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Fun Family Facts in La Vie de TKP

Hi I'm sort of alive!

So this past week has been pretty crazy. If you posted something chances are I didn't read it, but don't link me to it now 'cause ... I still won't be able to read it.

But I'll be ghosting about, and should be back regularly by next week. Then I can read the rest of the IWRY Marathon stories, reply to emails, read fics, leave fb, and dump wild and crazy meta on you that's been stewing forever, and possibly also that cracktastic Spangel thing.

But for now, lots of family and lots of food and lots of stuff and lots of driving later, I have those strange intersections of family, friends and fandom to share.

I met a Browncoat. This was on the trip to Austin to pick up my friend from the Concert Of Her Life. Anyway, Browncoat, friend of my friend, said she'd been to all the conventions, met all the primary stars except Gina Torres, and had a Jayne hat! And we talked lots of fandom.

Granny reads People magazine. TKMommy and I think magazines are lame, especially magazines like People. But Granny brings it, and we come. Succumb, that is. It is there, and we read it. Can't seem to help it when it's there in front of us. And in the Whatevermost Sexiest men, it had Jamie Bamber! TKMommy: "Archie! Archie Kennedy! People magazine, you lose at life for not including David Boreanaz. It invalidates your whole scheme."

That's when there was this whole discussion about DB being Teh Sex. And yes, actually said "teh," because my brothers are the biggest internet dorks ever. We talked about the cat in ur ceiling, watchin u masturbate, and TkBrother2 kept saying, "lol" pronounced "lawl" when no one was being funny.

Speaking of not hating and masturbating, I told the story about how you could get a vibrator from a vending machine in a pub in Scotland for only a few pounds, right in from of TKFred (my grandfather). Oops. I wanted to tell the story about DB and Lee's vibrator, but I wasn't sure my brothers would really appreciate it. Rock on, Lee, rock on.

So s-i-l#1 does not know who DB is, and that's when I said he makes me spontaneously ovulate, right in front of Granny. Oops. But then s-i-l#1 was very curious about this hottie, and saw the AtS dvds in the tv room, and said, "What, him? He's the one you said was so hot? He looks like a football player." This with disgust! I am Jack's stunned libido. Apparently, S-i-l1 is channeling my_daroga's libido. Or something! Dudes, he is sexay. How is that not visible? I do not go on like this over any other anyone.

Meanwhile, TkBrother#1 was like Archie Kennedy Who? So there was watching of Jamie Bamber in tights with an English accent, fanboying his sailor hunk Horatio Hornblower, affectionately dubbed Horey Hornyblower. Mr. Bamber doesn't do anything for me, especially as Kennedy, but there were mucho tears when everyone arranged themselves in front of the tv to see BSG and there was nothing. Even though we think the Fightclub one looks scary.

TkBrother#2 and s-i-l#2 got hooked on saving the world. of Warcraft. Which is the weirdest thing ever since they're very down on video games. And now I want to play with them. I think I'm out and the PULL ME BACK IN. /Pacino

Instead of saving the world of Warcraft. you should seize the day, 'cause tomorrow, you might be dead. Which TkBrother#2 called "carpe diem", and I scrunched my nose and said, "fish of the day?" And he laughed and laughed, but when I told him it was from Buffy, he sobered up right quick because he thinks Buffy is stupid. I am Jack's sad single violin.

This is why TKBrother#1 got the Buffy/Angel coffee mugs Sue gave me Every Time I Made Him Coffee. Since I'm the only one who can work the coffee machine, this happened a lot. There's a mug that says Mom and a mug that says Dad, and of course 50,000 Christmas mugs that say Joy, and a mug for TKbrother2 and s-i-l1 and other individual mugs for individual people, but no individual one for TkBrother#1, so he gets B/A. He'd like it if he tried it, Jesus, and I make good coffee.

I wanted to make them listen to my Connor mix too, which I said I got from my friend. TKBrother2 wanted to know if that was the friend he met, and I had to explain Stoney vs. Sue to him. Though sometimes in my head there is this StoneySue hybrid, where Sue has zits of Stoney sticking out all over her. Then we watched Batman and TKBrother2 and I talked about bats in Austin, and they do look like starfruit! Then I wanted Batman/Gordon slash, but only in my head.

