Writing when you're COMPLETELY OBSESSED with what you're writing . . .

[lettered]

So I finished my IWRY fic. Do I know why I am posting, since I will be posting about it again when it gets posted on my day? No. Do I care? Not really.

It was nice to write Buffy people again. Even if it was really only four Buffy people, one of which was actually an Angel people. I'm surprised I actually remember how to spell Buffy.

Anyway, I do have discussion points for you all. Don't collectively groan. Or do; I can't hear you so it doesn't matter. Here it is: I find it remarkably easier to write fanfic when I'm not knee-deep in the fandom it pertains to. I'll always love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Angel, but it's not my "thing" right now, and therefore it's easier to write. Remember Man's Best Friend? Which is one of my favorite fics I've written (and yes, I still plan on finishing, so sorry!)? I was not "in" the fandom when I wrote that. I still wanted to write Angel fanfic, obviously, but Angel was not my every waking thought, you know?

I think this is the case because I have So Serious Syndrome. SSS is characterized by general lack of humor, and grim determination. It means you cannot step back from your characters long enough to look at them, or analyze them in a way that isn't completely inside their heads. (In other words, you can't be Spike telling Batman his bat stars are ALL WRONG. <--not a link to that fic, though you should write that fic, yes you; it would be AWESOME.) Also, you're afraid to write anything less than Absolute Perfection, lest you mess them up. The thing is, "perfection", when not suffering from SSS, means a good solid fic with some good ideas and a nice structure and characters doing what they're supposed to and things. "Perfection" under the influence of SSS means that a story has to express everything you love about canon, the characters, everything you've ever thought about them too, and what your grandmother's opinion on this canon would be also, and how you'd address that.

I am suffering from SSS with the novel I am trying to write now. Well, obviously I'm not worried about canon, but I mean, I'm so worried about getting it right, even though I have a backspace button. I stress over it way too much instead of having any fun. That is why I've always hated novels and resorted to fanfic instead, but it sucks when even fanfic makes me contract SSS. I've had SSS for about 2 years now in Harry/Draco fandom, but I think since I'm in another fandom now, I may get over it. Maybe that means I'll be able to write Harry/Draco I actually like?

As for the fandom I'm in now, it's so cracktastic, I think I'm far from the danger of SSS. I had a mild case of it in the beginning, but now it's all ice cream in Commissioner Gordon's mustache, and Bruce Wayne having a daddy kink a mile wide. No one can take that seriously.

So, how 'bout y'all? Ever had SSS?

Comments

[tkp.livejournal.com]

...I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing?

I didn't mean the fic itself was serious. I meant my approach to it is. Well, the fics are usually Deep And Shit, but I try to make them have funneh, because canon has funneh, the characters have funneh, and they would not be In Character otherwise. So they crack jokes and do ridiculous things, because that's who they are.

But I am very serious about making them do that. And I never let them Say Anything They Would Not Say. But the fic I just wrote, and even Man's Best Friend, I gave them a lot freer rein, and let them go off on whatever a lot more than I usually let them, even though it didn't fit a Perfect Vision Of The Character. Even though I Did Not Know What Was Going On In Their Heads, which is usually very important to me. In fact the entire way I wrote Spike in MBF was by saying, "Okay, I don't get this character. So I'll just make him spew a bunch of stuff that doesn't make sense to me, and he might turn out alright." Whereas if I had had SSS while writing that fic, I'd've made it my mission to Understand Spike and the piece would have been an exploration of me trying to understand him.

What I ended up with in MBF and the thing I just wrote was character occasionally doing things they would not (in the one I just wrote in particular, I find Angel's actions actually implausible). But they come off as An Interesting Take On The Character. But not my One True Take, which is what I go for when I have SSS, and that ends up . . . being labored and complicated and very difficult to write, and probably not as good, in the end.

I hope that makes sense; I don't mean to dump on your comment!

[lynnenne]

I guess I take my writing pretty seriously. I always want to write the best fic that I can. And I usually do start with some kind of meta in my head, like, "What do I want to say about these characters and their relationships?" But I take a looong time to think about that stuff in my head before I even sit down to write. And when I run into problems, I take a break from the keyboard, go away and think about it for a while longer. Once I find the solution, it's not that difficult for me to get it down on paper. I've come up with solutions to fic problems while walking the dog, making my bed, brewing a cup of tea - even going to the bathroom. (More than you wanted to know. *g*)

Writing is hard, but I find that sitting down to write is the hardest thing of all. My issues have more to do with procrastination than any particular frustration with the process, or the end product.

[rahirah]

And I usually do start with some kind of meta in my head, like, "What do I want to say about these characters and their relationships?"

Yes! I'm also interested in using the relationships of the characters to reflect or comment on the Big Themes of the series and my own meta-commentary on those themes, both the ones Joss intended to put there and the ones he probably didn't.

