Intellectual inquiry

[lettered]

What is a Master vampire? Is it like, an internship? 20 years with Angelus you get a degree in vampirism? Is this anything at all like how stoney321 is a Master Gardener? Or is all of this just a corruption of "Marsters"? Come on now, 'fess up.

How many exclamation points do you need? Just curious.

How many times does Xander cry in canon? Can we count? Because whatever the number, I just don't think the ratio equates to once a paragraph and three times in the penultimate paragraph of the page. I really don't.

Can't some erections be, I don't know, kitchen faucet hard, or maybe advanced calculus hard? Why do they all gotta be rock?

Why is NIN always in fic? Always? You do not want to fuck me like an animal. You do not want to feel me from the inside. I do not bring you closer to god. TRUST ME ON THIS.

What's a vampire court? A necro-tinted box for playing tennis? Or maybe it's judicial, and you have to burn your hand on the Bible and solemnly swear you're up to no good? No really, are there like, powdered wigs and stuff?

How often does anyone actually "have long conversations about everything and nothing"?

Does everyone celebrate one month anniversaries? Is this some really universal thing I missed out on? Where a month went by and we hid the new diamonds and entertainment systems we got each other and surprised each other with them, then one of us had to be disappointed because the reservations we made at the fanciest restaurant in town were vetoed by the other who had rented us the night on the yacht, and there was lobster and formal wear and slow dancing, and the food was never bad and the clothes were always perfect and the slow dancing was probably to NIN, and then there was lots and lots of gentle I love you sex? Did I miss out on that?

Does Spike scream? Is it sexist or something to think screaming is kinda . . . girly? Do screeching men in fic turn anyone else off? Anyone? Can we count the number of times Spike screams in canon, too?

Are there ever weak orgasms in fanfic? Ever?

If men get to turn into women, how come women don't ever turn into men? And if men get pregnant, how come they don't have to have periods? And go through menapause? And can someone show me a fic where a women gets a prostate? Please?

Which one gets compared to Greek gods/statues more: Angel or Spike?

Does Angel giggle? Can we count the number of times Angel giggles in canon? Just for the sake of balance, here.

Is cock really an appendage? *wants to know*

Do people really think the penis is a muscle? *doesn't want to know, so much*

How often do people keen? I mean, all people. Can we count the number of times real people in the world have keened? Will it still be less than the number of times Spike keens over Angel and Xander keens over Spike? The comparison would really just be for the sake of intellectual curiosity.

When did Giles turn into the Big Bad trying to keep Spike and Angel apart?

And just how often do people cut their palms with their nails? Is this really something so common that it needs to happen at least once a fic? And if the whole world's gone emo, can't we all just slit our wrists instead of these halfmoon impressions on our palms drawing single ruby drops? Or what?

Velvet? Over? Steel?

Comments

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

Every time you post these questions, I get the sense that you read a lot of bad fic. And then there is really only one question, and that question is -- WHY?

[tkp.livejournal.com]

1. Because I'm perverse.
2. Because I like porn and there's not enough good porn.
3. Because I like really really long fics and very few good authors write of the long.
4. Morbid fascination?
5. Did I mention: perverse.

[lynnenne]

FOD! *glomptacklesquish*

/hijack of tkp's LJ

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

You mocked my fic.

That's it. I'm putting my pen away. 4 eva.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I mocked my own too, actually. Pretty sure I've used the velvet over steel bit. God, I'm so fucking tired of that one.

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

1) Right on first, it's an internship program.

2) Less is more.

3) Once is implied but not seen.

4) Because everything can be Sued in fanfiction, including cocks!

5) Because NIN like rules so much.

6) I think it's like a King's court, except everyone's a vampire and stuff. And they drain the Jester if he sucks.

7) Rarely, since they're so long.

8) Of course, it's like a rule or something. Unless you're not really in love. :( Are you?

9) He screamed when he was Randy Giles. And screaming is kinda girly. Unless it's screaming over a big huge nasty bug. Then screaming is the macho thing to do. :)

10) I've seen a couple fanfics where the sex is bad and people suck at it. They were humor fics.

11) Hum, because many writers wouldn't be able to write women turned into men?

12) I'm fairly sure it's that Apollo like Spike.

13) Ach, never. Even when he's being all a people person or faux Irishman.