LJ Fandom Land, is there Batman/Gordon slash? Please, and very dark?

Since there was so much talk of DB Granny knows his name now and wants to see him. I want to show her some BtVS eps but I don't know which! So then she found a comment about DB in the paper and it said he couldn't act. I am Jack's not so stunned libido. TKMommy says, "That man doesn't need to know how to act." The paper also said BSG is badass. Well, duh, paper.

And TKGranny thinks I'm some kind of tv buff now, because she cut out a page of People about being bald and beautiful, because TKBrother#1 is baldy mcbald. And I knew who Micheal Rosenwhatsit's name was, so now I know everything. Did not have the heart to tell her it was 'cause I think he'd be pretty screwing Clark Kent in textual internet porn. And then TKBrother#2 said, "Prawn?"

Speaking of prawns, on the way back from Austin I listened to an HP podcast, because my friend is a big fan. This one guy on there said, "You got pawned!" And everyone made fun of him and told him it was pronounced "powned." TKMommy wants to know why the internets is "internets." The podcast said HP 7 won't be coming out until 2008, which made me sad. TKBrothers had a long argument on the reliability of Urban Dictionary. God, we're all complete nerds.

Most the crazy wackiness is over, I think, except TKmommy is turning 50, and I have to plan/organize/cook for the party, and TKGrandparents are still here and apparently I'm their hired entertainer. Actually I am their computer laison which I hate because Granny keeps accusing me of losing her documents, but it's not me, it's her memory she's losing. This caused me in turn to lose my temper, mostly 'cause I'd had 9 hours of sleep in the last 60 hours. LJland, I do not lose my temper. But I lost it in Austin somewhere before picking up my friend and haven't found it since. This has made me TKAshamed for a while now, even though I apologized to both Granny and friend. *sniff* And I was sick! I had a fever on Thanksfiving.

I'm all raw nerves about my IWRY fic. I sent it in, so it is done, and I should stop stressing, but I'm still scratchy marbles about it. I freaking, love my story, the idea of it in my head, but even when I thought it up, I doubted I could pull it off. It's one of those, those juggling geese fics I do, where I'm trying something with the style and the narration and something I haven't quite seen before done with POV, something that to me is extremely experimental. But I didn't schedule carefully and didn't have time to pull it off, even if with more time I could have. It should've been shorter, for one thing, but it takes too long for me to write short. It's wordy and repetetive. It should've been more straightforward in its concept, and less bang you over the head in its theme. I like, mourn for that story. It coulda been a contendah./Brando

I'm sure the solution is pie. We have pecan, pumpkin, and apple, and I didn't have to make a single damn one of them!

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Your brain is on speed! Or something.

DB can so act! He acts like he wants to fuck everything in the room. What more do you need? (And I too can't understand people who don't have an orgasm as soon as they see him.)

Bamber doesn't do it for me either. He's got great eyes and a good body, but I just don't get that rush.

I am so glad that I am to uncoordinated to play any video games.

I'm sure there is Batman/Gorden slash. Bat slash doesn't do anything for me though, because in my heat of hearts I think he is asexual. (omygawd, I spent 35 seconds feeling good instead of moaning about My Dead Parents. If you have an interest, I know a excellent, long Bat/Cat story that hits a few of my kinks. Fantastically plotted and a great villain.)

I can't wait to read your IWRY syory. I'm all a twitter. And you can always revise it after the fact. Not that I've ever done that (whistles unconvincingly).

Yeah to Thanksgiving and wacky family! And pie!

I need nine hours of sleep a day. If I don't get it one day, I get mopey and bitchy. If I don't make it up soon, and keep getting shortened on sleep I go NUTS. The thing is, I actually usually tone down my natural...um, verve a LOT for lj, or else I sound like a hyperactive gerbil that just ate three vats of cotton candy and yes, speed. This is something I have to do in rl, too, or no one will ever know what I'm saying.

