lettered | Time in the world (to talk)

I’m talkative. When I was little, my Dad gave us a word per week in the summer. They ended up each pertaining to qualities about us. My oldest brother got something that meant glum and moody. All my next oldest brother’s were words such as, “erudite”. (My mom begged for a word; he only gave her one: callipygous.) Mine for the summer were these: loquacious, verbose, garrulous, and gesticulate (I talked even when my mouth wasn’t moving).

Whenever I get on AIM, or any chatting device, I end up talking to people I haven’t talked to in years. This is a many splendid thing, except that it takes approximately nine hours, and by the time all the conversation windows get clicked closed, I’m still not done:
1) With the dishes
2) With my writing
3) With my laundry
4) Watching Important Things, such as James Harriot and 80s baseball anime
5) Talking to friends I haven’t talked to in years.

The end result? I do not get on AIM. I do not chat. I do not pass go.

Most things end up being like this with me. The other day at movie night, I had all sorts of thoughts about the movie! But lots of people were talking, and my thoughts were long, and complicated, and very involved, and mostly for the ears of

my_daroga and Mr. Daroga. The point is though, I ended up not saying anything, because I knew it would take too long, and that the kind of discussion I wanted would not result from it.

I do this with lj. I have a million things I could post about, but don’t, because it will take too long. I feel like I’m wasting time; I feel in the end I still won’t say what I mean anyway; I feel people won’t read it because it’s too long; I won’t have time for the discussion because it will be too involved, etc etc. It’s part of my weird lj neurosis, which I believe I have discussed elsewhere.

It makes me sad. LJ is particularly cool because I think you can have the involved conversations I want to have on it. The formatting is fine for long discussion, plus the people here are thoughtful, and when they’re not, I don’t have to know that they didn’t listen to me. I don’t have to see blank faces or people trying to politely disengage from the conversation; I just get people not commenting. Which is fine! Furthermore all this gets recorded, both my insanely long thoughts and people’s insanely long thoughts back. It is perfect for me in so many ways!

Anyway, what I’ve decided to do is try to spend 15 minutes a day making a post. I spent 15 minutes on this one, and even though it’s stressing me out to cut it off here, maybe it will inspire me to keep going, and finally get some thoughts out. Some of it is writing, some fanfic, lots of thoughts about writing, and life in general. It may turn out to be fairly boring, but maybe I won’t feel such regret about having this wonderful tool and not using it appropriately.

. . . Watch me only do the 15 minute thing until tomorrow. I guess it’s worth the effort.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sweetiecakes! Go for it! Write, be verbose, go on tangents. This is LJ-land. This is, as you say, where you can do it. And knowing you and your LJ, people will respond and I'll show up days too late and five bucks too short (as seems to be my habit) with some asinine and completely irrelevant response.

I'm having the opposite problem because I know that people don't really read my journal so I keep thinking, what's the point of posting what's not getting read. But then I think: Practice! And that's good, too. As an exercise in working out thoughts and theories, even without the sounding board to bounce ideas back and flesh out theories and worm out the wormy, hole-y bits. And then, every now and again, someone will comment and my brain has to work.

So, post, jeune fille. Post! Write long, thinky, drawn out things. Even if its only 15 minutes worth of thoughts, I think, people will come and read and comment. If you haven't noticed, it's always a party and a good time when you show back up. WE MISS you and your brain when you're away being shy and unsure.

OK? Ok.

I <3 you, L.

I never think you're short a cent, and in fact cash in way more than some things I say deserve, and I never think you're asinine or irrelevant either. It makes me sad you think so, because I always value your comments and really think about what you say!

But I do know the feeling of getting to an lj-party too late, and then no one but the OP sees your comment, and it doesn't feel as discussiony that way.

It may not be very many, but people totally read your journal, too. I have the old!fics you posted tabbed to read on my day off tomorrow--though I think I've already read two of them, on your website. Anywho, due for a reread, and I'm getting you your comments on your fic tomorrow! (Am looking forward to a day off of doing Cool Things and not Errand Things. Also not Sick Things which was my last day off!) Anywho I say this because I am thinking of my_daroga, and how periodically we talk about our flists, and how you've come up quite a few times in conversations and--well, we're both fully updated as far as your journal goes ;o)

But I can understand how lack of commentage can be depressing :o(

I miss lj too! And getting thoughts out. I used to do this thing in highschool where I'd write a lot of my thinky reflective thoughts in a journal, and a lot about writing technique too. What is interesting is it was intensely personal for me, but not necessarily private. I post the same sorts of stuff here, or have in the past. So I figure . . . obviously part of me needs to do this, so why not here, where I can get other thoughts to build off of, esp. when the people I know here have such cool thoughts, and I can have it typed and hyperlinked to boot!

Anywho, I think we should both agree to just talk, and talk, because we are cool when we talk. We think of amazing things! And I think we are a dynamic duo, personally. Because you have amazing thinky posts and I have thinky posts and then we both do long thinky comments, and we're like a think tank, L, a veritable think tank, and our think shall TAKE OVER THE WORLD . . . or at least entertain us, of an eve ;o)

OK!

Time in the world (to talk)

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