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Real Life Tales in La Vie De TKP!
Hi, I'm back from vacation in northern Michigan so now I'll be posting/commenting more. I'm glad so many of you folks had so much fun seeing each other at Writercon. And now some of you are seeing VK and I KNOW that's fun.
But for the past month I saw family. And I had fun. But sometimes, you get to missing fandom. Other times, I was so glad to be cut off from the computer and tv and telephone and even my car. But not my shower.
*
TKGranny: I can't go see that Pirates movie. I like the gender roles to be firm in a movie.
TKMe: Are you talking about Jonny Depp?
TKGranny: I like my men manly.
TKBrother1: You mean like John Wayne? But you know he often played a cowboy. And you know cowboys. What with the shiny buckles n' all.
TKMe: How 'bout Brokeback Mountain? The men in that were manly. Also, gay.
TKGranny: Pirates should be swash-buckling and brave.
TKS-i-l: (exasperated) Cut them some slack! They can't all be Errol Flynne.
TKBrother1: And Errol Flynne had those tights.
*
This is my Granny's house.
*
So, we went to go see The Devil Wears Prada instead. I thought Hathaway's character was a little dumb to not realize where her true interests lie (lied? LAID?), but TKFam was all like:
TKMom: Sacrifices have to be made for your career. You'd know that if you actually worked for a living.
Score one Mommy!
TKDad: Her friends weren't her friends. They were evil for not realizing she was doing what she had to.
TKMe: She lost her soul. Her friends helped her find it again.
TKDad: Her friends were Teh Evil. Her friends were Buffy's friends! When Buffy ran away and when she got back and they were all bitches. They weren't her friends at all.
TKMe: Okay. Buffy had to KILL Angel. Miss Hathaway had to wear Prada. Not seeing the parallel here.
*
Somewhere in there was Fourth of July, on which I got so drunk my cramps went away COMPLETELY. You have to get pretty drunk for that to happen. It was awful and yet, not painful, so all in all good. Or I'd think so if I remembered it.
*
There was also dune climbing. Yeah, that's me!
*
My uncle and two cousins came. Actually, another uncle and an aunt and another cousin came, but they're not a big deal. I mean, that sounds harsh, but you know how it is with cousins. Some you really jive with and with others you just try not to make eye contact. So anyway, Uncle Bill and cousins Sarah and Annalise, they rock. I used to spend summers with them when I was around 12-16. I watched Pokemon with them, got awakened by their Furbies in their bathrooms, got my hair pulled, told them my hairs were individuals with individual feelings, named 1000s of hairs, got freaked out by their neighbor Jackpot, rolled in the grass, played horses, scared them by being too convincing a T-rex chasing them, told one of them I wouldn't wipe her bottom for her and she could go potty by herself, stuff like that. Now they're all old and high schooly. It makes me sad.
*
TKS-i-l: Sometimes I feel bad for squarshing ants. And then I feel even worse when other ants come to bear away the dead body. I wonder if they do it out of a sense of brotherhood. I mean, 'cause if they're just going to eat him that's one thing, but if it's out of a sense of brotherhood, I'd feel even worse. But then I just squarsh those ants too so it's all good.
*
(reprise)
(Fred is my Granny's husband. He's like a Grandpa except he's a Fred.)
(My grandparents are old and kinda...set in their ways. Generally, they're nice to everyone, but they make me want to bang my head into a wall when they talk about certain things.)
TKGranny: I can't see the movie because that Jonny Depp guy walks like a fairy in it.
TKMe: A fairy? You mean with wings, perched cutely on the tip of a big, long, thick...tree branch?
TKFred: You mean he's queer.
TKGranny: He flits when he walks.
TKMe: He flits, he floats, he fleetly flees he flies?
TKFred: You mean he's queer.
TKGranny: It's not realistic. People would never follow him.
TKMe: People didn't follow him.
TKFred: You mean because he's queer.
TKGranny: You have to be manly to control other men.
TKMe: He didn't control other men.
TKFred: You mean manly like John Wayne?
TKGranny: Manliness is very persuasive.
