Cesspit of Love

[lettered]

Mush! Only click if you're in the mood for an orgy, an outpouring of love, sap, a hug, puppies, or some combination thereof:



I love fandom.

I love fanart. I love that I have to look at DB asking me to fuck him whenever I talk to certain people. I love that some artists can make me think young pretty skinny boys are hot. I love that I have seen Spike wearing clothes he should never wear. I love that I have seen Spike not wearing clothes.

I love fandom wank. Not the journalfen site, per se, but wank in general. I don’t like seeing people being stupid, or people getting hurt, but I love how fandom can erupt in a matter of hours and simmer back down by next Tuesday. I am one of the least gossipy people I know, but frankly, I love getting the ground-floor dirt when a wank is happening.

I love fanfiction. I love trying to figure out why anyone would ever write Oz/Snyder. I love all-human soap opera fics that make me wonder why I read them. I love reading something that could be canon. I love reading things that make me say, “I wish I wrote this well.” I love writing things that make me say, “Damn. I’m good.”

I love strangers. I love friending new people; I love meeting different people; I love finding out someone loves the stories or characters I love. I love looking at strangers’ interest lists and finding things like, “suction” and “when penguins go wild” and “Richard Simmons/Madonna.”

I love lj. I’ve been in and out of online fandoms for 5 years, and I always knew there had to be some huge secret I was missing out on—a place where fans obsessed, authors encouraged each other, kerfluffles and wars went on, meta was metatated, and a community, with all its wonders and depravities, existed. I always felt I was on the outside looking in, like a waif in a Dickens novel. Now I feel like I know where it’s at, and what’s more, I’ve only ever felt welcomed.

I love fan wars. I don’t like people being closed minded, and I don’t like participating. And frankly, I don’t like that they happen. But I love that people get worked up over their ‘ship or their character or what have you, because to be honest, it makes me feel better about being so obsessive. I also like to read over old flame-ridden conversations and laugh at people being stupid. Yes, I'm mean. And arrogant. Close the door, and do it some time. It’s fun.

I love smut. I love that reading can turn me on. I love that writing can turn me on. I love that fandom makes me more comfortable with this fact. I love that I can say I wrote my first piece of smut when I was 11 (I burned it afterwards, and yes, it was fanfiction), and that the thought of women sitting around writing about fictional character orgies makes me realize that wasn’t wrong at all.

I love slash. I love how people seem to be arguing about it all the time. I love that I didn’t find it sexy at first and that that has changed. And I love the term “gay vampire porn.” I love that dead men are hot together.

I love critique. I love that people always seem to be arguing about critique, too. I love that there are betas and people seriously interested in better fic for all. I love that there are people who don’t care a fig for crit and will always write what they please. I love that there are so many badly spelled, badly characterized, badly everythinged fics out there, or else I would feel like I was missing something if I didn’t read every single thing.

I love my f-list. I love how I can say, “hey guys, look at this!” and you will. I love hearing about your personal lives, even though I rarely comment on them. I love it when you’re boring the hell out of me with things I could care less about, because it forces me to go find something interesting or useful to do with myself. I love how kind some of you are, how clever others of you are, how wonderful all of you seem. I love how getting to know some of you just a little makes my life seem better.

I love meta. I love both meta about canon and meta about fandom. I love that people think and care enough about the characters to say thoughtful things about them, and I love that that makes me think in ways I might not have thought before. And I love that people talk about fandom, how strange it is, how stupid, how silly, how insignificant, how wonderful, how warm, how diverse depraved delightful dark damn cool it is.

I love fandom. I love that some people outside fandom don’t understand fandom. I love that some people inside fandom hate fandom. I think they’re crazy, but I love that they’re there. I love that some people complain about fandom, and can’t seem to see the irony, fun, joy, and pure unaldulterated love that is true wallowing in fandom’s foolishness, fantastickness, and um, fuck, I can’t think of another one. At this point, I’m not even sure why I love them. I just do.

Because, have I mentioned? I love fandom.

Comments

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Who knew you were such a mushlet?

And yeah, LJ and fandom - perfect together.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I am mush to the bone, and then the bone is more mush. I just try to hide it, most of the time.

