lettered | The Fic That Ate My Brain.

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The Fic That Ate My Brain.

B. I use words to get the thoughts out of my head. They just keep coming and coming and don't make sense or feel real--sometimes I don't feel like a real person--until I write it down. So if I've got a story or idea, I need to write it just so it will go away. But that means if I write something down, it will go away, like Dumbledore's memories into a Pensieve. So in general I hate writing outlines/plans for stories/essays, for fear I'll waste the idea of what I want to write in the form of an outline instead of a story, and so never be able to write the story itself. How bout you? Like writing outlines? Thoughts, notes, ideas? Hate it? Why?

R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. For instance, I don't like to talk about it with my friends if I'm sort of seeing someone, trying to get a job, trying to publish a story. I always want to wait until I've already done it, or until after I've failed, and say, "look, see?" The thing is, it's not about needing to be successful; it's about hating the limbo, but being able to stand it better if I don't admit it's limbo and just wait for the outcome. The point? Is once again that I don't, or usually don't, talk about, or feel the need to talk about, things I'm writing. If I talk about it something unfinished it makes me a little crazy, because I don't know whether I'm going to finish or like the outcome. If I decide to abandon, or hate the outcome, I failed, but I don't mind talking about it then--it's the interim. This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?

A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)

I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.

N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.

S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?

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OMG wtf are you writing???

Yes, I talk the fuck out of my fic while writing them. To the point where my best betas say "yea just stfu and write, bitch". I think I do it to stall. *cough*

Fic that mauls you usually turns out to be some of the best. It's like, you know, rough sex.

I am of no help.

OMG wtf are you writing???

Wait, you've already written 150,000 words? Or you think it's going to take 150,000 words to write the story? Because for the latter, I'd see how that might be crazy-making. I'm a shortpiece writer myself, and the idea of long fics intimidates the hell out of me. I'm working on something right now that's in the 10,000 range and just those five numbers makes me quake in my boots, so I'm having to approach it like each scene is a little ficlet.

If it's the former, I'd be patting myself on the back and bragging to everyone I knew. :) GO YOU WITH YOUR BAD SELF, I'd say.

So go, you. With your bad self. Either way.

I've learned to talk fics out from Kita. The talking, for me, fuels the planning fuels the thinking out fuels the squee fuels the desire to write. And talking it out can be a great way to articulate what's in your brain into words which then you can put to paper (or wp). But do what works for you. If keeping it all inside until it bursts on to the page works, then, hey! Awesome.

I tend to think if I talk to other people (not betas or co-writers) about a fic than it's jinxed to never be finished. However, talking works really well for some people. I've worked with students who wrote terrible papers, expect if I transcribed as they told me what their paper was about.

I rarely do outlines. If I do, it's like one or two words describing the scenes. It really depends on the fic and the length of it.

Outlines I tend to do more when I'm in the middle of a fic, keeping track what info/developments I've already talked about and keeping track of threads that'll have to be tied up at the end. At times when I have a large chunk already done, I'll sketch out a quick outline to view that part in microcosm, and consider whether I want to shift around reveals or particular moments.

Oh, I talk about my fics. Either to willing listeners online (ha! well, as willing as they can be when I cheerily IM them and say "HI OMG ARE YOU BUSY?" In all caps, because I want them to understand that I am shrieking persuasively.

And when I particularly like something, I speak about it at length to TFMN. The other day I was describing the awkward and upsetting end of a romantic encounter that happens to a teenage character, and when he said "That poor kid," I was all, yay!

I limit who I speak to, though, if only because some people make good listening ears/sounding boards, and some people will seem okay but then will keep saying "Is it done yet? Is it done? When are you updating? Are you ready to update yet? How about now?" And that makes me antsy (and actual talk along the lines of "I want more now; hurry up, you update too slowly" really does make me freeze up a bit).

Oh, and I also "talk about" fics by writing snippets for people in IMs or emails, or showing a bit of prose and saying "does that work?" or "isn't this something!" <------probably a sign that I like that bit far too much, and should cut it right the hell out of the fic *g*

But yeah, some pornier stories are born of someone IMing or in the middle of an IM who basically says "Tell me a story."

Damn it, I was going to see that movie, and I was so excited for it to be good! Okay, not really. The previews made me snigger, and I thought it would probably suck. But maybe if it's airing some night on completely free tv (alas, we are cable-less) then I'll check out part of it. But I wanted to make you feel better. (omg, did it work?)

I outline nothing. My stories come from the ether and more often than not float aimlessly until I think they're over. (This can be frustrating: witness Fallen From Grace, which just got all tangled and horrible.) I'm better with short stuff...stuff that doesn't actually require plot.

Ahh, The Lake House sucked? I was thinking it might be the good cheese a la The Notebook.

*smooch*

PS...is this the fic I'm gonna get my hands on at some point?

::pants::

Ahahahahahaha!! Of course, when I head "I am Spartacus" I hear it in that accent. "I am. Shpartaush."

And you saw the movie because Bullock looks like a gorl you would REALLY REALLY like in RL - she seems fun and nice and kinda smart, but silly enough to try clothes on with and have a beer later, and she SUCKS YOU IN TO HER DUMB MOVIES.

But I still think I'd like her. DAMNIT! That charm of hers! *shakes fist*

The Boston Globe gave Lake House a funny sort of thumbs up kind of review. In the sense that yeah, it makes no sense and the reviewer made all sorts of fun of it for that, but he said that if you turn off your brain you'll enjoy it. So don't feel bad for thinking it would be good! Did you get any fun out of it at all?

Dude! I have serious problems with outlining/wanting to write down whatever's in my head immediately. I have this thing where I'll see a scene in my head and *must write it* BUT more often than not, it's multiple scenes, from various places throughout an entire story, and I can't write them all simultaneously, but I fear if I write one and then the next, all will be lost but the first one, so I have to write just a *vague* outline to remember at least what I was thinking of. And I wind up sticking to the outline about... 70% of the time. I don't really like them, but sometimes I have to. My brain makes me.

I cannot wait to read this fic that is eating your brain.

Also, I haven't yet actually gotten around to reading this Ms. Scribe business. I keep meaning to though, because now I really have to know what all the fuss is about.

Hee. I actually kind of thought going to see that Keanu/Sandra movie sounded like an oddly fun idea too. I probably won't see it now. ...unless I do.

I always plan essays - that was how I was taught to write essays at school and uni.

I never plan fics, I just make them up as I go along. The thinking and plotting has to happen at the same times as the writing otherwise I have sod all incentive to write it down - wanting to find out what happens is one of my few effective spurs to writing.

Brain-eating fic seems to be something a lot of writers go through at some stage. I think it's as a result of getting more skilled and thinking more about our fics so we want to cram in more and more layers. You see other authors complain about it all teh time. If you find a cure, can you let me know?

So, talk! Tell us all about it! *is dying to know*

B. Of the stories that have come solely from my own brain (I did outline some of Heaven and Earth, but as that came from Moss' brain it doesn't count), the one that I made a complete outline for is the one I never wrote (which really sucks, because it would have been cool and fairly original but now it has gone away). That was a few years ago, and I pretty much learned my lesson then. Sometimes I'll do a quick timeline of events after I've started writing (especially if I think that some of the events will be offscreen), or every now and then if a story element doesn't make sense I'll get it out of my brain and onto paper just so I can look at it more objectively.

R. I rarely talk about anything I'm writing in detail, but I do like to tell people that I'm writing something, and the basic premise thereof. This is mostly because having other people know about a project tends to summon a shoulder angel (or devil, whatever) that tells me to open Word and see if I can't tap out at least another sentence or two, even if the plot bunny is hiding under the bed.

A. Holy shit!

I. Slash does tend to sneak up on one, doesn't it? I keep having to fend off Jack/Daniel bunnies in H&E (which is basically gen). Although... Three different slash pairings by accident? May ask whom you are slashing?

N. I don't have anything to say about the HP kerfuffle (which I am avoiding), I just want to be able to spell out "brains."

S. Because Keanu is pretty and (I'm so going to get tarred and feathered for this) a decent actor and you were hoping that this would be Decent-to-Good Movie #6.66? Hmm... if my math is accurate, maybe he isn't going to make another good movie, due to the fear that it will summon the apocalypse. From everything I've heard (I definitely won't see it until it's out on DVD) the Lake House would have been good if Ang Lee & James Schamus had gotten their hands on it, but as it is... Yeah, kind of stupid.

Before I started writing fanfic, I tried to plot what I wanted to write, and make up characters, and write outlines. And I simply couldn't do it. I'd sit and stare at a blank piece of paper and then go off and be depressed.

Plan B. I have a start point and an end point that I want to reach, and I like having a title that's appropriate enough to keep me on track, and that's it. I walk in my head from start point to end point, and I write down what I see and hear (oh yes, there are voices in my head).

