I understand what you are saying here. I just don't think all people who find something being said about them that was not initially directed at them are an innocent bystanders who were just poking around their friendsfriends. Some indeed *are* innocent bystanders, and admittedly it would suck to just be looking around and have to see someone saying terrible things about you.
At any rate, whether the person was actively looking to be insulted or really did in earnest accidentally stumble upon it, I agree, it is either ignorant or disingenuous of the one doing the insulting to say, "I never meant for you to see it," or "it's your fault for looking."
What I don't understand is the need for confrontation in this instance. Here we possibly come to another fundamental difference in viewpoint. I don't believe confrontation is necessary in this instance unless the person insulting you is a. a loved one, b. someone you have to work with, or c. violating your rights in some way. If the person was insulting you during an interaction with you, I would feel differently. If the person is insulting you elsewhere, it seems patently obvious that they don't really care what you have to say, which I don't see as problematic unless said person falls under the three qualifications listed above.
But again, the distinction between direct interaction and saying such things "elsewhere" is a distinction I can only make because of the way I view online/lj interaction.
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At any rate, whether the person was actively looking to be insulted or really did in earnest accidentally stumble upon it, I agree, it is either ignorant or disingenuous of the one doing the insulting to say, "I never meant for you to see it," or "it's your fault for looking."
What I don't understand is the need for confrontation in this instance. Here we possibly come to another fundamental difference in viewpoint. I don't believe confrontation is necessary in this instance unless the person insulting you is a. a loved one, b. someone you have to work with, or c. violating your rights in some way. If the person was insulting you during an interaction with you, I would feel differently. If the person is insulting you elsewhere, it seems patently obvious that they don't really care what you have to say, which I don't see as problematic unless said person falls under the three qualifications listed above.
But again, the distinction between direct interaction and saying such things "elsewhere" is a distinction I can only make because of the way I view online/lj interaction.