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Genderswap Pride and Prejudice
So, I really want to do a Pride and Prejudice fic wherein all the Bennet girls are boys, everyone else is the gender they are in the book, and both Mr. Darcy and Mr. Lizzy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
my_daroga and I think Lawrence) are gay.
Mrs. Bennet would still be trying to marry off all her sons, except for Jane (John?). She doesn't care about John, because John will get Longbourne. Next!
She loathes the idea of Bingley taking Netherfield, and loathes the idea of Bingley's five thousand pounds, because a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of exactly what her sons are in want of, and they are not in possession of large fortunes.
Charlotte Lucas and Lizzy (Lawrence?) are still BFF. Charlotte knows he's queer as a . . . queer person, but wouldn't mind marrying him to be his beard. But neither of them have any money, so no go.
Besides, Lawrence doesn't want a beard. He isn't interested in marriage, because John knows all about him and wouldn't mind having him live at Longbourne, and Lawrence doesn't appreciate the idea of lying to everyone more than he already has to.
Lawrence still very much appreciates dancing with women, however, and is still annoyed by Mr. Darcy's comment at the Meryton Assembly. Perhaps Mr. Bingley was suggesting Darcy ask Charlotte Lucas to dance, and it is she who isn't handsome enough to tempt him; Lawrence can be upset on his friend's behalf. There might even be Mr. Darcy--who does not appreciate dancing with women--saying something like, "You know I prefer intelligent conversation." Which Bingley understands, because Bingley knows Darcy is gay.
And Bingley saying, "Excellent! Let's invite some of those fine chaps over for shooting! That one over there, for instance; he seems clever enough." That one over there, for instance, being Lawrence.
And Darcy tells Charles not to be ridiculous, for all these country folk are ignorant fellows who can only think about farming.
Then the insult is still directed Lawrence's way.
Then Mr. Bingley invites John for shooting. Possibly he invites Lawrence too, but Lawrence isn't keen on hanging out with Mr. Darcy and Mr. Hurst, though the Bingley fellow is a bit of alright. Either that, or Mr. Bingley invites John for shooting because Caroline prompts him to. Caroline, you see, has a thing for John. A very ungenderbent!P&P!Mr.Darcy thing for John, in that Caroline knows she could "do better"--Longbourne is not such a fine prospect ("and the mother!") and she still thinks she has a chance with Mr. Darcy--but Caroline totally has a crush anyway.
So, John and Bingley (Hurst and Darcy in tow) go shooting, and they delight each other endlessly.
Bingley: Such fine hunting you have in these parts!
John: I do enjoy a good hunt.
Darcy: . . . We haven't shot a one.
Bingley: But there are very friendly people here.
John: It is wonderful to meet new people.
Bingley: And look! Pine trees!
John: They smell most refreshing.
Bingley: You're right! The country air is so fresh!
John: Nothing like a bit of country air.
Bingley: And look! A farm over yonder!
John: It almost looks like a painting.
Bingley: Or a pastoral! How charming.
John: Poetry, I absolutely agree. Down to the ducks on the lake.
Bingley: Ducks! On a lake!
John: They are divinely quaint.
Bingley: What could be more agreeable?
Darcy: . . . the ducks are flying away.
Of course, they hunt quail or something, right? But I wanted to use that Agent Cooper line.
Bingley, by the way, is terrifically straight, as is John, and Darcy thinks it's a bloody shame because they are both beautiful and grinning at each other like madmen; they would go brilliantly together; straight men are all bloody annoying.
Then someone's gun wildly misfires, and John gets shot in the shoulder. Which just goes to show, one should never play with guns. (He gets better.)
So Lawrence comes to visit his brother, and is stuck there visiting with the Bingleys, Hursts, and Mr. Darcy. Mrs. Bennet is of course thrilled by this, as she has probably decided by now that Miss Bingley is a perfect match for Lawrence. Miss Bingley does attempt to flirt mercilessly with Lawrence by way of making Mr. Darcy jealous, but Lawrence is fairly adept at navigating her wiles, which Mr. Darcy admires, meanwhile discovering that Lawrence is not at all an ignorant fellow who can only think of farming.
