I am excessively diverted.

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1. If you haven't already read it, read It's Only Time. a2zmom+pr0n=OTP!

2. Then read Wish Your Heart Makes. It's a short fic about what happens to Angel during "Nightmares." It's one of violaclaire's first fanfics, I think, so go encourage. Now.

3. If you haven't already laughed your ass off at them (or spent way longer than you should have at f_w getting off on reading other people's cruelty and stupidity) go make yourself smile by reading fanfiction summaries stoney321 has compiled here. Then feast on the icons.

Speaking of icons, I am the Ralph Wiggins of icon-making. Miss Hoover, I ate my PornoEditor! I want an icon of Celes from Final Fantasy III, because I wanted to be her when I was 11 and dude, she's a hot chick holding a sword, but it's not in the cards, apparently.

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Speaking of things that happened days ago (I was), the 26th of November was the day of the Netherfield Ball. The new Pride and Prejudice with Kiera Knightley was very beautiful, very self-conscious about not upsetting Jane Austen fans by leaving out characters, and so very rushed and a little hard to follow if you don't know the story.

If you do know the story, but haven't seen it, go rent the A&E adaptation, the one with Colin Firth in it. It gets all the good stuff right--but please note, Colin Firth, as handsome as he is and as good as he is in the role (and all it's incarnations), does not make me want to change my knickers the way Matthew MacFadyen did. Who cares that he never got a chance to be significantly ungentlemanly? He's seriously hot. Then again, "Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, I am an unbelievable sap," proves some hot guys should be seen and not heard.

And now, a word from my step-grandfather, Fred.

Me: We're going to see Pride and Prejudice. You probably wouldn't like it, it's girly.
Fred: If there are girls, I want to go.
Me: Alright, but I'm warning you.
Fred: I need a warning? Is it anything like Debbie Does . . . Debbie And The Football Team . . .Debbie . . . what's that show?
Me: It's a British period movie.
Fred: Are their subtitles?
Me: They speak English in Britain.
Fred: No, they speak British in Britain.
Me: But England is in Britain and in England they speak English.
Fred: What kind of movie is this again?
Me: A romance.
Fred: You should've told me that first. Bye.

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And lastly, thoughts from my kitchen to yours, Anamainiacs style.

Good idea: Convincing the family to eat turducken this year.
Bad idea: Convincing the family to eat tofurkey this year.

Good idea: Making margaritas with rum, since we ran out of tequila. Preserving extra margaritas in the freezer.
Bad idea: Mistaking the rum-margarita for chicken broth, since both are brown. Deglazing a pan full of chicken, shallots, and scallions with margarita. Eating margarita-gravy.

Good idea: Torching the top of your creme brulee with a blow torch.
Bad idea: Torching the top of your fingers with a blow torch.

Good idea: Shaking the salad dressing before you open it.
Bad idea: Shaking the salad dressing after you open it. (Trying to get Ranch off of the ceiling is a bad idea as well.)

Good idea: Making brownies.
Bad idea: Making brownies without flour, mistaking salt for sugar, and using 2.5 year old Crisco for butter.

These thoughts are all based on true events. I was going to share a recipe, but after this I'm afraid no one will trust me.

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So ends the 2am ramble.