14) Can the most important organ be considered an appendage? :D

15) It's a bone! *is 6*

16) People keen all the time. Like, when you stub your toe, that's perfect keening time.

17) Spike and Angel? Good lord.

18) It's all the rage now, nothing says love like a single ruby drop of blood. Besides, wrist slitting is so final yanno, palm cutting gives all the emo payload without the icky after effects.

19) That's deep and stuff. Heavy.

you crack my shit up

[tkp.livejournal.com]

3) When?
8) Guess not!
9) Forgot about Randy. He was a bit of a girl, though. I want to see a fic where he was cross-dressing as a disguise in Tabula Rasa, so that when the spell happens he thinks he's a girl. Or just gay. I also want to see a fic of "Him" where Willow's spell to turn letterjacketboy into a girl gets wonkered up by Spike and Spike turns into a girl. Yes.
10) There should be bad sex in good fics.
11) Doesn't stop them writing men turned into men.
12) Dunno. See Adonis and David a lot, too.
15) HAHAHHAHA.
18) HAHAHAHHAA again.
19) You can carry it in the palm of your hand!

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Master vampire, courts, weeping cocks, ruby half moons on palms, all of this makes me want to ask one thing.

What the hell are you reading?? and why aren't you sharing it with the rest of us so we can giggle too?.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

These details come from so many places, though. And by that I don't mean just that each was culled from a different fic. It's like bad fic writers have a list of details they *need* to include, and all of 'em are in each.

Most of 'em are old archived things I find because they are long. No one writes long unless it's bad and all human. But those? 're everywhere. Laugh it up.

[marenfic.livejournal.com]

I totally want to fuck you like an animal. DON'T TELL ME WHAT I WANT AND DON'T WANT.

;)

[tkp.livejournal.com]

hahaha! Whenever I hear "Closer", I just want to scream, NO YOU DON'T. But it's true. I can't tell NIN what they want.

*is saddened, by that*

I never Know about you and these questions ....

[seraphcelene]

What is a Master vampire? Is it like, an internship? 20 years with Angelus you get a degree in vampirism? Is this anything at all like how stoney321 is a Master Gardener? Or is all of this just a corruption of "Marsters"? Come on now, 'fess up.

Depends on your universe/canon. Generally, I believe, it's based around age and strength. Typically the older a vampire is the more power he has. At some point he's powerful enough to control other vampires or people or whatever and he's a master. But that's all very Anita Blake. Although, I think S1's Master was someone along those lines. He looked to much like what we later discovered to be the Turok Han not to be very old and very powerful and therefore Somebody's Master.

How many exclamation points do you need? Just curious.
As many as it takes, you know. Dried Frog Pills.

Can't some erections be [...] advanced calculus hard? Why do they all gotta be rock?
I am dying right now with laughter. We're talking milk out of my nose and that is so not professional.

What's a vampire court? A necro-tinted box for playing tennis? Or maybe it's judicial, and you have to burn your hand on the Bible and solemnly swear you're up to no good? No really, are there like, powdered wigs and stuff?
It's like a coven. Or more like a kiss (the collective noun). Just a group but with hierarchy, of course. Think aristocracy.

How often does anyone actually "have long conversations about everything and nothing"?
*slowly raises hand* Me and my BFF talk in circles for hours at a time. I think four may be the record. The problem is that I talk A LOT and I have a tendency to wander away on these tangents that lead off onto more tangents and so forth and so on. I seldom remember what my point was at any given moment.

Did I miss out on that?
OMG, I hope I did. *shudders*

Are there ever weak orgasms in fanfic? Ever?
I gave Buffy a tiny almost orgasm. Mostly she was faking for the camera. That would be "and if you should have a future".

The pregnancy question? OMGWTF!!!! (please take note of the necessity of additional exclamation points)

I really don't think I want to know where these question came from. I have the vague, disconcerting feeling that they were inspired by really, really, really, god-awfully bad fic. If that's true then that is a tragedy. A big one. Dude.

Re: I never Know about you and these questions ....

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Anita Blake.

Is this where it comes from, then?

*slowly raises hand* Me and my BFF talk in circles for hours at a time.

