lettered | Fulfillment From Fanfic

Current Mood: in pain, but fucking ecstatic.

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Fulfillment From Fanfic

Does writing fanfiction make you happy?

Of course it does. That's why you do it. If that's not why you do it, don't tell me.

But what I want to know is, is it a happy that staves off boredom and is entertaining, rather than a happy that makes you want to jump up and down and run in circles and smile all the time because you're secretly thinking of what you're going to write next? Is it the kind of happy that makes it so you can't wait to sit down in front of your computer so you can see what happens next? Is it the kind of happy that every once in a while makes you bursty feeling?

I hope it is.

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I find writing fiction incredibly difficult, and occassionally even painful. It's frustrating and tedious and makes me wanna tear out my hair. The fun part comes in those "AHA!" moments, when I think of something so brilliant that I can't believe I thought of it. It's like... I'm staring off into space, trying to think of the perfect word or the perfect metaphor, and my mind is just blank... and then suddenly I just *see* it there, floating in front of me, and I snatch it out of the air before it flies away. Those moments make me happy.

Also, getting positive feedback makes me happy. Getting pimped makes me happy. And most of all, having the damn thing finally *written* makes me positively giddy. That part is a high that lasts for days, compelling me read the whole thing over and over and over again. Yes, I am *that* vain. :P

Yes.

To everything, except the boredom part. I adore fanfic wiritng and don't do nearly enough of it ... I love channeling the characters and bringing them to the page because it's a physical necessity. It's like ... I don't know, some kind of psychic cleansing or mystical bloodletting. When I get cooking there's nothing like it. It's a survival imperative -- but that's what writing is for me, generally.

Perfect example -- and not a self-pimp but an example that's very fresh -- is the birthday fic for Maren. That was going to be a drabble. Not that I couldn't give it 100 words, but I didn't want to. I loved Angel's mustache and his Xander lust, and Buffy's vague dissapointment with getting everything she dreamed about at a 17-year-old. And it may well become a full fledged fic because they came to me with a story to tell. I truncated it so I could post it on the actual day of Maren-birth, but if I hadn't? I'd still be writing it now.

Do you write character journals with fic nobody will ever, ever read but you have to write it because you can't stand it if you don't? I do.

I love your questions. They bring me Joy! And who doesn't love Joy? And oooh! Don't you love that Tempe's name is Joy, and that her mother named her after two virtues? Just sayin'.

I contribute to the fandom with icon making. That makes me happy like writing fanfiction can make fanfic writers happy - it can be boring and tedious, but when you get something great - like the color you've been wanting forever, all by yourself - then it's awesome. Then all of the shiney comments when you post your stuff!

Kind of unrelated, but kind of not, so ;p

Writing fan fiction for me is very challenging and a constant learning process. But, there's something so satisfying about putting my work out there and having people react to it, to know that it affected them enough that they felt the need to say something. This is such a warm community and the encouragement I receive and the expectations I have for myself keep it fun, as well as the love I have for these shows and these characters.

I am very much a perfectionist. I also have no patience. This is a very bad combination because I won't write anything for a very long time out of fear that it will suck. Then, once I have something I want it to be done. I don't want to wait for that silly editing process, though I know it's vital.

Fic writing can be painful or it can be just really exciting, but it depends on how I'm approaching it. If I'm trying to force myself to write, then it just hurts, but if I have an idea? If I feel on and like the story is flowing? Then I get the bursty feeling because whatever the idea is, it will haunt me until I get it out. I just wish that happened more frequently.

I don't feel like I ever use it as a way to stave off boredom. I think I'm happiest at fic writing when I do it because a scene has randomly popped into my head, and I can see it so clearly and I feel like bad wrong things will happen if I don't get it written down and build a story around it. I find it the most frustrating when I'm writing to suit a challenge I don't feel and it's not coming, or I'm writing something that works so much better in my head than it's turning into on paper... which is happening now.
But yes, every once in a while I get that bursty feeling, when everything feels like it's just working out right. That's pretty nice.

I don't write because I'm bored. I write because all of a sudden I must.

It used to be that way to me. The happy high of writing. I haven't had that in ages, for several reasons, and it makes me incredibly sad.

*Since this isn't a happy comment, I will completely understand if you wish to delete it.

a happy that makes you want to jump up and down and run in circles and smile all the time because you're secretly thinking of what you're going to write next? Is it the kind of happy that makes it so you can't wait to sit down in front of your computer so you can see what happens next? Is it the kind of happy that every once in a while makes you bursty feeling?
Yes yes yes! :) (Except at the moment I'm also incredibly frustrated because I have next to no time for writing and I have all these stories in my head getting increasingly impatient!)

Here via the Herald btw. *waves*

Fic writing is half and half happy and hair-ripping-out.

*Finishing* is a more a calm sense of satisfied accomplishment than an endorphin rush. But just as good.

Hearing that someone else liked it? Icing on the cake.

(My OTP receives the most attention because it's practically become my reason to breathe. But I also love how so many off-the-cuff random brain explosions turn into something worth exploring.)

This is going to be brief because I've had a long LONG day and it's time to hit the highway and debate going to the gym.

Fic gives me the dreadful, shivery kind of happy that won't let me sleep nights until I get it out of my head. Sometimes, it's a compulsive, hand on paper kind of thing that I'm only vaguely aware of. Sometimes it's an intense urge to create, something, anything and then I think and plot and TRY to write. It's best when images flicker behind my eyelids and usually that happens just as I'm laying down to go to sleep and that kind of sucks. But, hey! It be's that way sometimes.

I can't wait to read the other comments tomorrow!

Fanfic writing for me is FUN when I'm being funny (to me), I'm amusing myself and there's no thought about what others will think. When I'm writing something I actually care about though (which I've done only rarely) it can be fun because the words are coming and oh, god, I have to get them out and then someone reads it and has an insightful comment and I think "Oh dear god they expect depth!" and then it's less fun because I become aware of what I'm doing.

I often overthink - I'm at my personal best when I wing it.

I would say that fanfic writing for me is fun when the creativity is flowing, when I get a feeling of accomplishment (like finishing SMCD - first multi-chaptered anything I've ever finished) and feedback is always fun. So I like feedback. And penis jokes.

But what I want to know is, is it a happy that staves off boredom and is entertaining, rather than a happy that makes you want to jump up and down and run in circles and smile all the time because you're secretly thinking of what you're going to write next?

Can I tell you how many times my husband has come into a room to find me all by myself, grinning like the Cheshire Cat? I am always busted when thinking about stories. I sometimes wonder if the people I walk past in the hallways at work think I'm slightly insane.

It used to be the happy of productive non-boring but lately it's been the "run around in circles with glee" kind...

It's not quite the run around in circles, but then I can't do that, but it's certainly all the other parts of happiness. I love writing, it does indeed make me very happy, I'm always thinking of 'what can I write next' and looking forward to thinking up new stories.

It's my salvation really.

When I'm doing it right--when I was in the middle of that Phantom story, for instance, by which I mean when it feels right--I liken the feeling to something almost sexual. It's the same sort of fluttery, nervous energy as when you meet someone new. I've decided this has to do with "creation," and the fact that our brains are made of chemicals. There are probably a limited number of ways for emotions to manifest themselves; fanfic writing, for some of us, is "up there" in intensity with lust, for lack of a better word.

Writing fanfic makes me happy in the way that I might be by going on a hike- sort of the serene, calm, peaceful happy that is contentment.
Reading fanfic makes me happy in the way that I want to gather everyone around me and stage a big-budget, pull out all the stops, production of a musical. Where I am the lead singer and dancer. Yeah.
So, I hope that answers your question. =)

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