DB does not act like he wants to fuck everything in the room. Everything in the room acts like it wants to fuck DB. Did you see that chair in the last episode of Bones? Oh, yeah. But anyway, I actually think that for instance, JM is much better at having this kind of leashed sexuality. Sometimes when DB tries to be "sexy" he looks...cheesy.

I suck at video games too, but in WoW I like to bop around and pick flowers.

omygawd, I spent 35 seconds feeling good instead of moaning about My Dead Parents.

Huh?

If you have an interest, I know a excellent, long Bat/Cat story that hits a few of my kinks. Fantastically plotted and a great villain.)

I am interested indeed, but only if Batman is dark, broody, and motherfuckin scary.

I can't wait to read your IWRY syory. I'm all a twitter. And you can always revise it after the fact. Not that I've ever done that (whistles unconvincingly).

I did that with the Confessional, but none of the initial people who read it got the better version, you know? I really don't think you should look forward to my piece. Parts of it I think are really good but I'm actually quite depressed about it as a whole. I can't wait to read your story again. And all the other stories!

omygawd, I spent 35 seconds feeling good instead of moaning about My Dead Parents.

It's a reference to Bats actually enjoying himself for the 35 seconds of actual orgasm and forgetting that he has to hate the world because ARGH! dead parents. I just can't see him having sex because he might not brood for a minute or two.

The story I was talking about is Children of the Night by Nos. I don't know that Bats is scary here but he is horribly broken and he does do some terrible things to other people. One of the things it explores is the children he collects and trains. Is he doing them a favor or damaging them forever? I like the story a lot.

oh, I didn't realize you had slipped into batfirstperson.

Thanks for the link. I meant scary as in does terrible things to other people, not scary as in mysterious or creepy and that.

I wish I was up on more of the batman mythos, but I have a hard time because I am very particular about how I like my Batman. As a friend once said: the batman in my mind is always the best batman.

This is true for phantom of the opera too, huh.

He acts like he wants to fuck everything in the room
And for this he should win an Emmy!

Or, come to my house and demonstrate that acting talent.

Sorry- he's got a permament gig at *my* house.

cries bitter tears.

Dude. Did you think that all out really fast? Because while I was reading it, I was picturing you saying it all really fast. Except that I don't know what your voice sounds like, so I was really hearing myself say it really fast and projecting that onto a strange mental image of you. Anyway, it sounded like a super hyper stream of consciousness. But fun!

I kind of hate people who pronounce lol as "lawl," so I kinda hope I never meet your brother. I also don't think I've ever heard anyone say "pwned" out loud.
I was with TKBrother#1 on the Archie Kennedy who? thing, but imdb has educated me now. I haven't seen this Bamber guy in action, but his profile picture is working for me all right.

Looking forward to your IWRY! And am now craving pie.

How did that end up italicized?? HOW? I am computer deficient. I apologize for the damage to your eyes. I must use the difficult pie icon again, because the internets are DIFFICULT BUSINESS.

Hahahah well maybe YOU'RE hyper, too. As I said above to a2z, I usually try to tone down just how...um, excitable I am in general 'cause it's annoying and hard to follow, but I haven't had much sleep and it all spills out of me like a busted bean bag. If I wasn't very careful, every post I made would come off like this.

Well, I never heard anyone say lawl. I mean, why would ANYONE say that? It's like saying oh em gee. Which is precisely why I thought my brother saying lawl is such a hoot. And saying oh em gee is funny, too. I get a kick out of when my brother says outloud all the things I think are lame on the internet, 'cause when I see them online I think they're dumb, but when my brother says them, they're so cute!

Jamie Bamber has great arms, but he's so...pretty. I used to not do pretty, and apparently parts of me still don't. But you should watch Horatio Hornblower. God, one of the coolest adventure stories ever.

I'm looking forward to reading your IWRY too! I haven't gotten to read most the entries, so it's nice having some saved up to read!

I, too, sometimes think of Stoney'n'me as one of us with pustules of the other sticking out all over our heads.

And he laughed and laughed, but when I told him it was from Buffy, he sobered up right quick because he thinks Buffy is stupid. I am Jack's sad single violin. Hee!

And go you with the forcing upon of the B/A mug! And it's latte size, besides. He so lucked out.

