lettered: (Default)
It's Lion Turtles all the way down ([personal profile] lettered) wrote2006-08-22 08:37 pm

Let's talk about imagined audience.

Ask me a question! Because I missed you.

* * *


So, recently a couple people have got me thinking about the concept of "imagined audience." Let me say first that I hope if you write, fanfic or original, you do it for yourself. It's great to get fb, praise, and a dialogue going with readers, but seriously if the writing itself doesn't please you, go do something else forgodsakes. Mmmkay, now that that's over with, what is this imagined audience? Well, I'm defining it as a specific person or group about whom you're thinking when you write, and whose fb makes you feel you've accomplished your goal.

Because that definition feels a. amorphous and r. really really wrong for some reason, let me give an example. Not to toot my own horn but toot toot, it's about the las fic I wrote, Ten Things That Pull Apart And One Thing That Holds Together. Now, I wrote this fic first and foremost because I love B/A, and what I love about it is the idea of "love overcoming all obstacles" ; despite the fact that that idea is cliched, a deep fanciful part of me really wants me to believe it's true. So I wrote a fic about obstacles to see whether I thought love could overcome them (for those of you who are curious, I'm unsure of the results. Half the time writing that fic, I thought: "B/A would never work." The other half I thought, "love is like oxygen love gives you wings all you need is love /Moulin Rouge"). So, let's hear another mmmkay, because that's my motivation for writing it and it was for myself first and foremost, but I did on occasion think about who would be reading, and that's what I'm calling my "imagined audience".

A large part of my imagined audience were the people with whom I've listened to and discussed B/A who don't think the 'ship is feasible, practical, or realistic. A lot of people who don't prefer B/A as a 'ship think it's a puppy love, or a juvenile love, or a fairytale love, that was never meant to last or never meant to be. I wanted to respond to those people by saying, "In reality, this couple would have these types of problems. But it doesn't make their love any less real."

To narrow it down, the idea for this fic was actually a specific response to some people who replied directly to, or spoke of elsewhere, this post about what B/A means to me. There were at least two specific responses that were very respectful toward my feelings about B/A, but mentioned that I hadn't really addressed some of the issues that might arise with the 'ship post NFA (particularly issues that had to do with both Buffy and Angel being very alpha personalities). I wanted to respond to those people by saying, "Thses are the issues that would arise post NFA, and this is how they would deal with it. It might not be perfect, and it might not even work, but the love that's there is what I love about the 'ship."

To narrow it down even further, when I was writing the fic, I kept asking myself, "but what would [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet say?" I think Lynne is a terrific writer; one of the best short piece writers I've ever read period, fanfic or not. I also happen to know that she doesn't prefer to read about B/A, that the 'ship just doesn't appeal to her. She has mentioned several times various reasons why she thinks they're better off and more interesting as characters not together post-NFA. I wanted to take into consideration the things she's said over the months I've known her, and use that to really fully examine what I thought about B/A. Mostly, I wanted her or someone who feels as she does to be able to read it and say, "Yeah, these are the issues I think this couple would have. And yeah, the way you've presented this, I can see where you're coming from about B/A standing a chance, even if I don't agree."

The other thing about thinking about Lynne reading this piece, is she and several other fic authors whom I really respect have said that sometimes while my ideas are good and the words are really interesting, the prose gets convoluted and obscures what I'm trying to say. So, in efforts to make the writing more precise and elegant, I limited myself to exactly 300 words per section. It wasn't about making Lynne say, "Wow, 300 words!" or "Hey, you almost managed not to get bogged down!"--it was about me improving my writing. But in the effort of doing so, I kept imagining Lynne as beta saying, "TKP, you don't need that bit." Sometimes I said, "hey, shut up, Lynne," but sometimes I listened.

The end of this little anecdote is I finished the story, and just plain didn't want to tinker with it any more. I had done what I wanted and felt satisfied. But when I posted the story, I began to wonder whether it'd worked or not or whether I should've waited or worked harder. But then I got fb from Lynne, and it was pretty much like a reassurance that yeah, my work there was done. It's not a perfect story; it's not as good as it could be--but it's what I wanted to do. The same thing happened double when [livejournal.com profile] stultiloquentia fb'ed--she's a fabulous writer who writes fabulous B/S. We've discussed on and off the merits and B/A and why it does or doesn't appeal to us, or how we think the 'ship worked. So when she said I'd addressed arguments she might've brought up against the 'ship, I was all, "yay! I wrote it for people like you, baby!" Stulti has also mentioned how my words tend to get cuaght up in themselves, and she said I'd done a good job with that this time, so triple yay!

There are other aspects to imagined audience. In the case described above, I was making a specific case for a specific 'ship for people who don't necessarily 'ship that way. But the idea of writing specifically for 'shippers has been discussed at length: for instance, S/X fics that don't explain the why or wherefores of Spike and Xander getting together, and so are mainly only accessible to people who already 'ship them.

