The Fic That Ate My Brain.

[lettered]

B. I use words to get the thoughts out of my head. They just keep coming and coming and don't make sense or feel real--sometimes I don't feel like a real person--until I write it down. So if I've got a story or idea, I need to write it just so it will go away. But that means if I write something down, it will go away, like Dumbledore's memories into a Pensieve. So in general I hate writing outlines/plans for stories/essays, for fear I'll waste the idea of what I want to write in the form of an outline instead of a story, and so never be able to write the story itself. How bout you? Like writing outlines? Thoughts, notes, ideas? Hate it? Why?

R. On another level, I sometimes feel like saying something will make something real, which will of course jinx it and make it unreal. For instance, I don't like to talk about it with my friends if I'm sort of seeing someone, trying to get a job, trying to publish a story. I always want to wait until I've already done it, or until after I've failed, and say, "look, see?" The thing is, it's not about needing to be successful; it's about hating the limbo, but being able to stand it better if I don't admit it's limbo and just wait for the outcome. The point? Is once again that I don't, or usually don't, talk about, or feel the need to talk about, things I'm writing. If I talk about it something unfinished it makes me a little crazy, because I don't know whether I'm going to finish or like the outcome. If I decide to abandon, or hate the outcome, I failed, but I don't mind talking about it then--it's the interim. This is why I have difficulty discussing and bouncing ideas around with friends/betas. I've rarely tried and when I do it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I know lots of people discuss fic they're writing with betas--why do you do it, how does it affect your process, do you ever feel you lose anything in doing it?

A. The point? The real point this time? I'm writing a fic which is EATING MY BRAIN and I want to talk about it because my BRAIN IS GONE. It's 150,000 words and it just keeps growing. I finally did write a bit of an outline for it, but parts that I think are going to be a measly 5,000 words jump to 30,000 words, and it keeps going ON AND ON. I feel like it's mauling me, seriously. (ETA: I feel the need to add I don't actually want to talk about it in an I'm having trouble with it kind of way, but in an I need to complain about it kind of way, which was really the point of this whole post. That is, IT ATE MY BRAIN AND NOW IT'S GONE. That was the point, really.)

I. And I just wrote slash. It was supposed to be a B/A fic! Okay, it still is, but one slash scene turned into 3, and 2 of them are pairings I never saw myself writing, and the other is turning into those 30,000 words. I don't understand. Stop it, fic, you're hurting me.

N. Now we cut the whining and get on to the important stuff. Which would be more entertaining: dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude standing up and saying, "I'm Charlotte Lennox! No, I'm Charlottle Lennox!" or dubbing Spartacus so that it has dude after dude saying, "I'm MsScribe! And I'm Ms Scribe! In fact, we're all Ms Scribe!"? Who's with me on crossing out all the "Who is John Galt"s graffiteed everywhere and writing "Charlottle Lennox" instead? And lastly: tkp, I know who you are.

S. I saw that Keenau Sandra Bullock movie today. God, it was stupid. Someone explain to me why I thought it might be good?

Comments

[tkp.livejournal.com]

So what's a "when you have to" situation? I can make myself write when I don't want, which was good for school, when I was in it, but my oomphless stuff never quite met with my approval. So I tend not to make myself write for something like fanfic, because if I'm not going to be happy with it, I figure why bother?

I like the idea of outlining being the lesser of two evils; that does make sense.

[rahirah]

The thing I've learned is that after several drafts and a thorough betaing, readers can't tell the difference between the stuff that flowed trippingly off my keyboard and the stuff I sweated blood over. Heck, after a couple of months, I can't tell the difference. Craftsmanship really can pinch-hit for inspiration, at least to a certain degree.

[lynnenne]

Oh, Spike would *totally* dig at Angel. It's just that at this point in canon, I think his motivations would have less to do with hurt feelings and more to do with revenge. And being evil. *g*

[coercion88.livejournal.com]

'Who wants to write the filler?'
This is interesting, because this seems to be a problem when you're writing stories / novels etc but not (hopefully) when you're writing scripts. You can jump all over the place in a script, ditching all the tedium. Actually, I suppose you can do that just as well in prose, but it requires quite a sharp editorial eye and lots of courage to say, Fuck it, I don't need the filler. The reader isn't stupid, they'll work it out themselves. Then you have to make sure the prose doesn't sound jumpy.
So far, I haven't managed any of this at all in my great oeuvre. Not at all.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

And now I am back! With squishy thoughts.

B. I am of two minds about outlines. Usually I don't. What I might do is write scenes that come later for fear I'll forget. Or very brief chapter headings. For example, I started writing a post NFA fic quite a while ago and I wrote down the names of the person that the chpater focuses on. Even though the person may not be in the chapter.

