![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
LJ, Wonderful Boy And Girl Land
Just for the record, this journal is a public debate forum. It is not my semi-private space, unless I lock posts. It is not my personal area. It is not my home.
That said, I agree with this post, and others like it. The gist of it is that her journal is her semi-private space, it's her personal area, it's her home, and you best be careful of her feelings and courteous if you're a stranger just wandering in.
Sometimes I feel like lj is this big ole fair, with all these booths. I wander around, I buy cotton candy at some booths, I ride rides. I point and laugh at circus freaks; I look at other people's arts and crafts, whirly-gigs and do-dads; I even have my own booth. And then I wander in some booth and think about doing the shooting contest to win the prize bear, and find out I actually just wandered into a tent where some bum was living.
I'm not saying those who feel like their journals are their homes are crazy bums who have strange relationships with prize bears. I'm saying, you're shocked because I, a stranger, wandered into your home with muddy boots and demanded you make your beds differently, but I'm shocked because you're living on the fairground. We are moving about in two different spaces simultaneously, and all the laws of physics except maybe dimensional theory say that's impossible. But we do.
Personally, sometimes it frustrates and tires me out I have to stop at every tent and check if some bum is living in it. Dude, I just want to get my face painted, why can't you understand this is a free fun fairground where we get to ride a lot of ponies? But then I remember that to some people it's not, so ... I check. I'm careful in strangers' ljs when commenting, and I try not to tell them how I want it made when I realize they're making beds and not making giraffes out of balloons.
Yeah, it sucks, 'cause you're at the fair. But no matter how many sparkly tiaras you won at the weight-guessing booth, you're still over five years old (or else you wouldn't have been able to ride that tilt-o-whirl). And even at the fair, you've got to have some measure of decorum. You can't just tip your icecream cone over onto someone's head.
Or you totally can. But then you'll be a circus freak and I will point and laugh at you.
That said, I agree with this post, and others like it. The gist of it is that her journal is her semi-private space, it's her personal area, it's her home, and you best be careful of her feelings and courteous if you're a stranger just wandering in.
Sometimes I feel like lj is this big ole fair, with all these booths. I wander around, I buy cotton candy at some booths, I ride rides. I point and laugh at circus freaks; I look at other people's arts and crafts, whirly-gigs and do-dads; I even have my own booth. And then I wander in some booth and think about doing the shooting contest to win the prize bear, and find out I actually just wandered into a tent where some bum was living.
I'm not saying those who feel like their journals are their homes are crazy bums who have strange relationships with prize bears. I'm saying, you're shocked because I, a stranger, wandered into your home with muddy boots and demanded you make your beds differently, but I'm shocked because you're living on the fairground. We are moving about in two different spaces simultaneously, and all the laws of physics except maybe dimensional theory say that's impossible. But we do.
Personally, sometimes it frustrates and tires me out I have to stop at every tent and check if some bum is living in it. Dude, I just want to get my face painted, why can't you understand this is a free fun fairground where we get to ride a lot of ponies? But then I remember that to some people it's not, so ... I check. I'm careful in strangers' ljs when commenting, and I try not to tell them how I want it made when I realize they're making beds and not making giraffes out of balloons.
Yeah, it sucks, 'cause you're at the fair. But no matter how many sparkly tiaras you won at the weight-guessing booth, you're still over five years old (or else you wouldn't have been able to ride that tilt-o-whirl). And even at the fair, you've got to have some measure of decorum. You can't just tip your icecream cone over onto someone's head.
Or you totally can. But then you'll be a circus freak and I will point and laugh at you.
no subject
And yeah, unless you lock your posts? You're on the internet. This is the equivalent of taking a out a HUGE BILLBOARD. Don't be shocked when a homeless guy camps under it.
no subject
<3
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
Film (of your mom and the dancing bear) at 11.
no subject
It was all over the tabloids. Completely ruined her career.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
no subject
Smilely is good!
no subject
no subject
But then I see that icon and am kinda terrified.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
He says something that sound like vaguely like german or dutch? "Hej, er det ok at jeg kigger lidt rundt omkring? der er så mange intresante ting her inde"
He looks like that he is waiting for a reply. When the reply does not come, he leaves.
You see that his boots, have left dirt marks on your carpet.
no subject
(no subject)
no subject
Oh yis. *nods*
I think the big problem is that people are thinking of LJ as a "semi-private" place. It's not. It's "semi-public," with accent on "public."
And locked posts are "private" only in as much as people on your FList honors the FLock. All it takes is one to open their mouths, and that FLock is pretty damn useless unless you switch it to private (and even then...there always the chance of a screen cap getting you).
I wonder how much of this discussion you're pointing to is a generational thing.
no subject
Well, the point I was trying to make, which apparently I made badly as so far no comments have addressed it, is that you can think of LJ any way you want, public or private. I think it's public, but I can't compel anyone else to think of it that way. And I respect those who think of it as something more private, even though because *I* think it's public, I feel I shouldn't have to. It sucks I have to do that, but I do, because imo it's the mature thing to do.
I wonder how much of this discussion you're pointing to is a generational thing.
Although I don't know the ages of that many people online, from what I've seen, I doubt it.
no subject
As for the assertion that an lj is semi-private? It's not. At all. Criticizng people who have the viewpoint that posting publicly is an invitation to respond honestly is unfair. Would I be okay with criticism of a mean post because it's immature and unkind? Yes, absolutely. Would I do the same if the owner of the lj argued they had a right to expect people to respond in agreement to everything they post publicly? No way. If you're concerned that someone is going to come in and harsh your squee, then you should limit sharing of said squee to an inner circle that you know and trust.