[terilyn4.livejournal.com]

Wow, what you been smoking? (just kidding) I have seen so much love pouring out in ...... well ever! If I was honest, I'd admit what you wrote is what I love about the fandom too. I love every good, bad and ugly part because without the bad and ugly, the good might not show up as how good it really is. Did that sentence make sense? :-P

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Wow, what you been smoking?

I did have two margaritas. Also, time of month. Squishy lovechild before bitchqueen from hell, I always say. Actually, I never said that until just now, but it fits.

Did that sentence make sense? :-P

It makes perfect sense, because that's how I feel about the world in general. But in fandom? I don't just love the bad stuff because it makes the good stuff better. Irl, people being stupid, arguing, not accepting other people's opinions, etc makes me sad, uncomfortable, angry, hurt. In fandom, it makes me laugh. I actually get a kick out of it. I actively look for fan wars sometimes, in order to read over them just for entertainment. I am sick, sick.

And I love it. Have I said that?

[violaclaire.livejournal.com]

Yay fandom love! I've been staring at college brochures for the past twelve hours, and almost applied to Texas A&M because they sent me a letter with pretty colors, so an outpouring of fandom love? Exactly what I needed.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

A&M! Ha! I know a whole mess of Aggie jokes if you ever decide to apply (I live in Houston. I've known plenty of Aggies.) Where are you thinking about applying? Do you mind saying? Or haven't you narrowed it down enough to know? I ask because I'm nosy.

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

That left me feeling good and sappy; thank you! ::loves on you::

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Since you were one of the (if not THE) first persons to make me feel welcome in this one and on lj: *loves on you particularly hard*

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Imightbealittleinlovewithyouafterthispost.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

A little bit? Dude, after all that lovin'? Your heart is cold. Cold and hard.

*loves hard cold you*

*loves hard coldroom temperature body parts*

*distracted*

[marenfic.livejournal.com]

You are such a sap! If you hadn't already met southernbangel I'd introduce you. I'll bet you like Air Supply as much as she does. . .


:) This post made me smile. What a great homage to fandom in general. It's wonderful when we can love the bad, in its own special way, along with the good.

<----and an icon for your enjoyment.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I've never listened to Air Supply. But, believe it or not, I actually don't much like happy music. But please do not let this ruin my image of being a great big sap. Because I so am.

And that icon (and ba4ever's below) was one of the one's on my mind. Did I mention I love fandom? And fanart? And DB? And sex? And DB in a wet shirt with sex?

*happy bein' sappy*

[makd.livejournal.com]

I love fandom.

And we love you, Sweetie. MWAH! (dinah shore kiss):-)

[lynnenne]

*loves all over you*

[ba4ever.livejournal.com]

love fanart. I love that I have to look at DB asking me to fuck him whenever I talk to certain people.

*G*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Damn, he's not asking; he's telling.

*loves*

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

OMG! You are my sap twin!! As marenfic said above, I do like the sap.

I love you this post. I love that you wrote it. I love that you are on my flist and I get to read posts like this.

*loves*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I love that you read it. I love that you responded. I love that you are on my flist and read post like this and love me back.

*loves*

*dies due to glut of sap*

*loves it*

[stultiloquentia.livejournal.com]

I love this post.

[semby.livejournal.com]

I love fandom. I love this post. I love the word metatated, and the fact that you're the type of person who would use such a word.

I love that adding to the comments here makes me feel like I'm joining some sort of virtual group hug.

Thank you for sharing the love!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I love the word metatated too. I also love that you're the kinda person that would pick my newly coined word out from the midst of all this fandom fondling.

Be prepared for tomorrow, when we shall sit around a campfire and sing Kum-ba-ya. And the day after that we shall drive to the desert and do the hokey pokey until a spooky Rasta-mama slayer arrives and speaks to us in riddles.

Comment + Shameless pimp.

[alwaysjbj.livejournal.com]

Hee hee... that was pretty cool!!! So here is where I say... "hey, look at this!"

(http://www.livejournal.com/community/good__evil/)
If you are a reader or a writer of the BtVs or AtS worlds please come and check us out!

/ shameless pimp.

Re: Comment + Shameless pimp.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Looks like a cool idea for a community. I'll keep my eye on it!

*loves shamelessness*

[m-phoenix.livejournal.com]

I love this post. Reading it has just reminded why I'm still so in love with fandom and LJ. Little did I suspect when I innocently wandered into LJ land a year and a half ago that it was going totake over my life be such a big influence on me. Ah, now I feel all warm and mushy inside. Thank you *g*

[scribesds.livejournal.com]

I feel better already! Fandom is good! (I'm English - don't expect gushing from me!)

