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70 Questions for Lindsey McDonald
Because:
1) there are a billion other things I have to do right now.
2) Lindsey is one of my favorite characters, but I have few fic ideas for him. I want to work on his voice. Also, I should write more first person because I hate it like marmite on cockroaches.
3) I think![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nemo_gravis is awesome for keeping this organized, and mara_sho for making a web site. Thanks!
4) I fully expect my new music gurua2zmom to tell me music Lindsey would like. But not KANE because that's kinda lame.
To: chicklitz@yoyodyne.com
From: macdonald@weyland_yutani.com
Subject: Re: Psych Evaluation
1. DO YOU SNORE?
There are a lot who’d like to be in a position to find out.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I’m a lawyer.
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Check room 101 at Wolfram and Hart. Orwell didn’t just make that shit up.
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Before or after the IRS took our house away? Before or after my sister died because we couldn’t pay for her prescription? Oh yeah. It was all legos and game boys and Barbie dreamhouses with us.
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I have better things to think about.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Sure. My mom was drinking like a fish through all six pregnancies and dad was smoking like a chimney. Premature and malnourished and cute as a button, Ma used to say. Any more questions about my childhood? I have enough cliches about being poor as dirt to fill your goddam hard drive, so yeah, let’s.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
For now.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Yeah. But often enough there’s someone in there with me, and then I have other things to do with my mouth.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Never got the chance.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
If you want to fuck around inside my head and find out, come try it.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Home. In an alternate dimension, where my sister is alive. It was one of Wolfram and Hart’s carrots.
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
He’s not supposed to be. Lilah says the entertainment division keeps him on the air for other reasons. And how the fuck she got that intel before me I’ve yet to figure out.
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
Yeah. Are the transdimensional analysts are still using it for educational screenings?
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Its destruction wasn’t my department. So no.
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
Depends on the toots I’m licking, how long we’ve been rolling around, and whether she’s been popped. Try having your goons psychicking that answer, huh?
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can sing anything.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
No. Drove the truck over to L.A., and Holland shunted me straight into the courtroom, which means I missed out on all the footwork—grunt stuff: flying to Timbuktu and back. Which drove Lilah fucking nuts; I got in three weeks what she got in three years. Of course, never did get those paid vacations and private jet flights home they promised me, either.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
I don’t know any more. Wolfram and Hart had something to do with my brother, I’m pretty sure of that now. I got the family moved, told them not to tell me where they were going. And now? Not even sure I care any more.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I have this evil hand. It prefers knives.
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
Some people still do it to eat. And some people still do it to get rid of star witnesses for the prosecution. Hey, gotta do what you gotta do. And if we’re talking guns, I’m told Charlton Heston was always a very generous client. Very personable.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I’ll think about that when Angel is in an urn on my mantle.
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Did I mention the hand? I just don’t understand why the DIE DIE DIE, KILL KILL KILL doesn’t slant further to the right. If they were going to give me an evil hand, they could’ve given me nice penmanship. Or even, I don’t know, a mime hand. Now mimes, they’re pathologically insane. Instead, I get just plain old evil. I might . . . I don’t know, type a crazy number of exclamation points and spontaneously press caps lock. Or force feed myself a Payday because I’m allergic to peanuts. Or murder a baby while it’s mother is singing to it. But jazz hands, no. It’s like they didn’t appreciate me at all.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Didn’t my evil hand just cover that?
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
Gal named Eve. She just eats it up.
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
If I read the file right, Elvis was never technically alive to begin with.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
With bacon.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
The most Machiavellian woman I ever knew was blonde. She could wrap a man around her baby finger twice without him even knowing it. Not that it takes much to wind up Mister Symbol of Right, but no, not stupid. She also gave head better than any pro I’ve ever had. Thought you knew everything about us, did you?
And Eve—she blonde? Well. Eve’s a piece of work, isn’t she. Bet she could tie him in knots, too. Blondes are his thing; it’s in his file. And dumb. That should be in his file, too.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
That wasn’t my department, either.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
N/A. I’m not reworking this if some bureaucratic asshole decides to sit on it for a day, just so he can send it back for reentry because the time and date are wrong. Little trick Lee liked to pull, back when he was above me. And alive. And getting blow-jobs from Gavin the yes-man in the mailroom.
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
Thinking of going by Doyle. Because Angel likes it up the ass.
