What is up?

[lettered]

Hello everyone. I haven't been on my journal in a while. I really miss you guys.

Lately I have: started yet another job, felt unwilling or unable to clean my room and keep up with laundry, failed at grazieprego, celebrated the release of Sarah Rees Brennen's book, The Demon's Lexicon here with sarahtales, orexisbella and all the cool marmalade fish (go read it; it's really good!). I have gained a new niece, not visited my cousin as much as I would like, angsted about Dreamwidth and how I'd like to move there but it seems like too much work. I have conceived a brilliant Buffyverse story, which awesomeness overwhelmed me for precisely 1.7 days, at which point I realized lynnenne had already written it and called it Vicarious. I have interviewed for new jobs and started learning about the stars, and become so addicted to caffeine that when I didn't have it this morning I pretty much felt the worst I've ever felt. I have failed to research making a website or ask about making one for marmalade_fish, failed to email seraphcelene whom I really miss, failed to stay in contact with lots of people who are important to me, but happily reconnected with some other people (like my best friends in Houston and my old room mate), started playing D&D, and discovered that even in the company of geeks I'm still geekier, because getting drunk off my ass and clubbing just never sounds that fun to me.

But mostly, it's been Star Trek. I have mainlined the Original Series, I have spent most evenings perusing the kink meme (st_xi_kink), I have posted over 7 prompts and filled 3, started filling approximately 5 more, have started at least 7 other fics besides those, and have written 25,000 words in the fandom without finishing any of it. I have read Nimoy's biography I Am Spock, listened to Shatner's albun Has Been at least three dozen times, obsessed for hours and hours with my_daroga, fallen in love with Bill Shatner, fallen in love with Shatner/Nimoy, but not quite as much as Kirk/Spock. I've posted anonymously for the first time in my life because my fanfiction confused me and my requests sort of overwhelmed me, and I've been so grateful that my_daroga feels similar to me because it has made me feel less weird, and because she's so clever and talented and insightful, and because I love her.

I have been waiting without much patience for the next chapter of this story, I have roleplayed ST characters in three different venues, I have read published and unpublished 70s K/S fanfiction, I've written and not posted probably about 5K worth of meta about Shatner, Kirk/Spock, and the role of women in ST and media. I've talked more about sex and probably more openly than I ever have in my life, I've fallen in love with space and sci fi, I appear to have lost all shame, and I signed up for a big bang. I've fallen in love with genderbending and tentacle sex, and last Saturday my_daroga, Mr. Daroga, and I drove all the way down to Portland to see the episode "Amok Time" performed live in a park by some dudes with bad costumes. I have actually not read that much ST fanfiction, because I've been too consumed by the kink meme, and how much there is, and confused about what is going on in ST fandom and where it is going on, and how to find any of it. I do not think I've figured in the fandom at all, I have met very few people in it, I've felt unable to post any of my fic or meta, and feel like I'm dancing the periphery of something I'd really like to be a part of, but feel too overwhelmed or self-conscious to really join.

I've felt overwhelming confusion about how to express all this on my livejournal, because despite the fact that long ago I stopped living and breathing Buffyverse, I still feel that's where I made most my friends, and I feel like talking about ST the way I did about BtVS would bore most people here, but going and meeting new people and trying to get them interested in me and being interested in them feels really intimidating because I'm shy in some ways, and anyway I still want to have things to say to the awesome people I already know here. But my flist is really overwhelming, and I don't know what's going on with anyone, and I really miss you all!

So, that's me. What's up with you? *puts chin in hands, ready to listen*

Comments

[imnotacommittee.livejournal.com]

I kind of have guy trouble and I became an aunt again. And oh yeah: Snape kicks ass.

And a SoM/Indy cross over keeps coming into my mind.

Star Trek!? I would have never thought you'd be a fan. What did you think of the movie?

[tkp.livejournal.com]

This is my niece! See how adorable! You should show me yours and we could have a cuteness war. RAR!

Sorry about the guy trouble :o( You should tell me some time. I should email you! I found an icon of the Captain at the table with all the kids that says, "Eat your effing streudle!" And I thought of you.

Snape is always awesome. What prompted this?

hahahah crossover that is awesome.