I have had long conversations about everything and nothing. But it's once in a blue moon, mostly because we don't have *time*. It just seems like this is a catch-phrase fic authors use to say characters are getting to know each other, just so they can say the "I love you" part. I'd rather they actually get to know each other and *not* say the "I love you" part.

"and if you should have a future"

This fic isn't in your memories, so I couldn't find an lj entry to leave fb. Your langauge is really beautiful, and I love that ugly-raw stuff you did that we talked about, and sometimes I could *see* Buffy and sometimes it was another person entirely, which was surreal and quite cool. Yeah, definitely not-good-but-good-sex; I wish there was more writing like that in fandom.

I have the vague, disconcerting feeling that they were inspired by really, really, really, god-awfully bad fic. If that's true then that is a tragedy. A big one. Dude.

I find bad fic entertaining. But actually, stuff like "velvet over steel" and impressions of fingernails happens in lots of good fics--I just did the fingernail thing myself!--but some of it just get so old. Other stuff, like mpreg--well, I see the links to those, but I've never really read one.

[tinpanalley.livejournal.com]

I'm partial to "New York Times crossword puzzle" hard myself. It just flows trippingly off the tongue.

The blood drops on palms gets me too. Along with the people who are biting their lips until they bleed. Wouldn't that create some awful sores if you did that all the time? I mean, who would kiss you?

[my_daroga]

I'm so using that in bed.

[sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com]

Hrmmm *ponders* What have you been reading?

I can only answer the ones that actually make some kind of sense to me, so ...

Yes. I like my cocks rock hard. Half hard sometimes, but when at the moment of sex, rock hard is a good description. Course, I also like my rock ... hard, when I'm listening to such things. *la*

I have had long conversations about everything and nothing. Some of the best times of my life. Hands down.

I like it when Spike, or any other partner of Angel's screams. No, I don't consider it girly, although I like it when female partners of Angel's scream also. hrmmmm, maybe I'm just a screamer in my head. *g*

uh, yeah. The greek god thing is overused. But very apropo. For Angel, of course.

Do you really *want* to read about a weak orgasm?

I never want to see/hear/read about Angel giggling. Ever.

Keening can work, but not all the time. Overused I think it becomes whining. Which is as irritating as giggling. *shudders*

Velvet? Over? Steel? Well, heh. I am guilty of that. Prolly. But I have held a few cocks in my 40+ years that actually *were* velvet over steel and as such were some of my favorites and they have made it into my writing. Go pretty cocks!

:)

oh yes, and NIN rulz. *holds up lighter* *headbangs* Having sex with Angel would bring anyone Closer to God. Dude. That is my religion.

*snorfle*

[i-palimpsest.livejournal.com]

>Course, I also like my rock ... hard


You like cock-hard rock?

Like a velvet bass over a steel guitar?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm totally going to write the Ultimate Cliche Fic with all of these things in there.

I want to fuck you like a fern spore. I want to feel you on the OUTside, because that's where the interesting bits are.

What's fun is to read bad!fic outloud, including the orgasm noises. "Haaaaahhhnnnannhaaannnaahhnnahhhhaaannn Haaaaaannnhhhannnaa Ha" stands as my personal favorite.

[i-palimpsest.livejournal.com]

What? Sometimes you need to clear your throat at an untimely moment.

I love that last Ha! Like even the orgasmic person is laughing at it.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I would really think it only natural for the vamplines (vampire felines - they are ALWAYS PURRING) to have cat dicks. You know: sandpaper over a soft bag of jello. The opposite of velvet over steel.

VIAGRA, MUCHACHAS!

[rahirah]

I had this idea about Pylea!Spike that he would... uh...never mind.

[i-palimpsest.livejournal.com]