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Big Mac and fries used to be like a feast for us. So yeah, tastes like shit on a stick, but the Senior Partners seem to think the franchise requisite to preventing world peace.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
A year or so ago. Company limo with highly paid hookers. My truck isn’t a car.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Depends on who I’m with and what she wants.
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
He’s on the Senior Partners Ten Most Wanted. After the Slayer but before the Dali Lama.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Biting is better.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
See above. Never was afraid of anything much.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Power and those little sour candies that come two in a pack.
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Neither.
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Sure. Bet I can also break my neck. One-handed. Guess which hand.
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Yes.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Wolfram and Hart was a strictly clean office. The did urine tests. Seemed off, considering, but it’s somehow connected with the Senior Partners being against the push to legalize marijuana. Could never figure how that fit in with their stance against world peace. They’re also officially opposed to Calvin and Hobbes, free internet porn, and Canada. It all makes more sense when I’m high.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
No.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue, green, something in between. My mom used to sing me that. Aquamarine. She didn’t really know. Or give a fuck.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
I bought the urn. For Angel. I’ll like my life then.
51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
I’ve got all kinds of good ones, now.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Smarter than a bag of hammers, aren’t you.
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
I read all the classics. Made straight A’s. All that David Copperfield kind of crap. If you really want to know about it, I liked Salinger. I could get where he was coming from. I also liked Moby Dick. I could relate to characters in that book, too.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Guitar. When my hand isn’t plastic or trying to kill me.
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Don’t you know that Wolfram and Hart raises funds through charity balls, community fundraisers, and selling cookies? Actually, last I heard, Senior Partners were entering negotiations with high ups in Girl Scouts, so that might not’ve been completely sarcastic.
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
No. I’ve only seen snow a couple times. Once was that Christmas in L.A. That was different. Lilah was different that night, too.
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Sometimes. My Dad used to take us out, one at a time. We didn’t have a tent or anything like that, but we’d sit and look up at the stars, and it was . . . He used to say there were angels up there. What a load of fucking bull.
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No.
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Actually, last time I went to the labs, one of the techs tried to convince me that magic is just another way of explaining physics on a sub-atomic level with—I don’t know. My hand started twitching and then he shut up and gave me what I wanted.
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
Yes.
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
No.
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
No. Turns out Michael Jackson can’t, either. He has evil legs. And he’s getting an evil face piece by piece.
63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
Not many. Biggest mistake I seem to’ve made is being born to attract people who fuck things up for me.
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Freezing at forty-eight degrees.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Lemon pie.
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
It was a phase. Hands don’t need black nail polish to do evil things. Found that out in college, when both were still mine.
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
I do the kissing.
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
John Stamos. I miss the mullet.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Not really.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
I’ve got a better sound than anyone out there.
ETA: I'm an idiot who can't even spell the name of the character. Don't mind me. *whistles*
1) there are a billion other things I have to do right now.
2) Lindsey is one of my favorite characters, but I have few fic ideas for him. I want to work on his voice. Also, I should write more first person because I hate it like marmite on cockroaches.
3) I think
nemo_gravis is awesome for keeping this organized, and mara_sho for making a web site. Thanks!4) I fully expect my new music guru
a2zmom to tell me music Lindsey would like. But not KANE because that's kinda lame.To: chicklitz@yoyodyne.com
From: macdonald@weyland_yutani.com
Subject: Re: Psych Evaluation
1. DO YOU SNORE?
There are a lot who’d like to be in a position to find out.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I’m a lawyer.
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Check room 101 at Wolfram and Hart. Orwell didn’t just make that shit up.
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Before or after the IRS took our house away? Before or after my sister died because we couldn’t pay for her prescription? Oh yeah. It was all legos and game boys and Barbie dreamhouses with us.
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I have better things to think about.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Sure. My mom was drinking like a fish through all six pregnancies and dad was smoking like a chimney. Premature and malnourished and cute as a button, Ma used to say. Any more questions about my childhood? I have enough cliches about being poor as dirt to fill your goddam hard drive, so yeah, let’s.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
For now.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Yeah. But often enough there’s someone in there with me, and then I have other things to do with my mouth.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Never got the chance.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
If you want to fuck around inside my head and find out, come try it.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Home. In an alternate dimension, where my sister is alive. It was one of Wolfram and Hart’s carrots.