TKMe: He did persuade those rum smugglers to help him escape when there was a mutiny and he got stranded on an island.
TKFred: The rum smugglers must've been queer.
TKMe: *does Jack Sparrow impression. Looks like Nathan Lane in Birdcage trying to be John Wayne.*
Conclusion: John Wayne and Jonny Depp are the same person. And they're both gay.
*
This was the lake I stayed at with my friends, where the 'rents have a cottage. Showing again because it's SO FREAKIN' PRETTY.
*
And there was swimming, lots of it, and more of that other stuff like campfires and hiking around and more swimming. Oh yeah, and ice cream! Cherry Republic has 14 flavors of cherry icecream. And there's another shop with like 30 flavors. One of them is play-dough flavored. I don't get it either.
*
Speaking of things I didn't get, and ice cream.
TKMe: So my friend said that no one would talk about Connor at that Buffy convention thing I told you about. That makes me sad.
TKDad: I'd think all the girls would want to talk about Connor.
TKMom: What the hell for?
TKDad: I bet all the teeny boppers have the hots for him.
TKMom: He's so girly looking. I like my men manly. (dude, like Granny like mother. Except not like me because somehow, I got the hots for Connor.)
TKDad: Manly like me!
TKMom: You have ice cream on your belly.
*
And then Mom and I drove 2 days home. That was...two days ago! We listened to a book by Amy Tan, and it was the best one out of the other crap ones, though it wasn't the best book ever. I learned things about Burma. Then I forgot them. Tan read. She has a great voice. We passed Jericho. We drove through Moscow. We had Dairy Queen because you can't take a roadtrip through the south without DQ. It rained a lot and was hard to see. At one gas station I was so tired I read a license plate that said "Oklahoma" and I thought, "hey, we're in Oklahoma? I could go see Sue!" and then we didn't, because we weren't actually in Oklahoma, duh. We also didn't see Elvis in Memphis, or my old room mate. Then we got another book tape at a Cracker Barrel and it was bloody awful:
BookTape: She put her hands under his--*skip*--He thrust hard into--*skip*--she touched the engorged head of his--*skip*--he cried out in ecstasy as she--*skip*--hardening member--*skip*--cream of cum--*skip*
TKMom: *uncontrollable giggles*
TKMe: *more giggling* It said penis!
*
TKMom: Hey, guess what! When we get home, we can watch Buffy!
TKMe: We're on Angel now.
TKMom: Whatever, we can watch it!
*
Then we got home and I watched AtS with her.
That's the end of my Michigan adventures. Sad to be gone, and glad to be back. I hope you all have been interesting while I was (mostly) away, instead of those boring posts you like to do about your grandmother's corns. So, hi!
But for the past month I saw family. And I had fun. But sometimes, you get to missing fandom. Other times, I was so glad to be cut off from the computer and tv and telephone and even my car. But not my shower.
*
TKGranny: I can't go see that Pirates movie. I like the gender roles to be firm in a movie.
TKMe: Are you talking about Jonny Depp?
TKGranny: I like my men manly.
TKBrother1: You mean like John Wayne? But you know he often played a cowboy. And you know cowboys. What with the shiny buckles n' all.
TKMe: How 'bout Brokeback Mountain? The men in that were manly. Also, gay.
TKGranny: Pirates should be swash-buckling and brave.
TKS-i-l: (exasperated) Cut them some slack! They can't all be Errol Flynne.
TKBrother1: And Errol Flynne had those tights.
*
This is my Granny's house.
*
So, we went to go see The Devil Wears Prada instead. I thought Hathaway's character was a little dumb to not realize where her true interests lie (lied? LAID?), but TKFam was all like:
TKMom: Sacrifices have to be made for your career. You'd know that if you actually worked for a living.
Score one Mommy!
TKDad: Her friends weren't her friends. They were evil for not realizing she was doing what she had to.
TKMe: She lost her soul. Her friends helped her find it again.
TKDad: Her friends were Teh Evil. Her friends were Buffy's friends! When Buffy ran away and when she got back and they were all bitches. They weren't her friends at all.
