals. Well, actually, one--I got to know her through her comments, and enjoyed what she had to say, and so friended her, and eventually she friended me back and I could see her locked posts. But I've noticed that a lot of people with flocked journals don't comment elsewhere, so I never get to know them, so why bother trying to get in their journals?

I finally don't have to look up my a href's and img src's any more

Ha! I totally still need to look up img src...I usually type scr! But yeah, the color is so much easier on the rich text thing. I'm using semagic now, which has buttons like the rich text editor, but when you click on them it inserts the code into your text window so you CAN deal with the code by hand if you'd like. I love it!!!!

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

O: I use Firefox to take note of things I want to read but don't have time for - I basically just open up posts in a new tab, and I have the extension so that when I shut down my computer(or if it crashes) it saves it. I wish there was a way to mark posts quickly (faster than memories, which would take forever and become a mess in my hands very quickly). Sometimes I'll use del.icio.us to mark pages, if they're fic and I shoud probably do that more often - I'd just have to be diligent about cleaning it up.

E: I don't filter because - well, I tried filtering and quickly found that even though I *meant* to go back and read, I didn't always have time. And that meant sometimes I missed important stuff. WHich, ok, if I don't have somebody friended, I miss the same stuff - but then they *know* I miss it and they can come in and tell me.

which brings me to:

S: I have a weird relationship with my flist, or potentially weird. I really adore some of the people on my friend-of list, but I can't friend everybody back and remain sane. And so I don't friends lock any of my posts because I don't want to cut the people out of my friend-of list out of any part they'd want to see - I don't have a problem with friends lock as a concept or in execution most of the time.

MEEP I AM GOING TO BE LATE!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

O. Yeah, I was thinking it'd be so awesome if lj had a way you could mark all the posts you want to reply to when you're flipping through you're list, and then you click a button and the flist condenses to the ones you've marked.

I use del.icio.us in the same way. I have a complicated tagging system to say: this was recced me by the author, or not (because I always feel a much more intense obligation if the author herself recs herself. And I say I'll read it.) Hopefully one day I'll actually read them all.

E. I have a fear of missing things, too.

S. Makes sense. I think if I had a ginormous flist I'd feel the same way. Then again, if I haven't been friended by someone I myself have friended, I'm not INTERESTED in their locked posts. If they didn't feel it was something the world could see I'm not interested in it anyway--because if they haven't friended me back we're probably not close friends, you know? I guess what I mean to say is there seems to be this whole sort of social anxiety about what's behind locked posts. There rarely seems to be the same sort of anxiety about what's behind locked doors in RL, unless you're paranoid. Um, this was a tangent.

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Seconding the person who gave you semagic -- it's invaluable, I don't know how I lived without it -- firefox, and del.ic.ious. The last two are godsends, and there are plenty of neat tricks you can do to combine both. Lemme know if you're having issues, if you use them, and if I can't help you, there are probably tons who can :)

Friending ... *sigh*. There's always debate over the term 'friending' because while I am and can be friends with plenty of my flist (pronounced similarly to 'flick', tm crazydiamondsue) there are lots that I'm simply reading cause they're interesting or post good fic, whatever. There's no interaction, or if there is, it's limited to the point where we are being friendly, but we're certainly not friends. It's annoying.

Filters are really useful for some people, although I can't take it -- I'm horrible with things like that, I either read what's in front of me, or I don't read it at all -- but I know a whole lot of people who use them effectively. Particularly those who friendlock -- I think yin_again does, if you want to chat with her about it. Locking really is arbitrary -- I'll lock things I don't want the whole world to know from me being grumpy and therefore inflicting it on only a few people, or stuff about my personal life that could get my introuble if lots of people knew about it. I know others who are more rigerous, too. It's a crap-shoot :)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Lemme know if you're having issues

Thanks! I got del.icio.us when viciouswishes did a post about it and I love it...and I dl'ed semagic and you're right, so far it's been terrific. Now I just need to get Firefox. Everyone's always said IE sucks, but I didn't know why until now--I didn't know Firefox had tabs! That rocks my socks.

There's no interaction, or if there is, it's limited to the point where we are being friendly, but we're certainly not friends.

That's it exactly. The thing is, I care about, or am at least interested in, almost everyone I have friended--I wouldn't have friended them if I didn't find them interesting. But I don't consider most my FRIENDS.

Which I guess is part of the issue with filtering and flocking. If my flist really was all people I consider friends, I *would* feel dishonest or deceptive or *something* if I filtered the flist or posts, because as friends, I would want them to want me to listen, and I would want them to listen back. But since most of my flist are not my friends, I don't feel touchy about either thing.