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
He’s not supposed to be. Lilah says the entertainment division keeps him on the air for other reasons. And how the fuck she got that intel before me I’ve yet to figure out.
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
Yeah. Are the transdimensional analysts are still using it for educational screenings?
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Its destruction wasn’t my department. So no.
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
Depends on the toots I’m licking, how long we’ve been rolling around, and whether she’s been popped. Try having your goons psychicking that answer, huh?
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can sing anything.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
No. Drove the truck over to L.A., and Holland shunted me straight into the courtroom, which means I missed out on all the footwork—grunt stuff: flying to Timbuktu and back. Which drove Lilah fucking nuts; I got in three weeks what she got in three years. Of course, never did get those paid vacations and private jet flights home they promised me, either.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
I don’t know any more. Wolfram and Hart had something to do with my brother, I’m pretty sure of that now. I got the family moved, told them not to tell me where they were going. And now? Not even sure I care any more.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I have this evil hand. It prefers knives.
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
Some people still do it to eat. And some people still do it to get rid of star witnesses for the prosecution. Hey, gotta do what you gotta do. And if we’re talking guns, I’m told Charlton Heston was always a very generous client. Very personable.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I’ll think about that when Angel is in an urn on my mantle.
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Did I mention the hand? I just don’t understand why the DIE DIE DIE, KILL KILL KILL doesn’t slant further to the right. If they were going to give me an evil hand, they could’ve given me nice penmanship. Or even, I don’t know, a mime hand. Now mimes, they’re pathologically insane. Instead, I get just plain old evil. I might . . . I don’t know, type a crazy number of exclamation points and spontaneously press caps lock. Or force feed myself a Payday because I’m allergic to peanuts. Or murder a baby while it’s mother is singing to it. But jazz hands, no. It’s like they didn’t appreciate me at all.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Didn’t my evil hand just cover that?
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
Gal named Eve. She just eats it up.
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
If I read the file right, Elvis was never technically alive to begin with.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
With bacon.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
The most Machiavellian woman I ever knew was blonde. She could wrap a man around her baby finger twice without him even knowing it. Not that it takes much to wind up Mister Symbol of Right, but no, not stupid. She also gave head better than any pro I’ve ever had. Thought you knew everything about us, did you?
And Eve—she blonde? Well. Eve’s a piece of work, isn’t she. Bet she could tie him in knots, too. Blondes are his thing; it’s in his file. And dumb. That should be in his file, too.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
That wasn’t my department, either.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
N/A. I’m not reworking this if some bureaucratic asshole decides to sit on it for a day, just so he can send it back for reentry because the time and date are wrong. Little trick Lee liked to pull, back when he was above me. And alive. And getting blow-jobs from Gavin the yes-man in the mailroom.
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
Thinking of going by Doyle. Because Angel likes it up the ass.
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Big Mac and fries used to be like a feast for us. So yeah, tastes like shit on a stick, but the Senior Partners seem to think the franchise requisite to preventing world peace.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
A year or so ago. Company limo with highly paid hookers. My truck isn’t a car.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Depends on who I’m with and what she wants.
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
He’s on the Senior Partners Ten Most Wanted. After the Slayer but before the Dali Lama.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Biting is better.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
See above. Never was afraid of anything much.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Power and those little sour candies that come two in a pack.
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Neither.
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Sure. Bet I can also break my neck. One-handed. Guess which hand.
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Yes.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Wolfram and Hart was a strictly clean office. The did urine tests. Seemed off, considering, but it’s somehow connected with the Senior Partners being against the push to legalize marijuana. Could never figure how that fit in with their stance against world peace. They’re also officially opposed to Calvin and Hobbes, free internet porn, and Canada. It all makes more sense when I’m high.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
No.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue, green, something in between. My mom used to sing me that. Aquamarine. She didn’t really know. Or give a fuck.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
I bought the urn. For Angel. I’ll like my life then.
51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
I’ve got all kinds of good ones, now.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Smarter than a bag of hammers, aren’t you.
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
I read all the classics. Made straight A’s. All that David Copperfield kind of crap. If you really want to know about it, I liked Salinger. I could get where he was coming from. I also liked Moby Dick. I could relate to characters in that book, too.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Guitar. When my hand isn’t plastic or trying to kill me.