TKMe: Okay. Buffy had to KILL Angel. Miss Hathaway had to wear Prada. Not seeing the parallel here.
*
Somewhere in there was Fourth of July, on which I got so drunk my cramps went away COMPLETELY. You have to get pretty drunk for that to happen. It was awful and yet, not painful, so all in all good. Or I'd think so if I remembered it.
*
There was also dune climbing. Yeah, that's me!
*
My uncle and two cousins came. Actually, another uncle and an aunt and another cousin came, but they're not a big deal. I mean, that sounds harsh, but you know how it is with cousins. Some you really jive with and with others you just try not to make eye contact. So anyway, Uncle Bill and cousins Sarah and Annalise, they rock. I used to spend summers with them when I was around 12-16. I watched Pokemon with them, got awakened by their Furbies in their bathrooms, got my hair pulled, told them my hairs were individuals with individual feelings, named 1000s of hairs, got freaked out by their neighbor Jackpot, rolled in the grass, played horses, scared them by being too convincing a T-rex chasing them, told one of them I wouldn't wipe her bottom for her and she could go potty by herself, stuff like that. Now they're all old and high schooly. It makes me sad.
*
TKS-i-l: Sometimes I feel bad for squarshing ants. And then I feel even worse when other ants come to bear away the dead body. I wonder if they do it out of a sense of brotherhood. I mean, 'cause if they're just going to eat him that's one thing, but if it's out of a sense of brotherhood, I'd feel even worse. But then I just squarsh those ants too so it's all good.
*
(reprise)
(Fred is my Granny's husband. He's like a Grandpa except he's a Fred.)
(My grandparents are old and kinda...set in their ways. Generally, they're nice to everyone, but they make me want to bang my head into a wall when they talk about certain things.)
TKGranny: I can't see the movie because that Jonny Depp guy walks like a fairy in it.
TKMe: A fairy? You mean with wings, perched cutely on the tip of a big, long, thick...tree branch?
TKFred: You mean he's queer.
TKGranny: He flits when he walks.
TKMe: He flits, he floats, he fleetly flees he flies?
TKFred: You mean he's queer.
TKGranny: It's not realistic. People would never follow him.
TKMe: People didn't follow him.
TKFred: You mean because he's queer.
TKGranny: You have to be manly to control other men.
TKMe: He didn't control other men.
TKFred: You mean manly like John Wayne?
TKGranny: Manliness is very persuasive.
TKMe: He did persuade those rum smugglers to help him escape when there was a mutiny and he got stranded on an island.
TKFred: The rum smugglers must've been queer.
TKMe: *does Jack Sparrow impression. Looks like Nathan Lane in Birdcage trying to be John Wayne.*
Conclusion: John Wayne and Jonny Depp are the same person. And they're both gay.
*
This was the lake I stayed at with my friends, where the 'rents have a cottage. Showing again because it's SO FREAKIN' PRETTY.
*
And there was swimming, lots of it, and more of that other stuff like campfires and hiking around and more swimming. Oh yeah, and ice cream! Cherry Republic has 14 flavors of cherry icecream. And there's another shop with like 30 flavors. One of them is play-dough flavored. I don't get it either.
*
Speaking of things I didn't get, and ice cream.
TKMe: So my friend said that no one would talk about Connor at that Buffy convention thing I told you about. That makes me sad.
TKDad: I'd think all the girls would want to talk about Connor.
TKMom: What the hell for?
TKDad: I bet all the teeny boppers have the hots for him.
TKMom: He's so girly looking. I like my men manly. (dude, like Granny like mother. Except not like me because somehow, I got the hots for Connor.)
TKDad: Manly like me!
TKMom: You have ice cream on your belly.
