lettered: (Default)
It's Lion Turtles all the way down ([personal profile] lettered) wrote2006-06-26 10:50 am

Real Life Tales in La Vie De TKP!

1. So my mom's seen all of BtVS. But we're watching it a second time. And in S5 "Blood Ties", you know that scene where Dawn goes to Ben and tells him she's the Key, then Ben changes into Glory? TKMOM: OMG, Ben is Glory?
TKme: Yeah, Glory is in Ben's body.
TKMom: You mean Ben is in Glory's body?
TKme: Yeah, Glory is Ben.
TKMom: So. Glory and Ben.
TKme: Are the same person.
TKMom: Glory and Ben are the same person?

I KID YOU NOT.

2. So I'm writing smut, slashy porn type smut, with things I don't believe I've typed before and god, did I even know Angel was that raunchy, and all the sudden there's a knock on my door. So I open it up and hear, "Hello. Have you let Jesus Christ into your life today?" All I could think was Angel does feel very close to Jesus right now, yes he does. "Have you had a chance to study the Book of Mormon, the Testament of Jesus Christ?" I'm spending my quality time studying porn, thank you.

I've actually never had missionaries come to my house before, and would've really liked to've chatter with them and perhaps offer them tea, but I was so embarrassed I said no and shut the door. And I think they thought I was laughing at them, which made me really ashamed of myself. Then I went back to studying porn.

3. So (all stories start with so, apparently) I just watched The Gift. I forgot how Spike cries at the end. Then I went downstairs and there was this little rabbit the size of a hamster sitting on the stoop just outside the front door, munching on little green leaf planty things. And it felt very ironic to watch Buffy die and then see this bitty baby bunny live.

4. So Friday my brother calls to ask when my mom is coming to Michigan so he knows when to go up to see her, and my mother says she's going Tuesday, and I'm going with her. I'd been thinking about going again to see my brother and also just because I can, and that jazz, but this was so very sudden. But hey it's free, so I'm there. Since I'm going to be gone longer this time I'm going to be dropping by an internet cafe every couple days just to see what's up, but I'll be less available. But I'll be there if you want to get in contact with me, and I will also fly about randomly commenting. But anyway, toodles!

[identity profile] ex-dovil323.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
Bitty bunny, Angel finds Jesus, Glory is Ben is TPK's mum, something about going to a jazz concert and abandoning us!

This is why I love your posts.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
W-wait, waitwaitwait a minute here!

Glory is my mom?

Jesus is Spike's cock?

My mom is Glory?

I listen to jazz?

The world feels different. And you're saying Glory has something to do with my mom.

[identity profile] ex-dovil323.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
Your mom will collapse the time space continium, killing Captain James T. Kirk and making Spike cry!

Also Jazz will be unleashed on us all and Spike's cock will be the only thing resurrected.

ARGGHHHHHHH!
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
Cool. Will Whoopi Goldberg be in it?

[identity profile] crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Hahahahaha! I came *theeeese* close to almost literally slamming my head into the keyboard at that. I was overcome with laughter. Really, if you two want to do a Cable Access show, I'll be your DP.

[identity profile] crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
Did you ask your Mom if she was very stoned? *Was* she very stoned? Okay, we'll leave that one alone. I'm tellin' you what (I'm torn between the Jackson Browne and country speak today - tell your mom I'm actually very articulate) I've watched a lot of Buffy in my day, but "So we think there might be a connection between Ben and Glory" never stops being funny. (Did you slow-mo that "Ben is Glory" part in Weight of the World where Spike smacks Xander's ass? *nods sagely* If I can impart nothing else, of all these - yes.)

What's so great about Michigan that you're leaving again??? Oh, great, now I'm singing "Whoever's in New England" which has *nothing* to do with Michigan and is all Reba and now my accent's out of control. Lord have mercy.

