Attn: H/D fic help

...the whole five of you who would even click on a Harry/Draco fic, much less read one:

I seem to have found . . . 45,000 words worth of a crack, massive, lame, embarrassing H/D WIP on my hard drive that I don't see myself finishing, and yet every time I check it, filled with innocent bewilderment, the word count goes up another 5,000 or so.

I was wondering whether any of the <5 of you could:
a. explain to me how this got on my hard drive,
b. read it and help me,
c. shoot me now,
d. hold my hand and pet it while I dissolve into tears of despair and self-loathing, while not letting anyone involved in Jossverse know,
e. all of the above.