Guilty Pleasures

[lettered]

Because it's almost 5am, and I still can't get to sleep.

stultiloqentia recently posted a drinking game for Spuffy smut fic. It's a list of words you're sure to have seen a time or two (except for, you know, gnomon). Of course, "cold dead seed" makes an appearance.

Also, a while back, kita0610 had an outing for the old schoolers who invented things like Buffy's vanilla scent. They're those things that get used again and again. And again.

And on stultiloqentia's list? I was surprised to realize I don't care how over-used it is, I still find the primal roar/whisper "Mine!" sexy. I also get turned on by Buffy's "tiny hands" (in Angel's broad ones), even though it's in every single fic on ff.net, the unsexiest place in the whole wide world.

I've managed to convince myself I'm not the only one.

So come on. What are those "I don't care how many times I see it, I still like it"s? Okay, it might be more of a "I don't care how many other people misuse it, I still like it if it's done right", but you have one, don't you? You like seeing Spike say "Da" or "Yes, Sire," or "Xanpet". You like Buffy's mossy green eyes and Angel's chocolate ones. You like it when _____'s mouth is like satin and ______'s spunk tastes like honey. You like it when Buffy finds out Angel married her without telling her when he put the Claddagh ring on her finger. You like seeing Angel spelled "Angle". What's your cliché-kink?

Comments

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

no-one's spunk tastes like honey....LOL

[tkp.livejournal.com]

no one's tongue really feels like satin, either, except maybe, you know, muppets. And I rather think muppets have fuzzy tongues. And according to one fic I read, their jizz tastes suspiciously like thread.

I think the cliches I was suggesting got stupider and more repulsive as I went along.

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

roflmao @ their jizz tastes suspiciously like thread.


Poor Miss Piggy.

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

It's no longer 5 am where you are...I can't imagine being awake the whole night and functioning the next day. *yawns*

I suppose I have cliche kinks...I'm sure I've used more than one (or one thousand) cliches in my day- although I *really* try hard to avoid them and think of new ways to say them.

"Mine" I like in certain situations. (I've used this one.)
I also like any physical description of Angel which makes mention of his size especially when it's contrasted against someone smaller. Thta's just one of the things I find attractive in a guy- though.

I wonder how much of our fic kinks have to do with our RL kinks. I don't like little guys. Knowing how small JM is takes a way some of his appeal for me- even though I love Spike and thought he was HOTTER than HELL on the show, JM does nothing for me.

DB on the other hand is prettier in RL than he is on TV and he's big.
Thus. Lust.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

She really knows what it's like to have a frog in her throat.

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

i just sprayed my monitor with coffee.


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you sick sick puppy you!! (which is one of the reasons I like you!!)

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

even though I love Spike and thought he was HOTTER than HELL on the show, JM does nothing for me.

You know, I was starting to think I was strange cos I think the same thing. I love Spike, I think he's so sexy - yet I coudln't give a toss for JM. I see him as JM (or someone else) and I think bleh. But i see him as Spike and i just quiver.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I kind of have insomnia. And it's been really bad this week.

I also like any physical description of Angel which makes mention of his size especially when it's contrasted against someone smaller.

Me too. Which is probably why I go for the "tiny hands" cliche when it comes to B/A.

I wonder how much of our fic kinks have to do with our RL kinks.

I personally find it interesting that they can be different. For instance, with the "mine" thing. I guess it could be sexy irl if a guy said that about me, but there would have to be a very specific understanding between us. In fic, I'm not so discriminating (although I'm not completely undiscriminating about it either).

even though I love Spike and thought he was HOTTER than HELL on the show, JM does nothing for me.

This is a good way of putting it. It makes me sad he's so small. He looked bigger on tv than I guess he really is and I think I was delusional. But still, it's easy for me to disassociate size from an actor, because you can never quite tell how big they are on tv. Irl, I'm attracted to bigger guys, but it's always actually been rather hard finding guys that are taller than me.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

What's sad is my dad told me that joke.

I hope you've read Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weenie Purple-Puppet Angel Penii. It's where I got the thread bit.

All my sickness is stolen ;o)

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

o

my

god

i have never read that before!!!! i'm laughing so hard my stomach aches!!!! thank you for brightening up my night!

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

Yep.
Spike was The SEX...JM is just a small man. He seems nice and everything, but I wouldn't wanna do him.

Angel/DB...*quivers* that's another story. *hee*

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

Insomnia...*hugs you* That's yucky.I need sleep!