*
And then Mom and I drove 2 days home. That was...two days ago! We listened to a book by Amy Tan, and it was the best one out of the other crap ones, though it wasn't the best book ever. I learned things about Burma. Then I forgot them. Tan read. She has a great voice. We passed Jericho. We drove through Moscow. We had Dairy Queen because you can't take a roadtrip through the south without DQ. It rained a lot and was hard to see. At one gas station I was so tired I read a license plate that said "Oklahoma" and I thought, "hey, we're in Oklahoma? I could go see Sue!" and then we didn't, because we weren't actually in Oklahoma, duh. We also didn't see Elvis in Memphis, or my old room mate. Then we got another book tape at a Cracker Barrel and it was bloody awful:
BookTape: She put her hands under his--*skip*--He thrust hard into--*skip*--she touched the engorged head of his--*skip*--he cried out in ecstasy as she--*skip*--hardening member--*skip*--cream of cum--*skip*
TKMom: *uncontrollable giggles*
TKMe: *more giggling* It said penis!
*
TKMom: Hey, guess what! When we get home, we can watch Buffy!
TKMe: We're on Angel now.
TKMom: Whatever, we can watch it!
*
Then we got home and I watched AtS with her.
That's the end of my Michigan adventures. Sad to be gone, and glad to be back. I hope you all have been interesting while I was (mostly) away, instead of those boring posts you like to do about your grandmother's corns. So, hi!
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You're family conversations so slay me.
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Glad that you're back and what gorgeous pictures!
**hugshugshugs**
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I like your family.
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Thank you! I like my family, too!
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(And I'm sending out your package Monday - I don't know if I'll hit the PO today, but since you're where you are, should be a 24 turn around time. MUSIC!)
What on EARTH was that book on tape?? (Oooh, two books-on-tape that are great to listen to: The Screwtape Letters - read by John Cleese - and the BBC radio production of The Hobbit. Plus, that's like 14 hours long. Hee!)
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OMG yay! Music! Thanks!
The book tape was called, "Truth or Dare", but I forgot the author. It actually didn't say cream of cum, but the sex scenes were very long, and while I listened to a couple on the way up with my mother, these were just way too long and superfluous to stand. I've listened to the BBC production of the Hobbit on the way to Austin and back--though it must've been abridged? Because it was only 6 hours. I'd love to hear John Cleese read. My favorite book tape is, "The Life of Pi". It's a cool book, but dude, the reader. He's so fabulous. I hear there's a "Return of the Native" book tape read by Alan Rickman. I don't even like Retrun of the Native but I NEED that book tape.
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Thank you! It's nice to be home.
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I love reading your family conversations. At least your grandmother talks about movies, even if she has, ah, differing opinions on Johnny Depp? I think my grandparents didn't even consider movies as an option; it was like going to the movies was equivalent to going to China or something.
I used to listen to a lot of books on tape when I was commuting to work, but until this year hadn't listened to anything in a long time. This past Christmas we got a present from my in-laws that at first I was dubious about: audio plays of the Narnia books. The reason I was dubious is that they are by that horrible Focus on the Family group. But they are very good! If you like those books, that is. Very well produced and quite exciting, with sound effects, all the characters have different voices, and background music and everything. Really faithful to the books.
So anyway -- hi and nice to see you back!
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Oh, the Narnia books sound interesting! I like the ones that are like radio plays (with actors and sound effects, I mean). I'll have to try them out some times (I always need some good ones for going up to visit my brother in Austin).
Thanks! And it's nice to be back.
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Glad you're back; missed you!
Great trip, clearly. Mucho thanks for the sharing of tales and pics.
Speaking of pics --- May I save your photo of Lake Michigan? I'd like to print it out and tape it over my desk. It'll cool me off during the upcoming heat wave.
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And sure you can save it! Sometimes during August I just look at my Michigan photos and pant. Then I get drool on my computer and it's messy. ;o)
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TKMom: You have ice cream on your belly.
Hahahahahahaha! I heart your family. Even though I've never met them.
Also, Errol Flynn was gay.
Welcome back! *smooch*
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And ha! I didn't know Flynn was gay. I just thought it was funny that my grandmother's ideal pirate was so . . . you know, feather in his hat.
Thanks!
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The conversations you get into your family, especially when they spiral into BtVS-related stuff are amazing. I've noticed a trend, but maybe I'm wrong--when a member of your family really wants to level with you or convince you of something, they start referencing BtVS.
