lettered | The Fic That Ate My Brain.

Entry tags:

The Fic That Ate My Brain.

B. I use words to get the thoughts out of my head. They just keep coming and coming and don't make sense or feel real--sometimes I don't feel like a real person--until I write it down. So if I've got a story or idea, I need to write it just so it will go away. But that means if I write something down, it will go away, like Dumbledore's memories into a Pensieve. So in general I hate writing outlines/plans for stories/essays, for fear I'll waste the idea of what I want to write in the form of an outline instead of a story, and so never be able to write the story itself. How bout you? Like writing outlines? Thoughts, notes, ideas? Hate it? Why?

R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. For instance, I don't like to talk about it with my friends if I'm sort of seeing someone, trying to get a job, trying to publish a story. I always want to wait until I've already done it, or until after I've failed, and say, "look, see?" The thing is, it's not about needing to be successful; it's about hating the limbo, but being able to stand it better if I don't admit it's limbo and just wait for the outcome. The point? Is once again that I don't, or usually don't, talk about, or feel the need to talk about, things I'm writing. If I talk about it something unfinished it makes me a little crazy, because I don't know whether I'm going to finish or like the outcome. If I decide to abandon, or hate the outcome, I failed, but I don't mind talking about it then--it's the interim. This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?

A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)

I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.

N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.

S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

OMG wtf are you writing???

Yes, I talk the fuck out of my fic while writing them. To the point where my best betas say "yea just stfu and write, bitch". I think I do it to stall. *cough*

Fic that mauls you usually turns out to be some of the best. It's like, you know, rough sex.

I am of no help.

OMG wtf are you writing???

Wait, you've already written 150,000 words? Or you think it's going to take 150,000 words to write the story? Because for the latter, I'd see how that might be crazy-making. I'm a shortpiece writer myself, and the idea of long fics intimidates the hell out of me. I'm working on something right now that's in the 10,000 range and just those five numbers makes me quake in my boots, so I'm having to approach it like each scene is a little ficlet.

If it's the former, I'd be patting myself on the back and bragging to everyone I knew. :) GO YOU WITH YOUR BAD SELF, I'd say.

So go, you. With your bad self. Either way.

I've learned to talk fics out from Kita. The talking, for me, fuels the planning fuels the thinking out fuels the squee fuels the desire to write. And talking it out can be a great way to articulate what's in your brain into words which then you can put to paper (or wp). But do what works for you. If keeping it all inside until it bursts on to the page works, then, hey! Awesome.

I tend to think if I talk to other people (not betas or co-writers) about a fic than it's jinxed to never be finished. However, talking works really well for some people. I've worked with students who wrote terrible papers, expect if I transcribed as they told me what their paper was about.

I rarely do outlines. If I do, it's like one or two words describing the scenes. It really depends on the fic and the length of it.

Outlines I tend to do more when I'm in the middle of a fic, keeping track what info/developments I've already talked about and keeping track of threads that'll have to be tied up at the end. At times when I have a large chunk already done, I'll sketch out a quick outline to view that part in microcosm, and consider whether I want to shift around reveals or particular moments.

Oh, I talk about my fics. Either to willing listeners online (ha! well, as willing as they can be when I cheerily IM them and say "HI OMG ARE YOU BUSY?" In all caps, because I want them to understand that I am shrieking persuasively.

And when I particularly like something, I speak about it at length to TFMN. The other day I was describing the awkward and upsetting end of a romantic encounter that happens to a teenage character, and when he said "That poor kid," I was all, yay!

I limit who I speak to, though, if only because some people make good listening ears/sounding boards, and some people will seem okay but then will keep saying "Is it done yet? Is it done? When are you updating? Are you ready to update yet? How about now?" And that makes me antsy (and actual talk along the lines of "I want more now; hurry up, you update too slowly" really does make me freeze up a bit).

Oh, and I also "talk about" fics by writing snippets for people in IMs or emails, or showing a bit of prose and saying "does that work?" or "isn't this something!" <------probably a sign that I like that bit far too much, and should cut it right the hell out of the fic *g*

But yeah, some pornier stories are born of someone IMing or in the middle of an IM who basically says "Tell me a story."

Damn it, I was going to see that movie, and I was so excited for it to be good! Okay, not really. The previews made me snigger, and I thought it would probably suck. But maybe if it's airing some night on completely free tv (alas, we are cable-less) then I'll check out part of it. But I wanted to make you feel better. (omg, did it work?)

I outline nothing. My stories come from the ether and more often than not float aimlessly until I think they're over. (This can be frustrating: witness Fallen From Grace, which just got all tangled and horrible.) I'm better with short stuff...stuff that doesn't actually require plot.

Ahh, The Lake House sucked? I was thinking it might be the good cheese a la The Notebook.

*smooch*

PS...is this the fic I'm gonna get my hands on at some point?

::pants::

Ahahahahahaha!! Of course, when I head "I am Spartacus" I hear it in that accent. "I am. Shpartaush."

And you saw the movie because Bullock looks like a gorl you would REALLY REALLY like in RL - she seems fun and nice and kinda smart, but silly enough to try clothes on with and have a beer later, and she SUCKS YOU IN TO HER DUMB MOVIES.