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

This is not useful except in the way of letting you know there are other people in the same boat--but anyway, I don't understand a single one of the things you didn't understand, either. :-)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Heh! It's so nice to know there are people in the same boat. When I first got on lj I felt very green ... and I am continually surprised to find that all the questions I had were questions everyone has had, and that some of them are questions people are still asking!

[rahirah]

I filter like whoa, and make no secret of it. I have a fic filter, a people-I've-met-in-RL filter, an old-EQ-friends filter, and so on. I do try to look at the whole unfiltered megilla now and then, but there's just no way I can keep up with it all on a regular basis.

I've never locked a post. Frankly, if something is THAT personal, I'm not going to be posting it on the internet to begin with.

[ravenwings-7.livejournal.com]

Um...

I don't actually have anything to say here. I just wanted to tell you that I really love that icon.

*snerk*

Carry on.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

I don't use filters. don't know how to even set them up. But I'm am incredibly fast reader (well past a page a minute) and I'm a great skimmer. Fic posts in fandoms other than BtVS/AtS I normally skip. Posts that are long paragraphs and poorly formatted I tend to skip because it's just too hard to read.

I normally don't have too much trouble keeping up. My biggest problem is reading long fanifc and/or leaving fb. I don't always have the time.

I don't like rich text. I can't figure out the coding so I'd rather do it myself.

Have fun in Austin!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Posts that are long paragraphs and poorly formatted I tend to skip because it's just too hard to read.

Sometimes posts like this make me wonder. Do THEY read the posts on their flists with long paragraphs? I always approach writing my posts with that in mind--ok, what is a person going to see when they skim this, so how do I show quickly on the surface what it's about so they can decide if they want to read or not? --Also, how can I make this post appealing so that they'll click the cut and decide to discuss whatever I'm rambling about? It sounds...manipulative stated like that, but I'm truly interested in conversation, and it's so difficult to read and reply to everything on your flist that you have to pick and choose the conversations you want. So I try to make people pick mine. Okay, big tangent.

Yeah, rich text sucks! Have you tried this semagic thing though? It's pretty cool.

And Austin was ...interesting. We drove out to this little town in the Hill Country, listened to my dad throw up all night, and drove home. Oh, sad little spring break vacation.

[hannasus.livejournal.com]

I have a filter, but it's only to weed the communities out so I don't have to wade through page after page of spam. My flist's not so big that it's unmanagable, and I hope to keep it that way.

I don't lock often, because I rarely talk about anything especially personal. When I do lock, it's usually because I've mentioned something that would give away my super-secret identity, and I don't like to have personal facts like my real name floating around in public view (although about half my flist knows who I am IRL). Like, when I linked to my mom's obituary I locked it because it included a lot of personal info. Mostly I just don't want people I know googling me and finding my LJ.

Have lots of fun in Austin!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

My flist's not so big that it's unmanagable, and I hope to keep it that way.

But a filter would make it manageable if it got big! /devil's advocate

I used to be a lot more careful about my sooper sekrit identity. I never told anyone my real name, set up dummy email accounts, the works. I still try to keep my last name out of most dealings with people, because my last name is really distinctive and you could find me easily if you had it. And I do that not so much out of a fear that anyone will stalk me as yeah, I don't want anyone to google me and find my vampire porn. I want to be open and unashamed about it, but I keep thinking that if I get a job where that could be bad...then that would be bad!

We went to Fredricksburg! But didn't make it to Enchanted Rock, which was lame. I love Austin so much. Luckily we missed the SW x SW crowds--I'd love to go but I don't have the money for it!

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Is this a secret message to tell me that you are into Joerge Luis Borges?

[tkp.livejournal.com]

It's not secret, and yes, I adore Borges. And now I have to ski-daddle.

[baffae.livejournal.com]

I friends lock anything that is personal. Basically, anything that gives away my age or location or any other details that I don't feel comfortable sharing with who-knows-who will be placed under a cut. Usually, the only unlocked posts in my journal are purely fandom ones.

Also, my LJ is not known to anyone in my RL. I know at least one of my RL friends uses the internet for fandomy reasons but I do not want anyone, even her, coming across my journal and knowing it is me. So anything that I think could give away to a person who knows me that baffae is really me will be placed under a cut.

My f'list is of a perfectly manageable size so I don't use filters. I have no qualms about filters; though it seems a bit pointless to filter people out completely but yet keep them on your friends list. If you don't want to read them. just defriend them, IMO.