Often, imagined audience has nothing to do with 'ship. For instance, just to show you what an arrogant prick inside-out-prick I am, I wrote Blood Types because I'd just read several stylistic, poetic, very formatted pieces that everyone was fawing over and I myself thought they were absolute crap, so I wrote a piece that I felt was all three but that I also felt was good stuff. My imagined audience were the same people who were fawning over those other pieces.

Sometimes, you're not trying to prove anything to an imagined audience, you're just writing something you think they'd like. I wrote Down There In The Reeperbahn thinking of a few people whose fics and meta I'd read who seemed to be really into the patterns and echos in AtS, Angel's life, and especially Connor's place in all that. Sometimes when I'm working on Best Souvenir I just think of my beta, [livejournal.com profile] a2zmom, and whether she would say, "but that doesn't make sense" or not. And there are certain people who, every single time, I think, "dude, if they liked this, I'd feel all tingely, just because it's them." That's usually writers I really respect--two of whom I've already mentioned: [livejournal.com profile] stultiloquentia and [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet.

So, the point.

-What fics have you written with imaginary audiences in mind? Why?
-What's a group that's been your imaginary audience?
-Who's a person who's been your imaginary audience? (and name names, people. I was shy to say [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet at first because for a moment she was an imaginary audience for this post, and I imagined her saying, "Dude, that TKP is a suck up! Plus she stalks me and I think she smells. Also now if I don't fb does that make me a bad person? WHAT IS HER CHILDHOOD TRAUMA?" But I totally sucked it up, and suspected Lynne could handle it, too.)
-Is there a particular person or group who is often your imaginary audience, and if so, who are they?
-Who's that person who's fb you often or always think about when you write, and against your better judgment and confidence in yourself, feel kinda vindicated when you get?
-Who's your imagined unaudience? Who have you hoped would never read what you've written? Besides your mom and that skeevy guy you saw once at Wal-Mart who followed you for a full ten minutes and got some of his guano on your shoe, are there sometimes people on lj who you hope might skip on by such and such fic? Ever write something knowing so and so will dislike it, and hope they don't read it and think less of your writing for it?
lynnenne: (spike you rock by winter)

[personal profile] lynnenne 2006-08-23 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes I said, "hey, shut up, Lynne,"

Don't you tell me to shut up, missy. I AM INSIDE YOUR BRAIN!!! Also, you smell.

Seriously, I'm flattered that you would think about me when you're writing. It makes me kind of tingly in naughty places. But you know, I *have* been known to be wrong. In some alternate universe somewhere. ;)

Kita is my imaginary audience, because she betas most of my stuff, and I know she's going to kick my ass; so I try to whip it into some kind of shape before I send it off to her just to cut down on the bruising. :D Other than that... it's going to sound pompous and pretentious and possibly schizophrenic, but the *characters* are my audience. I don't write with a particular reader in mind, but I do try to hear the characters' voices in my head. I want to make it true to *them*, if that makes any sense. I'm not sure it does, even in my own brain. *slinks off*
rahirah: (Default)

[personal profile] rahirah 2006-08-23 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
Hm. I try not to get too caught up in writing for my imaginary audience, because it's possible to go too far down that road and end up with a diatribe rather than a story. But I have written for all these groups at various times:

People who like fantasy/horror/adventure/romance.

People who like BtVS fan fiction.

People who like Buffy/Spike fan fiction.

People who do not like Buffy/Spike fan fiction.

People who like unsouled redemption stories.

People who don't like unsouled redemption stories.

People who say "How exactly are we defining redemption this week, anyway?"

People who complain that people who write unsouled S/B always make Spike a fluffy puppy.

People who don't think you can put Buffy in a long-term relationship with unsouled Spike and make it believable.

People who don't think you can write interesting stories about long-term relationships, period.

I wrote The Sure Thing for several reasons–I'd wanted to write a story from a minion's POV for some time, and I'd wanted to write a Damon Runyon pastiche (in the non-Harry Potter sense of the word) for some time. And wrastling with Three Deep was making me crazy and a I wanted a break. But it didn't come together until [livejournal.com profile] wenchsenior mentioned that she really didn't like babyfic, and she knew that I was planning on having my characters spawn and was dreading it. So I chortled evilly and set out to write babyfic that people who hated babyfic would like.

But I think that's an exception; I don't often write stories with particular people in mind, more... demographic groups, I guess. And me, because I am one of those sad pathetic egotists who enjoys reading her own stories. There are a number of people whose writing and whose taste I admire, and I am extra-happy if one of them gives me fb. But I really, really love getting the fb that says "Usually I hate Spuffy, but yours I like."