But I still think I'd like her. DAMNIT! That charm of hers! *shakes fist*

The Boston Globe gave Lake House a funny sort of thumbs up kind of review. In the sense that yeah, it makes no sense and the reviewer made all sorts of fun of it for that, but he said that if you turn off your brain you'll enjoy it. So don't feel bad for thinking it would be good! Did you get any fun out of it at all?

Ahahahahahaha!! Of course, when I head "I am Spartacus" I hear it in that accent. "I am. Shpartaush."
*giggles madly*

Did I ever tell you the dream my sister had in which Sean Connery starred?

Heee! NO! I'm all ears! *tosses an r up there to replace the d*

Wash Shean all shexshy and shly?

Dude! I have serious problems with outlining/wanting to write down whatever's in my head immediately. I have this thing where I'll see a scene in my head and *must write it* BUT more often than not, it's multiple scenes, from various places throughout an entire story, and I can't write them all simultaneously, but I fear if I write one and then the next, all will be lost but the first one, so I have to write just a *vague* outline to remember at least what I was thinking of. And I wind up sticking to the outline about... 70% of the time. I don't really like them, but sometimes I have to. My brain makes me.

I cannot wait to read this fic that is eating your brain.

Also, I haven't yet actually gotten around to reading this Ms. Scribe business. I keep meaning to though, because now I really have to know what all the fuss is about.

Hee. I actually kind of thought going to see that Keanu/Sandra movie sounded like an oddly fun idea too. I probably won't see it now. ...unless I do.

I always plan essays - that was how I was taught to write essays at school and uni.

I never plan fics, I just make them up as I go along. The thinking and plotting has to happen at the same times as the writing otherwise I have sod all incentive to write it down - wanting to find out what happens is one of my few effective spurs to writing.

Brain-eating fic seems to be something a lot of writers go through at some stage. I think it's as a result of getting more skilled and thinking more about our fics so we want to cram in more and more layers. You see other authors complain about it all teh time. If you find a cure, can you let me know?

So, talk! Tell us all about it! *is dying to know*

It's this fic about Angel going nuts. It has a pretty lame premise. A really lame premise; this fic wouldn't happen on the show. But the ultimate point is to drive Angel gray, then dark, then darker, then completely mad, then get him out again on the other side. Which is possibly why it's taking so long. It was supposed to be a big B/A shipper fic, and it kind of is, and there's lots of B/A and schmoopy B/A and then schmoopy B/A porn and then really really unschmooopy B/A, but then suddenly there's Angel/Doyle too, and I don't know where that came from, and now I'm writing A/S, and IT JUST KEEPS GOING, it could be a fic in itself, Spike always steals the show. I don't know what happened.

It's possible I made this whole post in order to stall. When you talk is it just telling about what's going to happen, or are you more bouncing the ideas off your betas to see what they think?

I've written 150,000 words, but it looks like it might take again that many to finish it. It just keeps taking so long to do the stuff I want to do.

I kind of naturally write long pieces. The short pieces I've done, I've agonized over every word, because each one is so important, you know? And then I still had to go back in and cut half the unnecessary words.

The thing about a longer piece is I don't approach it like that. The words themselves aren't so very important. They can fade into the background, as can the style, so that the ideas and events can be absorbed into the readers' minds in the least distracting way possible. They can and should, unless you're far more clever than me. For that reason, if I know something's going to be short, it can take me a day just to get a 100 words out. But if I'm starting the rough draft of a novel or something, I can belt out 10,000 words in a day if I'm really truly going at it (with nothing important going on).

keeping it all inside until it bursts on to the page works

Good way of putting it!

fuels the desire to write.

This sounds like it would be the most important thing, for me. It bursts but then I get bummed, and want someone to pet me and tell me go ahead, do the next part.

I'm working on something right now that's in the 10,000 range

To quote Kita: OMG wtf are you writing??? I'm excited to hear you're doing a longer fic!

I tend to think if I talk to other people (not betas or co-writers) about a fic than it's jinxed to never be finished.

I think that articulates my sentiments exactly.

If I do, it's like one or two words describing the scenes.

Yeah, that's as close as I usually get. If it's a long fic, I have titles for the scenes, as short as possible, and write them down, so I can figure out what's coming next.

keeping track what info/developments

Yeah! When I think about outlines I think about saying what's coming next, but it seems to me it's really important to keep track of things you've already said. It's surprising how many little inconsistencies can flower in a longer fic.

I limit who I speak to, though, if only because some people make good listening ears/sounding boards

It's possible that the few people I've tried to talk to about my stuff weren't that great listeners. The thing is, I LOVE to listen. And when someone says they're having trouble with a story, in the past I've been like: OMG why didn't you tell me, maybe I can help you! But as for myself I never want to go to anybody!

and actual talk along the lines of "I want more now; hurry up, you update too slowly" really does make me freeze up a bit

I really love the, "this is great, can't wait to see where you're going!" and really hate the "where's the next part????" The former spurs me on to write more; the latter yeah, makes me freeze.

Oh, and I also "talk about" fics by writing snippets for people in IMs or emails,

See, to me, that just feels like undressing in front of someone.