But while that can be hard work, it's not labor in the sense I think TKP means. When I can get everything to come together - plot and theme and character arc and humor and the all-essential vampire porn becoming greater than the sum of the parts - it's glorious.

[lynnenne]

It is! There's nothing better than when it all comes together.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

The process you describe--of thinking of solutions and stuff while making the bed (except for making the bed. I never make my bed. But I mean, doing all the mundane other stuff that takes me away from writing :o)--is totally what I do when I'm swimming in the fandom and it's my thing and what I think about all the time and stuff.

If I'm not in the fandom I just don't bother to come up with solutions. I say, "uhhhh" wave my hands and insert sticky paste, and then don't care if it doesn't work out. The thing I hate is it usually does come out; I mean in the end, I don't hate it.

[lynnenne]

I use the same thinky process for everything I write, even non-fandom, work-related stuff. So I guess I have SSS all the time. *g*

[rahirah]

Maybe we're not. But I'm still thinking no, because for me, writing my One True Version of the characters isn't laborious. (And I really do have only One True Version, for the most part, since I generally write continuing series instead of lots of different what-ifs.)

Arriving at that One True Version may involve a lot of work - I felt for a long time that I didn't have a good grasp on Angel, and I don't know if my version would pass muster with people who are primarily Angel fans (probably not) but I'm happy with my version now; that's who he is in my 'verse, and I can explain why that's who he is and how I back it up with canon and all that stuff. But for me, this isn't a laborious or strained process. (Frustrating, sometimes, if there's a motivational knot I can't easily unravel, but not laborious.) I love it. I get an incredible rush when I solve a character problem in this mode - HAH YOU SNEAKY BASTARD I UNDERSTAND YOU NOW! And the better I feel I understand them, the more comfortable I am playing fast and loose with them.

I think if you're a good enough writer, you can get away with the "Oh, I'll just write X however," because you'll have picked up enough about X through your mad writerly skilz of observation to pull it off. But I can't see myself doing it that way unless I was writing total crackfic. Not just because it wouldn't occur to me, but because I don't grok the need to do it. I read your explanation of why it works for you, and I nod and smile, but part of me is still going "Buh? Don' get it."

(I'm wondering if this is partly because I don't have a hugely strict idea of What Characters Would Never Say. For me it's more like "Under What Circumstances Would They Say This, And If The Only Circumstances I Can Imagine Involve Alien Sex Pollen, Is It Really Worth The Trouble?")

[tkp.livejournal.com]

writing my One True Version of the characters isn't laborious.

Yeah, this is probably the main way we differ :o)

(Frustrating, sometimes, if there's a motivational knot I can't easily unravel, but not laborious.)

I guess I don't really see the difference. It stresses me out; I have to work out problems; sometimes I have to chip away at it or try different things to come to the answer. But, like you, when I do find the answer, it's still a rush. That's why I do it, I love the whole process. But it does feel like work to me, just--a labor of love.

But I can't see myself doing it that way unless I was writing total crackfic.

Well, that's what it feels like I'm doing when I don't have SSS. It feels like I'm writing complete crack. Because I'm not bothering to solve the problems or figure things out. I just keep writing what the hell ever! But usually because I'm not trying so hard and sweating blood or whatever, I feel like the result is actually better. And it's a fun of a different kind.

I'm wondering if this is partly because I don't have a hugely strict idea of What Characters Would Never Say. For me it's more like "Under What Circumstances Would They Say This

Oooh, interesting point. Maybe the crux: I said that in the fic I just wrote, I didn't believe Angel would do the things I made him do. That was not true. I believe he could, only, I did not do the work to get him there. Had I had my SSS thing while writing it, I would have done all that work. Because I didn't care as much, and because I was not worried about my One True Characterization, I didn't do the work to get him there. But I feel like I came up with something good, if not something I agree with completely.

Hope it doesn't sound like I'm saying, "no no no this is what I mean!" It's just interesting comparing our different methods.

[rahirah]

I guess I don't really see the difference.

I'm not sure how to describe it. I just would never use 'stressed out' to describe how I feel in that kind of situation. It's more like I'm... totally focused, maybe? Sometimes maybe over-focused, because more than once the solution to a really tough problem has come when I take a break and think about something else. But it's not an unpleasant state of mind. I like it. I'm in the grooooooove, and if anything, I'm irritated when the real world comes knocking and I have to get out of it.

I also get like that when I'm solving other kinds of problems - trying to figure out a computer glitch, or an Excel formula. Possibly that means something. Also it occurs to me that I don't actually write crackfic. I write stuff which is intended to be silly and funny and 'not really part of the story' like Barb!Brain Theatre, but I don't write what fandom commonly describes as crackfic. So I don't really have an impetus to develop a different set of writing habits for it, I guess.

Does it matter if you show your work? Because it sounds to me like you're doing the work somewhere in the back of your brain, whether you're writing it all down or not.