![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Utter and complete BRAIN DUMP.
I. CONFESSIONS OF SOMEONE WHO STAYED UP REALLY LATE LAST NIGHT.
-When I sit down to write something, 30,000 words automatically pour out. I don't, physically, know how to write short fic, and I hate everyone that can do it
-I still haven't beta'ed your fic,
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
a2zmom.-I'm afraid to watch any more vids because they make me feel way too much.
-I want to write a really really really LONG all human crack h/c A/S fic with lots and lots of sex in it, that's like no hurt and all comfort, that ends happy. And is teacher/student. I also want to smash my head against my keyboard at the very thought until there's oozely blood in the computer so I can't embarrass myself like that.
-I love Starbuck so much I wanna marry her. And I totally thought I was straight.
-I'm writing Angel/Cordelia. And I love it. No, I don't know where the real TKP went, either.
II. WHAT I'M WRITING RIGHT NOW!
-Another "War Stories" thing. You know, I sat down to write this post, and it was going to be how much I suck at writing short fic, and to ask advice about how to do it. So I was going to talk about this fic, about how it was supposed to be short, because it has a relatively simple gist, but that it was 40 pages already because the plot is so complex. Then I looked at that and said, "Joy, the problem with that story is it has a simple gist, but a complex plot" and then I conked myself on the head. Which means I have to completely start over, but I'm glad I figured something out for once.
-Did I mention the Angel/Cordelia? It's about Connor. I got the idea from that Leonard Cohen song, "Hallelujah". If someone would make a C/A vid to that song according to my EXACT SPECIFICATIONS, I would be most grateful. Except I wouldn't watch it because did I mention the thing about vids making me sad? Did I also mention the length thing? The thing is, I have two pages written for this fic, and I think that in those two pages, the soul of the fic lies. And yet I want to write those two pages over again four more times. Someone please help me. I am pitiful. Meep.
-My B/A for the IWRY Marathon. Which is, "Five Ways Those Two Gits Never Shagged", or something like that, which actually turns out to be the same thing Kita is writing, RIGHT NOW. Meep. But they're different so I'm not so worried. Except that it's SPIKE and Lynne is going to say, What the hell were you thinking, and Chrislee is going to go, but . . . but it was supposed to be about B/A . . . You know, B/A Marathon?
-Angel/Buffy/Spike/Faith. And I don't know how to write sex, y'all. I mean, sexy sex. Because anyone can insert tab A into slot B. Or, you know, tab S into slot F. Or tab A into slot S, or . . . it's very crowded. Other than that, I'm happy with how this one is going. Which probably means I'm going to abandon it soon, not to return to it for months and months. I do that. It makes me sad.
-Another One Like It Tomorrow
-Best Souvenir
III. POSTS I HAVE HALF FINISHED/SAVED.
-Angel AtS meta
-Angel and Xander meta
-Spike and what a soul in Jossverse means
-Angel and how he's really not so dom as so many people would have you think, and what that means for B/A
-A/S and dynamics of power/control
-how "Waiting In The Wings" works as an explanation for how the writers handled A/C and the themes of AtS
-meta on the continuum between canon-based fic, AU, and complete crack
-dark!fic vs fluff thoughts, and why dark!fic is not intrinsically better, and why all those My Dark Fic memes people were posting last year were not sense making to me
-thoughts on POV
-thoughts on tenses
-questions about writing humor
-what I thought was going to suck about BtVS before I watched it
-why I hate Joyce
-why I don't like reading B/Aus
-why I love Wesley
-B/A recs for non B/Aers
-a list of B/A fics set in specific times, starting with WTTH and ending with NFA
-reviews of eps I've grown to like, eps I'll never like, eps I think are overrated,eps I think are underrated
-about TKP post
-friending policy/introduce yourself post
-thoughts on BSG
Yeah, I might have a problem here.
IV. IDEAS I'LL PROBABLY NEVER WRITE, BUT THEY EAT MY BRAIN ANYWAY.
(besides the ones I already posted here, because I still want to write ALL of those.)
-Alternate S6 in which Angel was never ensouled, and the Fanged Four comes to Sunnydale for the Gem of Amara as there's no longer a Slayer there to stop them. Buffy comes back to life. The Fanged Four decide to stay. Jenny goes out a time or two with Giles, convincing the latter he might have a reason to stay. To spite the Slayer, Darla and Angel eat her. Enyos comes to town and curses Angelus with a soul. Angelus tries to go back to Darla and she rejects him. Angel goes a bit of nuts and Buffy tries to help him get back on his feet now that he has a soul. Then there's lots of B/A action. That's all I got.