Kitty (Christopher?) and Lydia (Billy?) are officers in the regiment at Meryton, so John and Lawrence meet Wickham while visiting their brothers.
Wickham and Darcy used to fuck when they were teenagers, and Wickham still pulled all the same stunts, including the one with Georgiana, which nearly made Darcy blow a gasket. But he knows Wickham did it to get at him and his money, not because Wickham had suddenly gone over heterosexual or bi; anyway, the point is, Wickham's as queer as they come too. So seeing Wickham with Lawrence still makes him go green all over.
But no one but John and Charlotte know Lawrence is gay, and no one but Darcy (. . . and a string of young men) know Wickham is, so when Wickham tells Lawrence his tragic past, he leaves out the part about fucking Darcy. Lawrence is still offended on Wickham's behalf, thinks Darcy's a tool, and totally has a crush on Wickham.
Wickham drops some hints and Lawrence begins to suspect he might swing his way. (He might also have a suspicion about the Darcy/Wickham, and thinks Darcy is the worst sort of man who will use another boy for his own pleasure and then hang him out to dry for it, because he can't even admit to himself what he is, like rich men with means sometimes do to boys beneath them.) But then there is still Miss King.
Mrs. Bennet call Miss King a lovely, freckled thing, and wants Mary (Martin?) to go for her, seeing as how Lawrence is already taken up by Miss Bingley. The thing is, Wickham goes for Miss King, too, and Lawrence is disappointed. But, just like girl!Lizzy, Lawrence is very practical and realizes not everyone has his family situation, with John to support him; some men still need a means of living; besides which some men still want to appear "normal".
Lawrence is totally alright with this. It's just not for him, or for the person he wishes he could find to spend his life with. He knows he's not being very realistic, for it would be hard for two men to work out being together without being married and without getting suspicion cast upon them, but he still wants to find someone who could give it a go with him, especially someone who is smart and awesome and wants to hunt together and fish together and go swimming together, and not just fuck all day long, which Lawrence has done before and it is very nice, but fishing!
So when Wickham fails to get Miss King, Lawrence still forgives him, but he's no longer really interested, though Wickham tries to pick up where they left off. Then the regiment is gone from Meryton, and the Bennets are gone from the regiment.
What I still haven't figured out yet is how to get Lawrence off to Rosings. I don't think Mr. Collins would visit if he hadn't planned on marrying one of the Bennets. BUT! If Mr. Collins didn't inherit Longbourne, he might not even be under the patronage of the noble Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He might have tried for something with more money in it. In fact, he might have been part of the regiment as well. Heaven save us.
If he is part of the regiment, he could still claim kinship with the Bennets. He might even have been clergyman at Hunsford, and decided to go in for something with more money? This seems not a safe venture, as Hunsford is quite a nice little living, but we really have no idea what Mr. Collins would do were he not to inherit Longbourne. Anyway, this way he could still embarrass everybody by approaching Mr. Darcy, and perhaps Lady Catherine has sent him to Longbourne to fetch her a new clergyman.
After all. Martin is taking orders, and needs a living. So perhaps Lawrence could go to Hunsford with Martin to get him settled in, and thus they meet up with Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy.
Of course Mr. Darcy still goes to Hunsford when Lawrence says he has a headache. There he tries to suss out whether Lawrence is interested. When at last Lawrence figures out what Darcy is doing, he tells him he's an asshole and to get the hell away from him, very much the same language as girl!Lizzy.
Darcy writes his letter. I want it to include Darcy convincing Caroline to forget John, but for Lawrence to be mad about that, John would have had to have had some interest in Caroline, and I can't see John caring for Caroline unless Caroline shapes up, beautiful!grounds!at!Pemberley style. So, hmm. Though I could see Lawrence being pissed about Darcy making John's decision for him out of hand, even if John didn't really give two figs for Caroline.