You know that Stoney sic'd them missionaries on you. One might say she positioned them. Okay, I'm stopping. Nothing's going to beat that Whoopi thing.
rahirah: (Default)

[personal profile] rahirah 2006-06-27 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know about Jesus, but Spike's cock is an acceptable substitute for Heaven. IT'S CANON, DAMN IT!
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
My mom is kinda forgetful. Okay scarily forgetful. While back we watched The Body and I said I didn't want to watch it just then because I needed to be ready to take it, and she said, "It didn't affect me that much". She BAWLED through the whole thing last time, and did it again this time. She may just be a stoner. She also doesn't think A/S ever had sex. And ahahahaha! I've been so much more attuned to all the X/S this go through, and that bit was so cute!

I didn't get to do my MI pictures post, or else you'd know. It's my place. I used to go every summer but before a few weeks back hadn't been in two years and it was driving me nuts.

I thought you were saying Stoney propositioned them missionaries. Who's got an accent now? Yeah, that Whoopi thing! It gave Kirk wood to chop and Picard a Christmas tree, which made him sniffle and say, Lord bless us everyone. Which probably just made Kirk think of porn.
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[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
hahahahahaha!

Except Buffy's vagina SENDS YOU TO HELL. Which is canon too if you squint really hard.
ext_7262: (spike_readingporn by vampkiss)

[identity profile] femmenerd.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
I LOVE that you are studying porn. You know, I don't think I've ever read any porn by you. How odd.

And thinking about Spike crying at the end of "The Gift" still makes me wibble.
rahirah: (Default)

[personal profile] rahirah 2006-06-27 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Unfortunately you don't have to squint nearly hard enough. :P
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
No I meant squint at the big swirly thing when Angel does his dumb arm pose. It's very wombish.

I'm like that kid from Sixth Sense. I see vaginas.
rahirah: (Default)

[personal profile] rahirah 2006-06-27 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. (blinks) I was being all metaphorical and shit.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
I haven't posted any Buffyverse porn. There's some sex scenes in my 5 Things fics, but they're not really there for the reader's pleasure like proper porn, and there's mentions of some sex in some other fics that's explicit mentioning, but not actual scene-age. The only porn I've ever posted anywhere is X-men movieverse.

I've always loved Spike, but this time through watching it all again, I have so much more sympathy for him. I actually see where he's coming from, and I had a lot of trouble with that before. OMG the looks on his face! Just rip me up. And everyone else standing there at the end just looking sad and horrified, but Spike there on his knees bawling his eyes out! I wibbled too.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Well, there's that too.

It's just, you know. Portals, vortexs, that one that sucked up Connor, too (JASMINE OMG), I think way too much about this stuff.

[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
Connor has daddy AND vagina issues. He wins at woobie.

[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
I liked Spike cowering from the sun better than him crying. He kinda cries at the drop of a hat. Or a Slayer.

Michigan, hunh? Will you bring the porn to Michigan? When can I see the porn? Does Spike cry in the porn? ENQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
Connor wins at everything except life.

[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, he totally wins at life. At least in my head. Where he has gay sex with Spike and annoys his father while majoring in architecture.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
Bad pun. Bad.

Yes, I'm bringing the porn, you can see the porn when I finish the fic, but it's that same one that's really long and the Spike porn is relatively quite short, so I'm warning you about that now, and no, Spike doesn't cry in the porn. You're right, Spike does cry a lot, but I suspect he cries a whole helluva lot less in front of Angel. But anyway it's not very tear-worthy sex in a good way, and imo if it was tear-worthy sex in a bad way Spike would rather fight than cry, which he does, a lot.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
Architecture? I like that. I had him be . . . an engineer, I think. No wonder I thought he lost at life (my Dad's an engineer. Hates it with all that's in him, that's why I say that).

[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
I have no idea wtf you're talking about.

It's fine with me if Spike isn't having a lot of sex...Wait- Is Angel? Cause then it's all good.

[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
Hunh. Except now that I think about it, I totally gacked the architecture idea from Witling's Crack!Jinnie fic. Oops.

But Angel is an artist and Connor is all about building things, not destroying anymore. It's like his penance. Yeah. That's it. I'm totally wanking my own crack now. I'll go away.
ext_7189: (Default)

[identity profile] tkp.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
Most of the time, I don't either.

Angel has much of the sex, but it is almost all with Buffy.

[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com 2006-06-27 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
I do the dance of joy now.

I trip over my own feet, but I do it.

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