Guilty Pleasures

[lettered]

Because it's almost 5am, and I still can't get to sleep.

stultiloqentia recently posted a drinking game for Spuffy smut fic. It's a list of words you're sure to have seen a time or two (except for, you know, gnomon). Of course, "cold dead seed" makes an appearance.

Also, a while back, kita0610 had an outing for the old schoolers who invented things like Buffy's vanilla scent. They're those things that get used again and again. And again.

And on stultiloqentia's list? I was surprised to realize I don't care how over-used it is, I still find the primal roar/whisper "Mine!" sexy. I also get turned on by Buffy's "tiny hands" (in Angel's broad ones), even though it's in every single fic on ff.net, the unsexiest place in the whole wide world.

I've managed to convince myself I'm not the only one.

So come on. What are those "I don't care how many times I see it, I still like it"s? Okay, it might be more of a "I don't care how many other people misuse it, I still like it if it's done right", but you have one, don't you? You like seeing Spike say "Da" or "Yes, Sire," or "Xanpet". You like Buffy's mossy green eyes and Angel's chocolate ones. You like it when _____'s mouth is like satin and ______'s spunk tastes like honey. You like it when Buffy finds out Angel married her without telling her when he put the Claddagh ring on her finger. You like seeing Angel spelled "Angle". What's your cliché-kink?

Comments

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

no-one's spunk tastes like honey....LOL

[tkp.livejournal.com]

no one's tongue really feels like satin, either, except maybe, you know, muppets. And I rather think muppets have fuzzy tongues. And according to one fic I read, their jizz tastes suspiciously like thread.

I think the cliches I was suggesting got stupider and more repulsive as I went along.

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

It's no longer 5 am where you are...I can't imagine being awake the whole night and functioning the next day. *yawns*

I suppose I have cliche kinks...I'm sure I've used more than one (or one thousand) cliches in my day- although I *really* try hard to avoid them and think of new ways to say them.

"Mine" I like in certain situations. (I've used this one.)
I also like any physical description of Angel which makes mention of his size especially when it's contrasted against someone smaller. Thta's just one of the things I find attractive in a guy- though.

I wonder how much of our fic kinks have to do with our RL kinks. I don't like little guys. Knowing how small JM is takes a way some of his appeal for me- even though I love Spike and thought he was HOTTER than HELL on the show, JM does nothing for me.

DB on the other hand is prettier in RL than he is on TV and he's big.
Thus. Lust.

[mzzgoddessblue.livejournal.com]

even though I love Spike and thought he was HOTTER than HELL on the show, JM does nothing for me.

You know, I was starting to think I was strange cos I think the same thing. I love Spike, I think he's so sexy - yet I coudln't give a toss for JM. I see him as JM (or someone else) and I think bleh. But i see him as Spike and i just quiver.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I kind of have insomnia. And it's been really bad this week.

I also like any physical description of Angel which makes mention of his size especially when it's contrasted against someone smaller.

Me too. Which is probably why I go for the "tiny hands" cliche when it comes to B/A.

I wonder how much of our fic kinks have to do with our RL kinks.

I personally find it interesting that they can be different. For instance, with the "mine" thing. I guess it could be sexy irl if a guy said that about me, but there would have to be a very specific understanding between us. In fic, I'm not so discriminating (although I'm not completely undiscriminating about it either).

even though I love Spike and thought he was HOTTER than HELL on the show, JM does nothing for me.

This is a good way of putting it. It makes me sad he's so small. He looked bigger on tv than I guess he really is and I think I was delusional. But still, it's easy for me to disassociate size from an actor, because you can never quite tell how big they are on tv. Irl, I'm attracted to bigger guys, but it's always actually been rather hard finding guys that are taller than me.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

It's sad, because I want to like the guilty pleasures, but I'm usually not that whimsical. So stuff like excessive cases of Spike calling people "pet" and Angel calling Buffy "baby" (when did he ever do that on the show?) grate. As does the people calling each other "love".

That said, I do like when stories make a point of how teeny-tiny so many of the Sunnydale people are. Angel being overconcerned in vaguely dorky ways (particularly the "you're too skinny" thing or "connor needs a haircut" thing) amuses me a lot.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

because I want to like the guilty pleasures

Why? My guilty pleasures make me . . . guilty. They make me feel very unoriginal (which is why I don't use them in fic).

"Connor needs a haircut"

I'd love to see a fic in which Angel is preoccupied by Connor's hair. He's so finicky about his own hair; I'll bet Connor's hair drives him nuts.

Yep. It's all about the grooming!Daddy kinkfics now.

