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~~ADMIN NOTE: This will be my last post. All other posts will be on my InsaneJournal. You can add my ij feed to your lj here.~~ --The Quitter

*

So, I wrote Now The Shining Sun Is Up for

hd_holidays. It's a Harry/Draco story about dealing with the long-reaching social and political effects of war.

Although it really needs so much more work, I'm kind of happy with the story. It could've been so much better, really shiny, but as it is it got across the gut of what I really wanted to get across, I think. And that was why I entered the ficathon. You know I hate ficathons and only enter them because I love Lynne and Chrislee. But I've been trying to write H/D for a whole year now, and while I have millions of pieces of things on my comp, I've yet to really spit out one whole thing. For this ficathon I started about five different stories, 30,000 wasted words all told. It was in the last two days I wrote this one, and then the mods of the fest were nice enough to let me send in my second draft (which took another week or so to write, on top of moving) to post. The final draft would've been tighter, with excess talk cut out, and a couple vital moments added--but if I'd've had the time, I wouldn't rewrite this fic, just polish it up a bit. In TKPspeak, that means I'm a bit proud of it.

In other news, it was bizarre being a part of a fest with anonymous gifts, much less in a fandom I'd never participated in. Since no one in H/D fandom knows who I am anyway, I thought it wouldn't make much difference if I was anonymous or not, and that the fest would be a good way to get the story out there without having to wave my arms and say, "look at me!" Makes it weird, though, when people think they know who wrote it. Especially if they think it was

mistful, which was flattering and also weird and also worrisome (i.e. I'm inspired by her writing! But am I "inspired" too much?). At any rate, it was pleasing and surprising the way people responded. It wasn't a mega hit or anything, but I don't really think the unpolished nature of the fic merits that. But there were people with really thoughtful comments who really appreciated what I tried to do with the story, which warms the cockles of my heart. (Not the mussels of my heart, though. Or even muscles; that's so purely clinical.) Since I've never participated in a fest like this before, and since I know no one in the fandom, it was weird to watch the comments trickle in--I kept wondering where they were coming from and who they were. Kind of like when I wrote Oroboros, the commenting on which was a surreal experience completely. In other words, I'm glad I did it, even if I've been stressing pretty much four months over it.

So, all five of you who read H/D, pls to be letting me know what you think, if you're so inclined as to read. I'll be reposting it on IJ in the next few days.

Next up is

anelith's H/D, which I <3 so much I need to stop talking about it and just finish it!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Now what exactly is a heart cockle? And can you have an arm cockle? Or a groin cockle?

Important food for thought.

There are obviously NO cockles of YOUR heart.

They probably aren't KOSHER!

Hack again?!

TKP H/D fic! *claps hands in glee*

I haven't been reading much HP fic lately, but I will definitely check it out soon, Joy! Am v.v. excited!

Aw, thanks. I'd be interested to know what you think!

I am so excited to read this!

*zooms off*

My icon belies my excitement! It should be something more like this one!

I wasn't sure weather to post here or at the actual story, but I decided here because some of this is about my long-term stalking of your journal. Basically I'm hitting myself for not knowing it was you. When I first read it (when it was posted) I went "hmm this sounds like Maya, but it can't be her. Also it's amazing and pretty much one of my favorite h/d fics ever. Who could it be?" Of course I should have know the most beautiful writing in the fest was yours, and seeing how I only found Maya and by extension h/d fandom via this journal here *sigh.* I also had the same problem reviewing that I have with all of your stories. It's so gorgeous I'm a bit scared to touch it. I don't know where to start. Which explains my inability to get back to it and give you a real review. I shall attempt one on the comment thread under the story once I finish this, hopefully. But yes, it did sound very much like Maya, and no I do not believe that is a problem. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And really isn't that what all fanfiction is? I don't hink it was "plagerized." It just had the feel of her writing: the characters, the ideas, the superb writing. But knowing that it's you I can see where it's more you and less her. Your heavy use of symbolism for one, should have been a big tip off. Basically thankyou for this, and everything else you've written in every fandom. You are one of my favorite authors, fiction or fanfiction, and I love everything you write. Keep it up.

Two nice long comments--thanks so much!

I just didn't think there'd be anyone reading the hols fics who would know me! I'm sorry, if you've commented before, I don't remember who you are (I've a mind like a steel sieve)--but I'm so glad if you found

mistful through me. Just because imo, everyone should be reading her.

I don't think anyone was accusing me of plagiarism anyway; I just worry sometimes about finding my own voice. I agree with you, though, that the symbolism seemed to me a big difference between this piece and Maya's writing, which I guess was part of the reason I was taken aback (not upset at all, just surprised and a little confused) by what some people said. Maya's a genius about laying everything out in the open with such subtlety, nothing needs to be explained. I tend to use more introspection, and symbolism is a good way of handling that kind of stuff when the style must needs be light.

I'm just so touched at all that you're saying here. Thank you for saying it. And thanks, again, for your long comment on the fic itself--you needn't ever be afraid. I love to talk about fic, writing, meta, and fannish loves we share, so drop a line any time.

I'm friending you btw, since you so obviously have good taste. ;o)

I've commented maybe once or twice on this journal, but usually I'm in far too much fangirlish awe to approach. It's silly, I know. I'm working on it. So I wouldn't expect you to remember me.

Friending me? Oh well, yay, I'm flattered. I don't think it will actually do anything. I haven't figured out how to use lj yet, so there's not much on my journal. And I haven't really felt like making an effort to try, what with fandom in a flux about where to go. And as I understand it you're leaving as well.

Alas fandom I wish to crawl out of my lurkery hole and join the party, but nobody can agree on a venue. 'Tis sad.

But thankyou for the compliment on my taste. I'm glad you think so. ;)

I just so totally identify with being new and wanting to participate and not knowing anyone. I was in various fandoms for 5 years before I found lj and really got to know people here, and it sucked knowing that there were all these people talking about stuff I was interested in and doing cool stuff with it, and not knowing a way to get "on the inside" as it were.

I'm still holding out with that hope that fandom will en masse move to its own home one day, but for now, it still seems to me that most people are sticking with lj. If you do want to get into things, that's where I'd start.

Of course, if you want to keep with the lurking, you shouldn't feel compelled to participate. I'm speaking as someone who REALLY REALLY wanted to be into things, and just didn't know how, so I might be offering advice from a different perspective than you're coming from.

The important thing is to have fun :o)

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