1. Master - Bator.
2. OMG!!!!!!! Depends how excited you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Not as often as he deserves.
4. Or possibly just cock hard? Cause a cock that was ACTUALLY rock hard would be uncomfortable in the old love folds there :)
5. Because NIN are quite pushy. And if you don't put them in your fic they will come round and leave your taps on and prank call your Mum. It's just safer to quote them. Even if they are only using you to get to God. (NO NIN - Fuck me like an animal for ME not Him!!)
6. It's like Henry VIII's one wrong move and your head's off.
7. Most of my long conversations are about everything and nothing, like this one. One was about the glass ceiling for half casts in the Romulan military.
8. I did when I was 15. But then there were no diamonds. I know people who proabably would - but they can't afford the diamonds either . . . . and NIN would so not make an appearance.
9. Do NIN prank call your Mum? Depends why they are screaming. Screeching anything is a turn off in RL. exp. Screeching 12 yr old girls. (Ah the pain of guide leading!)
10. Why - What would be the point? It'd like a weak climax to the story.
11. Because we'd just get excited about being able to pee standing up (cause you know- useful!) and that doesn't get overly interesting.
12. Spike I think - which just goes to show that ppl arn't looking at too many greek statues cause they aint that skrawny. Now Patrick Stewart in Misummer nights in 1977 - THATS greek statuesq.
13. Angelus giggles. - Liam giggles but more drunkenly and less creeepily. So Angel probably does but only when there's no one around - cause you know too cool.
14. ap‧pend‧age  [uh-pen-dij] Pronunciation Key
–noun
1. a subordinate part attached to something; an auxiliary part; addition.
2. Anatomy, Zoology. any member of the body diverging from the axial trunk.

15. the luuuuuuurve muscle.
16. Technically Keening is just Scots for Crying - so yes - but only Scottish people.
17. Hmmm - Surely Giles would just go HA! and let them at it.
18. Never done it - Why? It hurts.
19. Frankly if the appendage in question is velvety - it sounds like a stiff course of antibiotics is required,

[tkp.livejournal.com]

1. FTW!
7. One was about the glass ceiling for half casts in the Romulan military. . . . aaaaaand, for another win!
10. It would be realistic. And actually, sometimes just a little "oh" is really sexy.
14. Wow! Than it is!
16. Oh. For American people it involves rocking yourself and wailing.

[ljgould.livejournal.com]

I don't have anything to add to what others have said, but I have to tell you that your post and the replies made me laugh out loud. I needed that today.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

ha! Anything to brighten someone's day!

I hope you have lots of laughs today!

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

What is a Master vampire? Is it like, an internship? 20 years with Angelus you get a degree in vampirism? Is this anything at all like how stoney321 is a Master Gardener? Or is all of this just a corruption of "Marsters"? Come on now, 'fess up.

It's the next step after your undergraduate degree. It's for vampires who want to specialize - Advanced Chainsaw; Writings of the Marquis de Sade; Rape Practicum. The thesis at the end is a killer. No wait, at the end you kill your thesis advisor.

How many exclamation points do you need? Just curious.
How do you mend a broken heart? How do you stop the sun from shining?

How many times does Xander cry in canon? Can we count? Because whatever the number, I just don't think the ratio equates to once a paragraph and three times in the penultimate paragraph of the page. I really don't.

He cried in every episode, but it was off camera. First Angel wouldn't fuck him and then Spike turned him down. He had a lot to weep about.

Can't some erections be, I don't know, kitchen faucet hard, or maybe advanced calculus hard? Why do they all gotta be rock?

"His cock was hard as a rock. Unfortunately, it was a rock made of talc, which crumbled easily in her hands."

Why is NIN always in fic? Always? You do not want to fuck me like an animal. You do not want to feel me from the inside. I do not bring you closer to god. TRUST ME ON THIS.

Becuae only southernbangel thinks Air Supply is hot.

What's a vampire court? A necro-tinted box for playing tennis? Or maybe it's judicial, and you have to burn your hand on the Bible and solemnly swear you're up to no good? No really, are there like, powdered wigs and stuff?

It's a misspelling, corrupted from the original "quart of vampires" to describe a gathering of vamps similar in intent to a "murder of crows".

How often does anyone actually "have long conversations about everything and nothing"?

Hey, it's not nice to make fun of my speaking style.

Does everyone celebrate one month anniversaries? Is this some really universal thing I missed out on? Where a month went by and we hid the new diamonds and entertainment systems we got each other and surprised each other with them, then one of us had to be disappointed because the reservations we made at the fanciest restaurant in town were vetoed by the other who had rented us the night on the yacht, and there was lobster and formal wear and slow dancing, and the food was never bad and the clothes were always perfect and the slow dancing was probably to NIN, and then there was lots and lots of gentle I love you sex? Did I miss out on that?

I'm lucky I know what day it is.