You juggle geese better than anyone I know. Yay for fic! (And I read People any time I come across one.)

I, too, sometimes think of Stoney'n'me as one of us with pustules of the other sticking out all over our heads.

Well, really, who doesn't?

And go you with the forcing upon of the B/A mug!

He began to foster an affection for it, in the end. By which I mean he didn't smash it over my head.

You juggle geese better than anyone I know.

Thanks! But usually, I get a chance to try really hard and do what I feel is the best I can do. This time I didn't have time to do that. It's a mess.

And I read People any time I come across one.)

Me too. And despise myself for it.

Pssst...are you on AIM? I'm signed on as cazavamps ('cause I'm too lazy to sign out) if you are...

SUE! I have to go watch Heroes. Because save the cheerleader, save the world. NOT OF WARCRAFT.

I'll be back in an hour though; I'd love to chat with you.

Hahahaha! I'm flist challenged after the holiday and am catching up, so I'll be here.

Hey, are you still on? cazavamps? 'cause it's not showing you. I'm J Sunshiny. I've had it happen before that I couldn't see a new friend on aim; I dunno what's up.

I bought that Sexiest Man issue and People magazine, you lose at life for not including David Boreanaz. It invalidates your whole scheme."
...they are clearly on crack...and not even the *good* crack. How could you have an sexiest man issue and not include David Boreanaz! Clearly- those guys paid to be in it.

Your family kills me. I want to hang with them.

Stop stressing about your IWRY story. Just STOP!
*loves*

You are the sweetest ever. I will stop bitching, pronto!

Clearly- those guys paid to be in it.

Did you read the part where the asked Clooney who should've made it, and he said Matt Damon? I couldn't figure out whether that whole thing was a joke or not, but it was funny anyway. I feel like petitioning the magazine and telling them they're stupid for not putting DB.

I love my family! I want you to hang with them too!

So s-i-l#1 does not know who DB is, and that's when I said he makes me spontaneously ovulate, right in front of Granny. Oops. But then s-i-l#1 was very curious about this hottie, and saw the AtS dvds in the tv room, and said, "What, him? He's the one you said was so hot? He looks like a football player."

This is why I don't talk about DB to anyone in RL. My s-i-l said the same thing to me. Not the football player bit, but the other. What? Him? Who's is? Gah!!!

Granny reads People magazine. TKMommy and I think magazines are lame, especially magazines like People. But Granny brings it, and we come. Succumb, that is. It is there, and we read it. Can't seem to help it when it's there in front of us. And in the Whatevermost Sexiest men, it had Jamie Bamber! TKMommy: "Archie! Archie Kennedy! People magazine, you lose at life for not including David Boreanaz. It invalidates your whole scheme."

Teehee! I love your family! I want to have your Granny! And Go TKMommy! She knows who's the sexiest man alive!

Since there was so much talk of DB Granny knows his name now and wants to see him. I want to show her some BtVS eps but I don't know which! So then she found a comment about DB in the paper and it said he couldn't act. I am Jack's not so stunned libido. TKMommy says, "That man doesn't need to know how to act." The paper also said BSG is badass. Well, duh, paper.

What about the nekkid scene when Angel drops down from hell and lands on the mansion floor! Guh! Dribble. I'm sure TKGranny can *handle* that!
And why do people say DB can't act? Have they even seen the show? Gwad help me!

I love reading your posts, tkp. You *slay* me.:~)))

PS. Your IWRY will be brilliant as usual! *smacks you upside your head.*

*hugs*

This is why I don't talk about DB to anyone in RL. My s-i-l said the same thing to me. Not the football player bit, but the other. What? Him? Who's is? Gah!!!

I just don't understand it. ARE THEY BLIND?

She knows who's the sexiest man alive!

She sure does! You should hear her when she's watching Bones: "Oh dear god. LOOK AT HIM. Do you see him, Joy? Dear god, that man." hahaha it's so funny! She's way worse than me.

And why do people say DB can't act?

Yeah, that part where he fell from the sky naked, that should get him an Emmy.