-Alternate S6 in which instead of leaving, Giles goes to see what can be done about Faith, and brings her back to Sunnydale. Buffy ends up sleeping with Faith later in the season instead of Spike. Have I mentioned this one before? I think it was
winterlive who did a post about it once.-Alternate AtS S2 in which Spike comes to town with Drusilla after "Crush" in BtVS. Spike is trying to find himself--either make himself into someone Buffy would love or someone Dru would love, he can't decide which. Angel ends up sleeping with him instead of Darla in a "Reprise" like scene. I had that idea before
germaine_pet told it to me. I swear.-At the end of "Dopplegangland", a mistake is made in sending vamp!Willow to the Wishverse, and wishverse!Buffy ends up in normalverse, and normal!Buffy ends up in Wishverse. Wishverse!Buffy in normalverse hooks up with Faith, fights the Mayor, and ends up bringing her back to Wishverse at the end when she goes home. Normal!Buffy hooks up with Wishverse!Angel and has to fight the other 3 Fanged Four as well as the Master.
-There's this AU where Spike is like, a boy princess, or something, and Angel is his pet, or something, and some weird spell or something happens where real!S5!Angel gets sent to frightening princess AU, and pet!slave!crack!with!sparkles!Angel is sent to S5 AtS, or maybe the Spikes get switched instead. Yes, crack. But it would totally be in character, at least the actual Spike and Angel would be. God, it really cracks me up.
-Xander and Angel's entire life situations get switched. Like, younger!Liam meets a Slayer, instead of Darla in that alley. They become friends and fight together. Xander never meets a Buffy, grows up, meets Darla, instead of Buffy, gets vamped, later gets a soul. I just don't know how that all works, though. But it's B/X. Real TKP, where are you?
-Buffy/Connor/(Angel). Already written half. A pretty positive look at what this relationship would be, post NFA.
-Angel,Connor/(Buffy). Already written a rough draft. Angel and Connor bond as father and son get to know each other better, but with an underlying twisted fucked up incest vibe that will always be there because Connor reminds Angel of Buffy.
-meta Connor fic in which various scenes, pairings, and characters are Connor, about Connor, or with Connor.
-Fred/Gunn, with hints of Angel/Connor, in which Angelus's taunts at Fred in "Soulless" about hearing her with Gunn are borne out.
-My A/S Fic! It's about addiction. And it's about A/S at different times; one is Angelus/William back in the day, one is in S2 of BtVS, one is immediately post-NFA, and one is in the far future.
-5 Vamps Who Never Were. 1. Cordy is vamped by Angelus in late BtVS S2. 2. Oz is vamped by Spike set in "In The Dark" in early AtS S1. 3. Tara is vamped set in "Seeing Red" in late BtVS S6--I think when Willow tries to bring Tara back. 4. Connor is vamped some time during the summer between AtS S3-4 (possibly by Dru). But I don't think I'll actually do this one because it's too sad. 5. Gunn is vamped in the alley in NFA.
-5 Ways To Learn The Truth About Yourself. Um. That would just be telling.
-9 Circles of Hell. Angel in the summer between S2-3 of BtVS, in Dante's Inferno. In each circle he meets someone he knows or will know, and is tortured by what he has done to them or will do, or what they will do to him. Possibly with Wesley in Judas's place, as Lilah says, just because that bit is where I got the idea.
-4 Weddings and a Funeral. 1. Xander/Illyria. 2. Wood/Faith. 3. Giles walks Dawn down the aisle. 4. Angel speaks to a kid who wants to marry his granddaughter, or something. All with the undertone in each of Buffy's death, funeral.
-Connor/John Connor. Because
ros_fod infected me. Connor kinda crushing on Sarah Connor. John seeing Angel as the Terminator (what with the leather jackets, uncoolness, and taking of bullets). Maybe it's a mourning thing.-Wesley/Wesley Crusher. I KNOW.
stoney321 infected me on this one. Son stealing!V. CRAZY ASS SINGING
So, lots of people do it, associate songs with fandom stuff.
stoney321 does great songlists; femmenerd did an awesome fanmix fic which I beta'ed but haven't reread yet but highly highly recommend and will rec again soon because everyone should read it, and crazydiamondsue send me some cds I haven't gotten all the way through yet but love, love, love.So just throw a couple out there. Here's what I'm throwing out: I, Megaphone by Imogen Heap always reminds me of B/S. Diabolical Streak by Jill Tracy always reminds me of Spike/Dru. "We're All Mad Here" by Tom Waits reminds me of Drusilla. "Winter" by Tori Amos reminds me of Angel and Connor. "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen is currently reminding me of Angel/Cordelia, and "Counting Bodies" will always be Connor's. Ready, set, go!
no subject
Frak, you mean there's hope for me yet?