But for the first time ever, I fear I might attempt something with plot - that season 3 rewrite. And I'm actually writing down brief one sentence markers regarding the scenes that need to be written. I might send it to you because I'm not sure it hangs together. Rereading the original script for "Consequences" i am struck first by how dense it is - I'm not all capable of that. But also I'm struck by how the plot is often very secondary. It's all about emotional beats. And that's what I'm trying to make sure I hit.

R. Part of me is convinced if I wish for something bad and it happens, completely my fault. Don't tempt G-d.

A. Now that my life is back to normal, feel free to send parts and/or all of it or just discuss if you want. Or don't, I am completly easy going because I am perfect. MWAHAHA!

I. Well, I just wrote my first slash also, proof again that we are one paramicium, cruelly split into two.

N. I will not succumb to watching Sparatuc again. Or Gladiator, the new non-improved version.

S. Keanu was good in a movie twice in his life. Speed because it's pretty hard for anyone breathing not to be good spouting Joss's dialog. And The Matrix because all he had to do was look confused, Keanu's natural state. "Devil's Advocate" was good in spite of the K factor (I mean, Al Pacino playing The Devil, how wrong can you go?) And I've never seen all of Bill and Ted, so can't comment on that one.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Whoa, sorry for getting back to you late on this--I turned the email notification off and missed some comments!

Anywho, I do get scenes writing themselves in my head that I need to write down RIGHT AWAY, but that's generally after I've thought about the scene for a while. I work in layers. First I get the idea of what's going to happen in a scene. Then I break the scene down into smaller parts, especially the beginning. Then I break the beginning down into smaller parts, usually with some dialogue and visuals. Then I write it word for word in my head, and that's the part where BAM, have to write it down. The thing is though, if I can't write it down just then, I can sometimes review it over and over until I remember it word for word. A while ago I was having computer trouble, and kept losing my work--had to write the same three pages over three times before I could back it up. What was freaky is I'm sure each of those three pages were exactly the same every single time--because I knew exactly the words I wanted. I guess it was freaky because verbatim memorization has always been hard for me, but not when I'm writing.

I tend to be not so concerned about the ideas not being mine. That is, it's very very important to me that I don't steal ideas, but I feel like once I get my hands on something, I have a natural tendency to twist and change until it becomes my own. Possible arrogance on my part; I should watch myself!

Me sans brain is dangerous.

And I agree that not every word and sentence in a story should be so polished,

I've said (ad naseum, I'm afraid) before that I kinda have two modes of writing: one I just spin out what's popping into my head, I write really fast, and they're long stories. The other is like pulling teeth, every word is agony, and they end up shorter. I'm writing this fic in the former mode, but sometimes I worry that what I'm doing is just splooging crap everywhere, if you know what I mean, and that people who expect good writing out of me will be disappointed. But the key is that I'm really having fun with it, and that's what matters most!

Particularly for plot-based story-telling, the simpler the wording in critical points of the action, the more the reader is sucked in.

The thing about that is simple wording is sometimes sparkly in itself. Hemmingway's stories, for a hoidy-toidy literary example, are written very simply, but it still feels like each word is extremely polished. I think a lot of people's natural mode of writing falls somewhere in between wordy convoluted beauty and that crystalline simplicity, and the result is that the prose of generic novels and stories, the mysteries and best-sellers and romance novels calls no attention to itself because it is utterly mundane. But I don't think that style of writing is bad, though I do believe it could be better. It just gets the story across, which is sometimes more than enough. Um, I have more thoughts on this subject, which I need to think about because I'm having trouble articulating, and I don't have a way to end this sentence, so I'll just thank you for making me think :o)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I turned comment notifications off and missed this. Oy!

B. Send it send it send it! And also, you're wrong. "Consequences" really is dense (all of S3 is. It's my favorite season) but I think you can pull off something like it. And you're very good at tugging at my emotions, so go you. What I've already read, and what you've said about it, I think is going to say a whole lot about the characters with a completely new spin we haven't had a chance to see.

A. But people keep bugging me about Best Souvenir. *pokes*

I. Do you mean the scene in the fic I already beta'ed? Hotness.

N. I love Spartacus. It's a great movie.

S. Agree with everything you just said. I love Devil's Advocate. Well, and the Matrix and Speed, but those go without saying. Never seen Bill and Ted either.

[zibbycomix.livejournal.com]

I rarely write outlines; I just keep track of how stories go in my head. I agree with you- if I try to write an outline, I just get nervous about writing the actual story. I do write down if I have an idea for a story, but I don't outline it. Yeah.