I don't think I have an unaudience. I've never posted a story I hoped someone wouldn't read. I know that with every decision I make about where to take the series I disappoint some people, and sometimes I feel a little glum about that, but you can't please everyone; that's impossible. Though I'm always secretly nervous that I actually suck quite a lot, and people are leaving ""Great story!" fb to be polite and then IM'ing one another:

BNF1: o god did you see her latest? Total crap.
BNF2: I stopped reading her ages ago.
BNF1: Lucky you.

(btw, I really liked "Ten Things." Though I do not so much think B/A can't work as like S/B much better. *g*)

[identity profile] lostakasha.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
Hey! I missed you, too!

So..what are you working on?

And what an interesting post. My answers will seem arrogant, for sure, but I can't see answering you with BS. So, here goes. I've written quite a few of my AtS fics to thumb my nose at Whedon, Greenwalt, Minear, Fury et al to fill in scenes thay *should* have either written better, or written to begin with. They have been the target audience for a significant number of my Angel fics.

That said, I was nervous when I wrote Lamb Of God because I had read [livejournal.com profile] romanyg's His Body A Boat and was absolutely driven to try that style because it really appealed to me. So her feedback wil lalways and forever thrill me to the core -- validate me, despite myself. And since [livejournal.com profile] kita0610's was the first Angel I'd read that actually nailed him, I have often sweat (sweated?) bullets hoping that *my* Angel would meet with her approval. Ditto for [livejournal.com profile] glossing because her lyricism is amazing. I wrote hoping they wouldn't hate my stuff if they did deign to read it.

I don't write to [livejournal.com profile] starlet2367 when I write Cordy/Angel, but she set the bar for that fic, and her influence looms large. I don't consciously wonder "what would Kel do" when I'm writing. It's more putting it out there, holding my breath, and hoping like hell she either never sees it, or if she sees it she doesn't think it sucks.

Now, I've never written long-form B/A, but I'm about to. And you can bet every penny in your piggy bank that I will be writing it to [livejournal.com profile] chrisleeoctaves, [livejournal.com profile] a2zmom and [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet. Because if it doesn't come up to their standards, forget it.

And I really identify with your need to write whatever the style of the day might be, and knock it off its axis. Only I do that with characterization. I'm a characterization freak. Right now, I'm writing a fair amount of Bones slash, which has very limited appeal. But truly, I write that ship because I'm compelled to write it, and that little stinker Hodgins will not let go of my brain. Do I pray that [livejournal.com profile] sweptawaybayou reads it and thinks it works? Hells yeah. Because she sees Booth in the same way that I do, so if she gets where I'm taking him, then I know I'm doing what I'm setting out to do. Plus, she writes fantastic m/m sex scenes, and I suck at it completely. Which is why my boys often come and go and you wonder ... did I miss it? So if she thinks it's hot, I've done all I can.

(Ditto for RPS because I write David Boreanaz, and her DB is one of the best ever written. You know how I know? Cuz Dave told me. Uh huh. Yes, he did.okay, so it was imaginary!dave, but he's real to me, dammit!)

There are so many people whose feedback makes me beyond proud and happy; too numerous to mention here.

Ever write something knowing so and so will dislike it, and hope they don't read it and think less of your writing for it? Almost. i've written something I know someone will dislike, and I hope they don't give me shit for it. Oh yeah. The thinking less of me? Nah, I'm gonna reap that bitter harvest from my personal posts, not my fic! Fic is so subjective and there's never accounting for taste, so I don't get my feeling hurt over it.

Thanks for letting me ramble on ... I love your thinky thoughts!






ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Oh, sure, everyone's wrong. Doesn't mean they aren't a fantastic voice in your head saying, "you add that word just for the rhyme and I will keeeell you with my brain. Or, you know, your brain."

I don't think the thing about characters sounds pompous or any of those other p words. Also, not schizo. I think it's something everyone should do. You don't want Spike suddenly turning to Buffy, raising a finger and saying sardonically, "Angel would never call me snookums; I'm outta here." Because Buffy and Angel would be left in the room and you would be left writing B/A. Ha! Writing fanfic is also about giving the characters what they want or need or precisely what they don't want or need, so it seems like just good writing to ask yourself, "okay, what would Spike want to hear right now, and what wouldn't he?"

But I was more interested in RL imagined audience, because imo trying to hear the characters should be a given. I don't always have an imagined audience, and when I do I rarely think of them. This last story and Blood Types were the two most influenced by the issue.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
I almost mentioned your novel length fics as examples of fics written for "People who don't think you can put Buffy in a long-term relationship with unsouled Spike and make it believable" and then I realized ascribing a motive to you was not very right of me. Your fics work that way with me on some level, but I wouldn't assume that was your purpose in doing it--I seem to remember reading you say somewhere that a lot of times you write for B/Sers, but try to make them accessible to the masses. I assumed you were talking about your novel-length fics, but I wasn't sure.