But since I do try to be considerate of other people's feelings, I'm going to limit this comment to your lj, where I'm pretty sure you won't take offense. At least, I hope not. :-)
no subject
I agree. Which is what I meant about how being in a public place doesn't mean you can just go around being a jackass.
But that's "behaving", and when you're in someone's house, they expect even more than you just "behaving". They expect a high level or respect, some people even expect some level of deference, and they expect certain things not to be criticised. I don't have similar expectations, but my point is, I'm *still* going to give them what they want. I'm not going to go in there and disagree if that's not what they want and that's not what they posted for. They think of it as private, and I'm still going to respect that privacy they think they have even when it's on public grounds. And I'm not going to *tell* them they can't be private in a public place, because frankly I don't care what *they* do, I care what *I* do.
where I'm pretty sure you won't take offense
Of course not! :o)
no subject
I think I would be a little put off if some random stranger wandered onto my journal and started making aggressive, argumentative comments, but I'm aware that that's their right. If I didn't want people to argue with the stuff I said, I would just... not say stuff where people could see it.
no subject
For me it depends. If I had posted controversial meta and someone wanted to come in and made argumentative comments, I wouldn't be surprised; I'd even welcome it to some extent. If they started being nasty to me personally, well, that's the risk of wanting to debate about something.
If it was just a post about my life or some random bit of fannishness, I'd be a little more surprised and wondering of why someone felt the need, but eh. No big.
If I didn't want people to argue with the stuff I said, I would just... not say stuff where people could see it.
Yes. Me too.
no subject
(I'm -- not quite sure what I'm doing in mine. Something rather dull. Probably not making beds, though.)
no subject
There's way more interesting stuff going on in yours than bed-making. But I'm not sure any of us quite have actual agendas. Hey, your booth has a pretty icon! It looks Little Princess-y.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
I am the only one who hates meeting someone in a community only to find they are f-locked?
Best one I ever had was a woman who came through a friend's f'list. She came to my journalto criticise my name!!!! Nothing more - I responded - she reiterated. I told her if she'd read my journal she'd know it had been addressed - but she had clearly just come there to be rude.
She said she liked being rude THEN SHE GOT PISSED WHEN I BANNED HER WTF????
I just told her that since she wasn't interested in me or my journal being banned from it shouldn't bother her - that she liked being rude; I don't like rude people - so stop posting anonamously.
no subject
(no subject)
no subject
I have been very lucky with my own LJ. If I make a post about some ideas, and people want to disagree, that's fine. I see my LJ as a place for fun and relaxation, to toss some ideas around, have a little virtual beer and pizza (or wine and brie, depending on the mood), and it's more fun when people have manners.
It's been my observation that these problems tend to come up when an LJ engages in "drama." People who like "drama" are attracted to others' "drama" - so once it gets started, it seems to snowball. If one wants a more fun environment, maybe the key is to not let the drama get started, so not to serve as a "drama magnet."
Interesting comments!
no subject
Didn't even think of that, but yes!
People who like "drama" are attracted to others' "drama"
I think that's very true. I mean, sometimes there *is* a really random crazy out there who makes your life miserable for no reason, but most of the time, you're inviting the situation in some way, even if you don't really mean to.
I actually quite like drama. From a safe distance. When I'm in a theater, maybe!
no subject
no subject
*bans you for life*
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
I am aware that things can be taken out of context however, and if I think that's the case, I would try to explain myself better.
On my own journal, I don't care, I'm aware it's public. If you bother me too much, I'll ban you, that's all.
no subject
Me too, mostly. Except when it comes to meta, I feel like it's *there* to be argued. It doesn't seem out of place for me to follow a link on metafandom and then say, "I politely disagree; here are the flaws in your arguement". But to some people, that feels like an attack and invasion. So, I'm careful about when I do that.
If you bother me too much, I'll ban you, that's all.
That's how come I like you.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I used to be a lot more argumentative than I am these days. I like to think it's me becoming more mature, but the truth is, it's me becoming lazier.
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
no subject
no subject
We all have to behave like polite human beings, so we don't pull the tents down around our ears.
no subject
And oh my, do I love your icon!
no subject
2) Now I know why Boreanaz is afraid of fowl.
3) Your mind, I adore, and keep on wanting more.
no subject
2. You mean Dovil's turkey?
3. Likewise. *smoosh*
no subject
You say it beautifully!! And I agree.
You would think people would be able to behave when around strangers, but I think that there's something about the internet being so inpersonal (as in I am not right there in your face) that seems to leave people with the idea that they can behave however they want with no regard to anyone else feelings or beliefs. Mud gets slung, feelings get hurt, people are rude and boorish because they don't have to look anyone in the eye while they do it. The disconnect between RL and LJ is astounding.
Anyway, I'm going home to sleep more.
I might be looking for a red dress this weekend. Just in case you were wondering.
no subject
I think that's exactly it. Also, you don't have to deal with the consequences--it's much easier to walk away from your computer than from someone standing in front of you.
How're you feeling?
(no subject)
no subject
If you are going to use LJ like a diary, it's important to realize that it's not locked up in a corner of your room where no one else can see it. If you are showing the entries to people and allowing them in to comment, you have to be willing to take the comments you get and welcome the people who stop by to read.
no subject
If you want to be a total a$$hole then write in a personal diary where you aren't going to offend anyone.
(no subject)
no subject