[lynnenne]

"Sire" can be really hot if Spike whispers it during sex. But then, I like hearing Spike whisper anything during sex. *g*

I think I've used "Da" in almost every Spike/Angel sex scene I've written. I know it's a cliche, but it just gets me hot. I once heard some fans complaining that Spike would never say "Da" because it's a regional dialect and he's from London... but the way I figure it, his whole accent is fake anyway, so it doesn't need to be authentic. Besides, you just *know* Angelus taught him to call him that.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I remember the first A/S scene I read that I really liked (it also happened to be the first slash scene I really really liked). I was finding it pretty hot already, but then Spike whispered "Sire" and that was when I knew I'd never be the same again.

You using "Da" makes me a little wibbling puddle of goo. But when I see it elsewhere I usually kind just go eh? A very few authors can get away with it. You always can because well, you're you. You always write good talk-during-sex.

[aloneinthetown.livejournal.com]

Heh, this might be a list of the cliches I DON'T like more than I do like but I'll have some in there that I like too!

I don't like the whole 'Angel-is-too-possessive' thing where he breaks some guy's arm because he even LOOKED at Buffy. And that does relate to my real life, because I don't like jealous guys. That's just taking it too far, overboard, out-of-hand, etc. However, I do like a little subtle jealousy, and if the writer is good (which is usually not the case in B/A) they can get it spot on.

I don't like when Angel is constantly using pet names for Buffy because on the show all he used was her name and that seemed like an endearment enough. However, I DO like when Buffy uses pet names for Angel just because I see it as more realistic and kind of sweet.

I'm kind of over the whole Angel-ties-Buffy-up-and-hurts-her thing. I mean in an S&M kind of way, not just pure beating. Maybe I'm too vanilla, but I only like that stuff in moderation. And whenever people choose to do S&M in a B/A fic, it always seems to be Angel tying up Buffy and hurting her. I like the idea of her tying HIM up and playing with him instead. I don't know why that is, it might have something to do with how her size belies her strength. But I don't like too much BDSM in general and can't stand it when he physically beats her or hurts her in a fic and shows no remorse/no tenderness, stuff like that

Also, rape fics? Just disgusting, and poorly handled, usually written by someone who can't write, etc.

I still do like the vampiric side of Spike or Angel. The growling, the biting, the way they're compared to animals. I don't know - it seems kind of sexy to me.

All that other stuff gets kind of old because it seems to be just kind of recycled over and over in B/A fic - soul mates, claddagh ring FOREVAH, the mark on her neck, she never loved Spike, she smells like vanilla, Cordy is and always will be an utter bitch, etc. etc.

Yeah that was pretty longwinded, so...I guess I'm done now!

[lynnenne]

I like the idea of her tying HIM up and playing with him instead.

I think this is a much more realistic scenario, actually. Angel is a big ol' masochist... suffering is part of his redemption. He might occassionally let Spike tie him up and flog him, but even with the whip in Spike's hand, Angel is still the one in charge. Buffy is the only person Angel would willingly submit to, because he worships her. I doubt she would ever let him have that same power over her, no matter how much she loves him. She's too much of a control freak.

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

My not-so-secret passion is for the whole "mate/mine" thing. Oh, and the biting. If Angel bites Buffy after growling "mate/mine" then I don't care if the fic is the most horrible piece of trite ever, I will probably love it. *g*

I make no apologies for loving that. And I know I'm not the only one who does. *looks at certain people on flist*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I love you.

The first time I read the whole "mate" thing it really, really turned me on. Then I started seeing it everywhere and I just got tired of it, but yeah, it's people like us that keep this stuff going. We like certain things and we are unashamed.

We should be proud. We should flaunt our over-used kinks so people use them more! I do try to stay away from using concepts I think are unoriginal, but there's such a stigma attached to using certain things in fic, I don't want to not use something just because I think so-and-so will not like it because it's over-used. Ya know?

[semby.livejournal.com]

See, most of those things on that list are neither guilty pleasure nor annoying as hell for me, I'm just indifferent to them. I'm pretty sure I used to like a lot of them, but after seeing them so often, they just became old hat.

Okay, so maybe I like Angel's chocolate eyes.

From stultiloqentia's list, I think "noun, noun, and the scent that was uniquely proper noun" drives me the battiest, but the rest just kind of get a "meh" reaction. But I think some of those are probably exclusive to Spuffy, which I don't read and thus don't see much.

If anyone confesses to liking Angel spelled "Angle," I'll have to hurt them...

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I should have thought of more examples. I mean, examples that aren't completely ridiculous, like Angle. I tend to think of the over-used words, phrases, and ideas with scorn, so it was difficult for me to think of something people might like. But I don't want to view them with scorn! I don't want to be guilty about the things I like!

I wish I could think of more constructions like "noun, noun, and the scent that was uniquely proper noun", because I think that there are quite a few things like that that just get used over and over again. I want to say using the word "orbs" for "eyes", or gem stones (particularly sapphire and emerald) to describe eyes, and "globes" when talking about ass or breasts are along the same lines, but I love how "noun, noun . . ." is the way of putting the words. There've got to be other cliche word orders like that; I just couldn't think of them.