Anywho, if I am writing towards an audience, it does tend to be toward a group rather than a specific person. But often someone will say a specific thing that gets me motivated: I forgot to mention, but I actually put pen to paper on the Ten Things B/A fic when I was reading some random meta about something else that said most fandoms tended to be apocalyptic, so we're rarely interesting in watching the characters brush their teeth. I, being B/A obsessed, am actually VERY interested in Buffy and Angel brushing their teeth, so there you go.

I like how some of your audiences contradict each other. Way to go for exploring new directions. And I don't think you need to worry about people leaving nice fb just to be nice. Although I don't know about those BNFs. I know how meeeeen and nasty they are ;o)

(And thanks! Totally understand that.)

[identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
Heh. Okay, so I mentioned how this newest Connor fic I wrote I had you in mind as a target audience, right? Because I wanted to talk to you about the character, mostly. I'm definitely going to say that there are only about... four people who's opinion would carry weight with me re: that type of fic. You, Kita, Ros, Lynne right off the bat.

And it's because I AGREE with their/your characterization of that particular person, and also have particular and strong writing styles that are above the norm, or better than most. So, yeah. I don't necessarily write that FOR you four, but I definitely like HEARING BACK from that group when I write that character, if that makes sense. This latest "fairy tale" fic I wrote because I had to. I got an idea and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I certainly don't want to be a writer that writes solely for feedback, which would be the "did U liek? Tel lme or I dun post new fic, ZOMG!" variety. So... I write because I want to/have to, and hearing back is just icing.

Now. When it comes to anything I'm writing to be simply balls-out funny? That's ALL for me. If I laugh, I know it's funny. I'm super snotty when it comes to that stuff, and in contrast, the level of feedback isn't a big deal. I know that humor is polarizing, so *shrugs* Not everyone will like it, and the people who *I* think are funny will usually respond. It's the [livejournal.com profile] dovil factor. :D (If she laughs, a tree just fell in the woods, or something like that.)

But stuff I take seriously? Yeah. It's nice to know you've hit something out of the park. (And conversely, it's okay - for me, at least - to know when I DON'T hit it out of the park. I almost feel like this last thing I wrote was a failure in many ways, because the people who are the hard core Connor writers/readers weren't really there talking about it. Which just sounds lame and "woe is me." But you did ask for honesty. :) (And seriously, you know this for truth: I'm good with hearing the why nots.)

And I'm finding that I use very specific betas for specific writings. Style-wise, varying fandoms, etc. Because I need someone who's on the same page as me.

Re: UN-audience: I can't name names on this one, but I was recently friended (um... over the past few months) by someone who is a staunch supporter of the Cult Of notNice over one of my goofy humor pieces, and I'm STILL thinking it's a set-up. Hahahaha.

And I'm totally with you on the fangirling of [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet. There are some great writers on my flist, but I think Lynne and [livejournal.com profile] annakovsky have very distinct styles and are some of the best writers I've ever encountered. Pro or not.

[/nerd]

You ask such good questions

[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
-What fics have you written with imaginary audiences in mind? Why?
-What's a group that's been your imaginary audience?
-Who's a person who's been your imaginary audience?

I wrote my one piece of Batman slash thinking about Te, because she asked me for it, and dude. TE.

Jess & I wrote Six Foot Deep as a reaction to the fluffy-fying of the Spuffy ship, but it wasn't so much a "ha, you guys are nuts, here's how it ought to be" as a "wow, we are clearly watching a different show, and here is how we happen to see it."

I wrote Fanged Four Fairytales with Maze in mind, believe it or not. He likes smut, and he came up with the merry-go-round idea, although he didn't know exactly how I was gonna use it. Heh. I imagine him as audience a lot, actually, because he is not a fanfic reader, and not at all a slash fan. If I can sell him something, I know I've done my job.

Cracktrailer fic is always for the same small group of fans; and I try really hard to tell the story I want, but still kind of be true to the like, five people that made the verse happen and live on in the first place. Especially Witling.

I often imagine a running beta in my head, although the voice changes (Jess, Daki, Fod, others) it usually says the same things. Mostly "Jesus God, you can use half the amount of words for that", and "Hello, purple".

-Is there a particular person or group who is often your imaginary audience, and if so, who are they?

Hmm. No. The above are pretty much exceptions, not rules. More often than not, I have a story in my brain that wants out, and if I don't tell it the way it goes, I can't tell it at all. Audience be damned. Hm. I don't know what that means about me as a writer.

And Angel fic is always always just for me. And possibly Angel if I admit my psychoses out loud.

-Who's that person who's fb you often or always think about when you write, and against your better judgment and confidence in yourself, feel kinda vindicated when you get?

Depends on the fic- getting good fb from someone who is a known fan of a certain character or ship that the story is about is always a high. Getting fb from authors whose talent I really respect is also a huge deal. And no I won't do a list of names there, although I would still drop dead if Anna S. ever left me feedback on anything.