Totally feel better about Lake House! The thing was, I still kinda like the premise. It's goofy but I prefer goofy to the more rote/standard plots. But I didn't feel either of the characters was particularly interesting or original, and I didn't see why their love was so...dun dun dun, TIMELESS.

My longer stories come from the ether and float aimlessly until I get about 30,000 words done, and then I'm always, "Okay, what's this about?" And it's around then I start planning the next dozen scenes, and have a vague idea in my head for where I want to go.

I liked the end result of FFG. WHatever you do, keep doing it :o)

I didn't see The Notebook. I like cheese, but I tend not to like a lot of these little romantic chick flicks like this, not because they're so very bad, but because I don't find the characters engaging. I just didn't really care, and was bored. I could see other people liking it though.

Yes. I thought, well, I only have this and this and this part to go. Then it turns out each of those parts could be a novel in themselves.

I don't remember Kirk Douglas's accent, but I love that movie.

I actually haven't felt that way about Sandra Bullock until really recently. She just didn't have that kind of appeal to me. But I recently rewatched While You Were Sleeping, which I LOVE her in, then went online to look for fanfic and somehow found Sandy icon comms, and was all, awww you are so cute! And then suddenly I wanted to see it even though Keenau was in it. OMG Captain von Trapp is Neo's dad!

I want to hear! I had a Sean Connery bday party once, and there was Sean Connery in a kilt on the cake, with a bubble that said, "I have a sheksy voice." Okay, not sure about the bubble but it really was Sean Connery in a kilt! More of a stick figure but we tried, okay?

I actually don't mind it not making sense. The preview showed that time paradoxes would be involved, and I like that kinda crap even when it doesn't make sene, so I was all geared up for that. And that element was fun.

I just felt, as I often feel at romantic chick type movies, that neither of the leads had much personality, or anything really special about them I could identify with or love, and that there was really no reason for them to be in love with each other, because I don't see what special thing they gave each other that other people couldn't. I just have a problem with that; I like love stories where I feel like the characters have something new and original to offer each other.

B. Of the stories that have come solely from my own brain (I did outline some of Heaven and Earth, but as that came from Moss' brain it doesn't count), the one that I made a complete outline for is the one I never wrote (which really sucks, because it would have been cool and fairly original but now it has gone away). That was a few years ago, and I pretty much learned my lesson then. Sometimes I'll do a quick timeline of events after I've started writing (especially if I think that some of the events will be offscreen), or every now and then if a story element doesn't make sense I'll get it out of my brain and onto paper just so I can look at it more objectively.

R. I rarely talk about anything I'm writing in detail, but I do like to tell people that I'm writing something, and the basic premise thereof. This is mostly because having other people know about a project tends to summon a shoulder angel (or devil, whatever) that tells me to open Word and see if I can't tap out at least another sentence or two, even if the plot bunny is hiding under the bed.

A. Holy shit!

I. Slash does tend to sneak up on one, doesn't it? I keep having to fend off Jack/Daniel bunnies in H&E (which is basically gen). Although... Three different slash pairings by accident? May ask whom you are slashing?

N. I don't have anything to say about the HP kerfuffle (which I am avoiding), I just want to be able to spell out "brains."

S. Because Keanu is pretty and (I'm so going to get tarred and feathered for this) a decent actor and you were hoping that this would be Decent-to-Good Movie #6.66? Hmm... if my math is accurate, maybe he isn't going to make another good movie, due to the fear that it will summon the apocalypse. From everything I've heard (I definitely won't see it until it's out on DVD) the Lake House would have been good if Ang Lee & James Schamus had gotten their hands on it, but as it is... Yeah, kind of stupid.

I rarely forget scene ideas, which is why I don't do an outline most times. But that's because I don't quite get the idea and then NEED to write it down. I get the idea and think about it and think about it and write it and rewrite it in my head and then BAM! Need to write it or I'll go crazy! But for me, also, I almost always get scene ideas in sequential order, instead of scenes for all over the fic. The latter sounds confusing and panic-making! I'm sorry! But at least your outlines help.

Thank you!

Yeah, I definitely recommend reading the Ms Scribe thing. Not only is it entertaining, I think it's important. 1. There are crazies on the internet. 2. If you yourself are crazy on the internet, there will be proof. People will eventually know, so don't think you can get away with it.

Aww, I don't want to really discourage anyone from Lake House. I liked the idea, and still do. I just wasn't particular engaged with the characters, which tends to bore me.

My outlines for scholastic essays tended to be a list of quotes, with a word of my own thrown in here and there.

wanting to find out what happens is one of my few effective spurs to writing.

Hey, me too! But sometimes I do know what happens, and the question, "but how could that happen?" is more the one I'm writing to answer.

I've had other stories in the past eat my brain, even other fics. Sometimes I feel like it's happening every time I sit down to write. What's so frustrating about this one is just how long it is. I've been writing it for a year, and every time I sit down to it I get sucked in for 10,000, 20,000 words when I just want to finish a scene or two. I keep thinking, but how much longer could it be? And then it just keeps going.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 3

The Fic That Ate My Brain.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject