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The Fic That Ate My Brain.
B. I use words to get the thoughts out of my head. They just keep coming and coming and don't make sense or feel real--sometimes I don't feel like a real person--until I write it down. So if I've got a story or idea, I need to write it just so it will go away. But that means if I write something down, it will go away, like Dumbledore's memories into a Pensieve. So in general I hate writing outlines/plans for stories/essays, for fear I'll waste the idea of what I want to write in the form of an outline instead of a story, and so never be able to write the story itself. How bout you? Like writing outlines? Thoughts, notes, ideas? Hate it? Why?
R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. For instance, I don't like to talk about it with my friends if I'm sort of seeing someone, trying to get a job, trying to publish a story. I always want to wait until I've already done it, or until after I've failed, and say, "look, see?" The thing is, it's not about needing to be successful; it's about hating the limbo, but being able to stand it better if I don't admit it's limbo and just wait for the outcome. The point? Is once again that I don't, or usually don't, talk about, or feel the need to talk about, things I'm writing. If I talk about it something unfinished it makes me a little crazy, because I don't know whether I'm going to finish or like the outcome. If I decide to abandon, or hate the outcome, I failed, but I don't mind talking about it then--it's the interim. This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?
A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)
I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.
N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.
S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?
R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. For instance, I don't like to talk about it with my friends if I'm sort of seeing someone, trying to get a job, trying to publish a story. I always want to wait until I've already done it, or until after I've failed, and say, "look, see?" The thing is, it's not about needing to be successful; it's about hating the limbo, but being able to stand it better if I don't admit it's limbo and just wait for the outcome. The point? Is once again that I don't, or usually don't, talk about, or feel the need to talk about, things I'm writing. If I talk about it something unfinished it makes me a little crazy, because I don't know whether I'm going to finish or like the outcome. If I decide to abandon, or hate the outcome, I failed, but I don't mind talking about it then--it's the interim. This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?
A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)
I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.
N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.
S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?
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B. I am of two minds about outlines. Usually I don't. What I might do is write scenes that come later for fear I'll forget. Or very brief chapter headings. For example, I started writing a post NFA fic quite a while ago and I wrote down the names of the person that the chpater focuses on. Even though the person may not be in the chapter.
But for the first time ever, I fear I might attempt something with plot - that season 3 rewrite. And I'm actually writing down brief one sentence markers regarding the scenes that need to be written. I might send it to you because I'm not sure it hangs together. Rereading the original script for "Consequences" i am struck first by how dense it is - I'm not all capable of that. But also I'm struck by how the plot is often very secondary. It's all about emotional beats. And that's what I'm trying to make sure I hit.
R. Part of me is convinced if I wish for something bad and it happens, completely my fault. Don't tempt G-d.
A. Now that my life is back to normal, feel free to send parts and/or all of it or just discuss if you want. Or don't, I am completly easy going because I am perfect. MWAHAHA!
I. Well, I just wrote my first slash also, proof again that we are one paramicium, cruelly split into two.
N. I will not succumb to watching Sparatuc again. Or Gladiator, the new non-improved version.
S. Keanu was good in a movie twice in his life. Speed because it's pretty hard for anyone breathing not to be good spouting Joss's dialog. And The Matrix because all he had to do was look confused, Keanu's natural state. "Devil's Advocate" was good in spite of the K factor (I mean, Al Pacino playing The Devil, how wrong can you go?) And I've never seen all of Bill and Ted, so can't comment on that one.
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B. Send it send it send it! And also, you're wrong. "Consequences" really is dense (all of S3 is. It's my favorite season) but I think you can pull off something like it. And you're very good at tugging at my emotions, so go you. What I've already read, and what you've said about it, I think is going to say a whole lot about the characters with a completely new spin we haven't had a chance to see.
A. But people keep bugging me about Best Souvenir. *pokes*
I. Do you mean the scene in the fic I already beta'ed? Hotness.
N. I love Spartacus. It's a great movie.
S. Agree with everything you just said. I love Devil's Advocate. Well, and the Matrix and Speed, but those go without saying. Never seen Bill and Ted either.