*is shocked* No, I'm not a homewrecker!
I find the idea of sleeping with women v. v. appealing, but I consider myself because I don't find the idea of being in a long term relationship with one appealing at all. I would wake up the next morning and say, "I mourn the fact that you have boobs and no cock." At least, this is what I think. I don't *know*. But I have known about three women in my life I might've tried with. But that's against about 3 times as many men. I wonder if that makes me, like, 25% homosexual? Just, not really enough to be bi, imo. Starbuck is pretty much the only fictional gal I've really had the hots for. I feel that way sometimes about Faith but her lack of hips makes me cringe inwardly when I think about it. Tara has a figure that appeals to me more, but I just don't love her character *that* way. I'd totally do her, though. /way way TMI
Oh. Oh x 1,000. Because did you know Mr. D and I frequently sing "Hallelujah" a capella at weddings, etc? I need a recording of it.
That's so awesome! That song really really really affects me. Hard.
LOL this reminds me of my Ripley fic that was Highsmith/Alien. Hahaha.
Haahahaha! Now I want to read that.
no subject
Um, yeah. Like I said. Like you said.
/way way TMI
Whoa, dude. I was just joshing! Though I guess there's no such thing as TMI, not really. Well, maybe. I find your views interesting. Especially as I'm only really interested in fictional women (rather than real ones--they're too weird IRL) and *like* the ones without hips or tits. Um... TMI? I like boys and girls who could be pretty much either. Maybe.
And experience-wise, I'm barely-sexual. :o
That's so awesome! That song really really really affects me. Hard.
Yeah... Poor Jeff Buckley.
Haahahaha! Now I want to read that.
Well, get on with it! It's really short. And NO ONE commented. LOL.
no subject
hahaha! There was a "seriously, though", at the beginning of that brain dump, and somehow it got backspaced. I knew you were kidding around; I just happened to be thinking about it at the time. I guess because yeah, I *don't* crush on female characters, even though I do every once in a while in rl, so my Starbuck love makes me think about it a lot, you know?
(rather than real ones--they're too weird IRL)
I don't find women irl any weirder than men irl.
*like* the ones without hips or tits. Um... TMI? I like boys and girls who could be pretty much either. Maybe.
No, and anyway I already knew that about you. In fact, that makes more sense than my love of really manly men and really really curvy women. Huh.
Well, get on with it! It's really short. And NO ONE commented. LOL.
Dude, that was perfect.
no subject
Of course. As it should. I approve of your contemplation.
I don't find women irl any weirder than men irl.
I find them both difficult--but I've found more men "like me" in thought and stuff, that I could talk to, than women. Except online.
In fact, that makes more sense than my love of really manly men and really really curvy women.
Not at all. I think it's the exact same thing. If you posit that bisexuality is possible, then you're admiting that attraction can be based on something other than body parts. So if you're already there, then the *difference* between dangly bits (by which I mean all sex characteristics) are potentially not as relevant as the presence/absence of them. I know other people who share your preference--I always figured they were attracted to the fact of secondary sex characteristics, to the masculinity/feminity, despite the apparent dichotomy. Whereas someone like me is "turned off" by the determinating factors of sex.
no subject
I'm confused by this? It seems to me to only posit that people can be attracted to two different sets of body parts.
then the *difference* between dangly bits (by which I mean all sex characteristics) are potentially not as relevant as the presence/absence of them.
Huh, that does make sense.
no subject
I guess it could go either way: either we are attracted to things other than those body parts (or parts other than those particular ones) or we're attracted to both. Either way, doesn't it reduce their importance when compared to other factors?
no subject
But I guess I feel it's important that society accept the physical aspect of it, that it's not just a case of happening to love the soul of someone who happens to be in a girl's body (as I've heard homosexuality described as before, and which really bothers me. I'm not implying that you think that way, but I've heard enough people say it that I think it's detrimental to a real understanding of where homosexuals and bisexuals are coming from. Speaking as someone who is for the most part, heterosexual, I'm pretty much talking out of my ass). It's loving the soul and the woman's body. And sometimes, it's just loving the woman's body, because that's what happens to get one off.
no subject
I agree, and obviously we can't discount the physical. But that's not what I'm trying to say; merely that when you've already accepted the attractiveness of both sets of parts, the particular parts *might* not matter as much. See, that requires already finding both attractive to some degree, so it doesn't touch completely hetero or homo situations or people. And I'm positing this in order to make my degree-not-danglies argument.
no subject
no subject