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

Geesh. I was gonna say that.

[mshepnj.livejournal.com]

Aw shucks. Now I feel all tingly basking in the delicious mushy sappiness. Yum! I'm in love with you love-affair with the fandom.

I love slash. I love how people seem to be arguing about it all the time. I love that I didn’t find it sexy at first and that that has changed. And I love the term “gay vampire porn.” I love that dead men are hot together.

Yeah, and this was an eye-opener for me. I remember back in College preparing to write a paper on something (masculinity in American culture or something). I mentioned liking the idea of slash (although I didn't know that term then) to a few other women in my study group. The reaction was... dead stares and - I think - some fear in their eyes. I felt like a freak. Little did I know that so many intelligent, creative, witty women understand and appreciate this. I'm in good company and would never have known except for this fandom.

I love fan wars. I don’t like people being closed minded, and I don’t like participating. And frankly, I don’t like that they happen. But I love that people get worked up over their ‘ship or their character or what have you, because to be honest, it makes me feel better about being so obsessive. I also like to read over old flame-ridden conversations and laugh at people being stupid. Yes, I'm mean. And arrogant. Close the door, and do it some time. It’s fun.


I admit that this is a problem for me at times. I'm not above mocking and laughing at some of the stupidity that comes from hostility about these things, but when friends fight amongst themselves about something like this in a public, it upsets me a lot. My hangup, probably, but I can't help it.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I mentioned liking the idea of slash (although I didn't know that term then) to a few other women in my study group. The reaction was... dead stares and - I think - some fear in their eyes. I felt like a freak.

I made the mistake of mentioning it to my mother recently.

*headdesk*

I'm not above mocking and laughing at some of the stupidity that comes from hostility about these things, but when friends fight amongst themselves about something like this in a public, it upsets me a lot. My hangup, probably, but I can't help it.

No. I can say this so easily because I've never had close friends involved in a war. And I admit, there are times when people get so downright nasty it's still upsetting, even with the internet buffer. Actually, there was a wank a while back that seemed to amuse a lot of people, but personally worried me very much because I thought people were getting hurt. But if there have to be stupid things like fandom wars, I'm going to try to laugh them off most of the time, and love what there is to love about them (mainly their stupidity). It's all we can do, really.

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

...but I love how fandom can erupt in a matter of hours and simmer back down by next Tuesday. Oh, how I love that, too. Popcorn time! And then - it's over. Only to creep back up a few weeks later with a new twist.

I love this post.

[alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com]

I love this post! LOVE.

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

Now that was fun. Who doesn't want to get the love on a lazy Sunday? Mmmm...now that I'm all loved up I'm gonna go write smut. Life is good. Don't know you yet, but I love you right back.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

*pokes head up*

Smut? You're so getting friended.

And dude, not that kind of poke.

*smoochies*

[stretfordditto.livejournal.com]

It's a blast innit? I luvs James Marsters 'cos if not for him I would not have discovered the internuts internets. :D

Re: *smoochies*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

JM's nuts.

*happy place*

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

I remember watching Buffy for the first time. I remember getting hooked in, and watching some more. I remember watching and watching and watching until I had seen every episode, and then getting started on Angel, and planning my week around when it would come out.

And I remember thinking: I need more.

First Buffy fanfic I ever read was by nautibitz, who, as it turned out, had an LJ. I never looked back.

*sends you back the love, tenfold*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I love hearing how people fell in love with their fandom. Obsession always seems to take us by surprise.

[yourlibrarian]

Just popped over from crazydiamondsue's rec and have to agree I love this post. It's such a good look at fandom.

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Someone linked this -- thank you. I will be linking it, as well.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

I love fandom pimping. I love fandom pimps. I love fandom whores. I love . . . I need to stop already.

[librarian2003.livejournal.com]

Now I know exactly where to come for a regular shot of sappiness! Oh, and I'm a Brit too, so that's as gushy as it gets... :~)

Not enough? Okay - I could just *hug* someone who reminded me of all the wonderful things about the fandom!

Jo

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Jo! Is using her lj! I'm so impressed/happy!

I love your icon.

And if a Brit is hugging me (or maybe just could), I know that's serious business!