Glad you're back, except...pretty soon I'm gonna be gone, kinda, I think, for a week or so.
Also, WHO IS SEEING VK?
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Yeah, I read you're going to Chicago! I finally went there this summer. Okay, for 2 hours, but great deep dish pizza.
I believe
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DUNES!
He flits, he floats, he fleetly flees he flies? You never fail me with the SoM shout-outs.
and I thought, "hey, we're in Oklahoma? I could go see Sue!" and then we didn't, because we weren't actually in Oklahoma, duh. And eeee! A Sue shout out. I have no sense of geography, tired or no. I think ever big river is the Mississippi and I start singing "Old Man River" and everyone looks at me funny 'cause it's the Red River we're on and no.
I MISSED YOU. You have NO idea. How was your cup of B/A coffee??? Michigan - pretty. I'll stop hating it because you were there. Um...I think you saw Stoney talking about religion...and you read what I've skated so far...Kita wrote something I need to read...and Caza's still working on his Les Miz/BtVS and the X/A pairing (with B/A on the side) is kicking in and he just wrote Xander singing (ala "On My Own") "In the rain, his tall hair shines like silver! His shirt clings to him, I wish it'd rain forever..." Hahahaha! I'm in love with Caza.
Also, you. And a bit queer for Chrislee and Lynne. And DB. Except not gay, 'cause he's a dude.
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I missed you too! The coffee was great! But I didn't add any vodka. My mom has vodka from Russia! I have a coffee foam-y thing. I'd've taken a pic except I don't have a digital camera.
I think Kita has something I need to read too. OMG, I love Caza! "Master of the School" CRACKED ME UP. I sing that all the time anyway, but now I'm gonna have to do it Cordy style. Your husband is a genius. His tall hair shines like silver, OMG.
DB may be a dude but you know you can always just put his head on a woman's body if you're gay like that. In fact, you could put his head on Chrislee or Lynne's body. Okay that sounds really dirty. Like the book tape.
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And thanks. I love my family too and it's nice to be back.
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(Anonymous) - 2006-07-30 13:23 (UTC) - Expand(no subject)
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I'm fairly certain that porn you were reading came from FF.Net.
Your convo about pirates and John Wayne remind me of Aaron's comments about manly professions and how all of them involve spending years without women. Snerk.
You're BACK!!!! I missed you.
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I was reminded of that, too! I mean, pirates. It's each other or the rats.
I missed you too! It was like half my brain was missing. :o)
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And wow, those are beautiful pictures.
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I'm so glad you're back! I want to write in all caps! I missed you so, and I love your recap, and your Granny needs to get some fairy-ass, and TKFolks rock it hardcore, and Yay Mr. A's watching Firefly now, and it's funny!
I know what you mean about cousins. So much so that I married the only cool one. Ooh, he called me just now. Because he's co-dependant and stuff, even though we just spent like the past four days in constant proximity with our families.
Anyway, I'm glad you're back, and let's party!
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See, I don't restrain myself from writing in all caps.
your Granny needs to get some fairy-ass,
I completely agree.
Firefly rocks. I'm so glad your husband likes it!
Most of my cousins--just, blaghumph. But these two cousins--if I had sisters, I'd want them. I can't see wanting to marry either on of them, though ;o)
OMG, I missed you, we need to set up chat, or something, and talk about Erik/the Persian, and how are you?
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Love your conversations - TKGranny sounds like a lot of fun, and the fact that you all busted on her is adorable.
And what an image: Nathan Lane from the Birdcage looking like John Wayne = Jack Sparrow. Now *that's* a Kodak moment!
Good to have you back with your own shower.
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Yeah, my Gran's great. I hope I have her for as long as possible.
My mom says my Jack impression was freakishly spot on.
I got your email and your fic, and wanted to know I'll get to them this weekend. My brother came over from Austin suddenly (twice in one week!) and turns out I'm going to Austin this weekend, too, but we only ever sit around so that's some nice fic time. Can't wait to see what you've done with it.
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