And for fandom's next act...

[lettered]

heatherly's post supports responsible and/or thoughtful writing about concepts such as rape, incest, and pedophilia.
xanphibian's post posits that fandom behaves responsibly in regards to that kind of fic through labeling and warnings, and that the fic behind such warnings is important to us as fans and women.

xanphibian covered most of my opinions on this, but I have two additional points. The first point I want to make as someone who has never suffered any form of abuse, sexual or otherwise, who was lucky enough to never ever be touched in a wrong or uncomfortable way, who had a great childhood. And still has gangbang rape fantasies.

xanphibian made the point that fiction about rape can help survivors deal with what they had suffered. And that these stories can sometimes be extremely realistic. So far (in this particular debate) I have seen those who would have us "write responsibly" acknowledge this point. I have not seen them say every fic that has to do with rape has to deal with rape realistically. I have seen them acknowledge that this therapeutic fic is not irresponsible.

But then they go and make a distinction between this "therapeutic" fic and fic written for kink, just to get off.

I don't get the difference.

The distinction they make is that the first type of fic may be unrealistic, but it is written for a serious and important reason (therapy), by people who are serious about the topic and understand the terrible reality of it. The second type of fic is written because it is hot. These people are not serious about the topics and don't care about them, and have no understanding of these issues IRL.

I wrote an incest fic once. My primary motivation to write it was because it was hot. The boys were pretty; I wanted to smoosh them; I have a kink for fictional incest. I may've had some concepts in there about the characters and I may've been making a pretty literary painting, but I wrote it to get off. And that? Was therapeutic for me. Me getting off is a Serious And Important reason to write this stuff. Because it shames me that I have these kinks--but not when I get to explore them in a fictional setting that can't hurt anyone. Not when other women read them and get off as well, not when other women can freely admit to having and freely explore their own fantasies. Because I don't know what I'd be doing right now if I didn't have this place I felt was safe to explore my fantasies. Possibly I would be seeking out situations that are unsafe because I wouldn't have this outlet of exploration. Knowing me, more probably, I would not. I would keep it to myself, and repress, and feel sick and ugly and bad for feeling the ways I do, and because I do know me I know it would spiral in on itself and make things like my anxiety and depression so much worse than they already are.

I know that my anxiety and depression are nothing next to the trauma others have suffered. I also know that me getting off from fiction, while extremely important, is a selfish concern compared to survivors using fiction to work through their pain, fear, distrust, everything.

But because I write this stuff to get off, because I'm writing straight to the kink, because the boys are pretty or Wincest is wrong but too hot to resist, because that is the only reason I am writing this--does that automatically mean I can't also be someone serious about the issue, who understands the terrible reality of it? Does it automatically mean I can have no emotional investment in these issues? Does it automatically mean I must not be considering all the implications and ramifications of what I write and how it relates to the general public, from everyone to children to survivors to middle aged women to the vast majority who could care less? If I write my kinks to get off, does that automatically make me ignorant, cavalier, irresponsible, and completely divorced from anything serious relating to this concept in real life?

I think most of us understand that rape is terrible and horrible and very very real. Even the average Joe understands that, even if he has never experienced it for himself. If we write Wincest for the sole reason that it is hot, that doesn't mean we don't understand that it would be wrong irl, that if they were real and really brothers it would be unhealthy and emotionally damaging. What it means is we find it hot, completely separate from RL consequences.


POINT TWO. If people weren't cutting, weren't warning, if people were posting in kids' forums or at the local YMCA, it would be obvious to me that the people calling for responsibility here meant we need cuts and warnings and labels and stricter posting rules. As it is, I don't know what they're asking for. If it is showing real life consequences within our fiction, that is addressed above and quite well in xanphibian's post. If it is just that we be serious about said issues, care about them, and have an understanding of them in reality--what the hell has that got to do with my fanfic (beyond cutting, warning, labeling, posting in appropriate places)?

The distinction being made--between authors who are aware of real life consequences and those who are not, between those who write for serious reasons and those who write for kink--the distinction implies that it matters who or what the author is, that it matters why they write what they do. That makes no sense to me. It's not a reflection on the work if Lewis Carroll crushed on Alice Liddel or Byron had a suspicious relationship with his sister. More importantly, the work is not a reflection of the author. Nabokov was not a pedophile and Thomas Harris is probably not a cannibal. A story can tell everything there is to know about a real man, and also nothing at all. You cannot learn anything true about anyone's real life from a work that is purely fiction. I am not saying fiction has nothing to do with reality, but that no valid judgments can be drawn from it.