-Who's your imagined unaudience? Who have you hoped would never read what you've written? Besides your mom and that skeevy guy you saw once at Wal-Mart who followed you for a full ten minutes and got some of his guano on your shoe, are there sometimes people on lj who you hope might skip on by such and such fic? Ever write something knowing so and so will dislike it, and hope they don't read it and think less of your writing for it?

Nah, I am a whore. I want everybody to read everything I write, and I would rather have concrit from someone than have someone skip it. Wow. I am a whore.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
hi! hi! *puts a flower in your hair*

Working on? As in fic? I'm trying to finish this big damn B/A thing. Also, B/A/S/F. No, I don't know what happened either.

ZOMG YOU'RE WRITING B/A!!! Long B/A? I love you! *more flowers* Here, take the whole damn bouquet.

Ahem.

I almost put a disclaimer somewhere in about not being afraid to answer how you really feel, and then I got all huffy about how I wish that was never an issue in this journal. Anyway, I don't think you're arrogant; I think you're confident and I think that's great thing in a writer. Besides, every once in a while we really can Do It Better. I just watched Hells Bells. *rolls eyes*

I don't consciously wonder "what would Kel do" when I'm writing. It's more putting it out there, holding my breath, and hoping like hell she either never sees it, or if she sees it she doesn't think it sucks.

Yeah, there are different levels of it. I mean, I never sit down and say, okay, I'm going to write Cordy just like lostakasha would write her. But if I was specifically thinking of you when writing the fic, I might think things like, "I bet lostakasha would like this part", or "I'm not sure this is really how lostakasha characterizes Cordy. Wait, is this how *I* characterize Cordy? Let me check back." But the times when I do have an imagined audience, it usually isn't so up close and personal as that. It's more me trying to do what's in my head and kinda, just a bit, hoping the other person appreciates it when I've gotten to the point when I'm happy with it, too.

I think of chrisleeoctaves and a2zmom writing B/A, definitely. Lynne, not so much. With a fic like the "Ten Things..." thing I talked about above, definitely, but with most of the B/A I do, esp. long fic, I tend to think about B/Aers when I imagine who's reading.

And I really identify with your need to write whatever the style of the day might be, and knock it off its axis.

I tend not to do that so much; only I did it very specifically with Blood Types. I do like taking a style and subverting it, but it's usually not with a specific idea to prove something to anyone that I do it.

Right now, I'm writing a fair amount of Bones slash, which has very limited appeal.

I haven't had time to read much of it and I'm looking forward to it. I do find it funny that when you're writing an unconventional pairing or a character that's not particularly well liked, you really can't help but think of the people who *do* like it. Possibly because one thinks such people will be the only ones reading it. I know whenever I think about even getting near Connor I think of Kita and Ros Fod and Stoney.

Ditto for RPS because I write David Boreanaz, and her DB is one of the best ever written. You know how I know? Cuz Dave told me. Uh huh. Yes, he did.okay, so it was imaginary!dave, but he's real to me, dammit!)

And the funny thing about RPS, I think, is you can never be *sure* what's the proper "characterization" (one might argue that you can't in fanfic either, but you *can* argue that you get to see private moments and defining aspects of life in fictional characters, and this helps you see way better who they are than any actor or actress). The nice thing there is you can decide on a characterization, and as for me and RPS, I tend to stick to the authors whose characterizations I know I like, and not try new things. And I've also noticed lots of RPSers write for/to each other, possibly for this very reason.

I'll have to try Snow's. I don't think I've ever read her DB.

Oh yeah. The thinking less of me? Nah, I'm gonna reap that bitter harvest from my personal posts, not my fic! Fic is so subjective and there's never accounting for taste, so I don't get my feeling hurt over it.

I was thinking not so much hurt as...discomfort. Yeah, I don't want my mommy to read my slash. Or I kinda do but I'd flip if she did. In that vein, there's one or two people on my flist who I just shudder to think of reading any incest I might write in the future.

And thanks for rambling! I love your responses, always!
lynnenne: (buffy dilemma by kathyh)

[personal profile] lynnenne 2006-08-23 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Um... will there be any naked Spike in this long-form B/A? *hopes*
lynnenne: (simpsons mwah)

[personal profile] lynnenne 2006-08-23 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
*tackles you to the GROUND*

[identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
*bites your lower LIP, zomg*

Also: ♥
lynnenne: (spike put your hands by deadwillwalk)

[personal profile] lynnenne 2006-08-23 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
Well, RL audience, I'd have to say, people who are fans of the characters and/or ship. I wrote "Sense Memory" specifically for [livejournal.com profile] chrisleeoctaves (it was a ficathon request) so I wanted to write a Buffy and Angel that she would recognize and appreciate. When I wrote "Angels & Insects" I was thinking of [livejournal.com profile] ros_fod all through the Connor sections. I was actually going to ask her and Kita both to beta, but then Fod went to L.A. and lost the Interwebs, or something. Anything Spike/Angel I write with Kita in mind. :) And everything else is with a nebulous, undefined reader who happens to like all the things I like. I have a tendency to project onto others. My shrink and I are working on it. :P
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
It was what you said about the Connor fic, and what someone else said on Lee's love meme that made me wonder and do this post. Sometimes I think, "hey, wonder if Stoney will like this?" or some random thing, but usually I don't write *to* an audience. I did with this last piece though, and I got to wondering how much people do it.