PS. Your IWRY will be brilliant as usual! *smacks you upside your head.*

Hee! Thanks! I'm still looking forward to reading your other fic...I got caught up in Thanksgiving and a billion other things, but I'm looking forward to it!

I just don't understand it. ARE THEY BLIND?

I can't understand it either. Perhaps they need to use braille. Run their piggies over his bod! No, on second thought, that pleasure is reserved for us, his adoring fans!

Yeah, that part where he fell from the sky naked, that should get him an Emmy.

*snort* Just by being! That's when *I'll* use braille. His body is a map of taut, tight, terrific flesh! *fans face* Is it hot in here?

*puddles*

I don't even know which icon to use for you, I love you so much. Your stream-of-consciousness quenches the thirst of my boredom.

Um, ew?

But ha! Even in my absence from your internetical life, I infringe on yo' consciousness. I am flattered I have won such a prestigous position in teh life of TKP, wherein I can stand in for all who don't pantyfan DB.

He is not made of sex, and does not act interested in anything. Because he does not act. And I watched "Harvest" last night and he made no sense. AT ALL. But at least he did not look like a football player with huge neck.

Sometimes in my head I think LOL or OMG or teh but I don't say it. I must try not to though, because I think it's funny. I don't know why. Perhaps so I can expose myself as an even bigger loser than everyone already knows me to be. I am tired of hiding.

My stream of consciousness scares me. I love you too, K! Yeah and I totally thought of you about my s-i-l not thinking DB is hot. Actually lots of people don't find him hot. You and sil are just the only people I know who I'm pretty sure are not like, on crack.

You are unfair to judge DB on Harvest. The CHARACTER didn't even freakin' make sense, in those days. I love his neck. Did I mention his larynx?

Oh. See, I never think lol or omg. The only things I've come close to saying aloud are "DB" and VK 'cause I think their names are hard to say, and "AtS", because I almost *never* think of the series as "Angel", ever, 'cause even in speech it's hard to distinguish whether you're talking about the person or the show. So if I was to say "lawl"...well, I just think it'd be funny because it would be a very deliberate reference to something stupid. Not like something that just slipped out because I'm a dork. I mean, I am a dork, but I would be saying it in an ironic way. Well, it would be funny to myself.

I am not unfairly judging DB based on "Harvest". I am judging him on EVERYTHING. "Harvest" was just the most recent grievance in my mind.

I'm pretty sure I think omg and lol ironically in my head. I am constantly laughing at my own dorkiness. And it really depends on how much time I've spent reading fandom_wank.

I don't think I refer to anything in its abbreviation. Well, I do say Buffy or Angel, but that's because contextually I am saying, "do you want to watch x?" so it makes sense. I remember once when I was 14 or so I said "MC" for Michael Crawford (because in those days he came up in conversation a lot) and my brother made fun of me.

You're not allowed to put Harvest on your list of grievances. I FORBID IT.

I go to f_w when I feel depressed about the world. It shouldn't cheer me up, but it does.

Well, I do say Buffy or Angel, but that's because contextually I am saying, "do you want to watch x?" so it makes sense.

I am confused by this sentence.

I don't refer to things as abbreviations in rl speech, but I think them in my head.

I need to go bathe myself. Am disgusting.

You were confused:

Well, I do say Buffy or Angel, but that's because contextually I am saying, "do you want to watch x?" so it makes sense.

I was referring to your contention that you abbreviate AtS because "Angel" could mean the show or the guy. I thought you were still talking about talking out loud, so I pointed out that I personally use "Angel" to mean the show because in the context of talking about it, it's obvious I'm talking about the show and not the guy. Because the only time it's mentioned is when I say, "do you want to watch Angel or Buffy?"

Which is way too much explanation.

Take a bath, you stinker.

I'm all for Batman/Gordon slash! Especially with the newer Batman movies, with Gary Oldman playing Gordon. =)
Oh my gosh, I thought it was "pawned" too! Shows how much I know! =P I wonder if it would still be okay if I pronounce it that way, because I like how that sounds better?
I like your stories of your family. =)
And... this was a really random comment. =P =)

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Fun Family Facts in La Vie de TKP

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