It's easy enough to still have Lawrence visit Pemberley.
I'm stuck on what Darcy helps him with in the end, though, to prove his ardor. Billy and Wickham could run off, but no one's going worry about two blokes gone out. My first thought was WICKHAM HAS A VENEREAL DISEASE, but that's not something Darcy could really help out with. Thenmy_daroga suggested Billy could pull a Wickham, i.e. run off with some helpless girl (Miss King?), but one thing I like about the Lydia/Wickham thing is Darcy is being nice, yes, but he also feels a personal responsibility about Wickham. Also, it's not going to reflect as badly on Lawrence if his brother is a cad as it does on women.
I thought maybe Wickham and Billy could be caught in flagrante delicto, and possibly be brought up on charges of sodomy. Darcy could bribe someone to get Billy released, but that has this icky flavor of covering up sodomy, while one thing I want to work with on Lawrence is that yeah, he has to cover up who he is, but he wants to be as honest about it as possible, especially with people he loves. But of course anti-sodomy laws are horrible, and the least horrible thing to do in a situation like that is do whatever you can about those laws not getting enforced. Maybe Darcy sullying his hands enough to get involved in a sodomy case, which might cause people to suspect he has a reason for defending sodomy, is enough for Lawrence to say, "here's someone who owns up to what he is," which is what Lawrence wants.
Then there's mad sex to be had an Georgiana has never seen her brother happier!
There's what is to be done about Charlotte--does she marry Bingley, or Martin? I think the idea of Bingley is interesting, and her showing more affection, even than she feels. She would resolve upon things, and not let servants cheat them, and they would never exceed their income!
And what is to be done about John--does he marry Caroline, or Georgiana?
Nor am I sure about the names. John and Martin are obvious, but Lawrence still doesn't seem quite right, and Billy and Christopher were rather arbitrary. Suggestions welcome! For a day way in the future when I will start to write this, and not finish, just like always.
my_daroga and I think Lawrence) are gay.Mrs. Bennet would still be trying to marry off all her sons, except for Jane (John?). She doesn't care about John, because John will get Longbourne. Next!
She loathes the idea of Bingley taking Netherfield, and loathes the idea of Bingley's five thousand pounds, because a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of exactly what her sons are in want of, and they are not in possession of large fortunes.
Charlotte Lucas and Lizzy (Lawrence?) are still BFF. Charlotte knows he's queer as a . . . queer person, but wouldn't mind marrying him to be his beard. But neither of them have any money, so no go.
Besides, Lawrence doesn't want a beard. He isn't interested in marriage, because John knows all about him and wouldn't mind having him live at Longbourne, and Lawrence doesn't appreciate the idea of lying to everyone more than he already has to.
Lawrence still very much appreciates dancing with women, however, and is still annoyed by Mr. Darcy's comment at the Meryton Assembly. Perhaps Mr. Bingley was suggesting Darcy ask Charlotte Lucas to dance, and it is she who isn't handsome enough to tempt him; Lawrence can be upset on his friend's behalf. There might even be Mr. Darcy--who does not appreciate dancing with women--saying something like, "You know I prefer intelligent conversation." Which Bingley understands, because Bingley knows Darcy is gay.
And Bingley saying, "Excellent! Let's invite some of those fine chaps over for shooting! That one over there, for instance; he seems clever enough." That one over there, for instance, being Lawrence.
And Darcy tells Charles not to be ridiculous, for all these country folk are ignorant fellows who can only think about farming.
Then the insult is still directed Lawrence's way.