[terilyn4.livejournal.com]

I have to admit that I love the Angel growling and purring during sex. Reading that makes me tingle :D I also love the fics where Buffy makes Angel whimper and quiver, that's just so sexy thinking of that big, sexy body whimpering from Buffy sucking on his cock or nibbling on his hip bones. Also love reading Angel's chest and skin being described as smooth, marble statue like.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I like purring.

But purring is so canon. Okay, it's canon for Spike. In S7, he purrs. I had to rewind it 3 times and turn it all the way up, but dammit, it was a purr!

And yeah, the marble thing is so cliche, but I love it too. I think even "chest like statues she had seen in Rome" has even made it to the cliche table, since she's all Rome-living. I actually think I used a variation on that phrase in Best Souvenir. I couldn't help myself.

[canadiangirl-86.livejournal.com]

I'm still not sick of Angel growling "Mine", though I'd love to see more of Buffy whispering the same, cuz her possessive is just totally hot. *G*

Stuff I hate - Angel endearments ("baby" especially pisses me off if it's not Angelus talking in a sick perverted way). I could probably get behind him saying "love" or "sweetheart", but in moderation.

I despise when Angel uses the word "mate". I just hate it. Thinking it is okay, but saying it? Nuh uh.

Ugh! Claddagh ring cliche! Ewwwww. I think the rings are sacred and should be left where the show left them, because they were perfect. But when someone uses them excessively in fics it seems more like they're not all that imaginative. I suppose there's always a small chance that they'd be used skillfully in a fic, but I don't see that happening often.

Yay this is fun! *G*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

There needs to be more strong!possessive!fierce!Buffy fic period. Especially in B/A.

I actually quite liked Angel using "baby" at first, even though it seemed entirely out of character for him to use it and for Buffy to like it to me. But I've seen it way too often to really enjoy it now.

I think the rings are cheesy, not sacred, but I totally agree with it being unimaginative. I have jewelry issues, partly. I think jewelry is pretty, but I see all this fluff stuff (both in published fiction and in all corners of fandom) in which jewelry is given and recieved, and it's some big romantic thing, but it always strikes me as boring. But I do love the idea of the Claddagh rings, precisely because it is a big cheesy thing that seems so . . . normal and girlish and sweet and romantic. Angel thought he could have a relationship like that with her. He thought he could buy her jewelry and give her flowers and have candlelight dinners.

Instead he tortures her friends and she sends him to hell.

God, I love B/A.

[mshepnj.livejournal.com]

Um, yeah.

For me it's definitely "I don't care how many other people misuse it, I still like it if it's done right". I can sorta, kinda, maybe admit to maybe liking some of these cliches. On occasion. Depending on who writes them.

Growly "Mine!" Yes.
"Mate". Yes.
B/A = soulmates. Yes.
The secret exchange of Clauddagh wedding rings? Sometimes, yes.
Mossy green and chocolate eyes? Sure. Why not?
Vanilla Buffy? Yep. I happen to like the scent of vanilla, and I can believe she would too.
And pregnant Buffy - with Angel's child. Seems totally improbable, but theoretically, so does Connor in canon. So why not if done right.

Honey flavored spunk... ew.
Angle instead of Angel? Drives me to distraction. Not in a good way.

Clamping pussy muscles around rampant cock... eh, can work but really depends on how it's written. I can't write good smut, so I especially appreciate it when others do.

Other cliche kinks that I dig sometimes:
Angel's sketchbook. I like stories that feature Angel/us's drawings.
Buffy being "marked" by Angel.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Honey flavored spunk... ew.

Only if you don't like honey!

Clamping pussy muscles around rampant cock...

I hate the word "rampant" to describe cock. Rampant means "extending without stopping" or "occuring frequently without restraint." Cock might grow when man is aroused. But it will not continue to grow. That word is for the growth of weeds. You could even use it for thrusts--"her hips moved to meet his rampant [occuring frequently] thrusts", but not for cock itself.

Sorry, this has always drived me bonkers.

Angel's sketchbook. I like stories that feature Angel/us's drawings.

Me too! Now, this is a really guilty admission, but I wanted to write a fic featuring the sketchbook . . . and I actually started doing drawings for it. One day, I shall have to post my shame ;o)

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

Growly "Mine!" Yes.
"Mate". Yes.

HA! I *knew* there were more of us out here...

[mshepnj.livejournal.com]

But of course! I'm sure there are legions of Growly-Mine! and mate lovers, but we're just...well, women enough to admit it.

[stultiloquentia.livejournal.com]

Um. Purring.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Does it for me too.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

My secret kinks amd cliches by a2z.

Angel talking Gaelic during sex.

Rough sex, if well written.

