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The Fic That Ate My Brain.
B. I use words to get the thoughts out of my head. They just keep coming and coming and don't make sense or feel real--sometimes I don't feel like a real person--until I write it down. So if I've got a story or idea, I need to write it just so it will go away. But that means if I write something down, it will go away, like Dumbledore's memories into a Pensieve. So in general I hate writing outlines/plans for stories/essays, for fear I'll waste the idea of what I want to write in the form of an outline instead of a story, and so never be able to write the story itself. How bout you? Like writing outlines? Thoughts, notes, ideas? Hate it? Why?
R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. For instance, I don't like to talk about it with my friends if I'm sort of seeing someone, trying to get a job, trying to publish a story. I always want to wait until I've already done it, or until after I've failed, and say, "look, see?" The thing is, it's not about needing to be successful; it's about hating the limbo, but being able to stand it better if I don't admit it's limbo and just wait for the outcome. The point? Is once again that I don't, or usually don't, talk about, or feel the need to talk about, things I'm writing. If I talk about it something unfinished it makes me a little crazy, because I don't know whether I'm going to finish or like the outcome. If I decide to abandon, or hate the outcome, I failed, but I don't mind talking about it then--it's the interim. This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?
A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)
I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.
N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.
S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?
R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. For instance, I don't like to talk about it with my friends if I'm sort of seeing someone, trying to get a job, trying to publish a story. I always want to wait until I've already done it, or until after I've failed, and say, "look, see?" The thing is, it's not about needing to be successful; it's about hating the limbo, but being able to stand it better if I don't admit it's limbo and just wait for the outcome. The point? Is once again that I don't, or usually don't, talk about, or feel the need to talk about, things I'm writing. If I talk about it something unfinished it makes me a little crazy, because I don't know whether I'm going to finish or like the outcome. If I decide to abandon, or hate the outcome, I failed, but I don't mind talking about it then--it's the interim. This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?
A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)
I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.
N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.
S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?
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(Anonymous) 2006-06-22 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)The thing about a longer piece is I don't approach it like that. The words themselves aren't so very important. They can fade into the background, as can the style, so that the ideas and events can be absorbed into the readers' minds in the least distracting way possible.
This is such a good point, and one that I had to learn the really, really hard way, so I wish that we'd talked about two weeks ago. See? Talking is good! Let's talk more about our fics! But yes, I realized at some point, I think, unfortunately, *after* I had pulled out all of my eyebrows in frustration, that I couldn't make every sentence a MASTERPIECE, every turn of phrase a WORK OF GENIUS, or this was going to take forever. Sometimes, Character A says something, you add an adverb after the quote, Character B says something snarky in reply, you add an adjective after the quote, and then they're kissing. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
fuels the desire to write.
This sounds like it would be the most important thing, for me.
Yeah, I mean, that's why we talk about our fics, to get the juices flowing in a direction that's not in circles inside our own heads.
I'm excited to hear you're doing a longer fic!
Er, heh. Don't get too excited. It is, believe it or not, a Xander/Connor pleasureslave fic. I know, I know. How I have 10,000 words to say on the subject is a mystery to me, too. I'm really having a lot of fun with it, though, and it *is* the longest thing that I've written/will write that's not AtS No Limits (that is to say, where the characters and plot points and developments are entirely of my own choosing), and I'm finding that I don't suck as much as I thought I did with dialogue, and realizing these things about yourself, breaking those barriers, it's why we write, yeah? That, and the feedback. :)
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I do too. I'm worried about your eyebrows.
Sometimes, Character A says something, you add an adverb after the quote, Character B says something snarky in reply, you add an adjective after the quote, and then they're kissing. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
Exactly! *claps* I've read a publihed novel or two in which every word seems a stroke of brilliance, but most novels/novellas I really like, it's not a word or turn of phrase I remember. It's what happened and what characters said. And brilliance every word can be exhausting to a reader. They might be taking in their breath at every word--but then they haven't breathed for an hour and you've killed them.
I doubt anyone who reads this big long fic of mine will have a single moment where they think, "wow, nice turn of phrase" or "new and exciting metaphor!" Which isn't a good thing; there should be some finesse. But the hardest part of longer writing is integrating the "wham bam" aspect with fancier/impresive/poetic/whatever part; I sometimes find my style clashing. In a story like the one I'm writing, I don't even know where to begin sprucing it up a little, calling attention to the writing rather than the story once in a while--but in the end, I'm not sure I want to. The story holds up for me, it should for maybe two other people as well :o)
Er, heh. Don't get too excited. It is, believe it or not, a Xander/Connor pleasureslave fic. I know, I know. How I have 10,000 words to say on the subject is a mystery to me, too.
LOL! On the contrary, I'm even more excited! I've been reading lots of crack lately, and it makes me want to try my hand at it myself because some of the stuff out there could be really quality entertainment if the writing was decent and the characterization consistent. I've been having bunnies I despaired of losing all respect with everyone I admired on lj if I actually wrote them. Including slave fic. But when it gets down to it, any concept can be a work of genius in the hands of someone great. So anyway, I'd trust you to make something like that really really good, and, and Xander/Connor! Cool! I'm still excited!
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It's hard to say without having seen the story, but there are certainly lots of fanfics out there that aren't stylistically writerly, but still strong pieces of writing. Back when
it makes me want to try my hand at it myself because some of the stuff out there could be really quality entertainment if the writing was decent and the characterization consistent
And I have had the opposite happen, where I read some crack pieces that were of such great quality and the writing was more than decent and the characterization was so fabulously consistent that I immediately wanted to see if I could do it, too. I actually wish that I didn't go into it with that attitude, because it's pleasureslave fic, after all, and it should be fun! and hot! and entertaining! I don't need to make this story a meaningful representation of everything I have ever thought about Connor.
I'm still excited!
Me, too, about your fic!
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You do if your meaningful representation has anything to do with him taking all his clothes off. Ahem. I mean, go with where your art takes you.
You're going to post C/X slave fic, huh? HUH?
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I have to go to your crack dealer, it seems. Not much crack pops up on my flist. I started reading more of it when that Top 5 Recs comm geared up at the end of last year, and a lot of the recs seemed to be AUs, slave fic, etc...but I wasn't too enthralled with most of them. Heh. Enthralled.
Anyway, I have trouble approaching things with the, "this is just for fun" mentality. I always get worked up about it and want to make it meaningful, and often feel that the "meaningfulness" doesn't really jive with the premise. But sometimes that disconnect is what makes it interesting--like when you read a picture book and figure out the meaning of life, you know? Unexpected insight can sometimes make itself felt more.
I don't know if this fic is your cup of tea. I don't know if it's anyone's cuppa; I need to stop stressing, but I can't because my brain is gone.