I have not seen anyone (in this particular debate) say you should be a rape victim to write fic about rape, or that you need to confess you are a rape victim on a fic about that subject matter. What I have seen, though, is people saying you need to understand the reality of rape, that it's not like what you're writing, that you need to care about it, and consider its victims and perpetrators and all the people in between. I think you need to understand the reality of rape, etc, in order to be a constructive member of human society, but I don't think you need it to write fic. As soon as anyone says, you need to be this to write that, there's an implication your personal reality is the only thing on which the fic can be built. Which in turn implies that what you write is who you are in reality.

It is not. We do not get off on rape, incest, or pedophilia. We are just as sickened and disgusted by the reality of these crimes as the next person, and more so than some.

We get off on fantasies of and fiction about rape, incest, and pedophilia, and it's entirely different. We make it entirely different, and that is why our own bodies and fantasies and minds don't constantly sicken and disgust us.

I think it's important that everyone learn about, educate themselves, trouble themselves to understand the horrors of rape, incest, pedophilia, abuse, so much more. I think it's important that we care about them, care about them intensely.

I think it's important that we ask each other to be responsible. Beg each other. Those of you who are in the trenches, inform us of the trauma and suffering of victims, leave us links to charities and shelters and places we can volunteer. Ask us to make our real lives better. I admit, sometimes I change the channel when it's about starving children, because I don't have any money to give and too often I am lazy and selfish of my time. And even though it's my right to say no, my right to choose--ask, because sometimes I choose yes, as so many do. Ask us to be responsible. Please.

Just sure as fuck don't bring my fiction into it, because I don't see how that relates. At all.

Comments

[alias_sqbr]

*quote snipped because I'm over the word limit :D*

Oh absolutely. I think it's wrong to judge someone based on a single story without context. I mean I must say there are certain types of writing where I think "I have trouble imagining how a reasonable person could write this", but I'm always open to the possibility of being wrong and wouldn't openly judge them without looking into it further.

But there are some stories where I get a very strong subtext I don't like, and while I agree I can't assume that there's not some context I'm missing or whatever, and shouldn't go around lambasting the author, I think I'm within my rights to go "To me this story reads as if..."

I mean, do you think it's ok to criticise a story for appearing to perpetuate racist or sexist tropes? While realising it may have a context you don't know, but still going "This story really comes across as..."

Also some people in this argument seem to be saying it's wrong to judge people at all, and that to call them out on their opinions (as expressed in person, not fic) is akin to censorship. Which, to me, no.

Examples of imo reasonable reader responses:
Writer: *story which comes accross as problematic*
Reader: Hi, maybe it's just me but your story comes accross as problematic
Sit 1:
Writer: Duh, it's a parody!
Reader: Oh, oops. I see.

Sit 2:
Writer: Then you're missing the point. You see....
Reader: I don't see it that way
Writer: Well, that's your perogative.
Reader: Fair enough.

Sit 3:
Writer: Yes, I did mean it that way, what's your problem?
Reader: Ok, you have opinions I find really offensive.
*dialogue continues in non-fictional setting, or maybe they just defriend each other and move on. Or whatever*

That said, I REALLY need to read a book or something about "The death of the author" because I realise there's a lot of subtle literary theory that's going right over my head. Stupid BSc, no good to me at all :)

I totally agree that the people saying "Lets just ban all stories about incest!" are bad and wrong, and that it's really rude to assume that anyone who writes a story you find offensive is some sort of amoral wierdo who needs to Be Made To Understand.

we who do write this stuff are not any more responsible for this ignorant minority than those who don't write this stuff.

Well, the difference to me is that
(a)You encounter them, we do not
(b)You're better able to understand their statements in the right context.

Which is not to say that they're your responsibility in the sense that what they do is your fault. But to the extent that your community is regulated at all, it makes sense for it to be self regulated, and thus your responsibility. Or am I missing your point?

The Spike/Buffy thing is related to a personal bugbear of mine, so be warned the rest of this comment is more me ranting than really being on topic :)

I understand Spike/Buffy stories which gloss over the Issues inherent the relationship since that could take away from the romantic fantasy etc. But I have read one or two stories which seemed to me to be explicitely impying that Spike was justified in attempting to rape Buffy because he Really Loved her. Not as part of a sexy rape fantasy, but as offhand backstory. Now maybe the author did that on purpose, and as someone not really involved in Buffy fandom I'm just missing the point. But I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about the way society (and fiction) says that if someone loves you then anything they do as a result of that love is understandable, since I used to buy into that crap myself and thus spent two years with your typical possessive Bad Boyfriend. (Said it was kinda personal :)) In this sort of case I don't think we can assume that "everyone" knows that it's not ok, since clearly they don't, and thus think it's quite plausible that the author has some subconscious issues they're not aware of and might benefit having pointed out to them. I must admit I'm not brave enought to point them out myself, partly due the the "Not in the fandom, may have missed the point" thing.