And what, may I ask, is the significance of Borges?

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about not wanting RL people to know who you are. I always want to be open and unashamed of it, but some of my friends are so . . . disdainful of stuff like this; I just don't want to have to put up with them giving me shit about it. The other thing is I don't want anyone to see how much time I waste online!

I think it'd be crappy to filter someone out completely--I hadn't thought of using filters for that until semby brought it up. I agree, if you don't want to read someone, you should just defriend them.

Jorge Luis Borges is an Argentinean writer (of short stories, essays, poems, and literary critique). He's one of the most famous movers and shakers behind "magical realism", which means reading some of his stuff is strangely like looking at a painting by Salvador Dali (of melting clocks fame). I highly recommend his short stories. He's thinky, but FUN. He's like reading a dream.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I see people have answered your "skip" question.

I use bookmarks to note fics or essays that I want to come back and read later.

I don't use filters, that would be too confusing. I try to keep my flist small, and instead just bookmark fics I'd like to read from people that aren't on my flist. If I see something that looks interesting on the su_herald, or a rec from someone on my flist, then I bookmark it for later. Sometimes my bookmarks are longer than my flist!

I'll add my recommendation for Semagic to those you've already received.

Flocking -- I do use it primarily if I mention family matters that pertain to those outside my immediate family. My husband knows about my LJ, but my parents, brother, etc. do not. Also, I flock if I mention DI and the kids I work with in my LJ. I try not to mention any details about them even if I do flock. I don't know if anyone has mentioned this already, but if you want to be careful there is a toggle button you can switch on in your LJ info that is supposed to deter web crawlers and such from doing searches on your LJ. I've done that because I don't want Google and the like to find any info about me that way. I'm not sure how effective this is.

And oh boy, isn't that whole friending/defriending thing a can of worms? For the longest time I didn't even notice it because I never checked my User Info page. People could have been friending and defriending me in droves and it wouldn't have made one bit of difference to me. I could not figure out what all the hoo-ha was about. It wasn't until I made some fiddling change to my settings that I noticed the list and said, "Ohhhh! That's how you know!" I still wish it was much more low-key than it is.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Used semagic on my last post and you're all right--it's awesome!

I can understand flocking personal stuff, but I don't--not because I want my life spread all over the internet so much as because I hardly ever post personal stuff. But if I ever did get to the point where yeah, I started talking about friends and family more, I'd lock it as you do.

Ha! It's funny about the user info page--at the very very beginning I hardly ever looked at it, but when I realized that's where you look and see who you've added or who's added you, I started looking at it a whole lot more. Then I began to wonder, do people REALLY keep checking this page like I do out of some paranoia that someone's going to add them or take them off? And . . . am I paranoid of the same thing? I'm not, really, but I am terribly curious about it.

It's interesting to see who adds you--and who drops you. Also, some people who I don't have friended but have read (either fic or meta posts, etc) and am interested in but haven't yet spoken to sometimes friend me, and I tend to like that because I don't have to be the one to approach and say hey, I'm interested in you. It shouldn't be a big deal but I feel weird about it with the way it's set up on lj. It definitely incites way too much drama.

Anyway, on a completely different note, I saw Game of Thrones at a half priced book store and went ahead and gave it a shot. It was a good, fun read--thanks so much for pushing me over the edge on him; I was really so burned out on fantasy! Now I'm eager to read the rest of the series. (The only thing I really really hated about it was the lack of strong female characters. That's one thing I love about GGK.)

[my_daroga]

Lots of food for thought here. I'm more of a newbie than you, and yes, that "Friend" terminology is wonky. I also feel intellectually that this word, "friend," is not what this thing is and there is nothing personal about it at all. And yet, there is some kind of weight to it that I did not invite.

I think I've only f-locked things I didn't want my husband to come across (rants about him that are better left anonymous, yeah? because we're dealing with whatever it is face-to-face, but sometimes you just need that shouting space) and things I didn't want on the greater-net, like my comic which has real names in it and stuff. And if I were to post original fic, it'd be f-locked. But other than copyright issues or stuff I know Mr. A might come across and be confused by, if I'm dumb enough to post something here, I deserve what I get.

As to rich text, you know, I hate it. I don't know why. I guess because of the editing difficulties or something, but I tried it once, and then went back to < > everything. Which is annoying but for some reason not as annoying to my weird, MS-DOS-trained computer brain.