Does Spike scream? Is it sexist or something to think screaming is kinda . . . girly? Do screeching men in fic turn anyone else off? Anyone? Can we count the number of times Spike screams in canon, too?

I think it's more of a shriek, done each time he fell into an open grave.

[lynnenne]

How do you mend a broken heart? How do you stop the sun from shining?

I love you. And Barry Gibb.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Are there ever weak orgasms in fanfic? Ever?

I think you mean "week" orgasms. After, Buffy had to be hospitalized because coming for seven straight days does awful things to your metabolism. Not to mention that sore throat.

If men get to turn into women, how come women don't ever turn into men? And if men get pregnant, how come they don't have to have periods? And go through menapause? And can someone show me a fic where a women gets a prostate? Please?

I'd like to see an mpreg fic where they have to pisch all the time. Because that by far is the worst part of being pregnant. And no ever tells you ahead of time.

Which one gets compared to Greek gods/statues more: Angel or Spike?

Angel is Michelangelo's David. Sheesh, which fics do you read?

Does Angel giggle? Can we count the number of times Angel giggles in canon? Just for the sake of balance, here.

In "Basd Eggs", they modified the directions in the scene where they're kissing in the graveyard. The orginal stage directions are they fall on top of each other, laughing. I assume giggling. But we don't get to see any Angelic giggles, unless you count the insane stuff he does without a soul.

Is cock really an appendage? *wants to know*
I do know it doesn't posess an oppsoeable thumb.

Do people really think the penis is a muscle? *doesn't want to know, so much*
I have an image now of a little barbell. 3 sets of curls, 10 reps each.

How often do people keen? I mean, all people. Can we count the number of times real people in the world have keened? Will it still be less than the number of times Spike keens over Angel and Xander keens over Spike? The comparison would really just be for the sake of intellectual curiosity.

Only Eastern European women in peasant dress keen.

When did Giles turn into the Big Bad trying to keep Spike and Angel apart?
Jealousy on his part, obviously.

And just how often do people cut their palms with their nails? Is this really something so common that it needs to happen at least once a fic? And if the whole world's gone emo, can't we all just slit our wrists instead of these halfmoon impressions on our palms drawing single ruby drops? Or what?
This is what comes of bad manicures.

Velvet? Over? Steel?
Eggs? Over? Easy?

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Angel is Michelangelo's David. Sheesh, which fics do you read?

He is NOT. David has a small penis. I saw it, I know.

In a *lot* A/S fics, there's this weird phenomenon that one or the other of them is describes as beautiful and godlike and gorgeous, and the other one is just pretty. Like, *raptures* over Spike and Angel is hot too, or completely vice versa. It's weird.

But we don't get to see any Angelic giggles, unless you count the insane stuff he does without a soul.

But aren't those more, chortles, than giggles? Most men just don't . . . giggle, unless they're the Trio.

I have an image now of a little barbell. 3 sets of curls, 10 reps each.

Um. Ew? Isn't that like, a Prince Albert, or something.

Eggs? Over? Easy?

HAHHAHAH! You completely win! Your answers were the bestest. I love you and your snark. Prompt me with an idea for a really really short B/A scene. Please oh please! I'll probably never do it though, but I *want* to!

[lynnenne]

How often does anyone actually "have long conversations about everything and nothing"?

Every night, on Seinfeld.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

"everything and nothing" works better with a dramatic pause in the middle.

"everything ... and nothing" Yeah. Now it's awesome.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Why is NIN always in fic? Always? You do not want to fuck me like an animal.

Wait? Trent Reznor fucks animals? That dude is fucked up!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Apparently.

[ravenwings-7.livejournal.com]

Most of these questions have been answered by people funnier than me.

OMG. Pardon me, I'm watching BSG while writing. I can't believe they just did that. Only 15 minutes in, at that. Wow.

*ahem* Where was I? I think that Xander did the single-tear thing about once a season, and he had a big off-camera cry in the Body. And Spike screamed when Glory tortured him (though he tried to suppress it), and when he rematerialized out of the amulet. His screams are very manly, though, and could be classified as yells by some.

Ooh! That was a neat trick. Sorry. Must stop watching TV and internetting at the same time. Going away now.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I can't believe they just did that. Only 15 minutes in, at that. Wow.