I don't know how they made JM look so much bigger on the show...good camera work I guess. DB isn't 6'4" (which is how tall my husband is) but he's over 6 feet for sure...(I had boots on in the picture which is why he looks shorter than he is...plus I'm 5'8")

You're quite tall aren't you? I have this thing about big guys (not that I haven't dated shorter, smaller guys...)and Mike is physically built just the way I like them and I'm totally superficial.*hee*

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

I like big and kinda chunky - which is why Angel as a character is okay..but DB in RL........vavavoom!!!!!!!!!! It's weird - Spike yes, JM no. Angel no DB god yes!

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

It's sad, because I want to like the guilty pleasures, but I'm usually not that whimsical. So stuff like excessive cases of Spike calling people "pet" and Angel calling Buffy "baby" (when did he ever do that on the show?) grate. As does the people calling each other "love".

That said, I do like when stories make a point of how teeny-tiny so many of the Sunnydale people are. Angel being overconcerned in vaguely dorky ways (particularly the "you're too skinny" thing or "connor needs a haircut" thing) amuses me a lot.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

a2zmom says they stuck JM on a box a lot. She also said they put SMG on a box a lot and that's how come she didn't come up only to DB's belly button.

I'm 5'11". Which isn't *that* bad. I've just had bad luck in that all the guys I've been interested in personality-wise have been at least two inches shorter than me, usually even shorter. Which just isn't my thing, but--personality!

I'm going to marry Liam Neeson and have hulking huge kids.

Every time I hear you talk about your husband I get all warm and squishy inside. See, this is how Buffy would talk about Angel if they got to be you know, semi-normal. You reaffirm my beliefs in love and marriage ;o)

And it's just how me and Liam are going to be. Once I make him leave his kids and divorce his wife and marry someone less than half his age . . .

[tkp.livejournal.com]

because I want to like the guilty pleasures

Why? My guilty pleasures make me . . . guilty. They make me feel very unoriginal (which is why I don't use them in fic).

"Connor needs a haircut"

I'd love to see a fic in which Angel is preoccupied by Connor's hair. He's so finicky about his own hair; I'll bet Connor's hair drives him nuts.

Yep. It's all about the grooming!Daddy kinkfics now.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Because not having the sort of guilty pleasures that make one feel slightly childish... is like the sign that I'm turning into an old man. Some days, I revel in curmudgeonness because it is fun. Other days, it just makes me feel old.

And really, with Angel it's not even the daddykink, although there's lots of that. It's the Angel=Felix Unger to most other characters=Oscar Madison that I find very funny. Like the scene in S4 where the camera switches between Willow eating the PBJ and Buffy's eyes getting narrower with fury.

I like the idea of somebody doing something minorly off, and Angel secretly freaking out. Like somebody has a collar turned up or something, and Angel's just freaking out because your collar is supposed to be down, but he can't just fix it because people find vampires reaching near their necks to be creepy, and he can't even tell them because then they're going to wonder why he's even paying attention to their neck. And Angel is totally obsessing about this while the other person is completely oblivious.

Until, say for example, Cordy just flips the collar like it's no big deal and insults the person. You can fit Xander, or Doyle, or possibly even Wesley there, and set it in the SHS library or in LA and that kind of thing will just make me chuckle.

Because, brooding hunk of night thing he certainly is... he's also kind of dorky. And that contrast is funny. Except when it's just lamely done.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

And yes, daddy!kink is angsty and dark and full of well . . . angst and dark. Often way too little of Angel being a dork in those kinda fics.

because then they're going to wonder why he's even paying attention to their neck.

Bahaha! I love this. I can just seem him trying not to look, trying not to think about it. And he has enough stress already, poor guy.

Except when it's just lamely done.

Er, as in a couple eps in S3?

[lynnenne]

"Sire" can be really hot if Spike whispers it during sex. But then, I like hearing Spike whisper anything during sex. *g*

I think I've used "Da" in almost every Spike/Angel sex scene I've written. I know it's a cliche, but it just gets me hot. I once heard some fans complaining that Spike would never say "Da" because it's a regional dialect and he's from London... but the way I figure it, his whole accent is fake anyway, so it doesn't need to be authentic. Besides, you just *know* Angelus taught him to call him that.

[aloneinthetown.livejournal.com]

Heh, this might be a list of the cliches I DON'T like more than I do like but I'll have some in there that I like too!