Oh, A, I'm so dead gone for Trek, it's ridiculous. Why didn't I seem the type?

[lynnenne]

I have gained a new niece

YAY! Nieces are the best invention EVER.

angsted about Dreamwidth and how I'd like to move there but it seems like too much work

Me, too.

I have conceived a brilliant Buffyverse story, which awesomeness overwhelmed me for precisely 1.7 days, at which point I realized lynnenne had already written it and called it Vicarious.

Write it anway, and call it the 1.7 Days Remix! Remixes from you are ALWAYS WELCOME. \0/

Yay for shiny new fandoms! I'm glad you're having such fun.

I got to visit with stoney321 last week, which totally pwnd the whole summer so far.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I agree they are amazing!

I'll do DW eventually. I just, ugh, have to DO it!

Yeah, I got this idea to do genderbending, with Angel being the one turning into a girl, since I've only ever seen people do Spike. And then I was like, what if Spike got all hot from girl!Angel and Angel got hot from it because he started thinking about Buffy, and got Spike to do him like he did Buffy! And then I was like, wouldn't it be so heartwrenching and bittersweet if then Angel did Spike like he did Buffy and Spike knew he might not be talking to him (but might be after all) when he said I love you?

And then I went . . .uh, this already happened in my head. And Lynne wrote it, even if there was no girl!Angel.

Yay Stoney! I'm glad you had fun!

[theantijoss.livejournal.com]

\o/ \o/

WHY IS THE DVD NOT OUT YET? *sobs*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

...how do you know about my thing for Gaila?

*looks around, wild eyed*

[laliandra.livejournal.com]

A niece! How delightful!

Well, me, I have graduated from university and wore swishy Snape like robes. I have been to sunny beaches and written RPS on them. I have frequented the marmfish chatroom and written boomdeyada songs and been blamed for everything.

I met Sarah Rees Brennan! I watched HBP and wanted to write long sweeping H/D after reading Aja's nostalgia post.

And oh wow, I hear you about Star trek, because it's this huge place and I feel like the kink meme is sort of holding my hand into it. In a kinky way, obviously. And I am lurking on the edge only really reading things written by people I already know/stalk and I feel like I know too much to be written off as just a newbie but way, way not enough to be a Trekkie...

Anyway, oh GOD, I have written way more than I meant to. It is lovely to hear from you!

<3

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, congrats on graduating!

Who are you rps'ing?

Yeah, thanks for being so awesome on marmalade fish!!! I totally blame you for being super cool.

I have yet to watch HBP. Dude, I didn't know you wrote new H/D; I'll have to read it.

Even though I'm still mostly stalking I feel like I'm totally a Trekkie now. I don't join fandoms any more, apparently; I just silently go crazy over them. That's sort of what I did for H/D!

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

Hi hi hiiiiiiii! So good to see you! I've been dabbling in ST myself!!! Hiiiiiiiiiii!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Have you written anything? What? Link me! It's good to see you too ;o)

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, grats on the new niece! I went and saw mine last weekend for the first time she's become a person (she's now 18 months) and I've decided nieces are 5 stars!

I have been throwing myself at one book after another :)

I feel you on the feeling-out-your-relationship-with-LJ. I say talk about what you're loving and just love the heck out of it.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen mine since she became a person. Last time I saw her she was a squishy in s-i-l's belly! Glad you got to see yours!

Oooh, any good books?

Yeah, I think it's best to just say what you're feeling. I just get so tied up. I'm unwilling to speak unless to say something that will impress the whole room.

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Good to see you about! And I get how you feel about LJ - I'm lazy and flounder and just post a lot and see what happends. Being proactive seems like way too much hard work. :D

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I wish I was better at floundering! I get so tied up about things.

nice to see you too!

[my_daroga]

I love you so much. I'm so glad I have you when you disappear. I'm getting mush in public about you.

Why do people ship us, what?

Anyway. Yes. I don't have anything to say. Except that.

And Bill Shatner loves you. He doesn't have to know you to do so. He's that awesome.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I think Bill Shatner loves everyone. And the mountain.