I can't believe you were writing this while watching *that*. I had my knuckle in my mouth and was like . . . keening.

I don't believe I remember a single time Xander single teared.

[my_daroga]

I scared my dog laughing so hard at all this.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

*gives your dog a cookie!*

[43100.livejournal.com]

K. I'm going to write a fic where two hot canon people screw and the sex SUCKS. Yay! You have inspired me!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

Dude, don't tease me. I'm serious.

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

Are there ever weak orgasms in fanfic? Ever?

I wrote a SGA fic (http://www.sliverofice.com/fanfic/sga_fic/misadventuresoflc.htm) where Rodney has a case of premature ejaculation. Does that count? Or is that a really excited orgasm?

I think

If men get to turn into women, how come women don't ever turn into men? And if men get pregnant, how come they don't have to have periods? And go through menapause? And can someone show me a fic where a women gets a prostate? Please?

Seriously, I'm going to give you another SGA example. Ardhanarishvara (http://www.eternalvox.net/~auburn/Ardhanarishvara_1-12.html) by auburnnothenna and monanotlisa it is a genderswitch fic that includes 2 men turning into women and 1 woman turning into a man. No one gets knocked up (so far), but they do get their periods.

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm pretty sure that it was valerie_z who wrote a QAF fic where Micheal and Brian swap bodies and discover that Brian's body has weak orgasms and that's why he needs/wants lots of them because they're so little.

[femmenerd.livejournal.com]

I NEED THIS MANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tkp.livejournal.com]

I used to never use capslock or excess punctuation, actually.

Now LOOK at me. LOOK AT ME, FEMME!!!!!!!!!!!

[alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com]

HIGHlarious.

Are there ever weak orgasms in fanfic? Ever?

There are none! And no women grow prostates, even though plenty of men grow wombs! Why?

And don't you find that people often "white out" after orgasms? Better than blacking out, but still. Lots of Liquid Paper after orgasm.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

What's funny is, in the mpreg I've read (which is very limited, I'll grant you. I think all of it was on accident!) they don't even grow wombs. The baby . . . I don't know. Grows in the prostate?

I almost put that about the whiting out, or seeing stars, or seeing lights behind their eyes. At the last moment, I didn't--not just because I am guilty of that expression--but because . . . how else do you say it? There should be other descriptions; they're really should be, but... not to get into the realm of TMI...but . . . stars. Literally. STARS. And what else do I say?

[sparklebutch.livejournal.com]

Can't some erections be, I don't know, kitchen faucet hard, or maybe advanced calculus hard? Why do they all gotta be rock?

Some are diamond. Which is even more disturbing. Because if you have a hardness competition between a penis and a diamond.. ow. Then again, same with rock, I guess. SMASH. Not very often found in fic.

How often does anyone actually "have long conversations about everything and nothing"?

Almost every night. We call it "chat". It's not romantic though, despite the amount of times the word "cock" is mentioned.

Are there ever weak orgasms in fanfic? Ever?

They really should have that more. Or at least less of "the best EVAH in life". Because that's just... kinda makes for a disappointing life, you know? Plus, a lot of pressure for next time.

If men get to turn into women, how come women don't ever turn into men?

Oh, oh! That does happen. But just like in real life, MTF has more visibility than FTM.

Velvet? Over? Steel?

More or less the reason I replied. Because, I made lots of mistakes in my writing over the years, and I have a lot of badly written cheap porn, trust me, a LOT. But I'm almost sure I've never, ever used that phrase. Or even thought it. So. Kinda proud of self, here.

[tkp.livejournal.com]

If they were diamond there would be more Lorena Bobbits.

Or at least less of "the best EVAH in life".

Okay, exactly! Everyone was like, why would you WANT to read about a weak orgasm? But while I personally would actually like to, what I'm really referring to here is that every orgasm has to be life altering in fic. And that's just . . . in the end, 99.9% of the time, there are things more important in life than orgasm.

Oh, oh! That does happen. But just like in real life, MTF has more visibility than FTM.

Hadn't thought of it that way.

I am pretty sure I have used velvet over steel. I actually think I might've been using it to describe someone's voice, which is worse, because then he has a cock voice. Anyway, I don't think it's that bad, actually, but I just see it so often it drives me crazy now. So, yes, congrats to you!

Thanks for swinging by!