I rarely forget scene ideas, which is why I don't do an outline most times. But that's because I don't quite get the idea and then NEED to write it down. I get the idea and think about it and think about it and write it and rewrite it in my head and then BAM! Need to write it or I'll go crazy!

Me too. I generally remember the main ideas that come to me, but advancing age means that I'm going to have to start writing down a key word or two, I think! But some scenes just write themselves in my head, word by word, with matching visuals, whether I'm at that point in the story or not. Sometimes it's in the car on the way home from the supermarket, and then the shopping has to sit unattended until I write down what I heard - if I don't do it right away, it's never as good.

I'm very happy to talk over what I did in a story after it's written, but I never talk about my stories while I'm writing them. I don't want anyone else's ideas, because then they wouldn't be mine. That's very important to me. If I don't know something factual, I might well ask around about that, but not the story ideas, or general direction. Besides, how could I, when I don't know where it's going? If I'm writing for something specific, and I have serious choices to make that fundamentally affect the story - Dark Star's Project Paranormal, for example - I might ask if there are any preferences, but that just means that I keep the alternative choice for another day.

And I am really looking forward to reading this gigantic story of yours... I think once it's done you might find you have a brain left - I'm sure the story will give it back. Hope so, anyway. Can't have tkp sans brain...

And I agree that not every word and sentence in a story should be so polished, so brilliant and so sparkling that the reader suffers from brilliance-fatigue after a page and a half. Even in this, contrast is needed. And I am more than happy to send the reader off to find a dictionary, but not for so many words that they don't understand any of the sentences... Particularly for plot-based story-telling, the simpler the wording in critical points of the action, the more the reader is sucked in. That's what I'm learning, anyway.

Sometimes I outline, sometimes I don't. Sometimes outlining makes me loose my oomph, and sometimes it doesn't. This used to scare me. But I know that even when I'm oomphless, I can sit down and put a gun to my own head and write it if I have to, so I tend to err on the side of outlining, especially for very long (over 20-30,000 words) pieces. My novel-length stuff tends to have umpty zilion subplots going at once, so if I don't outline, I'm doomed.

I'm v lazy with fanfic, and I never outline. Things kind of crop up on me, like there was a whole 'corpse in the shrubbery' moment in something recently - and who knows where that came from? It worked, I think, and it was absolutely last minute.
With proper stuff, though - I have to outline. We outline to death, and half the dialogue goes in there so really you're writing the actual thing, not just a plan.
This is no help at all, is it?

Do you know I was going to post on this very topic today!!! More proof that we were separated at birth. Except your eyeball isn't flaking off, I hope.

I am off to dinner now, but I will be back with my fascinating thoughts later.

And now I am back! With squishy thoughts.

B. I am of two minds about outlines. Usually I don't. What I might do is write scenes that come later for fear I'll forget. Or very brief chapter headings. For example, I started writing a post NFA fic quite a while ago and I wrote down the names of the person that the chpater focuses on. Even though the person may not be in the chapter.

But for the first time ever, I fear I might attempt something with plot - that season 3 rewrite. And I'm actually writing down brief one sentence markers regarding the scenes that need to be written. I might send it to you because I'm not sure it hangs together. Rereading the original script for "Consequences" i am struck first by how dense it is - I'm not all capable of that. But also I'm struck by how the plot is often very secondary. It's all about emotional beats. And that's what I'm trying to make sure I hit.

R. Part of me is convinced if I wish for something bad and it happens, completely my fault. Don't tempt G-d.

A. Now that my life is back to normal, feel free to send parts and/or all of it or just discuss if you want. Or don't, I am completly easy going because I am perfect. MWAHAHA!

I. Well, I just wrote my first slash also, proof again that we are one paramicium, cruelly split into two.

N. I will not succumb to watching Sparatuc again. Or Gladiator, the new non-improved version.

S. Keanu was good in a movie twice in his life. Speed because it's pretty hard for anyone breathing not to be good spouting Joss's dialog. And The Matrix because all he had to do was look confused, Keanu's natural state. "Devil's Advocate" was good in spite of the K factor (I mean, Al Pacino playing The Devil, how wrong can you go?) And I've never seen all of Bill and Ted, so can't comment on that one.

I rarely write outlines; I just keep track of how stories go in my head. I agree with you- if I try to write an outline, I just get nervous about writing the actual story. I do write down if I have an idea for a story, but I don't outline it. Yeah.

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