While I hate fics where Angel tells Buffy they're actually married because of the rings (because a) they're not and b) Angel is not stupid enough to think that), I love a fic where it turns out he's been wearing his ring on a chain around his neck. I'm very sentimental.

I like the height difference deal if done subtly.

[marenfic.livejournal.com]

Rough sex, if well written.

I'll second that, and add that I love it most when it's against a dirty alley wall. Yep.

I actually second all of your kinks. The only thing I would have to add is that I have a bite kink, if it's used judiciously and with the appropriate amount of guilt/reluctance as would be in character with both of them.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

I just wrote the opposite post essentially and now I feel like I've squished a kitten.

If you throw in a eeny bit of the odd slither of purring and maybe a dash of the height cliche (because DM and tall = yum!) though as long as Angel doesn't end up resembling the Jolly Green Giant and Spike is turned into a fey hobbit, these are pretty much my guilty pleasures. That and making fictional vampires have sex with each other; that alone is pretty much the biggie of my guilty pleasures.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

making fictional vampires have sex with each other

Can an ongoing basic plot point be considered a guilty pleasure?

[prophecygirrl.livejournal.com]

I'm totally with you on the "Mine/Yours". Especially when Spike fights it powerfully for a long time, or is overcome by the need to do it. Subcategory? When Buffy does it first.


Other guilty pleasures??

-- Spike calls Buffy "My Goddess, My Queen, Kitten, Princess, Sunshine" and even "my killer" if it's in the throes of passion.

-- Buffy's huge emerald eyes

-- Buffy comes when Spike bites her, and vice versa. Overused, yes, but in the "when used well" category, for me.

-- Spike's predeliction for giving oral pleasure. But when Buffy tastes like Buffy, and not like baked apples, honey, pecan pie, or what have you.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

-- Spike calls Buffy "My Goddess, My Queen, Kitten, Princess, Sunshine" and even "my killer" if it's in the throes of passion.

I hadn't heard most of those!

I love it when Buffy bites. My kink is liking it so much more than when the fangy ones do it.

And Buffy does so taste like pecan pie!

Thanks for these, totally enlightening!

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

Spike dressing Xander in anything other than, you know, Xandery orange. Buffy and Angel eating in bed. Faith teasing Willow about secretly having a crush on her, which, of course, Willow does. Spike mocking Angel's hair/clothing/accent/job/past/present/future and then kissing him. Um...I know there have got to be cliches I love...wtf are they? Spike/Xander fic with a subplot with Buffy and Angel have managed to live happily ever after and have Shanshu'd or mystical babies. *has no shame*

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Faith teasing Willow about secretly having a crush on her, which, of course, Willow does.

Of course she does. What saddens me is that I hadn't realized it before this very moment.

*has no shame*

Which is the point, really. I love me my mystical babies.

[rahirah]

Purring. I loves me some purring vampires, as long as it's not twee, cute purring.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Then Spike wraps his awww, kitten!tail around Xander's aww, preciously adorable dick and--

Oh. Not the twee, cute purring. Gotcha.

[korilian.livejournal.com]

My cliche kink is the one where Xander instantly gets sexed up by all his fans, regardless of the fact that he looked kinda sickly and gained some lovehandles by the end of the show. He's not heavy build. He's very well muscled (and of course endowed).

[tkp.livejournal.com]

You have a famous cliche kink! You know everyone wanted A Hard Day's Night to end with those fans actually catching up to the Beatles and having kinky sex with them. But not kinky monkey sex. That was reserved for the Monkees.

Yeah, so Xander? Has legions of fans who do him. Because love handles are love, baby.

[gloss]

here via su_herald

Kinkcliches can be so much fun. I'm with germaine_pet on 'Da' in A/S when I read it. and toppy!Buffy in B/A (or B/anyone, really...). Also biting. Especially when it's from Oz's POV and he can't bite but he really wants to and... Yeah, like that.

Other ones that overspill particular ships: Tiny hands, contrast in height, palepale skin, Gunn's bald head, Angel's big shoulders, Buffy and Darla's hair color. And sitting in laps. I love laps.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

And if only toppy!Buffy in B/A was done enough to be a cliche! There seem to be way to many dom!Angel fics in B/A.

palepale skin

But only when it's marble white chest and hard, like a statue in Rome. Just once I want a chest that's paper white and hard like an formica countertop.

Buffy and Darla's hair color

I like that too. Especially when Angel notices it all over again when one or the other (or both of them) are . . . well, when they're in a position for him to really get a good view of their hair color.

[zibbycomix.livejournal.com]

I think the thing that's most cliche about Harry/Draco is how they meet and fall in love. This usually happens either when they are in potions class, playing Quiddtich, or when they are grown up and are both aurors or professors. So, how they are set up has become cliche. But I still like reading about it. =)