Then Mr. Bingley invites John for shooting. Possibly he invites Lawrence too, but Lawrence isn't keen on hanging out with Mr. Darcy and Mr. Hurst, though the Bingley fellow is a bit of alright. Either that, or Mr. Bingley invites John for shooting because Caroline prompts him to. Caroline, you see, has a thing for John. A very ungenderbent!P&P!Mr.Darcy thing for John, in that Caroline knows she could "do better"--Longbourne is not such a fine prospect ("and the mother!") and she still thinks she has a chance with Mr. Darcy--but Caroline totally has a crush anyway.
So, John and Bingley (Hurst and Darcy in tow) go shooting, and they delight each other endlessly.
Bingley: Such fine hunting you have in these parts!
John: I do enjoy a good hunt.
Darcy: . . . We haven't shot a one.
Bingley: But there are very friendly people here.
John: It is wonderful to meet new people.
Bingley: And look! Pine trees!
John: They smell most refreshing.
Bingley: You're right! The country air is so fresh!
John: Nothing like a bit of country air.
Bingley: And look! A farm over yonder!
John: It almost looks like a painting.
Bingley: Or a pastoral! How charming.
John: Poetry, I absolutely agree. Down to the ducks on the lake.
Bingley: Ducks! On a lake!
John: They are divinely quaint.
Bingley: What could be more agreeable?
Darcy: . . . the ducks are flying away.
Of course, they hunt quail or something, right? But I wanted to use that Agent Cooper line.
Bingley, by the way, is terrifically straight, as is John, and Darcy thinks it's a bloody shame because they are both beautiful and grinning at each other like madmen; they would go brilliantly together; straight men are all bloody annoying.
Then someone's gun wildly misfires, and John gets shot in the shoulder. Which just goes to show, one should never play with guns. (He gets better.)
So Lawrence comes to visit his brother, and is stuck there visiting with the Bingleys, Hursts, and Mr. Darcy. Mrs. Bennet is of course thrilled by this, as she has probably decided by now that Miss Bingley is a perfect match for Lawrence. Miss Bingley does attempt to flirt mercilessly with Lawrence by way of making Mr. Darcy jealous, but Lawrence is fairly adept at navigating her wiles, which Mr. Darcy admires, meanwhile discovering that Lawrence is not at all an ignorant fellow who can only think of farming.
Kitty (Christopher?) and Lydia (Billy?) are officers in the regiment at Meryton, so John and Lawrence meet Wickham while visiting their brothers.
Wickham and Darcy used to fuck when they were teenagers, and Wickham still pulled all the same stunts, including the one with Georgiana, which nearly made Darcy blow a gasket. But he knows Wickham did it to get at him and his money, not because Wickham had suddenly gone over heterosexual or bi; anyway, the point is, Wickham's as queer as they come too. So seeing Wickham with Lawrence still makes him go green all over.
But no one but John and Charlotte know Lawrence is gay, and no one but Darcy (. . . and a string of young men) know Wickham is, so when Wickham tells Lawrence his tragic past, he leaves out the part about fucking Darcy. Lawrence is still offended on Wickham's behalf, thinks Darcy's a tool, and totally has a crush on Wickham.
Wickham drops some hints and Lawrence begins to suspect he might swing his way. (He might also have a suspicion about the Darcy/Wickham, and thinks Darcy is the worst sort of man who will use another boy for his own pleasure and then hang him out to dry for it, because he can't even admit to himself what he is, like rich men with means sometimes do to boys beneath them.) But then there is still Miss King.
Mrs. Bennet call Miss King a lovely, freckled thing, and wants Mary (Martin?) to go for her, seeing as how Lawrence is already taken up by Miss Bingley. The thing is, Wickham goes for Miss King, too, and Lawrence is disappointed. But, just like girl!Lizzy, Lawrence is very practical and realizes not everyone has his family situation, with John to support him; some men still need a means of living; besides which some men still want to appear "normal".
Lawrence is totally alright with this. It's just not for him, or for the person he wishes he could find to spend his life with. He knows he's not being very realistic, for it would be hard for two men to work out being together without being married and without getting suspicion cast upon them, but he still wants to find someone who could give it a go with him, especially someone who is smart and awesome and wants to hunt together and fish together and go swimming together, and not just fuck all day long, which Lawrence has done before and it is very nice, but fishing!