I'm finding it a hard thing to discuss, because I *always* write for myself. It's always because I have some idea and can't get rid of it, or want to see how it plays out--just as you say with your recent fic. But while I'm doing it *sometimes*, as with this last one, I'm thinking, "hey, would a non-B/Aer see this?" and sometimes, "would Lynne tell me to delete this word?" And sometimes it only exists in the sense of, "I wonder if so and so will leave positive fb on this one", you know?

When it comes to anything I'm writing to be simply balls-out funny? That's ALL for me.

I think this is a great thing. Because I often laugh too.

I almost feel like this last thing I wrote was a failure in many ways, because the people who are the hard core Connor writers/readers weren't really there talking about it. Which just sounds lame and "woe is me." But you did ask for honesty. :)

It doesn't sound lame. And I know the feeling. I've never been disappointed about the amount of fb I get, but once or twice I was kinda sad when such and such person apparently didn't read it or worse, didn't like it. However, I submit to you that viewing it as a failure solely for that reason isn't necessarily sense-making. There's lots of factors besides goodness of a story that goes into whether someone fbs or not. I understand the disappointment, but I think a story about Connor that got as much fb as you did is actually quite a success, considering that over all the character is not well liked.

And I'm finding that I use very specific betas for specific writings. Style-wise, varying fandoms, etc. Because I need someone who's on the same page as me.

I'd only considered that before insofar as character went. I'd send a B/A fic to a different person than a fic about Connor. I'd *always* send A/S to Lynne, because I know she'd say yes. ;o)

I've never read any [livejournal.com profile] annakovsky. She's one of those writers I've heard about since I got here and always meant to read but never have. Oh, but she did do a 5 Families Connor Never Belonged To piece I think, which I read half of and didn't want to finish because I wanted to see all the shows she was referring to before I finished it because it seemed so interesting and I had no idea what the hell was going on! If that wasn't Kovsky who wrote that I'm going to be embarrassed.

[identity profile] stultiloquentia.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
For the record, I glomped *before* refreshed my flist and saw this, but now I'm glad I went that extra mile and made it pink. In fact, have another one: WHOMP!

*dusts you off*

I'm trying to sort out whether or not I could say I write for myself. I've written some poetry I don't ever intend to share with anyone, but my motivations for prose-writing are ... less pure.

I don't need to write. You hear authors declare, now and then, that writing is a compulsion, practically as necessary as breathing. I love it, I think I'm decent at it but not stunningly great, but I just don't have that vital, driving ambition. What I do, instead, is daydream. And *that's* a compulsion. So I guess you could say, I write so much for myself that I don't need to write it down on paper. I daydream dialogue and crafted prose, spend hours refining a scene just as it would appear on the page, but it stays in my head. Two reasons: 1) Getting from one flimsy scene to something pointed and coherent enough to publish is like canoeing from the end of my dock to Deer Island with a teaspoon. 2) Quite a lot of what I dream about is either tooth-rotting schmoopodrama or fanfic of other people's fanfic!

When something gets written down *and* finished *and* published, I'm gratifying an entirely different need, which is for somebody to say, "Gee, she's smart." That, or, "Gee, Stulti, you'll never be really good until you do this, this and this," because I'm interested in the craft, and want badly to understand it, even if my ambition never makes my own writing great.

So while I love every last brief, uncomplicated squee, I'm really writing for this vaguely-defined group of smartypants, in hopes they'll pop in and say something specific about what I do well or ill. Besides that, I'm just writing for fen. Geeks like me, who get the genre, and why it's worth contributing to. Like [livejournal.com profile] rahirah, I really love it when somebody mentions they don't read much Spuffy/gen/poetry, but mine worked for them. But when I write Spuffy, I'm not writing to prove a point. I'm not trying to sell it. I'm just enjoying it -- and usually very post-NFA and post-hoopla. This is because I am lazy and rather squishy. I speak of my brain and not my hot, tight little bod.

