Real Life Tales in La Vie De TKP!

[lettered]

1. So my mom's seen all of BtVS. But we're watching it a second time. And in S5 "Blood Ties", you know that scene where Dawn goes to Ben and tells him she's the Key, then Ben changes into Glory? TKMOM: OMG, Ben is Glory?
TKme: Yeah, Glory is in Ben's body.
TKMom: You mean Ben is in Glory's body?
TKme: Yeah, Glory is Ben.
TKMom: So. Glory and Ben.
TKme: Are the same person.
TKMom: Glory and Ben are the same person?

I KID YOU NOT.

2. So I'm writing smut, slashy porn type smut, with things I don't believe I've typed before and god, did I even know Angel was that raunchy, and all the sudden there's a knock on my door. So I open it up and hear, "Hello. Have you let Jesus Christ into your life today?" All I could think was Angel does feel very close to Jesus right now, yes he does. "Have you had a chance to study the Book of Mormon, the Testament of Jesus Christ?" I'm spending my quality time studying porn, thank you.

I've actually never had missionaries come to my house before, and would've really liked to've chatter with them and perhaps offer them tea, but I was so embarrassed I said no and shut the door. And I think they thought I was laughing at them, which made me really ashamed of myself. Then I went back to studying porn.

3. So (all stories start with so, apparently) I just watched The Gift. I forgot how Spike cries at the end. Then I went downstairs and there was this little rabbit the size of a hamster sitting on the stoop just outside the front door, munching on little green leaf planty things. And it felt very ironic to watch Buffy die and then see this bitty baby bunny live.

4. So Friday my brother calls to ask when my mom is coming to Michigan so he knows when to go up to see her, and my mother says she's going Tuesday, and I'm going with her. I'd been thinking about going again to see my brother and also just because I can, and that jazz, but this was so very sudden. But hey it's free, so I'm there. Since I'm going to be gone longer this time I'm going to be dropping by an internet cafe every couple days just to see what's up, but I'll be less available. But I'll be there if you want to get in contact with me, and I will also fly about randomly commenting. But anyway, toodles!

Comments

[tkp.livejournal.com]

W-wait, waitwaitwait a minute here!

Glory is my mom?

Jesus is Spike's cock?

My mom is Glory?

I listen to jazz?

The world feels different. And you're saying Glory has something to do with my mom.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

Your mom will collapse the time space continium, killing Captain James T. Kirk and making Spike cry!

Also Jazz will be unleashed on us all and Spike's cock will be the only thing resurrected.

ARGGHHHHHHH!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Cool. Will Whoopi Goldberg be in it?

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha! I came *theeeese* close to almost literally slamming my head into the keyboard at that. I was overcome with laughter. Really, if you two want to do a Cable Access show, I'll be your DP.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

She plays the dragon. It has dreadlocks to appeal to the youth market.

[rahirah]

I don't know about Jesus, but Spike's cock is an acceptable substitute for Heaven. IT'S CANON, DAMN IT!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

hahahahahaha!

Except Buffy's vagina SENDS YOU TO HELL. Which is canon too if you squint really hard.

[rahirah]

Unfortunately you don't have to squint nearly hard enough. :P

[tkp.livejournal.com]

No I meant squint at the big swirly thing when Angel does his dumb arm pose. It's very wombish.

I'm like that kid from Sixth Sense. I see vaginas.

[rahirah]

Oh. (blinks) I was being all metaphorical and shit.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Well, there's that too.

It's just, you know. Portals, vortexs, that one that sucked up Connor, too (JASMINE OMG), I think way too much about this stuff.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Connor has daddy AND vagina issues. He wins at woobie.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Connor wins at everything except life.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Oh, he totally wins at life. At least in my head. Where he has gay sex with Spike and annoys his father while majoring in architecture.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Architecture? I like that. I had him be . . . an engineer, I think. No wonder I thought he lost at life (my Dad's an engineer. Hates it with all that's in him, that's why I say that).

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Hunh. Except now that I think about it, I totally gacked the architecture idea from Witling's Crack!Jinnie fic. Oops.

But Angel is an artist and Connor is all about building things, not destroying anymore. It's like his penance. Yeah. That's it. I'm totally wanking my own crack now. I'll go away.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

But I like to see you wank your crack. No, seriously, I thought about what Connor was majoring in for a long time. For a while I thought literature, but he changed it, just so he could say he was creeped out by all the Oedipal stuff. Then I thought about him doing bio or some crap so he could do pre-med, because I can see him wanting to help people like that? But that was terribly stupid so I went what the hell, engineering, and he'll probably be changing his major next semester because he isn't sure yet about the life he wants to build.

Build, see? I just like that.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Yea, I think AtS No Limits had him pre-med? I can't remember.

But the building things, I like. A lot.

Connor and Cracktrailer!Vinnie are both architects. And they're both having sex with Spike (Marsters). God, the symmetry!

*cough*

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

I was skimming comments, and saw "Connor is an architect" and thought, okay, sure, makes as much sense as anything else. But then:

Connor is all about building things, not destroying anymore. It's like his penance.

Wow, that really works for me.

It's bad it makes me want to write Connor-the-architect/Xander-the-foreman slash, right? I mean, I know you're not so into the Xander part of it, but I'm all, ARCHITECT/FOREMAN, OTP!

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

OMG YES WRITE IT WRITE IT WRITE IT.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Gonna have to second the WRITE IT WRITE IT *slobber slobber* Because Xander would be sweaty.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

Oh, I <3 the engineer idea to bits! I had him as a truck driver/lap dancing fisherman, but that makes SO much more sense!

I can totally see him taking Engineering.

[(Anonymous)]

A lap dancing fisherman who is secretly a princess, right? Great minds do not think like us.

I have half a fic written in which he actually confesses he thought about being a belly-dancer.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Dude, I don't know who that was, but it wasn't me. I'd never dream about Connor talking about mostly naked hip swiveling.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

Everytime he orgasms the Halleujay Chorus sings out and tiny angel's fly out with his sacred spoof.