<3

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Welcome back, and it's good to see you are back around. I'm not a big Star Trek person, but trust me, a good many of our friends on LJ sure are...

[tkp.livejournal.com]

hey! what's up? hope you're keeping yourself well!

[stultiloquentia.livejournal.com]

JOY!!! Emailing you a general "HI HOW ARE YOU?" was actually on my to do list this week, right after "IBARW post", but before "finish the damned Buffy story!" I am so glad you're still alive, although I guess I at least knew that much, because my_daroga posted a picture of you in front of a waterfall (neat).

FIRST OF ALL: I don't want to, like, pressure you to post all your Trek glee here; you are allowed to be shy and confusedly kinky, or kinkily confused, or whatever, but I DO want to state in firm tones that I got to know and like YOU, back in the Golden Days of Buffy, not just your Buffy fic, and I really am interested in reading your journal no matter what your current obsession. And anyway, I'm interested in (though too green to be properly fannish about) Star Trek. Roomie is a huge fan of DS9, and reads all the Voyager femslash she can get her hands on, so I think my eventual topple into Trekkiedom is inevitable.

I want to read your Trek kink. Aw, puleeeeeaze! Come on, this is fandom; in the other window I've got Spike decorated with a bloody lip and one sock, shoving his fingers up Buffy's bum.

And yet, I get you. I've drifted from Buffy and started posting bits of Stargate fic, and my readership (or active commenters, anyway) has dropped like a stone. I've got that one piece of Spuffy porn to unload before I hunker down to work on a multi-chapter (this is terrifying, for me) SG-1 project, but I wonder if anybody's left to read it. Meh.

What's up with me? Oh, gee, le'see. Dreamwidth, baby. I'm helping with documentation and fangirling the devs, wishing I had time to learn perl or at least CSS for srs. damned_colonial's OSCON keynote on women in Open Source gave me an eight-hour grin. I'm so flipping proud of her, them, us.

Speaking of, I'd love to see you there, but I'm cool if you maybe want to wait until it's out of beta. Right now its differences from LJ are mostly in the tiny tweaks and improvements, but oh, they have coolness planned. (Though: I'm probably going to have to split this comment, which I wouldn't have to do, there. Also, this week's new feature: paid journals are searchable! Okay, I shut up now.)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

aw, I miss you.

I'll totally post Trek stuff here eventually. I just have so much to say, it's overwhelming. Like maybe there's some stuff I'm shy about, but mostly it's I can't order any of my thoughts, it's all so whirly. Maybe I was like this with BtVS, I dunno, but I didn't have a job or much of a social life at the time, and got a really pleasure from sitting down and taking all my thoughts apart. But now I feel like I just don't have time to do that so I just throw a lot at my_daroga and keep even more to myself and then go read kink meme to make myself feel better. This has been going on over two months.

But anyway I'm glad you're into it. You'll be happy, maybe, once I finally put my name on the porn I did post. Spock was a girl in it. There were thoughts about women in it. I was going to repost under my name, only haven't yet because I want to actually finish it. But I can't, because I'm so confused. Apparently when Spock is a girl, in my head it's suddenly alright to have him like, really really be a slut for it and be all pliant and 'give it to me' and stuff, which is not right, because that's ooc for Spock, and furthermore I don't want to write anything where if someone is a girl suddenly they can't be on top or a dominant partner in bed. But the thing is Spock tends to be very confident because he knows exactly what he's doing, Vulcans know their minds and bodies very well, they can regulate them and shit. But suddenly he has this body he doesn't know at all and he's all wet and soft and has a g-spot and can orgasm over and over and over again and Jim knows it, knows it really really well, like a whole lot better than Spock, and Spock's all confused and "wha . . ..? I told you I cannot produce a single orgasm more, captain--wait here I go". Anyway it's very confusing to me.

Oh! I want to read your stargate fic. I don't know anything about stargate, but I want to read it. I'd love to read your multi-chaptered one!!! So exciting. Good luck.

I'm totally going to go onto DW once I figure it all out. I'll still cross-post here and stuff, but I want that to be my main account, definitely.