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Don’t you know that Wolfram and Hart raises funds through charity balls, community fundraisers, and selling cookies? Actually, last I heard, Senior Partners were entering negotiations with high ups in Girl Scouts, so that might not’ve been completely sarcastic.
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
No. I’ve only seen snow a couple times. Once was that Christmas in L.A. That was different. Lilah was different that night, too.
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Sometimes. My Dad used to take us out, one at a time. We didn’t have a tent or anything like that, but we’d sit and look up at the stars, and it was . . . He used to say there were angels up there. What a load of fucking bull.
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No.
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Actually, last time I went to the labs, one of the techs tried to convince me that magic is just another way of explaining physics on a sub-atomic level with—I don’t know. My hand started twitching and then he shut up and gave me what I wanted.
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
Yes.
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
No.
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
No. Turns out Michael Jackson can’t, either. He has evil legs. And he’s getting an evil face piece by piece.
63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
Not many. Biggest mistake I seem to’ve made is being born to attract people who fuck things up for me.
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Freezing at forty-eight degrees.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Lemon pie.
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
It was a phase. Hands don’t need black nail polish to do evil things. Found that out in college, when both were still mine.
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
I do the kissing.
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
John Stamos. I miss the mullet.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Not really.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
I’ve got a better sound than anyone out there.
ETA: I'm an idiot who can't even spell the name of the character. Don't mind me. *whistles*
no subject
It's alright; I like you too! I'm a mushy person (though I know what you mean. Online and with strangers I tend not to be so mushy ;o)
Besides teh fact you write the most wicked fic, even your journal posts are interesting, and make me think.
Why, thank you. I try to be interesting when I post. Irl I have a tendency to ramble and can be pretty boring ;o)
Was lindsey's family ever mentioned on angel
In AtS S1, "Blind Date." That's the ep when Lindsey claims he wants to work with Angel against W&H. Lindsey says to Angel, "I'm talking dirt poor, no shoes, no toilet. Six of us kids in a room, and come flu season it was down to four. I was seven when they took the house. They just came right in and took it..."
Another time Holland says something about Lindsey being poor and having had to work harder than everyone else. So, we know some things about Lindsey's past, but have to fill in the rest.
I always find the families of the 'bad' guys interesting.
Me too, but especially with Lindsey and Faith. I think extreme poverty was a factor in both of their lives, and I think they both have secret leanings towards a desire for redemption (though I think Lindsey's desire for that is a lot less about redemption and a lot more about his arrogance).
Like with Lilah for instance.
Always wondered about her too. I don't think she ever talks about her family or childhood on the show. My take on her is that she was a rich suburbs only child with pushy parents--pushy to the point of barely breathing. Her success made her hated by her peers, but nothing was ever good enough for her parents. She thought that if she could just be successful enough, her parents would have to approve and her peers would have to like and admire her, and that made her manipulative. Her mother was a sparkly socialite who slept with their socialite male friends because Lilah's father was often out at night sleeping around with the socialite female friends. And then one night Lilah learned she could use her body to manipulate people as well.
Poor Lilah.
Would he be like the big brother to his siblings? (when they were alive) Does he have any living siblings, and does he help his family out with money? Or has he cut off all ties, whether from fear of W&H finding them, or just because.
My take on it is that he wasn't the oldest. I prefer to think he was really close to a sibling who died (turns out there were two; I didn't read the dialogue close enough) and that after that he felt estranged from the rest of his siblings. The rest of his childhood was about him trying to prove that he was better than they were.
Imo, he used to send money back home, but stopped because they didn't use the money the way he wanted them to, because he didn't think they appreciated it enough, because all his peers had snazzy suits and went to fancy restaurants, and because he didn't want anyone thinking he was a mama's boy or had any weaknesses (which in his mind, is protecting his family. If they don't think he has a weakness for his family, they won't hurt his family to get to him.)
Wow, this is way too much fun. Thanks for making me think about the characters like this.
it could be tough depending on which character is doing them
Definitely! But yeah, the surveys are fun. Have you been reading them? The one for Illyria did a pretty good job on the "why would she subject herself to this?" thing, I thought.
Perhaps writing these questions into a series of fics about Lindsey
I'd definitely love to do some fics about Lindsey--something like "The Confessional," which would let me explore Lindsey's background while at the same time exploring something that took place in canon. But it's strange, as much as I really love his character I've had very few ideas about fics for him.
that way we get to read more of your writing
hey, thanks again!