Filters: I have a few filters I don't use unless I've been away for awhile. Friends, Comms, Fic, and Seattle. The priority is in that order. I don't have enough of a flist to bother with anything else. And I'm not sure I'd be able to; if you're on my flist, I'll feel bad about ignoring you, even if I don't comment about EVERYTHING you write.

Have fun in Austin!!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I'm more of a newbie than you

I guess I didn't know you were so new. You just started your journal in December? You are so much more classy than me. When I first started mine I was like, "What's this? What's that? Someone PLEASE tell me how to do this!" every other week. Okay, so I wasn't that bad, but still.

"friend," is not what this thing is and there is nothing personal about it at all. And yet, there is some kind of weight to it that I did not invite

That's exactly it. The trouble for me is the weight is there for me, too. I feel sensitive about it, when I never MEANT for that to happen at all.

I think I'd flock more if I talked more about my personal life here. I don't feel that I do, really. Then again, the stuff that's most personal to me, the things that are nearest and dearest to my heart, are things that are kind of impersonal in a way--they tend to be my thoughts and ideas and principles, and some of those things I almost feel more comfortable sharing in a more anonymous feeling venue like this than in RL. Wait, how did I get on this topic?

I guess because of the editing difficulties or something,

I highly recommend this semagic thing. It has the ease of the rich text editor--you just click the buttons instead of typing out the html--but in the dialogue box where you're text is, there's still only html so you can go manipulate/edit by hand anything you decide you want to tweak. And I found it really intuitive. As someone who rarely find ANYTHING intuitive, that's saying something.

Have fun in Austin!!

So, you've been to Houston, but have you been to Austin? It's actually an AWESOME town. Doesn't feel like Texas ;o)

I know I have an email to get back to you on and also your story. And you did some photo posts recently I haven't gotten to look at yet. Just wanted to let you know that even though I'm behind, I haven't forgotten and am thinking of you.

Also. Are you going to see V for Vendetta? I think I'm going to do a post about it but Oh. My. God. I loved it. I guess it's my masked man fetish. K, you have to see this movie and tell me what you thought or I shall thrust my fist through this computer screen and drag you along to see it with me. Watch you not like it. Oh, woe is me.

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

To filter or not to filter.

I may have oh, five filters? Maybe six. The basics are communities vs. F-list. Pretty self-explanatory. *G*

Then comes the weirdness of friends vs. people I read and/or read me - not necessarily mutually exclusive, but there's a reason why people don't read 'OMG. I hate being female!' every month. *G* If I don't think they are interested in my rl, then I don't see why they should have my RL entries mixed with my fandom ones. Sometimes something will slip, though. That's the second reason why I created kitteninthedark.

Finally, there's the 'TMI' f-lock. Here enter the poor souls who have the misfortune of hearing of THE RL problems.

And that's how I f-lock my entries. If we're talking about how I *read* my Flist... lol. I used to have a method; it was pretty. These days? It's a miracle if I actually manage to read 10 entries of Sharp Claws. Mostly I'll go stalk specific LJ's (*waves*) or go to su_herald or unfitforsociety when I want to read. There needs to be more pimpage for imho_recs, now that I think about it. *G*

I'll try that Semagic thing. If you think that < > is annoying, try working with a keyboard that doesn't have these keys and where you actually have to type Alt60 and Alt62. LOL!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Your post filtering method sounds so effecient and...well, effective! I got this journal for purely fannish reasons, so when I started getting a flist I never knew what to do with the personal entries. Usually I just skipped them. But even when I get to know something through only fannish things, I begin to be interested in them as people...the thing is, I still never know what to comment on people's RL posts. I find so many of them interesting and sometimes they make me feel sympathetic or amused, but I never know what to say beyond: that's cool, that sucks, omg, and your cat did WHAT?

I do like the idea of having one journal for fannishness and one for everything. I know several other people who've done the same thing. I think if I ever did get to the point where I wanted to talk a whole lot more about my personal life than I do I might consider something like that.

And yeah, reading the flist . . . I've found myself just stalking journals recently too. Especially with being gone for a couple days, I've just gone to a couple journals I find interesting and commented on everything from the last week. They probably think I'm on crack.

try working with a keyboard that doesn't have these keys and where you actually have to type Alt60 and Alt62.

Oh dear god! I didn't even know there WERE keyboards like that. *pets you* The semagic thing is awesome.

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

Tight-assed Yankees want to know: does Austin really have the friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen?

E. I have zero interest in other fandoms beyond BTVS/Bones/Massive Dave Addiction, so I've wound up filtering folks who were probably edging out of BTVS when I came onboard -- and in most of those cases without the BTVS connection there's really nothing left in common.