[stultiloquentia.livejournal.com]

I'm also playing with Fanlore, mostly assembling link lists and writing little blurbs for people I fangirl that I upload in bunches. I'm watching nothing much, but reading a ton, and I'm sitting on Dollhouse and HP reviews. And I fell for a particular Stargate AU about as hard as you did for SRB, and have been writing and daydreaming lots about those characters. I think it was I who recced Maya to you, way back when, wasn't it? I wonder if I could do it again with this one. Now that you like SPACE and all. :D I bet, I just bet, that you'd love it.

Hey, space! Have you seen destina's space vid, and killabeez' Dante's Prayer?

What is up. Today in particular, I am facepalming in the internet's general direction for its pictures of Obama, naked, with unicorns, and wailing, "IT'S SO TRUE," at the latest xkcd comic, and desperately researching cabbages, because my CSA gave me four in three weeks.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

You did rec Maya to me. I had seen her linked around, and tried her quite a few times before you recced her to me, and frankly could not get into what I read. But when you recced her, I figured, "Well, if Stulti says so . . ." Plus, when I voiced my complaints, you pointed me to QoM, which was really the best starter fic for me, I think. Did you read The Demon's Lexicon? You should. And it's fandom is already awesome. I have fanfic for it, but it's too hard to write. So I go read more kink meme.

Fanlore is awesome, though probably too overwhelming for me. I am overwhelmed by many things, as you can see. Part of my problem is that I'm slow. Part of the reason for that, and another problem of mine, is that I'm very thorough. I do everything so thoroughly I never want to do anything.

Don't think I've seen either of those vids . . .

You should give me the SG AU link. I can't stand another fandom right now! But some day I would like to read it. Maybe some day I'll even watch Stargate. I do love space! I've always liked sci fi, but in general loved fantasy more (well, depends on how you define the genres. One author said one was trees and one was rivets, I'm talking that definition). Now I'm starting to have trouble understanding why I ever felt that way.

But I'm even getting into the technical aspects. MY NEW JOB IS AS A PLANETARIAN. I can go outside and find the Summer Triangle, and Vega, and Sagittarius. And I can't stop thinking . . . one day we're gonna DO THIS THING. By which I mean space. Also, I like the word space. I wrote a fic where Kirk was a Mary Kay SPACE STYLIST. It was for a joke, because he had to lend Spock his eyeshadow and tell him the eyeliner was only for when one of them was evil. Oh, Kirk, and his evil eyeliner. I'm getting distracted.

What, I love Obama with unicorns. Someone did Chekov with a unicorn--you see my trek problem, how I can't really think about other things. Now I need to go see the xkcd comic. Cabbages are awesome!

[gaudy-night.livejournal.com]

*waves*

Um, I have to go back to school soon but will make time to attend the Star Trek convention next week in Vegas. :)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii! OMG I'm so glad you've succumbed!

[dreamwaffles.livejournal.com]

I'm just a fish poking my head in to say hi. :D

Not much is up with me. I'm working in a dentist's office. My official title is Sterilization Tech but I variously call myself "the Ianto", "the Jeeves", and "The Cleanup Fairy". The last one is my favorite.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Hey dude! We should do another meeting, yeah?

If you're the Ianto, do you ever get any Jack? Any Wooster? Any . . . who belongs to the Cleanup Fairy again?

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

drove all the way down to Portland to see the episode "Amok Time" performed live in a park by some dudes with bad costumes This has now replaced "juggles geese" in my file of "sentences that remind me of Joy."

I have an 11 month old who walks. We are taking a family vacation to Cancun in October (crazy? or crazy fun!) Caza and I decided to mainline the Trek films after the reboot and passed out from boredom halfway through The Motion Picture. I got turned out during "Wrath of Kahn" (no, not the ear slugs. Or Ricardo's plastic abs) and we missed most of it. We haven't tried Search For Spock yet.

Hi, you!

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

That should be turned on, not turned out. Caza is not pimping me out. Yet.

[redbrickrose.livejournal.com]

Hey, you! Congrats on the new niece!

And yay for new fandoms! Tell us about Star Trek. We'll listen! It seems to be one of the next big things. I know it's all over *my* flist, anyway. *g*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

THanks! How are you? I miss you! A lot!