Specific smartypants? Erm ... you. Not just returning the compliment, either; you frequently get all slobbery with love, which is an ego boost from a writer I admire, but you also tend to throw in observations that prove that you got something important I was trying to say, or make clear which parts worked and why. [livejournal.com profile] rahirah's seal of approval means a lot to me, because I have such admiration for her storytelling powers. And I about flipped when [livejournal.com profile] kita0610 left fb on one of my stories. Getting on her radar was pretty cool, because she could care less about my usual ship. [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet, of course, because, whoa, good writer, and she writes short stuff (so far, heehaw!), like me, so I feel less inadequate. ;P I tend to wait for fb from all my favourite hot-shot Spuffy writers who I know are tolerably likely to read, and another, much smaller set of people who have given me especially thoughtful fb before, and check them off a little mental list. I LOVE getting fb from a small group of writers in Tolkien fandom, because they come from concrit culture and they're incredibly generous. And, perhaps above all, [livejournal.com profile] kyriacarlisle, a RL friend who's sort of undefinably fannish and not fannish (useful), a superb friend and dependably blunt critic, who always manages to say something astute, and something hilarious.

Rather a muddled answer, altogether, but it's midnight.
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Thanks!

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
I was talking about this as regards RPS above to [livejournal.com profile] lostakasha. I feel like with RPS you don't know the character, as you do with fic, and because you will never know the character even if you stalk them, RPS is about making up something you like and sticking it in a pretty body (and that sentence is so wrong). But anyway, because I feel like that's what RPS is, I tend to stick to reading RPS with characters I *enjoy* rather than characters I feel are or could be accurate. And I'd think that once you got a group going that liked a particular characterization, I assume it would perpetuate itself.

"Jesus God, you can use half the amount of words for that", and "Hello, purple".

Your voices, they are my voices. Except they take twice the amount of words to say those things, because they are in my head.

Audience be damned. Hm. I don't know what that means about me as a writer.

Possibly I worded the question wrong. Anyway, I feel like what it means is that you are a writer and not a ...not-writer. I write for pretty much the same reasons and in the end, it has to meet my standards or kaput. Sometimes there's a very specific voice in my head and she's bringing up things to address (and the voice might sound like someone, like Lynne in this last fic) but it's not someone who's ever going to tell me what or how to write. But if I do have an imagined audience, it's not written so much for them as with a head tilt on the screen and a, "what would personA think of this part?" or a "wonder if personB will like this fic?" It doesn't change where I go, but it gives me stuff to think about in the dead times when the story is stuck somewhere.

Nah, I am a whore. I want everybody to read everything I write, and I would rather have concrit from someone than have someone skip it. Wow. I am a whore.

You don't get paid; you're a slut. You brazen hussy. Anyway, I often prefer con crit over purely positive fb, and always over one line "good job"s.
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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
B/A is a world without shrimps, Lynne.

[identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
Let me clarify the "sucess/not a sucess" thing, so I don't sound emo. :) It's like... with really GOOD feedback (of which I consider something that contains a criticism, a compliment, and a further discussion - that's RARE, yo) you know you hit the nail on the head, you know? If you were a pro writer, you'd know by your sales. With fanfic, you know from the discussion it generates, I think. So... Yeah. I got more feedback on that one fic - which is CRAZY for a Connor fic in my journal. Usually I get the shitty "ewww!" remarks that are mind-boggling.

And yeah, that was Kovsky that wrote that 5 Families. That actually inspired me to write my M*A*S*H/Connor fic and I don't DO crossovers. Her post-Choices fic with Dawn and Connor is astounding. She has a very unique style - it's spare and sundrenched and paints just enough so you can do the rest in your mind as you read. That's my favorite kind of fic, right there. (And she writes all sorts: if you like The Office, those are tight. Gah, she has a M*A*S*H fic with BJ and Pearce that just sucker punches you and I STILL think about images from that fic after a year.)
rahirah: (Default)

[personal profile] rahirah 2006-08-23 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
I almost mentioned your novel length fics as examples of fics written for "People who don't think you can put Buffy in a long-term relationship with unsouled Spike and make it believable" and then I realized ascribing a motive to you was not very right of me.

It both is and isn't a motive--like I said, I try to write primarily because I have a cool story I want to tell, not to prove a point. But if I enjoy writing about X, Y, and Z, then I want to make X, Y, and Z come off as believably as possible in my story. I want people to buy into X, Y, and Z.

And it doesn't always work, of course, because along with the "Whoa! You sold me on X!" I also get the "X? Dude, you fail!"

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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
The color thing is way too complicated for me. I save it for special occasions.

Writing is a compulsion for me for, funny enough, similar reasons to your day dreams--I do the day dream thing but I need to write it down to find out what happens next. If I don't write it down in something like Best Souvenir I lose the thread and forget what happened so far, especially as far as character development (not so much events). Plus as [livejournal.com profile] rahirah says of herself above, I adore reading my own fic. I have trouble remembering my fantasies when I go back to them days/weeks/mos/yrs later unless I write them down.