I don't like the whole 'Angel-is-too-possessive' thing where he breaks some guy's arm because he even LOOKED at Buffy. And that does relate to my real life, because I don't like jealous guys. That's just taking it too far, overboard, out-of-hand, etc. However, I do like a little subtle jealousy, and if the writer is good (which is usually not the case in B/A) they can get it spot on.

I don't like when Angel is constantly using pet names for Buffy because on the show all he used was her name and that seemed like an endearment enough. However, I DO like when Buffy uses pet names for Angel just because I see it as more realistic and kind of sweet.

I'm kind of over the whole Angel-ties-Buffy-up-and-hurts-her thing. I mean in an S&M kind of way, not just pure beating. Maybe I'm too vanilla, but I only like that stuff in moderation. And whenever people choose to do S&M in a B/A fic, it always seems to be Angel tying up Buffy and hurting her. I like the idea of her tying HIM up and playing with him instead. I don't know why that is, it might have something to do with how her size belies her strength. But I don't like too much BDSM in general and can't stand it when he physically beats her or hurts her in a fic and shows no remorse/no tenderness, stuff like that

Also, rape fics? Just disgusting, and poorly handled, usually written by someone who can't write, etc.

I still do like the vampiric side of Spike or Angel. The growling, the biting, the way they're compared to animals. I don't know - it seems kind of sexy to me.

All that other stuff gets kind of old because it seems to be just kind of recycled over and over in B/A fic - soul mates, claddagh ring FOREVAH, the mark on her neck, she never loved Spike, she smells like vanilla, Cordy is and always will be an utter bitch, etc. etc.

Yeah that was pretty longwinded, so...I guess I'm done now!

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

My not-so-secret passion is for the whole "mate/mine" thing. Oh, and the biting. If Angel bites Buffy after growling "mate/mine" then I don't care if the fic is the most horrible piece of trite ever, I will probably love it. *g*

I make no apologies for loving that. And I know I'm not the only one who does. *looks at certain people on flist*

[semby.livejournal.com]

See, most of those things on that list are neither guilty pleasure nor annoying as hell for me, I'm just indifferent to them. I'm pretty sure I used to like a lot of them, but after seeing them so often, they just became old hat.

Okay, so maybe I like Angel's chocolate eyes.

From stultiloqentia's list, I think "noun, noun, and the scent that was uniquely proper noun" drives me the battiest, but the rest just kind of get a "meh" reaction. But I think some of those are probably exclusive to Spuffy, which I don't read and thus don't see much.

If anyone confesses to liking Angel spelled "Angle," I'll have to hurt them...

[lynnenne]

I like the idea of her tying HIM up and playing with him instead.

I think this is a much more realistic scenario, actually. Angel is a big ol' masochist... suffering is part of his redemption. He might occassionally let Spike tie him up and flog him, but even with the whip in Spike's hand, Angel is still the one in charge. Buffy is the only person Angel would willingly submit to, because he worships her. I doubt she would ever let him have that same power over her, no matter how much she loves him. She's too much of a control freak.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I remember the first A/S scene I read that I really liked (it also happened to be the first slash scene I really really liked). I was finding it pretty hot already, but then Spike whispered "Sire" and that was when I knew I'd never be the same again.

You using "Da" makes me a little wibbling puddle of goo. But when I see it elsewhere I usually kind just go eh? A very few authors can get away with it. You always can because well, you're you. You always write good talk-during-sex.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

(which is usually not the case in B/A)

This? Makes me sad. Sure, there are plenty of bad B/A writers, but I tend to focus on the good ones ;o)

Yep, Angel as the Uber Jealous Dude kinda peeves me. He wouldn't be that way, but it peeves me because Buffy wouldn't stand for that.

I'm kind of indifferent to the pet name stuff. I hate it when one is used every single word, but I kind of like one every once in a while.

BDSM has to be written in a particular way for me to find it at all interesting, and that's the non-cliche way. Same with rape fics. I don't find them very appealing, but I've read some ones that were quite well done and dealt with the subject matter in a way that didn't disgust me.

Dude, Claddagh rings are just cliche period. Someone once was talking about people being embarrassed to be B/A shippers. I totally am not. I am a complete unabashed proud die hard B/Aer. But the rings? Kind of embarrass me. I'm glad they're in the show; there's something cheesy and innocent about them that says a lot about the pre-"Innocence" B/A relationship, but I get kinda sick with fics that deal with them. Which I shouldn't say, since I have a fic idea I hope to do one day that does give them a prominent place.

Thank you for your thoughts.