I'll totally post about ST. Some day. I'm so overwhelmed by it, and it's been over two months. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I figured there might actually be a lot of converts on my flist, since the little I've seen of the fandom is so huge and producing so much, it seems like people are flocking in droves. It makes me happy but also makes me go, "gah!!! I don't know what's going on!" a lot.

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

And now I demand you post links to the ones you've written anonymously! :D :D :D

heh I've actually been seeing you around a lot more since that kink meme started than before. :P

[tkp.livejournal.com]

heeeeeeeeeeeeee. I am going to rewrite one, and post that here and elsewhere. It needs a little work.

Another one shall never see the light of day!

The last one was not anon, but was total crack. It was about Kirk doing Spock's makeup. I don't even know where the link is.

I only saw you on the meme that once! Where ya been? Written any ST fic?

[she-and-i-were.livejournal.com]

Star Trek was my original before any other fandoms. Captain Janeway is pwnage. I think one of my first tv memory's was of Kirk surrounded by furry balls o.o. I think that might explain somethings.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Janeway is indeed awesome!

I didn't ever really watch TOS when I was little; I was raised on TNG. I did however watch Trouble With Tribbles for a math class (exponential equations!)

[nani.livejournal.com]

I miss you!

Oh, Star Trek... *dreamy eyes* I do love you, so. I want to William Shatner when I grow up. My boyfriend and I have decided that, in our relationship, I am the Kirk to his Spock. Which means that I am kind of a dick, but that also means we can have hot Vulcan sex! Right? Right.

So post your Kirk/Spock fanfiction, woman! Feed my illness!

I have been boring and unproductive. I still haven't managed to find a job and I went to Texas with my beloved Mr. Spock for the better part of a month to chill out with his mom's family. I even attended the annual family reunion! And I was extremely pleased, if slightly concerned, that almost everyone there (there were 57 of his relations there. 57!!) knew who I was without my having to introduce myself. Word got around, apparently... These past couple of days, I've been missing the swimming hole in the river that passes through his grandmother's property. I kept wanting to live in there, but they wouldn't let me.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand... That's pretty much it. -_-

Ninja edit for comprehensibility of who "we" is. I swear I'm not talking about myself and my split personality. Last time I checked, I don't have one of those.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Want to what William Shatner? Because if there's any SHATNER I WANT TO DOOOOO HIM. Like how if there are any girls in the brothel when I'm having my Mt. Dew and Funyuns and shooting magic missiles into the darkness.

Heeeeeeee. Kirk wasn't that much of a dick. I think what makes Kirk such a great character is they wrote him pretty straight (not that kind of straight, since he's really really bi, like he took 3 in the Kinsey scale and had hot sex with it). Like he's so perfect and wonderful and brilliant and always does the right thing. But then he's played by Shatner who's this cocky asshole who has sex with everything with his eyes. And it's the juxtaposition of that part and that actor that make him, you know, FUCKING AWESOME. I think as the series progressed they started writing Kirk to be more like Shatner, which is actually too bad.

Texas! Did you know I'm from TX? I spent the first 24 years of my life before I moved here in Houston. They always have those big motherfucking family reunions! Where in TX were you?

I want a swimming hole!

It'd be funny if you had a relationship with yourself and one of you was Kirk and one was Spock. They are the same person, really, with twice the hotsauce!

We should hang.

[seraphcelene]

Of course you would post while I am away.

I have rediscovered life outside of the four walls of my existence. Lusted after very hot, SINGLE, gentlemen in love with their families. Lamented my own shyness and its terrible grip. Regretted not being more bold. Sailed for days and days, wore a leopard print dress with 4 inch red sling backs. Danced the night away two days in a row and developed a reputation for being "that girl" at the disco. I also dislocated my thumb getting into a pool in Mazatlan.

I am not looking forward to going back to work.

I LOVE that you love ST.

I wish that you would post more, but have no legs to stand on since my own posting has become spotty at best. One Thousand Kisses Deep went up a while ago.

I miss you, too ...

[jad.livejournal.com]

Sarah's coming to Seattle in October lady! OCTOBER! We should get in contact and take her out to dinner, me thinks, if she has time while she's here. AND CALL ME BACK DAMMIT.