But I also like word play, and that doesn't become fun until it's written out on paper. I have no idea why.

That, or, "Gee, Stulti, you'll never be really good until you do this, this and this," because I'm interested in the craft, and want badly to understand it, even if my ambition never makes my own writing great.

I never thought about it that way. I guess I feel like for me someone else telling me I did a good job with it, *or* telling me I didn't do a good job with it wouldn't satisfy my need to understand it because the it isn't something outside myself I'm trying to grasp. Perhaps it is for you; I suspect it is because you use the word "craft". I don't know what word I would use, but often I feel like what I'm interested in and wanting to understand is the compulsion within mself. I'd like it to be validated by outside forces and sometimes I'm disappointed when it's not, but in the end it's about this thing in me.

But when I write Spuffy, I'm not writing to prove a point.

The B/A I write, most of which is unseen at this point, isn't either. But the last definitely was.

I speak of my brain and not my hot, tight little bod.

Good to know.

Not just returning the compliment

Heh, thanks.

you frequently get all slobbery with love,

your writing makes my speaking English good!

she writes short stuff (so far, heehaw!), like me, so I feel less inadequate.

This puzzles me. It bothers me how long most of my stories are, and how I can't seem to think of snapshot scenes, or quick little stories, and feel like I should be able to do them if I really want to write. Then again, I have a rather violent dislike for much of short fiction in the published world. I like fanfic better in that corner.

As usual, you give me things to think about. Thank you!
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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
"Motive" was probably the wrong word. I'm having difficult with the concept here, because an imaginary audience is *never* my driving force in writing any fic. But I do get an idea and think, "hey, what would so and so think of this?" or maybe so and so will say something and I'll think, "well, I disagree, and I'm going to write why I disagree"--the response isn't a response insofar as I want the OP to read it and say, "oh no I was wrong". I'm just writing what I think or feel. But it's both entertaining and useful in cultivating the exact fic I want to create if I consider that person's view point. I guess in a way, I feel it's like brainstorming.

And it doesn't always work, of course, because along with the "Whoa! You sold me on X!" I also get the "X? Dude, you fail!"

And that doesn't make or break the fic itself at all. If one's happy with it and proud of it, I think one should stay happy and proud. I can see being disappointed that so and so thought it failed, and I can also see why a comment like that might help you go back to the very beginning and see that in fact what you tried to do *didn't* work to your absolute satisfaction, but the audience doesn't make or break the story.
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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Connor is fun because he has a small but generally pretty awesome audience. You know that the people who read him are going to recognize the character (or not), and not put up with anything that isn't the real deal.

B/A, less so. One thing I don't like about the 'ship is how sometimes fic I think is crap, with characters I can't even recognize, gets praised to the skies. But that's kind of old school--so much less B/A is being written now. Maybe because people think B/A is spelled with an S. They should see their shrinks.

*loves on you*
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[personal profile] rahirah 2006-08-23 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
No, I know what you mean, but there really isn't very good terminology to describe it. I was reading some of the other responses, and lostakasha hit on one I forgot--sometimes, Joss is my imaginary audience.
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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
If you were a pro writer, you'd know by your sales. With fanfic, you know from the discussion it generates, I think. So... Yeah

Well, there are two ways of looking at it, I guess. One is whether the story is something you should be proud of, whether it satisfied you and fulfilled your goals for the story. I was trying to point out that proof of success in that realm was evident in the number of comments, which is absolutely untrue. That lies in your heart. /cheese but also truth

Another measure of success is whether you got the fb you desired. Some do it by quantity; I suspect you do it by quality. I like both column A and column B.

In the end, the important thing to me is the former evaluation. Now, if I felt I failed in that respect--getting the fb I wanted--I might go back and reevaluate. Sometimes just sheer lack of comments helps me to see a fic with new eyes. But the quality/quantity of comments is just that: a kick in the pants, and insight, but it's not the measure of my fic, for me. In the end it's all about moi.

I meant to read her Dawn/Connor--thanks for reminding. I've never seen M*A*S*H. I don't even know what The Office is. TV and me are not friends, which is why BtVS/AtS shocked me.
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[personal profile] rahirah 2006-08-23 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
The apocalyptic comment is interesting, because I actually see a lot of fics which seem to be totally slanted towards the tooth-brushing aspect, to the point that you would be hard pressed to identify the characters as vampires or slayers of you didn't already know what they were. And it transcends shipping preferences.

I'm interested in the intersection of the supernatural and mundane, how the two worlds play off one another, and how the characters negotiate them. So what I like, I guess, is stories about fang-brushing.
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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-08-23 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
I was surprised by that comment too. Actually, the comment was something along the lines of, "well, next to the apocalypse, toothbrushing seems insignificant so it's hard to write a good i.e. meaningful fic about such a thing."

I like the juxtaposition too. Fang brushing. *snorfle* It should be a genre.

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