So when Wickham fails to get Miss King, Lawrence still forgives him, but he's no longer really interested, though Wickham tries to pick up where they left off. Then the regiment is gone from Meryton, and the Bennets are gone from the regiment.
What I still haven't figured out yet is how to get Lawrence off to Rosings. I don't think Mr. Collins would visit if he hadn't planned on marrying one of the Bennets. BUT! If Mr. Collins didn't inherit Longbourne, he might not even be under the patronage of the noble Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He might have tried for something with more money in it. In fact, he might have been part of the regiment as well. Heaven save us.
If he is part of the regiment, he could still claim kinship with the Bennets. He might even have been clergyman at Hunsford, and decided to go in for something with more money? This seems not a safe venture, as Hunsford is quite a nice little living, but we really have no idea what Mr. Collins would do were he not to inherit Longbourne. Anyway, this way he could still embarrass everybody by approaching Mr. Darcy, and perhaps Lady Catherine has sent him to Longbourne to fetch her a new clergyman.
After all. Martin is taking orders, and needs a living. So perhaps Lawrence could go to Hunsford with Martin to get him settled in, and thus they meet up with Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy.
Of course Mr. Darcy still goes to Hunsford when Lawrence says he has a headache. There he tries to suss out whether Lawrence is interested. When at last Lawrence figures out what Darcy is doing, he tells him he's an asshole and to get the hell away from him, very much the same language as girl!Lizzy.
Darcy writes his letter. I want it to include Darcy convincing Caroline to forget John, but for Lawrence to be mad about that, John would have had to have had some interest in Caroline, and I can't see John caring for Caroline unless Caroline shapes up, beautiful!grounds!at!Pemberley style. So, hmm. Though I could see Lawrence being pissed about Darcy making John's decision for him out of hand, even if John didn't really give two figs for Caroline.
It's easy enough to still have Lawrence visit Pemberley.
I'm stuck on what Darcy helps him with in the end, though, to prove his ardor. Billy and Wickham could run off, but no one's going worry about two blokes gone out. My first thought was WICKHAM HAS A VENEREAL DISEASE, but that's not something Darcy could really help out with. Then
my_daroga suggested Billy could pull a Wickham, i.e. run off with some helpless girl (Miss King?), but one thing I like about the Lydia/Wickham thing is Darcy is being nice, yes, but he also feels a personal responsibility about Wickham. Also, it's not going to reflect as badly on Lawrence if his brother is a cad as it does on women. I thought maybe Wickham and Billy could be caught in flagrante delicto, and possibly be brought up on charges of sodomy. Darcy could bribe someone to get Billy released, but that has this icky flavor of covering up sodomy, while one thing I want to work with on Lawrence is that yeah, he has to cover up who he is, but he wants to be as honest about it as possible, especially with people he loves. But of course anti-sodomy laws are horrible, and the least horrible thing to do in a situation like that is do whatever you can about those laws not getting enforced. Maybe Darcy sullying his hands enough to get involved in a sodomy case, which might cause people to suspect he has a reason for defending sodomy, is enough for Lawrence to say, "here's someone who owns up to what he is," which is what Lawrence wants.
Then there's mad sex to be had an Georgiana has never seen her brother happier!
There's what is to be done about Charlotte--does she marry Bingley, or Martin? I think the idea of Bingley is interesting, and her showing more affection, even than she feels. She would resolve upon things, and not let servants cheat them, and they would never exceed their income!
And what is to be done about John--does he marry Caroline, or Georgiana?
Nor am I sure about the names. John and Martin are obvious, but Lawrence still doesn't seem quite right, and Billy and Christopher were rather arbitrary. Suggestions welcome! For a day way in the future when I will start to write this, and not finish, just like always.