Mostly, though I filter out comms that have only marginal interest. I check them now and again...but I probably should just drop them. :::rends hair in paroxsym of guilt and shame:::

S. My personal life is pretty public. I don't write about it that often, but when I do it's because I *want* people to read it. Why would I have a virtual journal if I didn't want an audience? So it's open season.

The only flocked post I've done was a bad!fic rant. If I want to have a conversation in private, I'll take it to e-mail or to the phone.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

does Austin really have the friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen?

lololol! Damn song! Now I have it on my head. My dad used to sing that whenever we passed dead armadillos in the middle of the road. (stinkin' to high heaven. And of COURSE he sang Loudon Wainwright for the skunks. Roadkill themed car songs! Ah, the good old days.)

Austin is too much of a college town to have the friendliest people. I don't know about pretty, but a lot of everyone has that hardware-store-shirt-with-someone-else's-name-on-the-tag look.

E. I never have a second thought for dropping comms the way I do about defriending people. I guess because it's less personal, but also because there are so few comms where I'm interested in every single entry, but most of the people on my flist--I AM interested in every entry; I just may not have time!

S. Yeah! Right on! Sometimes I feel like people are afraid to comment or worried they'll eat my time if they talk too long or . . . I dunno! Whatever it is, one day I'm going to get on a table and scream, I GOT THIS LJ BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, AND IF I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY MUGS FOR SOME REASON OR OTHER I'LL DAMN WELL KEEP TO MYSELF FOR A PIECE, GEEZ. Heh. Sometimes I get a little riled up.

I flocked a post once because the subject matter was wanky and I wasn't interested in arguing with strangers about it... but that was quite a while ago. I can't see myself doing that now. Especially after I get up on the table and yell...that. I suck at the phone, but yeah, I do private conversation over email. Best way.

[lillianmorgan.livejournal.com]

The posts I've locked tend to be things that I've needed to get off my chest but in an enviornment where I feel safe and with people I know have previously expressed concern about me. So that's about 10 people!
I do use a filter, but that's only to filter off some of the busier communities which, when I have time, I usually go back to and peruse (at the weekends!). My filter is basically still my f-list in any case.
I do agree that 'friends' is a troubling term, and can lead to all sorts of expectations on my side or one the side of people on my f-list. There are people on my f-list I do consider friends, and usually dear ones at that, but then again there are others I have no clue about. Still we all usually have something in common right?
I hate rich text too, because whenever I do a photo post, it eats the photos. Or it eats the special text I've used - lj users, bold, etc - whenever I put it behind an lj-cut. But, I still have a love-hate relationship with HTML ;)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Still we all usually have something in common right?

Yes! Exactly, which is why I think I feel kind of...just a little sensitive about my flist. I mean, I wouldn't have a breakdown if someone defriended me, but I *would* feel a little pang of regret. I'm interested in everyone on there, that's why I have them friended--so even if we're not best buds, I have like some kind of investment in them. And then, as you say, some really are friends, friends you want to talk about personal stuff with etc, so how does the line get drawn there, and how does it affect everyone, and how do you differentiate? Everyone has their own ways, I guess!

Or it eats the special text I've used - lj users, bold, etc - whenever I put it behind an lj-cut.

Oh really! Well, I used it just this once for this one post and I'm never using it again. HTML is long and lame but it at least does what you want it to. I'm liking this semagic thing people recommended, though!

[zibbycomix.livejournal.com]

I'm having trouble keeping up with my flist now that there are two Harry/Draco communities that post really often on it. I used to be a part of hp_manips, but I took it off my friends page when I couldn't keep up with it. So is there a way to choose who is on your friends page (that is, without taking them off your friends list)? That might be helpful. That way I don't need to feel like I have to LJ a gazillion times a day. =P =)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Yes, you can filter. Um, I forgot how to create a filter. Oh! Go to like your user page (click on the person by your name) and then go to the blue bar on top. Click on Friends and a list will drop down, and then "Filter Friends". Then you can construct a list of those you want on your friends list. Then you can choose to view only that list, or your whole flists, or other lists you make whenever you want.

I don't see the point of filtering. If I'm not going to look at your journal I'll take you off my list.

You should be aware that most people don't look at their "friends list" as a list of friends. For a lot of people it's a reading list, what you're into at the time. I have people on my list I don't consider friends, but who I'd like to read. I have people not on my list who I quite like, but our interests are diverging currently.